Personality and Greek Life
 

At a previous school, I was in a sorority and it wasn't the best experience. The other members weren't bad people; it just wasn't a good fit for me.

It seems like some personalities are more compatible with Greek life than others. This isn't a slam, just a neutral statement. For example, there was one thread that talked about what exactly members were going to wear for Rush (and in some cases, how they had to decorate their rooms). To me, this seems strange - why would people want to expend time and money on something like this? To many GC'ers, it probably makes perfect sense.

Would it be good to help PNMs understand up front whether Greek life really is for them? It seems like there are a number of members and pledges who end up dropping, so I'm not alone. For example, if you'd resent mandatory meetings or occasionally being told how to dress, sorority life may not be for you.

Re: Personality and Greek Life
 

I agree that is why we set up our own, there is no you have to wear this and that (this happens alot during pledging) and rules. Some greeks demand to meet everyday. I am too busy with my schoolwork, internship and family life. I was like no thanks and it was funny how when you depledge or drop, they become two faced and act like they dont know you / or better than you. That is why I believe freshmen shouldnt be allowed to pledge so they can observe, listen and see the greek actions. IF there is a group that volunteers alot and is friendly to everyone and seems to be nice and doesnt pressure you to join, then that would get them more interested than just strutting around wearing letters and acting like those who arent are losers.....

I don't think that's so much a matter of personality types as it is differences in Greek systems at different colleges. I think myself and a LOT of the Greeks I knew, not just my sisters, would not have been Greek at someplace like Mizzou or LSU - we just had a more laid back atmosphere in general. We didn't have matching ANYTHING for rush, sections at football games or serenading. I don't think I would have been comfortable living in a house with 60 girls or having a 200 person hapter. On the other side of the coin I'm sure there's people on here from larger chapters that can't imagine our tiny houses or pretty much knowing everyone in the Greek system.

As we say often on here - not better or worse - just different. This is one of the reasons I support deferred rush though - so you can see Greek life actually operating. When you're just out of high school it's hard to imagine what it will be like day by day, unless you know someone who's in it, and even then it's just a glimpse.

Yes, the school had the traditional fall rush, and I was a freshman. It seems like it's also possible to get so preoccupied with whether your first-choice house will want you that you can overlook the question of whether it's a good idea in the first place. If you get in, but it turns out to be a mismatch, well, you're out time and money and it's possible that someone else who may have been a better fit was passed over for that slot.

In my case, there really were some fundamental differences. One concern about PNM's during Rush was "questionable morals." This always seemed to translate to "sexually promiscuous" - it was never used in the context of, say, academic dishonesty. This disturbed me because I'd been taught that in the New Testaments, Jesus came down harder on hypocrisy than He did on sexual sins. (For example, with the adulteress, he said, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.")

As appalling as it might sound to people on GC, I wouldn't have really thought of the badge, ritual, etc. as "sacred." It seems fair to say that members long ago put some thought and effort into them, and they've been shared by many women in each sorority since then. But realistically, a lot of the open mottoes seem like ... well, things that were composed by young women during the Victorian era. Nothing wrong with that, just nothing I'd consider religiously significant either. So I think my personality, like Q on Star Trek, is probably too iconoclastic for Greek Life.

You know, Jesus also said it was HIS job to judge others. You know " Judge NOT lest ye be judged."

I pretty much agreed with most of what you said until this part. I don't consider anything related to my organization to be sacred, or religiously significant -- and really, I didn't think that anybody else did either. My badge and ritual are special to me, but I wouldn't call it sacred, but then, I'm not religious.

From Webster's

Main Entry: sa·cred
Pronunciation: 'sA-kr&d
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English, from past participle of sacren to consecrate, from Old French sacrer, from Latin sacrare, from sacr-, sacer sacred; akin to Latin sancire to make sacred, Hittite saklAi- rite
1 a : dedicated or set apart for the service or worship of a deity <a tree sacred to the gods> b : devoted exclusively to one service or use (as of a person or purpose) <a fund sacred to charity>
2 a : worthy of religious veneration : HOLY b : entitled to reverence and respect
3 : of or relating to religion : not secular or profane <sacred music>
4 archaic : ACCURSED
5 a : UNASSAILABLE, INVIOLABLE b : highly valued and important <a sacred responsibility>


"Sacred" doesn't always mean relgious...and while I can't speak for all orgs, because most have secret ritual, but it doesn't mean we "worship" our badges, letters, etc...it means we respect them and hold them in high regard...and there are many soroites that were founded on Christian principles.

Fair enough. I didn't really mean to imply that anyone in the sorority worshipped badges; I just meant that some things had a lot more significance to other members than they did to me. So my choice of words probably wasn't very good.

(Link deleted)
Note: OK, it sounds like the entry was upsetting to some people, so I deleted the link and locked it. It was essentially an essay about being part of a system that didn't make sense to me. The KDs were probably some of the nicest people in that campus's Greek system, but the situation still didn't work and independent life seemed to be a better fit. At the time I wrote the essay, I was at a school without a Greek system, so it didn't seem important to change the names of the organizations. In hindsight, it probably would have been a good idea to do so before posting on GC.

Well, assumed you knew we didn't worship our badges...it was just an example...I was trying to say that "sacred" is a fine choice of words for our ritual/badge/letters.

I guess, if you're looking for advice about your situation...there's no reason why you couldn't try rushing at your new school and if it's not for you, then maybe you're right and Greek life in general is not for you...and you haven't lost anything by trying again.

I do know more then one girl who's dropped rush/pledging because she decided that the "rules" weren't for her. We had one drop from ASA because of it...in the end, we all wished her good luck and most of us still at least said "hi" when we saw her on campus.

To be very honest, I wasn't, though I appreciate your good intentions. My point was that some people are incompatible with Greek life and I think I'm one of them. Therefore, even if was an option, going back through Rush again wouldn't have been a good idea. The whole thing happened a while ago, and I'm on GC primarily because of curiousity, not any desire to join another GLO.

LOL

But are you really picky about this? Do the bras have to be a certain color? Would it be unsisterly if the shorts didn't have the letters sewn across the butt?

Damn, mine's made out of thongs and those shorts with the letters across the butt...

LOL...you were reading my mind

Back when I was still living in the sorority house, I'd sometimes drape a towel over my head after washing my hair. Once, someone asked why I had a towel on my head and I said I was practicing to be a nun. They didn't think this was at all funny.

In all due respect JocelynC, that's exactly what we do during rush-judge judge judge. So let's not get into a scripture quoting debate about his. The original poster is merely stating her feelings and experiences and has not slammed greek life at all. She has some good points. It may not be for everyone and in the frenzy to get the bestest new member class eva! maybe we should spend just a tad more time letting them know what is expected up front. They are just suggestions:)

Thanks! Another thing that's jumped out at me is that recruitment seems fallible and often rather superficial. I see anecdotes that criticize PNMs for things that seem fairly minor - e.g., underdressing for events. Do members get any training in spotting more serious red flags? For example, a vindictive personality or a substance abuse problem could be a much bigger problem than overly casual dress.

While a vindictive personality might come out during rush, the only way you're going to be able to spot someone with a substance abuse problem is if you see them slammed at the bar every night after rush ends, since rush is a dry event. Even if a girl discusses alcohol at rush (which I'm pretty sure is a no-no most places), it's impossible to tell if someone has a drinking problem from just talking to them.

I would encourage anyone who is interested in greek life to research and ask questions PRIOR to seeking membership. All this de-pledging, leaving chapters madness doesn't make sense to me. Know what you are getting into. Everything will NOT be peaches and cream but if you are serious it can be a rewarding experience. I agree that it takes a particular type of person to join our organizatons but you have to have some sort of understanding of who you are before you come to me seeking membership. Joing XYZ will not always solve/increase your [insert issue here]. JMHO.

Re: Re: Personality and Greek Life
 

To be fair though, sometimes people who drop are the same way, like they're better than your org. or your org. is not worthy of their time...or they avoid you during classes or walking around campus because it's AWKWARD :( especially if you went through the process together and are really into your org. or if you were only beginning to be close to that member...

_Q_, I think you have made some very valid observations. Also, thank you for sharing your thoughts with us without pointing fingers or expressing anger. An awful lot of people come here just to BASH Greeks, and I'm glad to see someone share their thoughts without insulting. :)

And, I do not consider Ritual to be "sacred" or "religious". However, I can see how, to some, this might seem this way. I've known of Greeks resigning from their GLO because they felt it had spiritual connotations. Honestly, while I do not agree, I can respect that. Afterall, the Bible DOES teach that if you feel something is wrong, then it IS wrong for YOU to do it. That doesn't mean it is wrong for others. :)

I hope some of this made sense. Also, check your PMs. :)

Well, as I said in a previous post, curiousity is the main reason I'm here. (To be very honest, I probably won't be around that long - nothing against GC members, it's just that some other random topic will probably spark my interest and I'll move on.) While I'm here, it seems reasonable to ask questions, as long as I avoid bashing people or trolling.

You said, "You know if you belong or not." Is that always true? As an adult, I can look back with 20/20 hindsight and say, "No way," but for an 18-year-old caught up in the excitement of rush, it may be considerably less clear.

I agree that some problems are hard to spot. However, it might be possible to ask questions that could elicit some meaningful information. For example, how does a PNM deal with stress or conflict? Is she concerned about breaking the law? Does she seem to have healthy relationships with other people?

Why did KD put you on national probation?

And why didn't you post this under your original username?

33girl, I PM'ed you. Essentially, my original username may have been misleading since I'm not really part of a sorority any more. One user expressed concerns about this, so I agreed to use something else. As far as the National Probation, nothing that exciting - just repeated conflicts.

I pmed you back. :)

No it's not for everyone. And I completley agree with what TheEpitome1920 said. Do your research, ask questions and be thoroughly informed before you decide all the while realizing it's not always going to be a happy sappy Lifetime movie. I know formal recruitment can be difficult--which is part of the reason the NPC is restructuring recruitment to better fit the styles of individual campuses.

Conversely, there are plenty of people out there who never thought they would join a GLO but they tried and did and found they loved it. It's always a different experience for everyone and you can't expect for others to have the same thoughts and feelings on it as you do. (general you)

**DITTO** ISUKAPPA!

When I started a Local, the reason that many joined as it was something new, not eh old line Greeks on Campus.

These mostly were dyed in the wool GDIs.

It seems that Cooky Cutting seems to be the average thought here. It is not but to a certain degree it is. Why, because an Organization wants to put up a solid Front for New Possibles!

Show solidarity.

Do you as a Soroity Memeber want to show your Sisters off in Blue Jeans, Shorts, tank tops or dress nicely?

Look and dress like a slob, that is what you get if anyone!:p

Remember, most young people are their because they want to be.

It cost a lot to go to College and then add on Greek Dues and other items.

It boils down to what you get out of joining and paying your money for.

Being a Member of a Greek Organization is for life mot 4-5 years.

I just had contacts from Two Of My Chapter Brothers who notified me and got them on the eamil listing to keep them updated.

They saw This in our Int. Magazine.

They are now listed and will be updated ! Can you say the same?

I do thank you for changing your username, however you did neglect to tell me that you were put on National Probation. You could've been honest with me.

One does not get put on NP for just repeated "conflicts" unless conflicts are fights or something. You get put on for not making grades, not meeting financial obligations, or problematic behavior.

What qualifies as problematic behavior? I'm sure that could be interpreted quite broadly.

I don't remember the exact terminology, that's why I just phrased it that way. I'm sure it's similar to all the other NPC groups.

Yes, it's water on the bridge, but the way it's said makes it seem like NP is just something casual, and that's not the case. Who's trying to punish anyone? I'm upset as well because this person wasn't really truthful with me.

I think that Q has made some interesting points. Sorority life is not for everyone. I'm sorry that being in a sorority didn't work out for you, Q.

Very very true.

Well, realistically, I was placed on NP and then resigned rather than trying to return. So telling you that I was initiated and then left seems quite accurate. At the time we PM'ed, I didn't feel like talking about the NP. However, I've since changed my mind. Had I been interested in deceiving you, it wouldn't really have made sense for me to post about it on a widely read forum.

As other posters have pointed out, "behavioral issues" is a rather large bucket, and the term "repeated conflicts" seems like it could reasonably fit into it. YMMV