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Things You Will Never Hear A Celebrity Say....
What are you some things you KNOW you will never hear a celebrity say about themselves (or really, they just can't...hehehehehe):
"I'm clean" (Whitney and Bobby) "My voice is improving" (Ashanti) I go to the dentist every 6 months" (Lil' Jon) |
"I picked up a copy of my marriage license at the courthouse" (Brandy)
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"I think women are the most sexually alluring creatures on the planet" (Michael Jackson)
"Of course I knew she was underage" (Rrrahh Kelly, I love him but he got some issues) |
"I prefer black women" (Kobe Bryant)
"I suck at basketball" (Shaq) "Money is worthless" (Donald Trump) "We have dreams of attending Harvard" (Ying Yang Twins) |
"I know that y'all don't care about my opinion, so I'll keep it to myself." almost any celebrity
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"You know I really can't carry a tune." Britney, Ashanti, JS (whatever their name really is), Madonna, Beyonce (unless she's really trying), J Ho
"I recently discovered a cold fusion that will save us from our oil dependent lives." Jessica Simpson "I'm really not that great of a coach, I just show up at the right time with the right team." Phil Jackson |
"I think I'm gonna ask that sistah out!" (Wesley Snipes)
"I made that %$#@**! marry my daughter b/c he knocked her up" (Matthew Knowles) "Fo shizzle, my nizzle" - (Bill Cosby) "I'm pregnant" (Oprah, Missy, Latifah, Da Brat, Condelezza Rice) "Can I borrow a dollar?" (Oprah, Bill Gates) |
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i actually like JS and i thought their album was really good. i still listen to it. :) [/hijack] |
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It's okay, they had too much of a teeny bopper feel for me to get into, there are a LOT of folks I don't listen to that folks think I'm just crazy about (ie Alicia Keyes--can't stand her or her music) so JS may have just been a personal MSN moment ROFL. |
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Now that right there...just wrong! Funny, but wrong. /end hijack |
"I'm a natural beauty" (Lil Kim, Pamela Anderson, etc)
"I've never had an STD" (again, Lil Kim) "People come to my concerts to hear me sing" (Britney Spears) "My man does NOT look like Joe Camel" (Beyonce) "I think my performance in Glitter was Oscar-worthy" (Mariah Carey) "I'm an independent woman who doesn't need a man on my arm to validate me" (J.Ho) "I always pay my taxes" (Jermaine Dupri) "I scored 1500 on the SAT" (Jessica Simpson) |
I am getting my gold teeth removed. ~ Monica, Master P, and other gold toothed celebrities
I'm ORIGINAL ~ P. Diddy I Do ~ Brandy (wedding vows) Girl, that crack man forgot to give me my receipt. ~ Whitney Houston |
OMG...these are too funny that you guys posted. Ok, here are some more:
"Damn You Beyonce!" (Ashanti, Brandy, Monica, Kelis, Christina Milan, Kelly Rowland, Michelle) "I think I'm gonna go out and lay in the sun" (Michael Jackson) "Yeah, I know he's gay" (Star Jones) "I'm starving." (Brandy, Laura Flyn Boyle, Brittany Murphy) |
"Cubic Zirconia is just as good as, if not better than, diamonds." -Oprah Winfrey
"I have a personal stylist and a personal trainer to keep me looking tight." - Raven "I think that's too much weave." - Diana Ross "I miss you guys!" - Omarion (sp?) from B2K "YEAHHHHHH!" - Oprah, Condeleeza, Bryant Gumbel in their best Lil Jon voice "I'm a low-key kind of girl. A quiet night at home is always cool with me." - Paris Hilton "Dude, you're weird." - Marilyn Manson, Dennis Rodman |
"I found the real killer" ~O J Simpson
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to piggyback
"We never left Nicole with OJ just so we could keep leaching off of him and his funds." The Brown Family I ain't trying to be messy but really why ain't they toss her in the trunk and pull her away from that mess that they witnessed. |
"No, nothing is wrong with my eye.....I just like wearing shades"
(Musiq, Lil John) "Mary-Kate, can I borrow a pair of your jeans?" (Ashley Olsen) |
I Do, Steadman ~ Oprah (at the altar)
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"I wish my mouth wasn't so dirty"- Nicole Richie
"I am just getting married, so my fans won't forget me"- Britney Spears "I should give Britney some marriage advice on how to stay in a relationship"- Jenifer Lopez "If we were in a fight, Britney will kick my butt" - Pink "I am really not a tough chick, it is just all an act" - Avril Lavigne |
"Yo, baby, yo." --- Kanye West
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LOL!!! But, he does say that...when he's all alone. I'm a very humble person~Usher |
"No, I don't think I'm that pretty" -- Usher
"Yea, I messed up with Justin and want him back!!" --Britney "Articulate man, articulate!!!"--One Ying-Yang twin to the other. "You know he gave me that ring to save my career" - Brandy "No, this was not inspired by Beyonce" - Ashanti's look on 106 & Park "I know my career is over" - Nick Lashey "You know, I think I looked better before the surgery" Lil Kim "You know, those other teams might be way better than us" The US Mens Olympic Basketball Team " I should have listened to my parents" Kobe |
"You know, I kinda miss having a wife to go home to." ~ Snoop
"I know Kelis ain't got no talent!" ~ NaS "I'm a very devout Christian who doesn't believe in showing a lot of skin." ~ Beyonce "I thought rolling around in black stuff in my video was...sexy?" ! ~ Christina Millian "I'm very feminine!" ~ Babs from Da Band "We felt that our Hot & Wet album was just as good as or better than Part III ~ 112 We don't regret trying to leave Bad Boy." ~ 112 |
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"Ok, ok, Imma quit playin' wit yall. I really am going to stay retired this time."
(Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, Deion Sanders, and in about a year, Ricky Williams.) |
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"Show me what you working wit'" Stevie Wonder
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You are surely surely surely going to ROAST in the BLUE FLAMES of HELL for THAT ONE!!! :p I'm sexy ~ Craig Mack, Shabba Ranks |
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"It really WASN'T a wardrobe malfunction" - Janet Jackson
" I know my man is towe up and hates to pay taxes" -Janet Jackson "I hate my sister...I know I sing MUCH better than her!!" (Solange, Ashlee Simpson) "Pardon me...do you have any Grey Pupon? (spoken in a British accent) - Yin Yang Twins, Lil John |
My movie was #1 at the box-office this weekend~Chris Rock
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I really don't like wearing those tailor made suits, I prefer to buy off the rack~ Steve Harvey
I'm just a normal person. I mean,wearing my hubby's blood in a vial around my neck and kissing my brother full on the mouth is something everyone does. ~Angelina Jolie |
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You're trying HARD to get folks fired, kicked out the library, etc. this afternoon, huh? :) |
Of corse this is my real nose~Michael Jackson
That's not Tommy and me in that video~ Pamela Anderson I should have stayed with P. Diddy~ J. Ho |
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"All my songs don't sound the same!" (Jagged Edge, Ja Rule and Nelly)
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Purple is so not my color ~ Prince
I'm underdressed ~ Lil Kim, Christina Aguilera, Britney etc I need to find a great composer, or some original beats - Puffy Diddy, etc This wig looks awful - P Diddy's Mama My name is Whitney and I'm a drug addict (Hi Whitney!) (singing) Girl You Know it's True!!! - Milli Vanilli |
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