Did everyone LOVE formal recruitment?
 

at my school, we're always telling girls "go through formal-you're love it! it's the best!" and i mean, when i went through it wasn't bad or anything. this is from someone who had like a dream rush (invites everywhere and #1 house on my list), but uh, it really wasn't all that and a bag of chips. i probably wouldn't have as many friends in other houses if it wasnt for rush, but i really don't see it as the life changing experience my friends seem to see, other than GETTING IN my house. not really something i would go through on that side again purposely. what do you think?

*note: not trying to scare any PNMs or anything. and i'm not saying it seems totally fake or anything, just ... rush is.... a rush. i dunno. i just kinda like fraternity rush (more open) around here. shrugs*

Hated it. I found it to be very superficial.

I can see both sides. On one hand, I did find it somewhat superficial and silly. On the other hand, I had a lot of fun and I'm definitely glad that I went through. I certainly didn't have the time of my life or anything, but my Rho Chis were fabulous and I loved the whole rush atmosphere.

I LOVED it!! My chapter (at the time) was the absolutely the worst at COB, so we pulled out all the stops for Formal Recruitment.

I love the challenge, the excitement, the adrenaline rush, meeting so many new people, and the theme parties! Most of all, I loved the wonderful feeling of taking quota & knowing that, unless a space opens up, you're DONE with it for the year!

I think a lot of it is because I'm good at names & can quickly make a connection with PNMs, too, though. Also, my chapter is now absolutely awesome at COB, so it's probably a whole new ballgame now.


ETA: Yes, FR is superficial - if you allow it to be. I prefer to think of it as "campy".

Agreed. I don't like small talk and I found the songs/skits to be unbearably cheesy. How well you can perform a skit or sing about why your sorority is the best EVAR (or what you're wearing while you do it) has nothing to do with whether I want to be your friend.

i agree that it can be superficial, but i like the fact that you have to go to all of the sororities the first day. i was so set in what i thought i wanted to be, and i hadn't given a lot of the other groups, including the one im now a member of, a second thought. i think it's definately a beneficial experience for that reason.

I hated it... I was not treated well in several houses. There were quite a few inappropriate questions that were asked, "What kind of car do you drive and is it new? Does your mother stay at home? What kind of jewelry is that you are wearing? Is it real? How much money does your father make? Are you planning to lose those last few pounds once rush is over? Do you go out to bars? Do you drink? Do you know any boys here? Oh, you know a SigEp -- do you spend a lot of time over at the house?"

I can remember the houses that asked these questions...

One house even had a girl just sit there. She told me I was not going to be considered for that house. Then, she just stopped talking to me and we sat there until the skit started. Then, she walked away and left me to myself. Seriously.

My friend had coached me on what to wear according to her campus. But, at my school, the attire was so much more elaborate. I had to go spend $250 on clothes and shoes just to fit in.

The rho chis had their favorites in the group and tended to ignore everyone else.

I have social anxiety, so this just made everything worse. Rush sucked. That's why I quit. I rushed informally two days after rush ended and LOVED that experience.

i guess you can divide the whole experience into sister areas and PNM areas because i know people who liked going through recruitment as a PNM but hate doing the work as a sister and vice versa...myself, i really enjoyed the whole experience overall because i like meeting and talking to new people, but i can totally understand how a lot of people don't like it because it takes up so much time and can be really tiring and frustrating...the good thing of the sister-side though is that you really bond with other members seeing as how you have to spend so much time together :D i definitely liked that part.

i agree, sorority recruitment should really learn from some of the positive aspects of frat rush...but i think that they should learn from our system of having every person go to every house at least once out of fairness.

I went through a structured informal rush when I was a rushee, which wasn't bad, plus I was a sophomore so I already knew people. And I met lots more, which was great.

But as far as formal rush on the other end - I HATED it. I could probably do it now, but at the time, small talk was just not something I was good at. I also am not a salesman and the idea of "selling" something as deep and personal as my sisterhood and what I found in it was/is just repugnant to me.

The only kind of rush I was good at is talking to people, them asking about my sorority, and saying "hey, come over."

This is terribly interesting!! One of the things that most of my sorority friends brag about as they graduate & are in the Real World is their ability to talk to just about anyone, and the other skills learned during Recruitment!

TippieChick and Cluey, of course I would not ask which houses asked you those questions, but I'm curious about where and when you went through formal rush.

I signed up, went through 1st round, and withdrew. I didn't even bother to look at my invites. I was a freshman in college that year. The whole summer I'd heard horror stories from my neighbor (who went to another Ohio school with a huge/competitive greek system) about girls not getting the houses they want, getting cross cut, etc. I guess I was so afraid of being cut, I quit. So no I didn't enjoy formal recriutment. I opted to COB instead :)

I hated formal recruitment from both the PNM and sister perspectives. I sometimes joke that that was the real reason I became a rho chi my senior year. :p

I found FR very fake and superficial. As a PNM, I found myself wondering if I was really expected to make a decision based on how good the skits were. :p As a sister, I found out how frustrating it is to be in the smallest sorority on campus (small only b/c we were new), with little $ and little alum support and only a couple of sisters who could carry a tune, competing with 4 well-established sororities with tons of actives, active alums, and money.

I've always preferred informal rush. It's more laid back and relaxed, and you can really focus on getting to know the PNMs or the sisters (depending on which side you're on), rather than whether you're going to flub your lines in the skit or trip over your own feet.

Much as I hated FR, my advice to PNMs is still to go through. You will get to meet members of all the sororities on campus, as well as your fellow PNMs. If things don't work out, or if you just find it too fake, then check out informal rush. But if you just skip FR and focus on one house, you may always wonder "what if?"

As a PNM I did like that I got to see every house, it made me interested in a few that I thought I wouldn't like. I didn't really mind the conversations, although I can think of a few houses where I had awkward silences during the conversation.

As a sister I really disliked it. You never know who you're going to end up talking to...you might get someone that "knows" they don't want to be in your house :rolleyes:. I felt like the burden was on me to keep the conversation going, and sometimes it was like pulling teeth. I liked informal a lot better because those PNMs chose to be there.

I didn't have anyone that was rude to me, but I was rude to one of the other girls B/C I wanted to get cut from that house (I had about 5 girls in that house that I knew before and I just couldn't see them as sisters)....well, not actually rude...but I did start talking about how fake rush is...etc....

I hated COB because my only semester active, that's all we did....every week it was at least one COB...and girls don't respond to COB at WIU. If you get any girls to come out at all, generally, they're just looking for next semester at formal.

That's really not how it's supposed to be...COB should be more of a if Susie hangs out at the house a lot and lots of sisters like her, we can give her a bid. Or if Jenny really hates formal rush but loves our open bid parties and we like her we can give her a bid. We had open bid parties maybe once a month, to keep girls interested - if they didn't want to sign a bid that minute but kept coming back that was fine too. The "C" is not supposed to stand for "constant"!

And yes Jess, I know LOL. :D

While formal recruitment isn't always fun, it's the best feeling to go greet all of your NMs and for it to be over and accomplish something. Also, if you only did COB, some chapters would never have girls at their house for the simple fact that they weren't "desireable" houses. I may get flack for that, but it's true.

Wow, Tippiechick and Cluey. Those are horrifying recollections. Cluey, I was thinking, before you mentioned UGA, that you must have had that experience at an extremely unsophisticated school. But UGA? Maybe not the absolute acme of polish and manners, but not a completely out-of-it student body either.

Times have changed, I guess. Way back when I went to college, and even before, I was taught that a gentleman does not ask questions like the ones you mentioned. I assumed that girls were taught the same thing -- asking about money or making personal remarks about someone's appearance is not proper.

What's interesting is that questions like the ones you mentioned, as well as the underlying values they display, play right into the hands of those who say Greeks buy their friends or are superficial.

Or maybe it was just a form of Southern hospitality that I'm not acquainted with. :confused:

Oh, just because the times have changed doesn't mean the questions have.

A friend of mine is the PCD for our Province (one of) and some of those questions are still asked during recruitment (and yes at "sophisticated" schools). Especially the one about "how much money daddy makes".

Okay then, SmartBlondeGPhB, and I believe you don't like the practice of asking such questions, but I want to ask . . .

Not for myself, but for the benefit of women who may get asked that question during recruitment:

What is the desired response? Clearly you'll get cut if you smile sweetly and say, "None of your ****ing busines." But if rushers have the gall and built-in tackiness to ask, I don't see any reason why you'd necessarily have to tell them the truth. So what kind of figure are we talking about -- what do they want to hear? Is there some dollar amount that would come across as being okay -- at least enough for them to proceed and offer you a glass of ice water?

Why do I ask? Because there have been numerous posts on GC over the years saying that questions about money (not to mention boys, booze, and religion) are verboten. Evidently, as the Gershwins and their collaborators put it, "it ain't necessarily so." So instead of painting a picture of Fantasyland, it might be more helpful to pass along some tips for what to say if -- or even when -- you get hit with one of those questions.

I would probably say something along the lines of "not enough to buy that 10th Royal Lipizzaner Stallion I wanted to complete the matching set."

Well, I don't know how anyone else would answer that question, but my response would have been (with a laugh), "Daddy does just fine, thank goodness!" or something on that line.

I'm not going to mention the GLO, but one actually did your basic Dun & Bradstreet on me when I was rushing. Turned out that the alumna in charge of doing so was a good friend of my mama's, and they discussed the matter!

After that phone call, I was told (as pro-greek as my parents were/are) that I was not permitted to rush "such a crass organization"!

Actually I don't much care either way. I was simply pointing out that the practice of asking those kinds of questions is not as "dead" as some would believe (or admit to).

If I was asked that question now I would probably make up some smart ass answer and laugh it all off. "Enough to pay for MY retirement as well as his".

Back during the time I went through rush I probably would have said I didn't know (because I didn't). But, anyone could have easily "guessed" at an answer by asking me where I went to high school, how many bros/sisters I have, and what my parents did (Catholic schools, only child, both worked).

But then "enough to give me everything I could ever want" works well too. In reality it doesn't really say much because you have no idea what constitutes "everything I could ever want". For me, it's pretty inexpensive since I learned long ago that "stuff" doesn't make me happy.

But, then again I would probably have been laughing to hard from the word "daddy" by an 18 year old to even answer the question......

Wow, maybe i just go to one of those schools, but i was always taught that asking about money was definitely forbidden...it's hard too, because you want to find out if the PNM is financially responsible or can meet dues, pay for t-shirts, etc. without being totally and ridiculously nosy, so i always just trust that they know what their doing finance-wise when they go through recruitment...i really don't know what i would have done if someone had asked me point-blank how much my parents made, probably "Let's me call them tonight and ask them"

Ole Miss... 1998... I want to MAKE SURE to say that other houses and (obviously) ZTA did NOT act inappropriatly! Nonetheless, like Cluey, I also LOVE my school and everything that comes along with it. I just wasn't prepared for how rush would be. I had prepared for rush like it was MTSU...

ETA: I answered the money question honestly without giving specifics. I told them my father is a Mechanical Engineer, and he makes enough for us to live quite comfortably.

In the South, it's almost always Daddy. :)

I think it's very strange that at UGA they ask what your father does for a living. When I was an active, we usually knew enough about the rushees--yes, they were still called "rushees" then--before they ever walked through the door by reading their recs and their rush applications and through girls who were actives and were from the same hometowns as the rushees. If I recall correctly, a LOT of the rushees put their mothers & fathers' names on their resumes along with occupation and a long list of family greek affiliations. Not all of them did this, but there were a lot. I wonder if that is still the case. I wouldn't be surprised.

On topic: I loved formal recruitment, as a PNM and as an active. Except, that I didn't think I was a very good "rush-er" so I ran for VP Membership so I could plan it & do the talking in front of the group, instead of one on one.

Re. the "daddy's income" question: I was never asked that, and don't think it ever occurred to us to ask (we were not a large Greek system, and had only really been in existence for about 3 years...we assumed if you were rushing, you had the means to pay...that was true for the most part). If I had been asked that question, I would have been completely unable to answer. My parents NEVER EVER discussed finances with their children-to this day, they don't talk about it. My only reply to that question would have had to be "my parents make enough." Wonder how that would have gone over elsewhere? I don't plan on informing my children of my income so if they rush somewhere where it is an issue, they will likewise be at a loss.

i loved formal recruitment!
 

as a pnm, a sorority member and a rush counselor. and kudos to honeychile for her classy answer to a tacky question.and honeychile, may i add to your answer,"and yours?"after all, it seems only fair that the pnm know if her potential sisters are up to her standard of living. there was a rumor on my campus that one of the sororities asked that question during rush, but i either dropped them before that time, or my friends that were in that sorority answered the question for me. but of course, rumors do fly during formal recruitment.

Still happens. Getting recs and resumes by the boatload this summer. Some have two pages worth of greek affiliations-- it's insane! We make a slide show while preparing for rush called "names & faces" so we can memorize the girls.

I hated rush too (and yes I rushed at UGA) although I don't recall the "what does your daddy do" questions. I think you just get tired of the repetative questions and small talk. Most houses were great and I didn't have a negative thing to say about them, but there are always those few that don't make you feel welcome and show no interest in you. It was much better on the sister side, and most of that I enjoyed. It still is a good experience overall and does prepare you for some real life experiences later.


UGA rush is tough b/c it's competative and very formal and yes, very southern.

I think that the girls had tried to piece together information about me, but, since I was from out-of-state, they were not able to gather too much. Yes, I was matched with the few girls from either around my area or my hometown, but none of them went to my high school or volunteered with any of the organizations in which I was involved. In a town as large as my hometown, it's impossible to know everyone.

I chose to go to UGA, where I was the only person from my high school, rather than UF or FSU, where I would have known hundreds of girls. So much for the path less taken ;)

Yep. if you are in state, they know lots about you before you walk through the door and probably have researched you all summer long. But if you are from out of state, it's a different story.

I too was out of state at UGA and I'm sure nobody knew a thing about me.

Didn't you fill out a recruitment application and/or send your resume? How could they have known nothing about you?

I'm not trying to be rude, I am just curious. You didn't meet any of the sorority members when you came down for orientation before classes or anything? I've never been at UGA during rush, so I'm not sure how it works there.

There is a generic rush application that I did fill out but the majority of information that the chapter gets about girls is through word of mouth, connections to home towns, high schools etc. I had only met one person prior to rush that was in a GLO at UGA and she was graduated by then. So they had some generic information but I know from being on the other side (the sister side) of rush that most of the information we 'used' about girls was from someone who knew her from home, knew her family, knew someone that went to school/church with her etc. Although it seems like a large state, when it gets to rush it can be very small!

Re: i loved formal recruitment!
 

Aren't you the sweetest thing? I just LOVE your response! I wish I had thought of it at the time!

My mama was absolutely fuming - and this was a very good friend of hers!!

Eh, I didn't mind going through Formal as a PNM. I think I said and wore everything wrong that I could but I still made it through. I don't particularily enjoy small talk but thanks to my mom, I can make it with the best of them.

I didn't get to experience Recruitment much on the other side. My sophomore year I was on Panhel Exec (though looking back I really could have and should have been with my chapter). My junior and senior years I was mostly a floater or in a skit. In fact, I really only rushed one girl my whole time in the house and that was on Pref night my senior year. I must have done something right, though, because she later confided to me that I was the reason she joined.

Where were you from originally, and how'd you do with recruitment?

What is "leg line"? I'm picturing a line of sisters shaking their legs at the PNMs in unison. :p

I think it's legacy line.

I know there's a house at my school that asks the money question - I had a friend rush this fall (we have deferred) and she asked me questions since really, I'm unaffiliated. She called me and said "The girl at XYZ asked what my DAD does, WTF?" I was really surprised - I mean, really, we go to a fairly expensive school, obviously everyone's at least a little well off.