Need Help!!: Nightmare Monster(Baby)-Sitting
 

Warning, this is going to be LONG!

Ok, I'm 21 years old but I haven't really done that much babysitting in my life. Recently I've been babysitting for my boyfriend's sister-in-law....she has 4 kids (by 3 different fathers, none of them her current husband, my boyfriend's step-brother). They are ages 9, 7, 4, 3.

The 9 yo, the only girl, I generally have no problems with, mostly beacuse she knows that her mother puts up with no isht from her and will beat her if she's out of line.

The 7 year old has anger problems and cries hysterically when he doesn't get his way...usually because he's been playing his videogame for hours on end and other kids want to watch TV so I take the power cord away from him.

The 4 year old (almost 5, will be going to kindergarten next fall) cries hysterically anytime, for any reason, and even to the point where he'll stop breathing. He also cannot wipe his own butt after using the restroom.

The 3 year old fell and cracked his front tooth months ago (I was not yet babysitting for them yet) and the mom claims she doesn't have the money to take him to the dentist to get it pulled (even though since then she's bought a new van, new TV, satalite TV, etc) and it is now rotting away and causing his other front tooth to rot away...probably because the kids drink nothing but soda the whole day starting from when they get up at 8 to when they go to bed at 7 or 8...they have gone through a 12-pack between the 4 of them in 3 hours before.

The 3 & 4 year old do not go to preschool right now...they sit home all day and drink soda, eat ramen noodles and watch TV ALL DAY.

The only form of punishment these kids respond to is spanking, but obviously I'm not going to spank someone else's kids, and the mother would have a isht fit if anyone hurt her precious babies. They have no manners whatsoever. The 3 & 4 year old don't even have the discipline to stay off the dinner table or the TV. When I bring them to my house they are slightly better behaved, but I might as well be watching them for free as they won't stay out of my fridge and will take whatever they can get their hands on. They constantly beat on eachother and the only way to get them to stop is by phisically restraining them, but I can't be doing that because I'm pregnant and very afraid that they will hit me while I'm trying to restrain them.

They tell me that I'm mean and that they hate me and then 5 minutes later they fight about who gets to sit in my lap. They tell me that they don't have to listen to me and when I tell them no they say that they're going to ttell their mommy when she gets home (not that she cares anyway)

I've talked to the mother about their bad behavior and told her that I have no idea what to do because they don't listen and she told me that I stress too much and if they're doing something and it's not going to kill them, just let them do it. She says that she wants them to have a chance to "just be kids".

On top of this I'm lucky if she pays me $3 an hour. I've talked to people about this and they say "So just don't babysit" but it's just not that easy because if I stopped babysitting for her she'd be pissed at me and she would inisit her husband is pissed at me too which then causes problems between him and his brother and my boyfriend and me. My boyfriend and I already have enough problems to work through (not that we have a bad relationship, is just that we don't need MORE stuff on top of the few conflicts we need to resolve) and a baby on the way. Plus she's accused me of bringing probelms between her and her husband...because "they have a perfect relationship and just because my boyfriend and I don't doesn't mean that I need to give them problems"...the funny part is her relationship is far from
perfect and she doesn't even know it. Her husband is Mexican and barely speaks English, my boyfriend tells me (I speak Spanish, we don't have many problems with language) that his brother doesn't even understand his wife and most of the time he has no idea what's going on...I'd say that was a HUGE problem, but she has no clue that he doesn't understand (both brothers are very good at smile & nodding). Plus she wants him to adopt her kids and he's like "no freaking way", but he won't tell her that.

Ok, I really need to stop now or I'm going to get myself upset and I really don't need that right now...anyway...does anyone have any suggestions on how to handle the situation/kids/her/etc...??????

$3.00 an hour for 4 children? You are overworked and SERIOUSLY underpaid. I don't have any advice for you though, just sympathy :(

Honestly, $3 an hour isn't worth all the stress these people are giving you. I pay my babysitter $10.00 an hour for watching my two children and, just between you and me, if she said she needed a raise I'd probably fork it over to her.

Good babysitters are VERY hard to find, so don't waste your time (and your sanity!) on these people!

This sounds like really bad situation.

I know you don't want to cause problems between your boyfriend and his brother and you and the wife, but I think you should stopp doing this.
First of all, I believe the standard minimum for babysitting is at least $5 an hour so she isn't even paying you enough (and like you said coincidentally she has enough money for a new van, etc). Also, this situation seems to be putting you under a lot of stress. I don't think stress is healthy during a pregnancy and it could potentially put you and the baby at risk.

I just think you have to do what's best for you, and babysitting these kids just doesn't seem to be a good idea.

Easy solution: Call DHS:D

I rather agree w/ KTSnake. Sounds like these kids are not being raised well and in fact being neglected mentally, emotionally, and physically (poor nutrition, lack of dental care). At the very least, you do not need to involved yourself in a situation this bad, especially not for what you're getting paid. Girlfriend or not, you are entitled to AT LEAST 10 an hour. If it were me, I'd charge 15, since there are so many kids and they're such pains in the arses.
Also, mentioning your boyfriend for a second, if you relationship has lots of things to work through, it's probably not worth working out. If you were already married, then maybe it would be worth it. As it is, I'd say get out. You need to look out for you (and not a mess of squalling brats!)

Tell her the doctor said that due to your pregnancy you should not be under the stress of taking care of 4 "lively" children. If your boyfriend's brother is such a doormat that he'll be mad at you just because this heffa told him to, that's his issue. Your relationship problems are yours and theirs are theirs...she might want to pull her head out of her ass and realize that (sorry, but this is what it sounds like) considering he can't even converse with her, she is serving as nothing but a receptacle. Period.

At any rate, if you have to tough it out for a little while longer, try to get the 9 year old to help you out as far as the smallest ones go. If they're still doing this crap a couple years from now SHE is going to be the one stuck watching them all the time, so it's in her best interests to straighten them out now.

I feel so bad for you! :( Of course my first thought was that you should stop babysitting them, but then I read about the problems you'll have if you do that. So I agree with 33girl... just blame it on the doctor (and I'm sure the doc would tell you it's not good for you anyway). In that case, she shouldn't get mad... although she sounds SO mature :rolleyes:, so who knows, maybe she will anyway. But you have got to get out of that situation.

And I am like :eek: at the fact that she won't get her kid's tooth fixed, but yet she can buy all this other crap. It makes me so angry the way some people choose to raise their kids!!! :mad:

Quick Update....

Unfortunatly nothing that helps the situation much but it's still hilarious....

Yesterday I had to take the mother to work so I could use her van to schlep the kids around the city and pick her husband up from work (he doesn't have his US liscence yet). ANd after I pick up her husband he's in charge so I get to go home. She got off work early and tried to call her husband but he didn't answer the phone-4 times within two hours. When I went to get her she was halfway home walking and VERY pissed (not at me because she didn't have my number to let me know that she was off early...it's stored on the cell phone that she gave to him so she could call him...) When we got back home (we live two houses apart, which makes it even better :rolleyes: ) her husband had let the kids go across the street to a neighbor's who is known for not watching her kids (normally if the monster kids are outside the mother is stalking them like crazy making sure they don't leave the boundries, etc...) well...the 3 year old was actually playing in the road... (not really all that dangerous being that it's a tiny side street, but still..... I'm sure her husband got a new @$$hole when she got ahold of him!

Did they kiss you before they screwed you?

WOW, and I thought I was babysitting Satan's spawn this weekend. I only have problems with her going to sleep. I feel much better.

Not to belabor this point....BUT....

there is some sort of intervention needed for these children. Lack of medical care (bad dental care can effect many things in a growing child...including heart muscle development :(, lack of proper supervision and guidance are BIG issues. The fact that a 3 year old was playing in the street WITHOUT supervision (not saying playing in the street in and of itself is bad...no supervision is bad) IS BAD. Not only for risk of getting hurt, but children vanish at a terrible rate in today's world.

Stress to you while you are pregnant is a bad thing as well. As you get further and further along in your pregnancy, you will find caring for these children will be more and more difficult. I suggest helping the mom find quality day care. With her paying you so little (way way way too little), it makes me wonder if affordability is an issue. There are ways to track down assistance for day care. You and the family in question would be best served by you using your energeries to help her locate quality, affordable, permanent day care, WITH assistance if she needs.

Good luck

To Bad Duck Tape is out of the question for both the kids and parents!:mad:

Hell for 3.00 $ and hour, save your strength and heart ache!

This is not a good situation for you!;)

Are you listening???
 

It is so SIMPLE......

QUIT NOW QUIT NOW QUIT NOW QUIT NOW QUIT NOW

ANY QUESTIONS??????

Re: Are you listening???
 

yup

"No!" is a complete sentence. Know it. Learn it. Live it. Especially when these 4 children are involved.

Calls Social Services. Plain and simple. Tell them you dont want to leave a name but tell them all about the situation. Maybe make it seem like you are a neighbor and see all this. That way you can continue to act like you know nothing when they come and they will get the help they deserve. It is NOT right for these children to be treated this way. They are being abused, it may not be physically, but they arent even getting the proper medical care. Give me their name, Ill call SS on them. Its simple, its not right what happening to them and it shouldnt be your problem. Its not fair to you as you are pregnant and you dont need this stress. It can seriously harm your baby if you dont watch it. If you wont call SS on them, quit. If you dont, you are at a risk to lose your baby with all thats going on. I know other mothers who are under less stress than you and very strong women who take good care of themselves who have lost their babies so please be careful. You need to look out for the baby and yourself before its too late. Plus you dont deserve or need all that crap. You are pretty much doing it for nothing. I would def tell your dr all of it and have him write you a note saying you are not allowed to babysit anymore. I know you dont want to cause problems with you and your bf, but someone has to look out for those kids and it seems you are the only sane person there. Please try to do the right thing for everyone.

No way would I babysit "Bay-bay's kids"! Ya gots to tell her no and definitely report her to CPS for neglect

More Drama:rolleyes: BUT I'm pretty sure I've got up the nerve to quit now....but for you soap-opera fans, it's still interesting reading...I think the title of this thread needs to be changed to Trailer Trash of Our Lives or As the Trailer-Trash Turns...


So basiclly she came home yesterday and the house was a mess (what else is new) and she told me that it is my fault because I don't get on them enough...

I started 45 minutes before hand and annouced they have 45 min to get the house clean before we went and picked up the mom...and annouced again at 30 min., 20 min, 10 min., and 5 min....I can't do much more then that besides physically making them do it...and then I might as well just clean the house myself and there's NO WAY that's happing...she doesn't pay me enough to watch the kids, let alone clean her house too.

Then she sat there and counted her money in front of me....$75 in just tips, not counting the $3.50/hour salary...now I do have to say that this is an exceptional day and usually it's more like $35...but then she paid me...$20 for 7 hours....and let me know that I'd have to be there at 5 am the next morning (today).


Ok, so today...she called me to remind me, and then came over to remind me...and I had to drive my bf to work (BTW, yes he is daddy and very concerned about his baby-to-be) at 11 and I'm borrowing my aunt's truck that only seats 3 because I just bought a washer and dryer, so another neighbor lady was going to be watching them at 10:30 so I could take him to work. And then she called me an hour later to remind me to take them to the neighbor's (like I was going to forget...I take my bf to work everyday). 3 things happened today that made me want to spit nails...

1. I went to make them breakfast and there was only 3 cearal bowls clean...she keeps the soap locked in her room because otherwise the kids will pour it down the drain...so I thought maybe I'd just wipe out with the dishrag one of the bowls they used yesterday for cearal (which were still sitting in the sink half full of cearal...not exactly the most healthy thing, but I though "what else can I do"?) I grabbed for the dishrag...it felt like a piece of raw meat...slimey and greasy and it smelled like it was rotting...and then I noticed the ants crawling all over the sink...(she says she has ant problems but it's not cause she's dirty, it's because the kids are always leaving sweet things around.....I'm sorry, but I spilled some sugar on my counter that I keep forgetting to clean up and I haven't seen one single ant.)

2.The kids asked why they couldn't go with to take Uncle Ernesto to work because they usually do...I explained that I have a truck that only seats 3 people and that would be 6 people and the 7-year old said "Oh, ok, and mommy said you're not allowed to use our van anymore"...this is the first I've heard of this and if that's what she really said I think I should have heard it from her, not her 7-yo kid. I think it's because yesterday it was making noises, but it's probably from being driven up and down our bumpy road...it's probably the shocks...and there's NO WAY for $3 or less I'm using my car and my gas to drag her kids around (dropping off my bf is one thing, but I use her van to pick up her husband and other things like that).

3. When I took them to the neighbor lady I told her that the mom said she needed to watch them at their house. The lady said that she had discussed it with the mom and they will be at her house and she would have them for the rest of the day (because I was under the impression that I was supposed to come back and get them after I dropped off my bf)...all stuff the mom should have told me...not the neighbor lady...

YES....I REALLY, REALLY want to call DCFS, buit I just know she'll figure out it was me...and she's the kind of trailer trash that would come pick a fight with me while I'm pregnant.

Please, pleas, PLEASE quit!!

My god! I want to guit for you!
This is far too much for you to handle. She doesn't leave you proper instructions, she plays you nothing, and she expects you to be her servant.
This woman makes me so angry and I don't even know her!
Next time she calls you and tells you to do something for her, say NO! Say no, you're not "working" for her anymore, you're not taking care or her Satan's spawn, and that's that. Hang up the phone.

Take her on Springer.

Is that even still on????

No....I really want to know because that's a good idea....





















NOT!

I have WAY too much class to be seen on national TV with her....

DFS takes these claims to heart and even if you give your name they cannot by law tell her who called them...unless it goes to court then your name would be brought up. Talk to her and tell her she doesn't pay you enough to clean her house and take care of her brats, and so you are quitting! The stress is not healthy..trust me, medication for maintaining stress levels is very expensive! It also affects your heart, and your health, not to mention your unborn childs health. Talk to your boyfriend and tell him how you feel and what is going on, then call DFS on her, and then sit back and relax. Even if she is related to your man by marriage it is not your responsibility to take care of her brats, and deal with her marital problems. So what if her husband is a doormat, he needs to grow some balls and grow up! This woman sounds like a psycho...getting mad b/c he won't adopt her children. Sounds like she needs to keep her legs closed..anyways. I hope you do what's best for you, b/c your health is all you have, keep it and don't let people destroy it!

Well, it looks like I don't even have to quit...

My mom's going in for knee sugery and will be in the hospital for five days and then I'm sure she'll need help at home, and she won't be able to drive for 8 weeks, so I'll have to be her personal chaffuer...and she lives in North Carolina...so it look's like I'm taking a trip south for awhile....or if I can convince the bf, we'll be moving to the south soon...Charlotte, here I come...and once I'm safe in another state...Hello? DCFS?

Geez.. it sounds like you're the designated 'go-to' person in your family. I hope you enjoy getting away from them all. It can sometimes be a drawback to be the responsible one.

I'm sorry about your mother's surgery, I hope she gets better soon! Definitely use it as an easy way out of your job! I hope you move to Charlotte, it's a fun area. GOOD LUCK! And DEFINITELY call DCFS on her!

One last addition as I compleate my last week of duties...(I'm watching the two youngest one more time, the two oldest are at Grandma's...gee I wonder why she didn't want ALL of them:p :confused: :p ) The kids have FLEAS!!! AND, they don't even have any pets... (they had a cat about a month ago, but she finally got rid of it after the kids almost killed it several times) That is definatly the last straw, I'm calling DCFS.....

God for you!

The most important thing is the welfare of the children.

Oh my god! :eek: :eek: :eek:


I'm so glad you decided to call DCFS, I don't know what's wrong with their family but those kids deserve so much more! I understand that a lot of families can't provide their children with everything..but there's no excuse for the child playing in the road or for the children to have fleas!

I'm sorry you had to go through this but remember you're doing the best thing for the children!
Make sure to keep us posted on what happens because we'll all be worried about the kids!

PS. I *love* the names you've selected for your baby (especially the girl's!)

Thank you!

They are actually the Hispanic forms of my parent's names
Mom-Marianne (has no middle name)
Dad- John Rodney (Rodney is his uncle's name, Pedro is the name of one of the baby's uncles, family tradtion)