traumatized
 

I am feeling extremely traumatized and angry. I just went outside to walk my dog and a guy came up into the middle of the street and started masturbating. I just called the cops and I am waiting for them to come but I don't know what to do otherwise. I have heard about this guy doing this to other women because a woman came up to me last weekend and said this happened to her. I know what he looks like and I screamed that at him as well as I would be calling the cops but that just seemed to make him get into it even more. I am pissed off now because I feel like I can't walk my dog now without being watched. There are tons of females as well as children in this neighborhood and it just sucks. And I couldn't even run right back inside because my dog was in the middle of doing his business. What are the chances of this guy getting caught? I am totally sick to my stomach and people shouldn't have to live like this.

amen to that...
i suppose all you can do is ignore him and keep reporting him.

I met with the cops and they didn't seem too concerned although that is probably just my anger mixed with the fact that they probably deal with stuff like this every day. I guess all I can really do now is go to the precinct and file an actual complaint. I was speaking with a friend and he told me that actually sexual offenders like this have a high chance of being caught because they do it in public and you can see their face. I understand that this is an illness but it is very scary at 5:55 AM when you are half asleep and not expecting it.

oh ew. This happened to me once.... the ladies are right, report report report, and he will be caught eventually because he can't control himself.

Well I went to report this to the precinct. Unfortunately, they said I couldn't actually fill out a report because the guy needs to "be caught in the act" in order for anything to happen. That is a very disturbing thought to me because who knows what else this guy's history could be? I have a colleague who works with a man who has been arrested for rape 3 times and one of his behaviors is masturbating in front of women. At least if they do catch the guy I could come down to identify him in a line-up or something, but they said NYstate doesn't allow that. I told some of my neighbors, and in particular one I know who has a really big mouth, so I am hoping word gets around the neighborhood. I can't get the guy's face out of my head so I know I would be able to identify him if it happened again. The cops said they are going to step up patrols in my neighborhood and put some plain clothes officers in there. I spoke with some people and they said that people that do these things usually have scoped out the neighborhood already and go early in the morning or late at night because they know that people will usually be half asleep or not too on guard, like what happened to me. I am definately going to start carrying my mace when I go outside at night/early in the morning now, and have the puppy use our little yard to go, instead of walking down the block.

Hilarious.

-Rudey

What a sicko!


If he keeps doing it, you should round up your neighbors and everyone can chase him down and beat him up - There was this guy exposing himself to these Catholic schoolgirls in Philly last year sometime, and they all got sick of it and chased after him. These two guys caught him and held him down and the girls took turns hitting and kicking him. The girls ended up getting commended from the police department for their actions. :)

EWWW indeed. You did the right thing by reporting it. Some people are just sick!

I actually just called the NYC Sex Crimes Hotline and spoke with a very nice, understanding FEMALE officer. It is interesting to note that the MALE officers I met with both times didn't tell me about this number. She is going to speak with the actual head of the precinct and see about putting female plain clothed officers in the neighborhood during the hours this is occuring. She took down my name and # and gave me her name and # to contact if anything else takes place. I also just printed up fliers at work which I am going to put around the neighborhood and in the local businesses. It is really scary because this could be a precursor for a rapist and the officer was very understanding about this. I am very annoyed because unless something actually happens, nothing will probably occur. And it sucks that the male officers really had no reaction towards my complaints.

I'm not familiar with the laws in your state, but that sounds like lazy ass police officers to me. Do they only charge murderers and rapists who are actually caught in the act?

I don't know what it is but it doesn't seem like effective follow up to me. I think that many police officers here in NYC feel that unless something actually happens, what do you expect them to do about it? I was very angry because this morning, they didn't come to my house, I had to call 911 again and they informed me that the officers were outside. When I went to speak to them, they didn't get out of the car, nothing. It was a very uncomfortable feeling and made me feel like they thought I was crazy or something if you know what I am saying? I had an incident happen over a year ago where someone looked in my window and took pictures (maybe the same guy, who knows) but at least the officers actually came to my door and took interest in the incident. Now I can understand that maybe they were still scoping out the neighborhood to see if they could see anything (perhaps this has been reported before) but I am still angry because it was like, well, if you see him again, give us a call, and otherwise, there isn't much we can do. I mean what does it take, someone getting raped and killed before anything can happen? I know that is an extreme comment, but you would think the intelligent thing to do would be to take down information from the reporter of an incident like this again so in the event it happens again, at least there is a witness that can identify the guy. I am just venting but stuff like this makes me really really angry.

Maybe you can bring a camera the next time you walk your dog so the cops have a picture of the guy?

That's EXACTLY what I was about the suggest!! XOMichelle has got it right....take a camera in a coat pocket and whip it out when he decides to do the same and snap off a couple of him in the act. Then, if he decides to get mad and come after you, just kick him where it counts since it will probably still be half hanging out anyway. Either that or start yelling "FIRE!!!!! FIRE!!!!!"

I don't take that crap from anybody!!

Good luck!

.....Kelly :)

You should be flattered that he thinks you're hot enough to jerk off to.

I know some of you get kicks out of being humorous :rolleyes: and irreverent on this site, but these comments show what insensitive assholes you really are. I cannot believe you would even TYPE such a thing after reading winney's comments. Do you understand even the most BASIC things about sex crimes? Do you know that they are rarely, if ever, about sex, but about power instead? Do you know that there is nothing remotely funny about being violated?

Moderates, please excuse the expletive above. I rarely use those terms in real life, and never type them out, but #$@$ would not do justice to how their comments made me feel.

By writing about my experience I knew I was taking a chance with getting comments like that and I can't explain what something like this feels like unless it actually happens to you. I think that is why sex crimes are never taken seriously a lot of the time because unless you actually have gone through the experience, so many people are quick to make insensitive comments. I know I have in the past and I feel horrible about that now. It is really scary because so many of us are naive to things like this. I actually was just flyering my neighborhood with BEWARE signs and an older woman said to me "Oh sweetie, I am sorry you got scared but that stuff happens all the time in my country, (she was from Russia) and it is just the men looking to feel good, they will never hurt you". UMMMMM, HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLO?! What about rapists who are caught and their initial behaviors were jerking off in public? I know of a sex offender who was incarcerated for rape and released who recently got into trouble because he locked himself in his female therapist's office and began jerking off. I hope that I can at least help one person to be protected from something like this happening. The camera idea was excellent. I just put it next to my mace so I know to carry it with me in the morning.

get some of that pepper spray that shoots really far and zap his ass. Can you train your dog to attack?

Sick balls, spike!

Spray his genitals with the pepper spray it should burn.

I was going to mention the camera idea also, I think everyone that thought of that one should geta gold star.

Yeah he showed her he was beating off. So what?? It happens all the time in NYC. It happened to me on the fricking G train during rush hour in the morning. And you know what's funnier? People telling her to go take pictures of him. Hey why not just hand him a knife.

I still think it's funny. I thought it was then and so would most people. I'm sorry you don't see the humor in it and choose to tell me it's about power.

-Rudey

I wonder if your dog is scarred for life now.

I was just thinking about pepper spray before i got to glitterkittys post....can you use that on him legally for doing what he is doing since in reality it is an attack?

I think so, since what he's doing is considered sexual assualt.

Hey everyone who has been supportive :D The neighborhood is in a complete buzz about what happened, I've never seen everyone talking so much. A lot of the guys who I told about it as well have been very supportive and said they are going to leave their windows open to keep a look out for all the females in the neighborhood, and so if anyone yells, there will be witnesses. It is really great to see how people come together in a situation like this. The guy I am dating also spoke with his dad who is really high up in the NYPD in Brooklyn and he has made a couple of phone calls to try to get more of a police prescence in the neighborhood. It was still creepy last night and this morning going out there to walk the dog but I stayed in my front yard this time and carried the mace with me. Again, thanks again to all of you who have been supportive and understanding.

Dirty!

So glad you are finally working everything out. It's good to hear how your neighborhood is being so supportive and you are really following up on the issue. A lot of people will be saved that little horrific moment.

You know what? I'm all for women's rights and all that crap, but WELCOME TO THE CITY.

I see guys wacking it on the bus, I see guys wacking in by my dumpster, I see guys wacking it outside the homeless shelter - and I just laugh and walk on by.

Awesome! The only flaw is he probably got off on it.

I did laugh when I read the first post (I think it was the fact that walking the dog was included) but this is disgusting and no one should have to put up with it. Hopefully you can get some extra cops in to (ugh) catch him in the act.

You know, the cops did ask several questions about what kind of dog I have and all that, which I found to be quite interesting if you know where I am going..............

Ummm, I think sex crimes happen OUTSIDE of the city so I don't buy that crap when people say "Oh you live in the city this happens all the time there". Does none of this go on in the country or suburbs? Wake up!!!!!! And by the way to all of you "laughing" will you feel the same way if you or someone you care about is assaulted?

Yes, this kind of stuff happens everywhere. But it happens in the city, a lot. When you have more people squeezed into a smaller place, it gets harder to avoid the wierdos. If you're not prepared to deal with the freak of the week, the city might not be the best place for you.

I really have a hard time with this being called a "sex crime". Is it disgusting? Yes. Is it a warning sign of problem behaviour to follow? Possibly. Is it unfortunate you were subjected to it? Of course. But should the guy be charged with a "sex crime"? No. Public Indecency, Lewd Behaviour, sure.

I'll admit it, I would laugh. And like GP, I see it quite frequently. I'd prefer not to, but I consider that part of the deal when I live in a metropolitan area, just like having bums harrass me for money and drunk guys stumbling around in the park at 9:30am.

I lived in the suburbs for 18 years. I lived in a TTT cowtown for two years. I've lived in the city for two years. I have NEVER seen anyone wacking it in public outside of the city except for some fraternity hazing at cowtown.

To me a sex crime is rape, incest, giving of GHB - this is indecent exposure or public indecency.

Edit: Ginger and I said pretty much the same thing but I'm leaving this here anyway because I think it needs to be said. Do you think every high school girl who flashes people should be charged with a sex crime too?

Whether or not he should be charged with a sex crime. I don't know. But he should definitly be charged with something. I don't know what the law in NYC is.
Just because someone lives in a city does not mean they have to put up with people like this.
I've lived in the city all my life. My house has been broken into twice. My unmentionables touched. Yeah it's a violation. But how many times do robberies happen. The cops told us they get about 80 calls a day like this. They rarely ever catch anyone. But does that mean I should let it slide? Hell no.
She did the right thing by calling the cops and filing a report.

Thank you. I find it interesting that the people who think it's "funny" have yet to reply to my initial question about how they would feel personally if they or someone they care about was in this situation or a worse off situation as a result of something that could be prevented by reporting it. It is disgusting how a handful of people continue to make a mockery of serious issues.

Actually, I think you'll see that we did. We do see this. We are in this situation almost every day. It happens to us too. I just don't feel the need to act like the sky is falling because of it.

I have no problem with reporting it... that's fine. Like others have said, it could be a predictor of more serious issues. Or it could just be some guy that was stoned out of his mind and forgot to wait to get home until he pulled it out. But personally I would prefer to have the police working on solving the murders/rapes/robberies that are going on rather than chasing down some guy who may or may not have been trying to embarass you.

You want some answers, whiney? I'll give you some answers.

1) I'm in that situation on a frequent enough basis. I find it funny. I live in a bad neighborhood and I accept that I am going to see men whipping out their member from time to time. I don't feel threatened by it because my university has one of the best public safety departments in the world.

2) People I care about are often in that situation, since they live in the same bad neighborhood that I do. Men at Marquette have been whipping it out since before my mom went there, and they did it when she went there, and they continue to do it after she graduated. I bet they'll continue to do it after I graduate as well.

3) I was in the room at a university across the city when a man broke down the door and attempted to rape one of my friends. That wasn't funny and he was charged with sexual assault, because that was sexual assault.

4) This could not have been prevented by reporting it. Why? We'll use logic.

a) If an event was reported, the event occured. (We'll assume you aren't a pathololigcal liar)
b) If the event occured, it was not prevented.
c) If an event was reported, it was not prevented.

Does that makes sense to you? I think Rob or Rudey could have done a better job.


The only thing I'm making a mockery of is your using GC as a blog. I really don't care about what happens to the majority of the people on this site on a day to day basis.

Then put her on ignore so you don't have to read her tons o' posts. It's really easy. Don't make me go all Coronet Instructional Films on you.

This happened to me once when I was 13 or 14. It never happened to me as an adult, but it has happened to my sister numerous times. It is pretty awful, and it is a crime. I am usually on the side of the police, but the ones who didn't take it seriously weren't doing their job properly. When my sister reported her incident, the officers were quite helpful and sensitive about the situation. I hope that they find this pervert and throw the book at him. It's good that you have alerted your neighbors about the situation.

When did a man masturbating in public become funny? I just don't get the joke. If you see this on a regular basis in your respective neighborhoods, I suggest that you report it to the police. It's a quality of life issue as well as a potential safety issue.

Dudes, is Milwaukee the outdoor masturbating capitol of the world? I spent years in Chicago and the worst I ever saw was someone peeing off the el or on my building. I don't agree that people should laugh and get over it -- personally, I wouldn't feel threatened by it, but I should be able to walk down the street without having to see it.

Personally, I would feel violated if it were to happen to me. I'm sure it's a very uncomfortable and awkward feeling.

I hope that the police get this guy.

ETA:
Do any of your neighbors get up as early in the morning as you? If you don't feel safe walking your dog with this guy around, maybe one of them can escort you.

Humour is in the eye of the beholder. I don't think that me finding something funny - my laughter that doesn't affect anyone -is offensive. I didn't come on here making fun of anyone. If anyone is upset, that is fine but I had no remarks or interactions to cause those feelings and my intent wasn't to hurt feelings. It's all in the intent folks. Move on.

And again, why isn't anyone jumping on people's back for telling winney to go find this guy? That's putting someone in harm's way. But I guess me finding something funny - something I've personally experience probably around 1998 on the G train heading towards Brooklyn - is much more awful than someone telling this girl to put herself in danger.

-Rudey

So how is the traumatized puppy doing?