People whose parents pay for everything
 

OK my last thread got me to thinking about this subject. Now I have been lucky and have had my parents help me out a lot in getting to where I am today, but I am by no means spoiled and they have never bought me a brand new car or anything like that. How do you all feel about this sujbect though? I think it is bad that a lot of people today grow up not knowing what it is like to want things because it makes them appreciate things less in our society. Also in my work I have found that "rich" people can be even more screwed up then the really poor people I work with. I don't personally know too many people that fit this mold, thankfully. Even in undergrad, our sorority was not known to live up to this "stereotype" as I would say the majority of the girls worked 1 and even 2 jobs, and were on a lot of financial aid or scholarships (I also went to a "state" school too in undergrad and not a private school so I am sure that makes a big difference). I guess what I am trying to say is that money is not everything. It is nice and I would love to have more of it but I think you can be happier with "just the basics". Any thoughts? (Please no wise ass or condescending remarks thank you). Also if you "fit the mold of the spoiled rich person" how do you deal with people's sometimes snide remarks or stereotypical thoughts towards you?

I am spoiled-by myself (ok, and before he died, Grandpa, but that's what Grandpas are for!). I did go to Catholic High School that my parents paid for, but everything else~clothes, shoes, school supplies, shampoo/condtioner, deoderant, spending money for movies, etc... were all up to me as soon as I got a job (which was actually when I was 13, cleaning my mom's office buildeing once a week). When I was a Jr/Sr in high school, I worked hard, lots of hours to spoil myself. Yes, I had alot of stuff/went out all the time, but it was with money I earned.

I don't care if you're spoilt - just don't act ungrateful or snobbish about it. I have a friend who I'm pretty sure has gotten anything she ever asked for, but she is so down-to-earth and tactful, that the fact she has a lot of stuff paid for is never an issue.

that's cool that your parents are able to offer to help your friends that need financial help. i would like to be able to do this one day. i am more for doing that that donating money to some charity i don't even know where my $$$ are going to. my school does this with scholarships and i think it is a neat idea.

At first i thought this was going to be a slam by a certain person on these threads , but I have been very blessed and grateful in life along with my brother with what my parents have given and have helped us with. My grandparents also by settling us up financially for our lives and the lives of our children. Yes i have things and been given things most ppl my age are still trying to obtain ,and yes i didn't work hard to obtain those things, but i also believe in helping those who need help and i would give the shirt off my back to someone i knew who needs it.

Some ppl who misinterept things on here(GC) think i am spoiled pampered princess and i am not in any way! I have just been very very blessed with what i was given ...i thank God everyday for what i have! I also thank God for not having a student loan!

I work very hard for what i get in life now. i make a salary like everyone and have a budget of what i can and cannot spend. Yes i would like to go to convention but the cost is outside my means and i think it is more important my child has things he needs before my own needs. My parents use to pay for my utilities and car payments and car insurance and pay for health insurance as well as pay my credit card bills... but i am an adult and i pay for those things now because i was given an education to learn to take care of myself with a good job.

they have given me something i am very proud of and will boast about .....they instilled in me good morals and values and the ideology of don't bite off more than you can chew and dont spend outside your means.

My parents... yeah.
My dad and I get into a fight... my mom gives me money.
I really dont care if they give me some support or if I have loans- which is why half the time I've been in school they've paid and the other half I've gotten loans.
I work and pay my bills, I take loans. If they want to help me I wont turn it down but I in no way expect or demand them to help me out.

I would have in no way ever considered myself spoiled or rich, but my parents did pay for everything. I always had a job and I would use that money for stuff that Mom and Dad wouldn't pay for (like going to the bars, lots of extra clothes, etc). I am greatful everyday for what they have taught me and that they helped me along the way. I also know that when they get older the tables may be turned and I'll need to help them. In fact they are driving from California to Missouri in August and I don't want them driving their car (it is a piece of crap), so my husband and I are renting them a car to take on their 6 week vacation.

Re: People whose parents pay for everything
 

This can cut both ways. There are some people who know what it's like to want things and so decide that there's a better way to get them-- like by theft or by selling drugs to make money.

There are some who are comfortable with where they are, some who have more than they need and decide to spend spend spend, and there are those who don't have what they need. And there are those within each category who feel that they know what it's like to want things. Someone who is middle class might feel that they "need" the best kind of clothes or best car to fit in with their friends.

I'm an only child who has been very lucky. Before my senior year of college, I got a new car since mom's old one was almost dead. The car is 10 years old now. My parents saved for my college with bank savings as well as with mutual funds, which was another blessing. Those paid for my grad school tuition and room and board. The balance, which we rolled over to my custody at age 23, eventually became my and my husband's down payment for our townhouse.

When I got out of school, engaged, I *could not* live with my fiance. So I got a decent apartment, and they paid my rent and car insurance, and I paid for the rest. I had a year of subbing and temping jobs before getting a teacher's aide job, because there were too many candidates for English.

When I landed a library one-year-only position, they paid for grad school. They are paying for my husband's MLIS as well. Interesting fact: you can donate up to $10,000 per year, to someone, tax-free to them. They're both retired, earning pensions, with new jobs that earn them additional salary. They figure we're getting our inheritance early.

My mom also helped out her divorced sister, who was $50,000 in debt, by going 50-50 on the 35% down payment they needed to buy my aunt a townhouse. She's earning equity, and my aunt had lower payments (which mom has actually been paying), allowing my aunt to actually pay off her credit card debts and avoid having to go into bankruptcy.

I learned, and continue to learn, a great deal about money management from my parents. I max out my and my husband's IRAs every year. We pay off our credit cards *every single month*. We donate a decent sum to our church, which we're increasing every year. And we are keeping track of how much my parents have paid for grad school. It kind of keeps us humble.

So how do I deal with this? Very carefully. I don't tell a lot of people that my parents have done so much for me. I get a little aggravated by people who say "you didn't earn it" because I worked hard for my grades to get my scholarships, and I worked hard in school to earn a higher salary for myself. There's a woman at work whose husband lost his job, with two kids in middle and high school, who is on reserve duty. Luckily, their house is paid off. I don't know how I'd handle that. I try not to talk about money in front of her, because I don't want to make her feel any worse off.

We're not yet financially ready to move to a bigger house and start a family, though we're getting close, and that's something that I "want" very much. And I plan on buying a house that's within our means, so that I can have some left over to help our kids get a solid start in the world.

What? Nobody else got $100,000 on their graduation?

-Rudey
--How about a sugar plantation?

OK I hate to talk about myself. When I was in HS I was a spoiled bit**. I hung out with the "popular" people, went to all the parties, talked about people, ect, and was someone I later hated.

Now I will say I was spoiled badly. I got the new car in HS, had clothes anytime I wanted something new, had an allowance, and never had a job.

When I came to college I got a reality check. I learned I wasnt the shi* and I needed to change my attitude. I am so glad I did cause I hate who I was in HS and how I acted now that I look back. That being said, in college, my parents paid for my school, insurance, rent, sorority dues, cell phone bill, I even had a credit card that went to them to pay. I did finally get a job which my mom was against so Id have spending money, but I am so glad I did. It taught me some responsibility. I am greatful that they did that for me. I was fortunate to get a very nice trust fund from my dad, but we dont even speak much and after all he did to my mom and me while I grew up, I feel like its the least he could do. He never offered to pay for my private school or even college when I went so its nice to have this money now when I need to buy a home or something.

I am now married and in charge of everything. Ill admit it scared me a ton and worried me a lot when I was to be the adult cause I never realized exactly how much things were. Thankfully I dont have a student loan to pay and I wills tart to pay my car insurance in Aug but my mom sat me down and showed me to budget and such so even if I think the utility bills are huge, I have adjusted well.

I am glad my parents helped me as much as they did and I love that I can ask if I ever need any help and they will, but I feel like its time I do things on my own and hopefully oneday Ill be able to pay them back for all they have done for me. I am very apprecitive of all they did. :)

i'm not afraid to say that i'm spoiled......i drive a new car, my parents support me, and i own my own townhouse.

but there's a difference between being a spoiled brat and just being spoiled. i know and acknowledge that i have parents (who are well off) that spoil me but they do it because they both grew up very poor and they want the best for me and my brother. also, when i was younger, my family didn't have the kind of money we have now and i've seen my parents struggle. i'm appreciative of what my parents give me but i know that this won't last forever. i don't want to depend on them for the rest of my life and they know that too. in a way, my parents live through me and my brother. my parents never went to college....they just didn't have the money to. So when they see me and my younger brother in college and me looking at going to grad school after i graduate, they know that they're doing something right. my parents aren't afraid to put their foot down. i have a part time job so its not like i'm sitting on my ass all day.

i have friends who are in the same boat as me but i also have many friends who aren't as lucky as me and they keep me grounded. what disappoints me is when people judge me because of what my parents do for me because i feel like my parents do this voluntarily.....if they really wanted to, they could have told me i was on my own. now i dont know if i could 100% handle that but i know i would make the best of it.

i respect people who support themselves completely while in school......one of my best friends does that and i have so much respect for her. she's one of the hardest working people i've ever met.

If my parents could have helped me out financially, they would have. As it was, I knew we didn't have much so I never asked for anything. It wasn't bad or good that I paid my own way through school (with the help of scholarships, grants and loans), that's just the way it was. When my sister (who is 7 years younger than I am) got to college, my parents were able to help her out, and I don't begrudge her that at all.

I can see right now that, as far as my daughters are concerned, I can't always differentiate between what they need and what they want. Or what I want for them. My husband provides us with an incredibly comfortable lifestyle and sometimes I still feel like a kid in a candy store. "I can get this??? Really?? No Kidding???" So I can't really tell if I'm spoiling them or not. As I write this, I'm in Maine staying with friends while my girls are at a sleep-away tennis camp up here. The cost between the two of them is a good bit more than my first year's tuition at Pitt. So, I guess some folks would think that I'm spoiling them. Also, come high school, I don't want them to ever have to choose between being in the class play or keeping their job at Wendy's. Or sweating if the grant is going to come through before the next semester's tuition is due in college.

I do believe, however, that just because you want to make sure your children are well provided for, it doesn't necessarily make them spoiled. My girls are polite and have wonderful manners. They are also compassionate and kind. Much more so than I am, to tell you the truth! :D

The people who come on here and "admit" to being spoiled by their parents don't really have to explain themselves. Some parents are able to give more than others; that's just life. I've known plenty of good people who had the world handed to them on a silver platter and I've known shiftless bums who had to work their butts off for whatever little they had. It's definitely more about the attitude instilled by the parents than the thickness of their wallet.

i get told alot that i am spoiled. cause my parents pay for school and bought me several cars in the last few years. they pay for car insurance and some maintenance. i pay for my cell phone, the cable bill, my car radio (it is a satellite radio that i have to pay every three months) and many other necessities. it seriously adds up and i work with a tight budget.
but the same people will also tell you that i am a heck of a worker. i take my jobs so seriously. for several months, i was working 56 hours a week. why? i didnt have to. i just wanted to. quite frankly, i work three times harder than my co workers. they ended up taking me for granted by throwing so much work on me cause they knew that i would do it. it stressed me out a lot. so now i work a few hours a day at my house with my mom. it is so much easier for me to work for my parents cause there is no pressure. and i get a lot of perks!

i have a great life with an amazing house to live in and i get to have nice things.
i HATE when people say that i am lazy or ungrateful because i am fortunate. i work hard- not to prove something but because i take pride in it.

i treat other people with respect. and i treat myself with respect. as for me, because my parents and God blessed me with nice things, i appreciate myself more. and i know that i am thankful for it. by NO means, did i have an easy life. it was actually very rough. by in hindsight, i am thankful for what i had and have now.

My parents were divorced. They took turns paying my tuition, and I worked and paid for pretty much everything else.

Mrs. DeltAlum is quite a story, though. Her father owned a farm and put all four of his kids through college, including one through a Masters and another through Law school on an extremely tight budget. Quite an accomplishment. But his kids appreciated it. The day I met Mrs. DA, I hung around after a speech class and asked her if I could take her to dinner. She refused because she felt that her dad had worked so hard to make the money to pay for her schooling, including room and board, that skipping a meal in the dorm would be a waste of his money.

Thankfully, she changed her mind about the dinner.

I can't say that my parents paid for everything, and to be honest, I'm extremely proud that I can say that.

When I turned 16 years old, yes, my parents bought me my first car, however, I paid for my insurance and also got a job. When I graduated HS, my parents gave me a choice.....live on campus or get a new car (my first car was a major POS). I chose to get the car since in the long run it would take me farther, so we began car hunting. My parents put down $2000 for a down payment and from then on....I was on my own.

It was a rule in my family that the first two years of college are taken care of and then you have to pay the rest. Well I joined DG my first semester and picked up more hours at work because I had just added ANOTHER added expense to myself besides a car pymt, insurance, and cell phone. But because of DG, I began to recieve scholarships that allowed my parents to continue to pay throughout my college career because in the large spectrum of things, they paid more for my brother to go to a 2 yr tech school then they did for me to be in school for 5 years at a university.
Anyways.....my point is.....my parents didn't pay for everything but did what they could. Throughout college, I paid for all my bills (car pymt, insurance, DG dues and rent, cell, credit cards, etc) and did it with hardwork and time management. I now know the true meaning of responsibility and allowed myself to keep myself from being in debt.....

If I am considered any type of spoiled, I would say that I am spoiled because my parents did what they could for my brother and I, not for them doing everything for me. Sometimes, I think people take their parents for granted. Yes if they are willing to do something for you, let them. But it shouldn't be an expectation.

No sugar plantation but I plan to buy back one of the farms my family owned when I was younger.

My friend did actually get one of his family sugar plantations in South America. I would live a good life with my own sugar plantation.

-Rudey
--I have no clue whatsoever what I would do with a sugar plantation now that I think about it.

I guess I'm spoiled... i dunno.. I've never had it any other way.

I'm an only child, never done dishes or laundry or chores.. I get allowance for cleaning my room still... they bought my cars, pay gas, food, etc...

I just took over cellphone payments and I'll be paying for everything except: tuition, housing (1st year only), books, insurance, car payments...

I don't get money whenever I want it unless its for food or somethin', and I've had a job and saved for what I've wanted all of my life...

I'm very grateful I've had it so easy, though I think life in the near future would probably be much easier if I had learned the many values to be learned from not being spoiled...

Nope.

Had a job since I was 16, and paid for everything that I needed. It pisses my mom off that I don't ask for money (which I won't). I try not to get loans for school, but grants pay for the majority. I guess you can say, I spoil myself.


But I lie, my granny does spoil me at times....

You can count me as one of the spoiled I guess :rolleyes:

Parents gave me a family car at 16 then a brand new one for 18th Birthday and HS graduation, paid for private school tuition, then college tuition (plus I got loans to cover what they couldn't) also paid for all sorority stuff, rent, utilities, cell, gas, insurance, they gave me some of their credit cards - never had one independent of them until I graduated college...Then they paid for my wedding. After that I was on my own. I did have jobs starting at 16 to pay for extras. I didn't get an allowance my parents thought it was better to give me money based on what I was doing (ie movies here's $10-20). From my aspect this was better, I definitely had more spending money:D

Thing is I don't feel spoiled. I feel lucky, blessed, loved... My parents struggled to provide for me what they thought I needed and I don't think any of us regret the decisions that they made. I can only pray that when/if I have children I will be able to do the same (minus the loans) for my children.

Yeah my folks paid for my tuition for the last two years of college and my grandpa paid for my tuition for the first two years of college and bought me a brand new car in 2000. He's paid for a lot of other things. I'm not spoiled, I'm very blessed, as someone said earlier. However, I admit that I probably won't raise my kids the same way. I'll pay for their education, and maybe for a cheap used car, but not for anything else.

They've helped me out a lot. But for the most part, I've worked since age 16. Mostly full time while in HS and college. I paid my car payment, insurance, bills, etc.. Tuition wasn't a big issue. I paid it sometimes, they paid it sometimes. I was on scholarship for orchestra, so I didn't really have to pay much for tuition.

Now, I'll probably rack up about $70K in debts in law school (or that's what I'm estimating). And I won't get much financial support from the 'rents. That's okay though. Technically, I do get support because I work at my father's law practice. I'm learning a great deal and have been able to automate my position so much that if I had been a regular employee I'd have been cut back to part time.

My younger brothers on the other hand do not pay for their cars, tuition, insurance or anything like that and they never have. One of them hasn't had a single job since he started college and has amassed about a $3500 credit card bill on liquor and beer. The other is pretty responsible, and during the school year, he works as a substitute teacher -- no debts that I know of except for his recently purchased engagement ring.

Asian families (at least those in Canada) tend to finance at least part of their education, and entirely if they could. Because a university education is so important, especially to immigrant families (education is often the only way out of working in "small business", which is what many are doing right now). The parents would pay for school (and perhaps books as well. Room and board might not be included if there is a choice to go to school in town), even if Mom and Dad aren't owners of small laundromats or variety stores ("you don't want people to think we can't pay for school, do you?") so the money kids make in their part-time jobs can be for themselves. Luckily, tuition in Canada is way cheaper than in the US, despite us complaining that it is getting too high. Personally, I think it's important for parents to start planning their kids' education the minute they're born, so that they could have at least part of their tuition set by the time they graduate high school.

I feel pretty normal in this crowd. I was blessed to graduate from college debt free, always have a safety net in worst case scenario but have also worked steadily since the week I turned 16. They bought me cars but they tended to be used Japanese cars that were reliable but pretty basic transportation.

I'd also like to add that not everyone who spoils their kids are that wealthy and not all wealthy people spoil their kids. Some people are just a lot more frugal than others. My parents have gotten where they are today by saving, investing, living below their means and working their asses off. That afforded them the ability to help my brother and I a great deal. However, we've also had an excellent financial model to learn from over the years and a decent understanding of the value of money. In the end it's not about how much they gave you but what they taught you in the process.

My parents gave me my first car. It had been my mom's and it was paid off, so they gave it to me. They also paid for my college tuition. I paid for everything else.

I think that what my parents did is fine, and I plan to do the same for my kids someday. And as for me paying for my own gas and insurance and stuff... well that required me to get a part-time job. And that's a good thing, because you need to have some kind of work experience. I did have lots of friends in college who didn't work, and whose parents paid for everything. If they needed money, they'd call their parents and ask them to deposit money in their account. I personally don't agree with this because it doesn't teach any responsibility. When you have a job during school though, it gives you something to put on your resume, it can teach you how to budget, and it teaches you responsibility. It can really hurt you if you don't have those things when you venture out into the real world.

I have my dad's old car (and I love it...it will be mine until it no longer runs), I just graduated from undergrad debt free, and I dont have to worry about my expenses. I am working, I am very lucky to have a dad who works so hard to keep my mom, myself and my brother comfortable...and I take nothing for granted...especially since I almost lost my father a year and a half ago. I will have to assume a lot of financial responsibility for grad school and I'm prepared for that...I just hope that some day I can give something back to my parents for all they've done for me (I would LOVE to buy them a townhouse in D.C. or something...they miss living in their hometown).
-Maggie

"Townhouses in D.C." are expensive. I don't think you'll be able to make that dream happen but good luck in your future endeavors!

-Rudey

It sounds like your parents did a great job. I hope my children think the same way about Mr. KR and me when they grow up :)

Been paying my way since I turned 18, but as my own choice...

I'm kinda divided on the whole parents paying for everything, as I have seen both positive and negative examples of people who have had their parents foot the bill.

For example in my chapter the guy I can't stand has had his parents pay for everything, and he acts like a spoiled brat that is only happy "lording" his affluence over others... while two of the guys I'm closest to have also had their parents pay the bills... I guess it comes down to bounds and how involved the parents are... if they just give the kid cash whenever they ask, I have a problem with it... but if there are goals or boundries laid out (ie. marks) then I can't see a problem.

Well...I guess I was spoiled.

My parents bought my first two cars. I only had to buy one once I got a job because the one my parents bought me got stolen and totalled, which sucked.

They paid sorority dues, food, most clothing, all medical stuff, makeup, haircare, car insurance, tuition, school supplies, cell phone, etc.

The only things they did NOT pay for were: Spending money (my parents would occasionally slip me some money before I went out when I lived at home...rare) and my apartment rent...one year I lived in an apartment in the same city where my parents lived / where I went to college and they didn't see why they should pay (I don't blame them). They paid all the other expenses though, which was really nice.

***edited to add: This was all contingent upon stellar grades. If I had earned less than Dean's List, the gravy train would have derailed...***

NOW, since I just had to relocate back to TX sort of unexpectedly, I am living at home. However, I make my own money, so basically the only things that are free to me now are rent, food and cell phone (only 'cause we have a family plan). Absolutely everything else is out of my sweet little pocket. Plus, I help out quite a bit around the house...I'm not just pretending I am at a hotel! They are being awesome for letting me live here, since it will allow me to save enough to have a substantial cushion once I get my own apartment next year. The ex-husband got all the furniture, so I have to sort of re-establish...boo. (btw, I am still in my 20's)

Now my brother and sister are extra-spoiled. My parents pay all expenses for them. Even an apartment that my sister only lives in part-time...And they never even see their own credit card bills. They come straight here and my dad pays them...I know, life is tough...they are going to have a wake-up-call once they graduate!

Like Cake sings "Is it you or your parents in this income tax bracket?"

Its not bad to have parents who can afford nice things.

I'll buy my kids stuff one day, but they will either be in summer school in HS takign collegel level classes OR working and they will pay their own gas and insurance. In college, I will pay all their bills and tuition, but they will work 8 hours a week or volunteer 8 hours a week.

Whats sad is that I have a friend who is 26, has a BA in business and his parents STILL pay for his Tahoe, and Condo. I dotn understand how he can live with himself. When I go out to eat with my family, I dont even want them to cover me. I am always trying to kick in cash. My mom is always trying to give me cash. I could never take it. I am a grown ass man. I make my own money. I cant believe my buddy still has his folx pay his bills. How does he live with himself. How can you feel like an adult when moms and pops are still covering your bills? Thats some sad shit.

I pretty much pay for everything I need on my own. My tuition is covered by scholarships and a small loan. When I live at school, I pay my rent, utilities, groceries, clothes, books, gas, etc. I know my parents can't afford it, so I got a job when I was 15 and started paying myself. I think working at an early age taught me to be responsible, how to manage my time, and how to save my money.

That being said, I have absolutely nothing against anyone whose parents pay their way. If my parents had the money, I'm sure they would help me out too. There's a difference between a person who is appreciative of their parents' help and a person who expects the world on a silver platter.