Can Someone help me with my problem
 

:( I dont know if everyone understands what a "cutter" (not sure of other names)
but it is like I am trying to stop but for some reason I can't, I really cant recall how I started but its like (i am 16) my mom is a drunk so she has so many personalities and it's a lot to deal with by myself and everytime I say I wil never do it again She pisses me off Soooooooooooo much.

everyday I wear jackets so the marks arent visable, I cant really talk to anyone because I hate those looks of PITY I have --no clue how I can stop

I remember when I first started I was Like , "I can stop when ever I want to"
I thought it wasn't that harmful because i used a razor blade a clean one eachtime and I don't cut too deep and it's not like I am harming anyone else, but everytime you look at TV you see that it is harmful.

ANYWAY i just wanted advise on what I should do I thought asking a stranger is easier than asking family friends or someone at school
my friends know about it but it isn't much that they can do that i can't and every Woman of Delta Sigma Theta I have met has been nice so I thought this would be a place I can ask for help.

Thanks So much

:confused: :(

We have several sorors who are psychologists. Some of them may be in the yellow pages of your city's phone book. I hope that helps.

Well, I'm not a psychologist, but I did want to offer some advice.

I know when I am overwhelmed, (and even when I'm not) that prayer works. Or, if you are not religious, I think you should try outlets other than cutting when your mom makes you mad. Try writing, or exercising, or anything that will keep you busy until that feeling passes. I don't know much at all about cutting, but I was concerned by your post, and I hope that you will be OK.

As a Social Worker, what you are saying is quite troublesome to me. I think you need to seek professional help to assist you in coping with the stressors in your life. Remember mental health care services are confidential.

Can you see your high school guidance counselor? You might also want to go to an Al-Anon meeting just to have some type of support for the issue of living with an alcoholic (I know from experience what that's like).

If you don't want to tell your mom about needing a mental health clinician (because you are on her insurance) check with your local health department. There is usually a place that you can go that is free of charge; the ADAM (sp?) board controls it.

Have you done an internet search on cutting? I had a student that did it this year and I learned so much about it online.

Please stop hurting yourself. :(

You are not alone
 

Thanks,
I have tried praying but it seems as if things get worse I try to go to church but she will not let me (She is a Jehovah's witness I am not)

No, I have not done an internet search on it.

I've tried to talk with Mrs. CJ but after I do it I feel that it will not happen again or it's not important enough for anyone to know or she'll call my mom and everyone will think I am crazy or something like that

You are going to have to let go of what everyone will think. Everyone is not going to save your life, only YOU have the power to do that at this point. Because I work at a school, I know that the guidance counselor may have to tell your mom if she thinks that you are suicidal. At my school, we have to call the suicide hotline and the child has to go to the emergency room. *sigh* It's hard to combat something like this without getting the parent involved, even if the parent is the root of the problem.

Do you journal? I am a strong advocate of journaling. It helps to get your feelings out of your mind and onto paper. You can talk to the paper until the feeling to cut subsides. I know it sounds crazy, but give it a try.

Remember, a minute at a time. If you can keep yourself from cutting for a minute, you can go another minute. After a while, you will be up to a day, then a week, etc etc. Don't overwhelm yourself with saying you'll "never" cut again. Break it down in little pieces. You won't cut yourself tonight. When you make it through the night, say you won't cut yourself in the morning. You feel me?

Keep praying. She can keep you out of church, but she can't keep The Almighty out of your heart.

Do you have other family members who can help you?

I remember reading about this in psych courses, but have not dealt with it at all outside of the classroom environment. I applaud you for at least recognizing that you need help and taking the steps to get that help. I am sorry that your mother is causing so much pain in your life. :(

It sounds like not only do you need help but your mother does as well. Do you have older siblings who can help you?

I do have a journal. I started it when I was thinking of Killing myself (those thoughts are far gone). I still use it almost everyday to vent.

but then its those days were she is drunk but coming down off being drunk and I dont know which personality I'm talking to and the smallest things will piss her off and I'll be grounded for a few weeks



Also: my sisters will not come over anymore because she causes to much stress in their lives and had one of my sisters seeing a therapist. They say I can come over anytime but my mom will not let me go for the weekend

I actually lived with my aunt for 5 months but I had to come home and I am not allowed to stay over their anymore because she says they are using me (:confused: ) (for what I have no clue seeing that a 16 year old doesn't have much)

I am very very sorry that you have to go through this. But you know what, I detect strength in you that goes untouched by your cutting and your mother's drinking. Hold on to that strength to see you through.

Would any of your sisters or aunt be willing to take her to court for custody of you?

.Would any of your sisters or aunt be willing to take her to court for custody of you?


Yes we talked about it
it seems that would cause alot of stress also because then my DAD and stepmom will have to be in it every step of it
and right now it seems everone's life is complicated, it seems like everyone will say they'd help me but when the time came everyone would say for some reason or another it woldn't work out and with 2 more years I could find ways to stay gone.

I have been thinking about getting into programs afterschool to stay away from home it seems the more I am gone the less time I actually have to think about it
like I've been thinking about
school programs
Community Service
anything that could really help me stay gone that wouldn't be just a waist of time.

Girl, believe me when I say, trouble don't last always. I remember dealing with ALL of this. You hate going home because you don't know what's going to be going on. You don't bring friends home because you don't want them to see the chaos that you live in. All the fights and cursing. Police visits on the regular. Then the time that you wish for: quiet, serene, at times even loving. But all that mixed together causes nothing but confusion. You are right, you have two more years, and they may fly by. I agree with CrimsonTide4, you are stronger than you think. Start thinking about what college you will go to (AWAY FROM HOME) and dream about it. Try to find ways to stay gone, as you put it.

And I understand where your sisters are coming from, too. It is the exact reason that I go home less and less these days. Once you are out, you just don't want to invite that type of craziness into your life anymore.

I'm going to pull up a thread for you in the Alpha Kappa Alpha forum.

ETA: Here is the link - http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...023#post765023

I thought about you some more last night. Have you tried AlaNon or AlaTeen -- not sure exactly which one. They should have resources and avenues for you to pursue to get help.

I agree with my PIC ;) trouble don't last always and you have to take each day one day at a time. It's obvious you love yourself enough to know there is better out there. Keep us posted. :)

I hope that everything works out for you. I think that you should talk to an adult that you trust about your situation. There is nothing wrong with reaching out and getting help. With proper counseling, the quality of your life will improve and you can be happy and healthy.

I have Never thought of that.
Thanks

You're more than welcome.

Thanks YOU ALL
 

I really would like to thank you all who responded. I have been to a few website that are very helpful and my cousin/BESTFRIEND is trying to help me.

Well I have one more question:

My mom thinks that I am anorexic (I’m not) and every single time I try to tell her that I am not she tells me that I am in denial and we end up arguing every single day over this. My question is how do I get her to believe me and stop telling our family that I have a problem?http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/...ticons6/76.gif

She thinks that I am because I only eat once a day (sometimes not even that) it's just that I’m not hungry, I sleep all day, and don't want to eat when I’m not hungry. I also mentioned a few times how I wanted to lose like 10 or 15 pounds (I’m 5’6 and weigh 140 pounds).

Thanks so Much
http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/...ticons6/11.gifhttp://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/...oticons6/8.gif
http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/...oticons6/6.gif

Oh good, I am glad you are back. :)

Quite frankly, you do not need to lose any weight. The weight and height you are sounds fine to me. Don't lose any weight. Please eat. It's not healthy to not eat anything. I know you are going through a lot but don't make yourself sick by not eating.

A lot of us on here wish we still weighed 140. ;)

How have you been doing otherwise?

I have been doing better.

It’s not that I am starving myself I just sleep all day ('till about 3:00 pm) by the time I wake up lunch and breakfast are over so I just wait until dinner comes around.

I just sometimes worry about being like I use to be (I ate all day and was bulimic and when I stopped that I gained 20 pounds because I was still eating all day)

Is it bad that I only eat once a day?(I only eat when I am hungry)

What time do you go to bed that you sleep til 3? I am not WELL VERSED but sleeping like that is a sign of depression which is understandable.

Please eat but eat wisely. Don't stuff yourself though. Work out if you want to but I can promise you that you are no where near FAT.

I forgot to Answer this question...

I have been doing great.

and I'm much nicer to people
( I didn't realize how bad my attitude was)

I go to sleep around 2 or 3 in the morning

I really don't have much to add, just wanted to encourage you and tell you to hang in there.

I recently found out my mother is schizophrenic and the first time she ever got out of control was about 10 years ago (when I was about 7 or 8).
I don’t know where I should go because for a few months I lived with my dad and I was not happy at all. My sisters tell me I should move back with my dad because my mom was not as bad when I was gone with my dad. I am not happy there or here but when I live with my mom I can see my cousin (who is my best friend) and family anytime I want to.

My mom has been okay until about last year when her delusions started to get worse. I am kind of scared because she thinks people come into the house and that I am stealing from her (and my family is against her). The lady said I can stay here or leave what ever I wanted to do should be alright.

I hate to put my business out there but I'm going to do it.

@Luv_Me

I know exactly what you are going through. My mother has Paranoia Schizophrenia and I have dealt with it since I was 7 years of age. I have seen her go through her delusions and everything and it has had an effect on me growing up. My father knew what was going on but he was one of those deadbeat fathers that didn't give a damm.....If I would have stayed with him and his parents I won't say that I would have been a better person and life would have been peaches and cream but I will say my environment would have been relatively stable. I still live with her and it is a very tough thing to deal with.

I understand that you may not like your father but you really should think about which environment would be stable for you. He may not let you have the same freedoms as your mother would but as you grow older you will appreciate the structure and the stability.

You only have one mother and father. Your best bet is to talk things out with your father and let him know your concerns without any ranting and raving. I had to do the same thing with mine.

Thank you for sharing this. I hope that you are receiving all the help and support you can find, Luv Me. I didn't realize how widespread this problem is. I never knew about it until recently. Two of my students are cutters. And now I think a close friend of mine was and still may be a cutter but won't admit it. The thing that they have in common is that they are very hurt and angry inside but are very gentle people who would never lash out and hurt anybody. Instead, they turn it on themselves.:confused:

BlueReign

Thank You
My first post was before I knew that my mother was
Schizophrenic.

For the past 4-5 months I have been doing pretty good with
not cutting myself. I started to realize how it never helps and
they were so deep it wouldn't heal and go away like the other
Ones did. I really stopped after my cousin/ best friend tried to
kill herself. Most of the people in my family are on something
for their depression I just can't see myself being on something I
wouldn't feel like I was a normal person.

My friend just told me she thought about cutting herself and
that I was the only person she ever told that. I didn't know
what to say because I know she shouldn't and in the end it will
not help, but how can you tell someone not to do something
you have done? I bought her a journal so she can write
about what's going wrong, she said it works.

DC_Zeta1920
- Thank you
I understand what you are saying. I try to talk to my dad but in
the end all he says is I defend my sisters to much and they
have some control over me. My sisters are the people who
raised me and teach me what I should and shouldn't be. When I
moved with my dad he told me that I shouldn't spend so much
time with them and since he and his wife do not like my sister
I can't talk to her when I live with and I'm not really allowed to be alone with her. He says she is in my life more than what is needed, I feel she raised me and we are just close.


- I have decided to live with my dad. I have put up with worse and I am sure this last year will go fast. I thought about what you wrote and it would be better. When I was with my dad my grades were better than they are now and that really matters to me.