Sex on the First Date
 

This is more directed to the guys. What are your thoughts on this? If a girl puts out on the first date, is that turn off? Granted we all know sex is never a turn off, at least good sex, but does it make you think twice about trying out the relationship? Does it ruin the chase? Just curious...

For myself speaking, I go with a general rule, I treat the girl with as much respect as she treats herself. If I go on a date with a girl and she puts out the first date I usually think that I'm not the only guy shes done this with, therefore she probably gets around. If we get into the situation to have sex on the first date and she says no, or says she wants to wait then I'll respect her more. Yes, I personally do like a chase, when a girl just gives it up yeah its nice, but i mean if i'm taking some girl out then I probably want her as a girlfriend. If its just some girl that wants to have sex, then i'll just take her over to my place and thats that....It also kind of depends on the situation, like how long you've been talking to each other, have u been friends before, have u hooked up before, things of that sort. I usually myself like a chase though...

Re: Sex on the First Date
 

We don't think about this. If the opportunity presents itself, we just do it.

It doesn't ruin the relationship if the sex is great, but that's all that the relationship will be about.

I'm all for it -- I don't see how it's a problem if you're both consenting adults and you're careful and having fun.

I don't have a problem with it just so long as both parties have the same expectations.

I pretty much attacked Mr. KR on our first date. LOL, I guess that's definitely TMI....

I sure hope my kids never read this :eek:

seriously.. that'll scar a kid.. i speak from experience.

depends...

if she wants me to respect her?

NO.



i've usually noticed that the more money you spend, the more likely they'll hold out.

Re: Sex on the First Date
 

I usually wait until the relationship she and I are trying to develop is Solid and we can trust each other.

There was a brilliant poster on GC named Schultz who said something like if they don't put out on the first date he doesn't date them again and if they do put out on the first date he doesn't date them again.

-Rudey

Sex on the first date is definitely not a turn off. I like having protected sex driven by animal urges.

But even with sex on the first date or not only her personality will get her a second date. So all you charming and witty females can stop holding out.

Personality impaired chics may wanna keep their legs crossed cuz if I find you boring its a wrap on anything else. Unless you are a PROFESSIONAL at tying cherry stems with your tounge.

Wow, finally a guy who gets it. I'm completely baffled by guys who say that a woman who has sex on the first date isn't worthy of respect or isn't dating material. WTF?

They have been listening to "female" propaganda for too long. ITs women that say that women that put out on the first date are whores.

yup you got it jamesy baby ;)

from a girls perspective- it depends on the guy and the situation if he doesn't call... well that sucks- but it was fun while it lasted- if he does- thats cool too- i know i'm taking a risk- i'm too experienced to let things like that bother me anymore and i don't think that its love either i'm too old for that line lol

LOL, no women I know talk like that. It's sad that some women feel the need to judge others like that.

That was pretty much the story with Mr. Sageofages. We had a date and I never went home....! Lots of years and 5 kids later, we say we are still on that *great* date :)

Even though I hope my parents aren't like this. Congrats to you for still being on that *great*date. :)

No no no no no no no - women are merely baby factories, meant to cut my cigar and pour my brandy. Her important features are her social propriety and moral purity - bleeding on the wedding night is of utmost importance. Swearing, sweating, working, voting, and wearing loose corsets are right out. Sex = bad, for serious guys . . . actually, not for serious guys, b/c it's apparently only bad for women. Lucky me!

-RC
--I'm late for the 4:40 autogyro to Prussia

It's all in the perspective. Depending on how the first date actually went and what the guy is like, the opinion he forms and the outcome could be very different from what it would be with someone else.

I have never had sex on the first date (or the second, or third, or 10th...) but have come really close very early on with some guys. I do think that it will make you appear as if that is all you are good for if you haven't established some other connection first.

what about those chicks who you don't have to take out?

Well according to social biology withholding sex is a mating strategy.

To give an example, lets say there was a girl that was fairly promiscious and known for having sex early and often . . . and lets say she met a guy she saw as a good potential long term prospect, potential husband material . . she might unconsciously decide NOT to sleep with him for some time.

The idea it to get him to establish a relationship by investing time and material into the relationship. It makes sense.

Personally, Day One of the Real Relationship starts for me AFTER I have had sex with the girl.

And the reason I say that is that I know that a lot of the stuff before that is artificial sexual tension. Me wanting to, but being denied.

Intercourse is a normal and important part of the relationship, Christain Vestal Virgins notwithstanding, So its only after that component is added that I can take stock and see how the path of the relationship is going.

My ex husband came on very strong on our first date and I set boundaries. He told me many years later (after we were married) that he would "test" his dates that way.. seeing how far he could get on the first date. If a woman didn't stop him, he wouldn't date her again, because he considered her a slut and he didn't want a long term relationship with a slut. I asked him what that made him?

*Some* men have weird ideas...

Dee

and this is what we call a hoe. not because she has sex early and often, but because of the fact that EVERYONE knows about it. if she meets a guy who knows her sexual history prior to them dating and knows about her numerous sexual exploits, and she has an epiphany and wants to close up the legs..that man WILL bounce because the tail that he knew was easy, was trying to be difficult. who wants to be the guy who turned the hoe into a housewife? that's what background checks are for.

If you were the guy looking for a long-term deal, isn't this what you want? Kinda like 'a lady in the street but a freak in the bed'? Or am I reading this wrong? Now I'm all sorts of confused.

no, what i'm trying to say is that i'm not trying to get a woman whose sexual history is front page news. the first part of that statement is a lady in the street. if her business is out there on front street....is she really acting like a lady?

Oink.

Gotcha. Thanks for the clarificiation.

:(

**Clutching my pearls as I attempt to add to an improper conversation**

Well, I get Starang's point. The issue for a lot of men is not whether or not their woman is experienced or has sex on the first date. The issue is whether or not the whole campus or town KNOWS about it. They don't want to know that all of their boys and half the campus/town have hit it. Most men and their egos cannot handle that. It's fine if you do your thing, just practice a little discretion. Everyone does not need to know your business.

Also, don't expect us to date you if you banged guys we know, especially if we don't think much of those guys.

Its like getting the leavings of someone that is not even in your social league. Ick.

[/i]

If I didn't think emoticons were the silliest things ever, this would necessitate the one that rolls its eyes perpetually.



Holy crap. The line I cut out for you is exactly the point - you're allowing a double standard to exist, and even chalking it up to some sort of 'male ego' as if it were something real, tangible, and unavoidable.

This is just like the "human nature" fallacy - you're allowing stupid behavior to occur under the guise of some sort of fictitious implicit flaw.

Don't.

hey, this is a double standard point blank. do i want my woman to be the town bike? hell no. she can get wifed up by some other guy, but it won't be me. besides, her reputation has already been tarnished in my eyes...i could give a sh*t if she's a born again virgin. her hoestory is news on the yard enough for me to never get her anything more than a dollar menu (if that). that's point blank, if i'm a pig for it..so be it, most guys think this....they just might not say it around women.

Dude, it's called sarcasm. Just a joke...ha ha. Oh, nevermind...





Double standards are unfortunate. However, it's silly to pretend that they do not exist.

People, stop the madness!! Even if you DO respect each other, sex on the first date sets a precedent and it difficult to get away from the fact that your relationship is literally based on sex.

This isn't about ego, its about the economics of sexual reproduction. Babies are resource intensive, and men want to know that they aren't raising someone else's baby.

why? if that was the case, maury povich would be out of a job.

What madness? If someone is a mature adult capable to making the decision to pursue a sexual relationship of any kind, then to each their own. No one is forcing you to do so, don't judge others and the decisions they make, plain and simple.

Relationships NOT based on sex are called friendships.

and there is no such thing between a man and a woman.

Funny, and true.