Blue collar vs. White collar
 

OKAY so I know I am going to stir up some stuff with this post, but one of my friends who I actually dated for a minute(blue collar guy) once said "My friends and I don't do well with blue collar types. We need to hang with apple-martini drinking yuppie types". ANYWAYS~~~~how do you all feel about dating someone who may not have obtained a degree or is not as "professional" as you may be? What do you think the likelihood is of the relationship working out? I think "opposites" may attract but you really need to have things in common for it to work in the long-run. Education is definately something that plays a crucial part in the relationship working in my opinion. (especially if one is educated and one isn't).

It just depends a lot on how you are and how they are. I've met some extremely couth people that didn't have their 4-year degrees and some very uncouth people that did have 4-year diplomas.

I think it's a good upbringing and not necessarily a decent education, people skills, etc. that lead to social sophistication (money doesn't hurt either). A 4-year degree assures you of none of those things. It helps though.

Education isn't as important as intelligence. I don't care if a guy has a PhD, if he doesn't get my jokes or can't have a decent conversation, in my eyes, he's stupid.

I don't think I would be happy dating "down" nor dating "up". Coming from an "intereducational" family, I can tell you that those differences are SIGNIFICANT. If you're up for a challenge, I'd say go for it. I'm currently not up for that challenge.

It's interesting because I have a close friend who is getting her PhD right now. Recently she has begun fighting a lot more with her boyfriend (a H.S. grad) because she feels he should be doing more with his life. He works on Wall St. doing trading. He complains about his job and hasn't really looked for anything else, is 35, and also has stated he really is not the "school type" which is fine. She feels that if HE doesn't get his act together (in her eyes) she is going to end things with him. I think it depends on the situation and what both partners are looking for out of life. I think that for the most part we tend to date people who have had similar experiences and educational background then we have.

One of my parents has significantly more education than the other. One has a white collar job, the other blue collar, however, they both make about the same of money. They've been happily married for over 25 years. I don't think it matters all that much.

It's not about I.Q. It's about E.Q.

A lot of times people cannot relate though if they haven't been through the same experiences. Case in point my "friend" who is always criticizing people who have more education and experience then him.

I also think sometimes people get stuck in a rut and unconciously are resentful of people who have gone on to better their lives.

In terms of making the same amount of money in blue collar vs. white collar, that can be annoying but what are you gonna do?

I work in a profession that will never get paid a lot of money. That is a whole other conversation though.

cosign. It's all about the ability to get along together well, not about nuclear fission.

All of the people on GC are blue collar except me.

-Rudey
--I'm white collar, and blue blooded *pops his collar*

Intelligence is hard to quantify, IQ is known to shift points plus the tests don't work well if the subject has experience of them. Nevertheless, intelligence is one of those things that many believe "I know it when I see it".

We've all probably heard phrases like "I've met plenty of people with doctorates who couldn't find their own ass with two hands and a flashlight. It doesn't mean a thing". I think yes, it can indicate intelligence but an absence of post HS qualifications doesn't simply mean the person wasn't intelligent enough to take formal education further. That's a fallacy.

There are all sorts of circumstantial issues you'd need to take into account. They may not have had the financial support to look at higher education, lack of supportive family etc. Or, a disillusionment with their high school and education generally which could mean if their experiences would've been different then they would have taken things further. Plus, many go back to school later as non-traditional (mature) students. It doesn't for a moment mean they've magically increased in intelligence and until that point weren't worth knowing by someone who had a certificate.

Moving forward, to the supposed class distinction viz. blue collar vs. white collar, I believe such classifications are merely arbitrary ways for one person to feel superior to another and perhaps indicative of people's underlying urge to be part of a unique 'tribe' or communuity. A sort of one-upmanship if you will.
Ktsnake's point was well made.
There are people who can move between these imaginary socio-economic stratas. You can have parents who work in construction/minor administrative work and end up as a futures trader or work your way up in the corporate world from a decidedly blue collar start.

I think a lot of chat about blue collar or white collar people is mere snobbery or inverted snobbery. Again, ktsnake highlighted the issues perspicuously.

I believe I said this already only in less words. A persons E.Q is often more important than their I.Q.

ETA: But you do make some very valid points.

^DORK!^ :p

I have never dated a blue collar guy. Pass the apple martinis. :)

Hey Noreen do you know the person who said that statement? I am not sure if you've been out to anything he has come to but he is the guy I told you about who told me he was on the NYPD but really is a campus police officer. LOL.

I don't think it matters at all.

I think this is something that applies more to women.

I am generalizing, but there have been some articles where it says that women tend to get bothered when they date men with less education or make less money.

Could be a hold over from older times (20 years ago) where the man was expectd to have a higher status job, and make more money, therefore being the greater "earner".

I have a friend in his 40's that was shot down by a girl because she was more educated and made more money . . .

Men, on the other hand seem to care much less about that stuff. If she is good looking and compatible thats fine with us.

Men, on the other hand seem to care much less about that stuff. If she is good looking and compatible thats fine with us. [/B][/QUOTE]


TYPICAL GUY COMMENT. But I am wondering what most guys/girls are looking for for the LONG HAUL.

You'll probably just see me as an idealist but...
 

For the Long Haul I don't think (for me at least) it matters how much her annual salary is or what educational level she reached post high school. I'm more interested in her as a person than arbitrary supposed status indicators.

To address your underlying point I don't think different levels of education or wealth make two people necessarily incompatible; at all. Social graces also, can be present or missing in someone regardless of how affluent they are or were.

Co-sign. Like someone said before, just because someone has a typical "blue collar" job doesn't mean they aren't making just as much money, if not more than, someone with a "white collar" job. Does anyone remember that Frasier when Niles was freaking out because his plumber (also an old HS bully) was making more money, living in a nicer neighborhood, and driving an even nicer car than he was?

Diverse perspective...
 

In my arena, when I was dating, I have to deal with men that either had a police record or in the process of getting one...

Forget blue or white collar.

Then they lived in "they momma's house" and had "babies momma's dramas"...

So, I did not have very much luxury in chosing mates that were "upwardly mobile" or "BMW's"--shoo' I've dated garbage collectors who made 10X more $$$ than me and showed me an excellent time when they did not smell...

However, I CHOSE to marry a professional man because of our similarities of what we liked in life--our life values. And both he and I were looking for that "special someone", so the timing in our lives clicked...

It is a matter of what you want to deal with... If you want a "bring home the bacon man", then be prepared to be a "barefooted and pregnant housewife"...

If you want a "couch potato" who escorts you to your work related things without an ego--and OH do men have egos to protect--then you best be prepared to deal with a little boy toy-make-me-a-man-with-no brain... Those kinds of men are best "created" by you... But they do get beat up and picked on by the other kids...

If you want a man's man...then, you may have to ask what his preferences are... And if you havta question, then you may not wanna ask...:rolleyes:

If you want a man that treats you like a Princess, you had better watch your wallet and all you assets...

I could go on and on, but the main thing is what do you want to deal with?

If you were directing this at me, I wasn't complaining about it. Both my parents are highly paid for what they do - the one who didn't go to college has been in the same job for 25 years, hence the same level of pay as the other one.

I would have no problem dating a guy who didn't have the same educational level or job skills as I did, so long as he didn't belittle me for what I've acheived.

I'll be making bank though, so it's easy for me to say that.

This issue might matter more to woman as they get older also . . . although it never matters for men anywhere near as much.

call me shallow, but she has to bring as much to the table as i do.

Mentally or moneywise?

I don't care if the man I'm dating is a mechanic or a rocket scientist, so long as he makes me happy...granted I don't think a moron willl make me happy, but I think you can find smart people in unconventional career roles.

both. i'm well educated and a professional. taking care of and supporting are two different things.

Just for a different twist on this: my boyfriend grew up dirt (we're talking food stamps and government cheese) poor. His dad was a social worker and his mom was disabled and only worked intermittenly. He put himself through school on grants and student loans, worked his ass off and now makes a very good income. Meanwhile, I was a little bit of a spoiled brat. Suburbs, county clubs, didn't have to pay for my own cars, etc.
He's very, very smart, has a great work ethic and sense of financial responsibility and is pretty nice to boot. However, sometimes he shows more of a working class mentality and some blatant resentment towards those that didn't have to work as hard to get where they are.
So, how much do you guys think background plays a role in all of this? We all fundamently need the same values as our partner but do you think two people can arrive at the same point from extremely disparate starting points? Strangely, I think you can because we're doing okay so far.

Interesting perspective cuaphi, and I think you have a good point. BACKGROUND AND VALUES play A HUGE PART in this. My ex-boyfriend came from a similar background and the way he acts now you would think he comes from money. He even has a mahor attitude towards the majority of society (even clients I work with who are disabled) that "the situation they are in is their fault". Part of the reason I couldn't be with him any longer was because he currently spends way beyond his means and constantly was complaining about "spoiled people who don't have to work to get where they are". That is only a small part of why we broke up but goes along with what you are saying. However, I also know people with similar backgrounds that had to work hard to get where they are as well and don't have resentment towards anyone or anything, and have accepted what life has handed them. I also know many blue collar guys who are as sweet as pie and I wouldn't mind dating, I was just throwing out a topic with my original post based on what one blue-collar guy stated to me. Bottom line you cannot control who you fall in love with. I think we can all agree we have probably dated enough people who were bad for us and became attached to them despite if they were blue collar or white collar. Oh, everyone except JAMES of course. He is immune to bad relationships :)

I was trying to get at that, obviously you explained it better. You can be blue collar and still be intelligent and make a lot of money, but it is the upbringing that is significant. A person who grew up in a financially stable household will almost always view life differently from someone who has not.

This is just my observation...People who grew up disadvantaged tend to me more security-oriented, vigilant, resilient, and streetwise than those who didn't grow up disadvantaged. Those who have always had their needs fulfilled tend to be more idealistic, luxury-oriented, sensitive, and naive. Sooner or later there are going to be some clashes and some difficulty in relating. On the other hand, if both partners are adaptable and understanding, a relationship can work.

My take
 

I agree with the person who said that blue collar or white collar, you can't control who you fall for. However, speaking from personal experience, falling for someone whose background, education, etc. so drastically differs from yours is not easy.

My ex grew up in a trailer. I grew up in a stereotypical upper middle class suburb. He couldn't understand the concept of getting everything you want for Christmas without question; I couldn't understand the concept of NOT getting what you want all the time. He didn't understand why I went to college, and I didn't get why someone like him didn't want to go (he was fairly smart).

He thought I was a spoiled brat, and I just plain had a hard time relating to him.

Re: My take
 

http://www.agri-links.com/images/shutup.jpg

-Rudey
--I found this picture online...nice picture.

Cool. Maybe you should take its advice.

Will you buy me something since you can afford anything? Will you party with me in your small little town because you are such a big party girl?

-Rudey
--Little snot

I'll give you this, you seem to have a good memory for what I post.

-alikat2
--Time to go get drunk now

Getting drunk sounds pretty damn blue collar to me. Enjoy the Coors lights.

-Rudey
--And it's not hard to remember something when someone posts it 99 times

call me shallow but I would like to marry a man with a college degree... but I also understand that you can't help who you fall in love with... so while I would like a man with a college degree, if I happen to fall for one without then assuming that we could still relate and support ourselves I would marry him