Worst Wedding Ever (vent)
 

I have been honored, over the past few years, to attend many of my friends' weddings. The vast majority of these have been enjoyable affairs, with a beautiful ceremony followed by a fun reception that gave us the chance to celebrate with the bride and groom and other guests.

This past weekend, I attended the Worst. Wedding. Ever. In. The. History. Of. Weddings. Actually, the ceremony was beautiful, and everything leading up to it was nice, but things went rapidly downhill afterwards.

The couple are Orthodox Jews, so everything was very, well, Orthodox. The men were sent into one room to pray with the groom; the women went into another room to greet the bride. I had the chance to catch up with some of my friends. Soda and fruit/veggie plates were set out for us. During the ceremony, men and women were seated separately, but there was no divider, so we could see everything that was going on. Like I said, the ceremony was beautiful. :)

Then came the reception from hell.......

"Cocktail" hour: Consisted of leftover soda and veggie and fruit plates from before the ceremony. All the guests were crowded into the lobby, which was not large enough, nor was it air conditioned.

Seating: The bride's mother did the seating chart, and did not consult with the bride, groom, or groom's family. The result was a more-or-less random seating chart which had one of our friends placed at a table where everyone else was of our parents' generation and she knew no one.

Photographer: Couldn't be bothered to stand up from where he was sitting when the bride and groom were to enter the hall. "I'll get them from here." :rolleyes: Also, he didn't even take basic care of his equipment. At one point he slung his camera carelessly over his shoulder - if I hadn't ducked, he would have brained me with it. My husband nearly got clocked over the head too.

Band: Far too loud, and the concept of a key was completely foreign to them. The accordion playing bore a close resemblence to a burlap sack full of cats being hit with sticks.

Alcohol: None except for one bottle per table (10 people per table) of wine that was utter and complete plonk. It's fine to choose to have no alcohol at your wedding, or no alcohol other than wine, but if you're going to serve wine, you should be able to tell the difference between the wine and paint thinner.

Food: As Orthodox Jews, this couple obviously wanted kosher food. Unfortunately, there are only a few kosher caterers in Boston, and they are booked out years in advance. So they called a kosher Chinese restaurant in the area. So dinner was Chinese. And greasy disgusting Chinese, at that. :rolleyes: And what is more...

THEY RAN OUT OF FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They ran out of food with fully one-quarter of the guests unfed. They had to go back to the restaurant and get more food, which took a full half-hour. And when the announcer said "those of you who haven't eaten yet, the food has arrived" guess who pushed his way to the front of the buffet line -- the @$$hole photographer! NO! VENDORS EAT LAST!!

While we're on the subject of food, the cake was our old friend -- SHEET CAKE. :p

We left early, and we were far from the first to leave.

I almost wish I weren't too much of a lady to tell this couple exactly what I thought of their reception. :p

Well... the important thing is that they are married...

Re: Worst Wedding Ever (vent)
 

ROFLMFAO!!!! :rolleyes:

That description just about had me falling out of my chair laughing! It's too bad about the... um... non-standard reception. Hopefully the couple's marriage will turn out to be more successful than the reception was. Best of luck to them! :)

I envision this happening in the near future...
 

Isn't there a rule of thumb about how much food to get for your guests? Like, 50% more than you think you'll need?

Semi-related, but a hijack nonetheless...
I realize that a lot of people want to get married in a specific place for whatever reason (or just to impress the future in-laws), but can't afford the catering packages, and as a result don't get enough food for everyone. No one is going to eat just one deviled egg, okay? If it's that big of an issue...maybe it would just be smarter to have your reception in a place where you can actually afford to have your guests eat more than one mini-quiche.

But, you're right--at least they're married now!

WHOA. That does sound pretty bad. I am sure the bride and groom were quite embarassed so you did good by remaining classy and not speaking your true feelings;) Thanks for sharing the story though, it was funny to read about.

Seems Crass and Cheap. I think I agree with Munch, have the event at a place you can afford to feed people.

Query: Were people at the recpetion talking about it?

Wow. I try not to complain or expect too much when I go to a wedding, because having been a bride I know what it's like to have to plan everything and hope that your guests enjoy themselves... but your story takes the cake! I've never heard of anything so, er, cheap! Yes, they definitely should have made sure there was enough food for everyone! And the seating??? OMG, I freaking obsessed over the seating for my wedding... I can't believe that the bride in this case left it all up to someone else! Oh well... at least you can laugh about it and just think... if their photographer was that bad you can bet he was cheap and they are going to get what they paid for!

Re: I envision this happening in the near future...
 

That;s the rule we use for Hy-Vee Catering.

And always (ALWAYS!!) send SASE RSVP cards with invitations so that you have a greater idea of how many guests will be there- my sister and brother in-law told the caterers they would have 400 guests at their reception... I still have bags upon bags of BBQ Pork in my freezer that was left over because there were only 150 guests at the reception, there were 400 people that were sent invitations.

Whoa, I thought the "we drove the whole @#$%ing way up to the state line for crackers and punch" wedding was bad. This totally tops it!!

Wow. I was all geared up to post about the rather trashy wedding I went to this weekend, but that takes the (sheet)cake.

Wedding I went to this weekend: NO bar/beverages/etc. (we got a plastic cup and pitcher of water) at our seats... decent food but served on chinet-type plates... some people had to sit in the bar (not in service of course) because there wasn't enough room for everyone in the actual hall... no air conditioning so we had doors open and fruit flies buzzing all around us.

I think the thing that bothered me most though was that the ceremony was at 2pm on the beach. Reception immediately after right there in a little hall type building. But they expected everyone to stay until 11pm!!! We ate at 4pm and by 5:30 we were ready to be done and gone. We ended up sneaking out by 6.

I'm relieved that our RSVPs are coming in way under what we were possibly going to get. We sent out for 150 people, expecting 125 but hoping for about 100. Both of our families live out of state so it was sort of an all or nothing deal with the extended fam and thankfully most aren't coming :) We'll probably end up with just under 100.... which will mean we hopefully won't end up in aephialum's "friend"s shoes :)

Gotta share my bad wedding experience...
 

although I don't think it'll match the sheetcake wedding...

This wedding was almost two years ago. The bride and groom were both college friends (she was a bridesmaid and he an usher in my wedding, and I had dated him earlier in college for a brief period of time (and long before they met)). Anyhow, they decided to get married on October 31st. That's right, Halloween. Guests were asked to show up in costume. So far, not bad, right?

The wedding and reception took place at his uncle's farm. Wedding outside, reception in a set-up tent. It had been raining for three days, and the ground was nothing but mud. And it was FREEZING cold.

The wedding went well, but the reception... The heaters in the tent hardly made a dent in heating the place. The caterer arrived late with the food. Instead of a DJ or band, they hooked up a CD player and changed the CDs themselves (oh, but there was no room to dance anyways).

Lots of other little things were bad too (too many to get into). Like I said earlier, not as bad as the sheetcake wedding, but definately the worst one I've been to.

Aephi alum, I'm sorry for your pain, but that's some funny isht.

I don't understand why people just don't realize that if they can't throw a decent wedding where their guests are likely to enjoy themselves, they don't just elope or invite like 20 people. Seriously, nobody would be upset to miss out on weddings like this one.

Re: Worst Wedding Ever (vent)
 

Also ROTFL!!!!!

This brought back memories of:

Wedding 1: The band cancelled at the last minute, so a One Man Band took its place. As in, one man with cymbals on his knees, a guitar in one hand, a keyboard in the other, and his foot playing the drums! :eek:

Wedding 2: The bride decided to save the money on a band, and instead, brought a RADIO!!! The astonishment in the voice of the disc jockey announcing that, "I just heard that I've been the entertainment at the wedding of the former Miss X and Mr. Y, so I'm sending this next song out to the happy couple!" had to be heard to fully comprehend.


But, oh, AEPhiAlum, I feel your pain!

Oh hayle no!

You need to submit this story to
www.etiquettehell.com (FYI if you wanna get a laugh about trashy folx and weddings from hell, this is the site)

The wedding can be beautiful, the bride can look smashing but if the food is bad or there are issues with the food folks WILL talk about you like a dog!

That is one bad wedding disaster story.

I didn't attend this wedding. I know someone who was married during a terrible storm. Her guests were stuck in their cars due to flooding. The facility provided an SUV to transport the guests to the hall. It took about two hours to get all of the guests from the parking area to the hall. Many of the guests didn't show up because they couldn't get there. The room was half empty at the ceremony and reception. It's one of those things that the couple laughs about now, but it was bad at the time.

LMAO!!!! However, I have a great one.

At my best friends wedding, the DJ (who was not the contracted DJ by the way. Just some high school stand-in) was informed that the father/daughter song was supposed to be "Through the Years" by Kenny Rogers. Instead, as they pair up to dance, I nearly fell out of my seat in shock when we heard "Let's Get It On"
I tried not to laugh b/c I could see my friend wanted to cry & her mom yelling at the DJ who stubbornly refused to change it. Not a good or pretty scenario.

I was invited to a wedding last summer and on the invitation to the reception immediately following the wedding it said BYOB.


If that isn't trashy I don't know what is.

Oh, and, I didn't go.

My sister was a waitress at a Newport Creamery (your standard casual restaurant and ice cream shop). One night, the restaurant was beseiged with a group of about 30-40 people (mostly dressed in jeans and t-shirts), almost filling the entire restaurant. It turns out that the bride and groom (clad in sweatshirts and ripped jeans) had just gotten hitched, and they were now here for "their reception".

My sister and the other waitress ran their butts off serving them burgers and milkshakes, while the group clinked their glasses and stood up to offer toasts to the happy couple. The kicker? if I remember correctly, they tipped about 5-10%. I think she was so shocked and amused by the whole thing that she didn't even care--she just liked telling the story.

I plan to have the cheapest wedding ever.

I'll have a nice dress (which I picked up on clearance) and we'll get married in front of like 20 people. Then we'll go to a bar. It'll be just like in Cocktail but minus the pregnancy.

oh. And maybe I'm a little white trash but I loved the idea of going to the Newport Creamery. But I would've tipped like 40%. Hey, they're STILL saving a lot.







but maybe that's the waitress in me.

Now, I can understand if someone can't afford open bar - it can get pretty damn expensive, and not everyone can afford it. That's fine.

But BYOB...geez, that's going a little far.

Hopefully people won't be saying bad things about our wedding after they go - we'll give them a good time.

Actually in some areas it's quite common. Not everyone makes weddings such big hoohaa. That said, I still find it funny.

I completely agree!! If you can't afford a big wedding have a dinner at a nice restaurant with the parents, grandparents and anyone who would have been in the bridal party if you had a big wedding. or you can just completely avoid the hassle and get married in vegas!

The problem with that is if you have a big, tight-knit families involved. Then you get into a situation where you're picking and chosing close family members. That can be a problem for some people.

I also think a problem arises in that people EXPECT to be invited. When you announce you're getting married, every friend you have expects to get in invitation, and that's not always feasible. The thought is nice, and it would be great to invite everyone, but people have to realize their limitations.

I agree though that you have to weigh these things out...if you have to cut the list, cut the list. You don't have to invite every friend you have, nor should they expect to be there until they get the invitation.

Stop hanging out with trashy people and you won't have these problems.

-Rudey

Or there's that.

There are some NICE wedding packages there...I was amazed...
Silver

I think they were referring to a drive through, get married by Elvis type wedding.

There are ways to do a wedding the right way - there are TONS of vendors around and many different ways to get what you want.

It's said that the two things people remember most from the wedding receptions are the food and music.

aephi Alum this wedding reception you went to is a classic example of what not to do.

If you can't afford to have everyone at the reception, an alternative ,besides drive thru Vegas chapel, is to host a more casual get together the day after the wedding.

My cousin married in Vegas & it was pretty nice. He married at the Little White Chapel & held a luncheon reception at the MGM Grand. If you have lunch instead of a formal dinner, then it's way cheaper.
LOL! However, his marriage dissolved after a few years. I guess you could see the warning signs when the bride was 6 months pregnant at the wedding & my cousin didn't say "I DO" instead when asked if he takes this woman, he replied, "I GUESS SO."

I agree with this 100%!!! At a friends wedding, she failed to realize that in her new hubbies culture, one does not need an invitation to go to a wedding reception. If it's someone they know, they show up anyway. She had planned for 200 people & ended up with over 500! It was a mess, the food ran out early, & to top it off, it turns out that the hall where the reception was at had a stipulation that you had to clean it yourself so when the wedding was over, her side of the family had to stay behind to clean up the mess. His entire family & friends bailed. Not a good day for me.

We had a relatively "cheap" wedding. BUT I absolutely made sure that there was enough food and beverages for everyone plus a lot extra. We hired a "Chuck Wagon" to come BBQ and they had so much food that I don't think we made a dent. Plus he left most of the left overs and everyone digged in later after they had been drinking for hours.

I left out a couple of details!

The tables were set with plastic plates, forks and knives, and glasses. I can sort of understand this, as the couple was concerned that the food be kosher and it could be tough to round up 200+ properly prepared place settings. The food was a buffet, and we were not warned to bring our plates with us to the buffet line, which left more than one guest scurrying back to the table for their plates.

(A better approach with the food, given the difficulty of finding a kosher caterer, would have been to serve a vegetarian meal, maybe with some fish.)

The plastic "wine glasses" were in the shape of champagne glasses. Champagne was not being served. I saw other tables set with plastic wine glasses that were actually shaped like wine glasses. It was apparent that they'd gone to a party supply store, bought whatever wine glasses were in stock, realized there weren't enough, and rather than going to another party supply store for more wine glasses, they made up the difference with champagne glasses.

Before a meal, it is traditional to say kiddush and motzi (blessings for wine and bread, respectively). These prayers are usually led by relatives of the bride and/or groom. We were instructed where to go to wash (it's traditional to wash your hands before the motzi) but no one told us that we were expected to say kiddush and motzi for ourselves... so there we were, sitting and waiting and very confused and hungry, until my husband finally gave up and recited the prayers for the benefit of those at our table.

Then there were the invitations. We received ours about two weeks before the wedding. (We'd gotten a verbal invitation, and other guests had also received their invitations around the same time, so it's not like we were on the B list. They really sent all the invitations that late.) There was no reply card; rather, there was a slip of paper instructing us to RSVP by email. :rolleyes: And they plainly assumed all the people who didn't reply were going to be there; three of the people seated at my table didn't show up, and there were similar gaps at the other tables (and even so, they ran out of food).

Needless to relate, after we ducked out of the reception, we made tracks to a bar. :p

The important thing is that they are married and happy. I wish them many wonderful years together. :)

Jill, thank you for that website. I've been reading it and LMAO! I'm going to submit this story if I find any evidence that it's still being maintained.

LOL @ this entire thread. :)
Have you guys read Ghetto Wedding Stories over in the Alpha Kappa Alpha forum? It's long but worth it.
My brother is getting married this weekend and I fear I may have a story to write soon. :p
(mumbles under breath) Patron of weddings, pray for us!!

Plastics for wedding? Now that is bad.

The AKA forum has some hilarious stories in there wedding thread. I wrote one a few months ago about a Redneck wedding I went to but I'm too lazy to go find it.

I was invited to a friend's wedding a few months ago. She was friends with both my roommate and I. Now, let's say two people live together and are just roommates, how many invitations would you send? Everyone remember this rule of etiquette: unless they are a couple, you send an invitation to each person. She tried to make her wedding as cheap as possible so she sent a wedding invitation addressed to both "Ms. ZTAngel and Ms. ZTAngel's Roommate". Tacky, Tacky, Tacky. My roommate joked, "Since she sent us only one invitation, does that mean we only have to give one gift?" I thought about it but then decided that would be wrong of us. Instead, we got drunk at the wedding and started telling people that apparently we are now Lesbian Life Partners since the invitation was addressed to both of us. :p
On top of it, there wasn't a reply card in the invitation. The invitation (which had spelling errors by the way) had at the bottom the couple's email address for people to RSVP to.
The wedding itself was pretty bad, too, although not as bad as aephi alum's wedding horror story.
It has been a little over three months since the wedding. I am still waiting patiently for my thank-you card for the gift.

Yikes, I was horrible about getting thank you cards out quickly. I'm sure it took me more than 3 months to do it because we bought a house like right after the wedding and were busy trying to make it liveable since we had to buy it "as is." I felt better when someone informed me that technically you have a year to get them out, but now I feel bad again.

Well, while I don't have a personal story to share, here is a story to beat them ALL!!!! Glad I wasn't a guest at this one!!!!

Police: Wedding guests eat victim

MANILA, Philippines (AP) -- Four members of a family have been arrested and charged with murder for allegedly killing and eating a relative during a wedding reception -- and serving his flesh to unwitting party guests, police have said.

At the July 17 wedding of his daughter, Eladio Baule got angry with his cousin Benjie Ganay who tripped and accidentally touched the bride's bottom, said Senior Police Inspector Perla Bacuel, at Narra town in Palawan province, southwest of Manila.

A few hours later, Baule, his son Gerald, another cousin Junnie Buyot and a nephew, Sabtuari Pique, allegedly confronted Ganay, then drove him to a secluded place where they stabbed him to death, Bacuel said.

Buyot, who surrendered to police and is acting as a witness, told police they then roasted Ganay's body using coconut leaves and kerosene, Bacuel said.

Baule senior later forced Buyot to take a bite of Ganay's flesh, which he claims he threw up but was then forced at knifepoint to swallow, Bacuel said.

Buyot told police that the group returned to the party and served some of Ganay's cooked remains to guests who were still celebrating the wedding, Bacuel said.

"It was perhaps due to their drunkenness. They probably didn't know what they were eating," he said.

Buyot reported the incident several days later to a local village leader who took him to police. Pique also surrendered, and Baule and his son were arrested.

Superintendent Rey Lanada, Palawan provincial police chief, said cannibalism would be treated as an aggravating circumstance in the crime.

But wait... there's more!
 

One more thing... (this is not the bride and groom's fault)

It was made patently obvious that in their families' view (or at least, in her family's view) the only purpose for their marriage is to BREED. There were repeated references made to "our growing family" and how "wonderful" it will be when it "continues to grow". Her sisters said something about being there with her when she has her babies (when, not if - and babies, plural).

And... at one point a group of women got out on the dance floor and started making motions as if rocking babies, while the band played "Rockabye Baby" :eek:

I have the feeling that a baby had better materialize next May or else!

Re: Worst Wedding Ever (vent)
 

ROFLMAO!!!

Re: But wait... there's more!
 

I think that Orthodox Jews are supposed to be fruitful and multiply. I have heard of Orthodox families with at least six children. Am I correct? Is that just Hassidic Jews?