Attn. guys: TOO good looking??
 

Ok I searched and didn't find a thread for this.
I'm curious to throw this out there and see the responses it gets.

My guys and I have been talking about this recently- is it possible for a girl to be so hot/cute/attractive that it actually interferes with her meeting guys?

Of course there are girls that are so hot in person that she seems bitchy and unapproachable... but guys imagine some girl that you're really attracted to, that's also friendly, outgoing, smiley.... approachable .

How is it that the "homelier" girls get the digits or leave with a guy, while she goes home alone?? (Screw the inner personality thing temporarily- this is on a superficial level only, which I think the majority of people deal with when looking for a hookup at a bar.)



My friend says that no matter how friendly she is, if she's too attractive, her chances are slim. I say, since when are women supposed to make themselves ugly to go out?

You have GOT to be kidding me
 

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

Absolute B.S.

So a girl is searching for reasons why she is unsuccessful in the dating game and the conclusion she reaches is "well I'm just too attractive so much so to the point it intimidates guys!".

Oh please.

If someone finds some attractive they are attracted to them not repelled.

Perhaps these girls might like to think that arrogance, egotism and narcissism isn't exactly a turn on and is in fact a turn off for guys?
They need to work on that not uglifying themselves because they're "just too good looking for men to cope with".

Oh puhleeese!!!

:D :D :D

I agree with decadence.

I don't think one's complete and utter Helen of Troy beauty is a reson why she can't get a date.

These women have no class, not personality and no intelligence. That's why they can't get a date.
Ever watch Jenny Jones when they have the exoctic dancers on and they say "I am so beautiful and I can't get a date!"
Sorry lady, but it's because you're a beeyatch and a ho that you can't get a date!

No it's true. I had a roommate that could have passed for a brunette Barbie. And her personality was pretty good too. She got hit on a lot in bars and stuff, but never could find anyone.
I think it boils down to intimidation. Sort of a "I could never have that and I don't want to even try because I know I'll be rejected." It becomes an admiration from afar but never more than that. Same thing w/ guys. If a guy was just knock out I wouldn't even think of approaching him. He has better things to do than me.

Well that's just contradicting yourself!!

Firstly you start by saying she ***DID*** get approached often (underlined). Then the sentence continued by saying she was never satisfied with any of them. In other words agreeing with all the earlier responses by saying she was arrogant and self obsessed and believed no guy was good enough for her. :rolleyes:

Right.
She couldn't find anyone because no one would call her. Not because she wasn't satisfied. You read too much into it. She was not arrogant or anything. It always hurt her that she seemed good enough to flirt with but never good enough to be taken out.

Re: You have GOT to be kidding me
 

Whoa whoa whoa, I quoted you but this is to Lady P as well...
maybe I didn't explain well enough. (I'm thinking of a particular friend of mine who is 5'11, gorgeous, but prettier on the inside...) My friend Jamie is not the one who thinks she's attractive- it's quite the opposite, actually, she's a very down to Earth girl which is why I love her.

She is not the one who thinks she's God's gift. My male friends were the ones who very passionately suggested that when a girl is that pretty, she doesn't have much of a chance. It was THEIR theory, not hers- which is why I was so surprised. With the way they all agreed, it was like unknown "guy code" or something ;)

Lady P- I think it's really unfair to make such a blatant stereotype and call "hot" girls no class, no personalitied "beeyatches" and "ho's". I'm not talking about stripper types who whore themselves out with the way they dress and present themself- just a really pretty girl who goes out to have a good time.
Talk about knocking down your own gender....

Exactly. Actually, I don't think I've ever seen a guy ask for her #.

Re: Re: You have GOT to be kidding me
 

I'm not knocking down my own gender. When I see a girl who acts like a piece of trash, I'm going to call her a pice of trash. This does not include girls who like to go out and have a good time. Hell I like to go out and have a good time.

Now, your post was very vague. She's a pretty girl. Well I don't know how she acts. But let's give her the benefit of the doubt and say she's gorgeous, wonderful, out going personality, kind, friendly, smart, great conversationalist, etc, etc. Yes, her beauty probably does get in the way of her finding someone. Because some guys are just as insecure with themselves as women and they think they could never get a girl that beautiful. It all boils down to insecurity. She's probably just as insecure because she thinks no one is interested in her. This is when she'll have to take life into her own hands and approach the guys.

Pip you can't respond to this.

Anyway, I've seen this happen a lot - several of my high school friends were GORGEOUS women. One in particular, who I will call "L," was always really sad she never had a boyfriend or never got dates. My friend A had a huge crush on L, but never acted on it, saying that she was way out of his league, she would never give him the time of day, even though they were in classes together and talked a lot, sat at the same lunch table, all that jazz. Well, senior year, my then-boyfriend talked A into asking L to prom, and she got scared - because it was her first date! They ended up having a great time, and I think L is now engaged to somebody else, but the point is that L was this amazing girl that guys were terrified to approach even though I know she would have dated them.

So the moral of the story, ladies, is that it's good to be average: When it comes down to hot girl, heiffer at the end of the bar, and you, you're the one getting the digits. ;)

I was talking to the wife of one of my co-workers. She is absolutely gorgeous....a real life Barbie. At the same time, she is completely down-to-earth. She was telling me about how her daughter, age 10, wants to get into cheerleading. She was telling me that she didn't think it was a good idea. When I asked her why, she said, "I was a cheerleader in high school. You would think that would have gotten me dates but it actually ended up hindering me." She said that guys were afraid to approach her since she was a cheerleader and cheerleaders have a stereotype about them. Plus, she was Homecoming Queen and Senior Class President. All the guys thought that she would think she was too good for them. She didn't have her first date until college!
She told me about how she ran into her high school crush in college and she had the guts to tell him that she use to like him. He told her that he wished he had known because he would have been all about dating her.
She's afraid that if she puts her daughter in cheerleading that she will have the same problem getting dates that she once had.
I definitely think there's such a thing as being too beautiful. There's some guys out there who are completely intimidated by that and don't think the girl would ever go for them.

Re: Re: You have GOT to be kidding me
 

Wait wait wait....she's 5'11 and she's having a hard time with men? WTF is going on up there in Chicago? :confused:

:eek: :eek:

Being good looking has to be ranking as unimaginably low down in any list of reasons I might not ask a particular girl out!!

I remember once listening to some radio show a few years back. This woman had rung in with this 'complaint' saying she didn't get asked out but - in fact because - she was really attractive (mmm, ok...). A guy rang in and said 'hey give her my number or give me hers' :D tho the DJ said he wasn't gonna run a dating service.

I think it's all in their heads or they're on crack, or something. :confused:

It definitely happens.

Actually, now that I think about it, some of the prettiest girls I knew in high school (who, yes, happened to have good personalities) dated the least.

A lot of guys are insecure and won't go after a girl they don't think they have a chance with. Also, they're more likely to assume a beautiful girl already has a boyfriend.

A lot of beautiful girls tend to be more insecure about their looks (strangely enough). The whole thing about guys being attracted to confidence is true. Looks aside, a confident girl is more likely to send out those approach-me signals.

And then there are the beautiful girls who might have great personalities, but because they've been able to get by on their looks, their personalities tend to be kind of bland until you get to know them better.

I'm sure there are other reasons for it too.

I think this whole thing is crap!
Girls seem to think it definitely happens...guys haven't said much but that they think it's bullshit (possibly b/c they don't want to admit they're intimidated?).
So now we're not supposed to look as cute as we can when we go out?? I can't win...

Just look at it this way. Boys are stupid. Throw rocks at them. Maybe, if you hit one of them in the head, you'll knock some sense into them.

Its also a matter of quality guys approaching. Anyone can get hit on, beautful or ugly, but in bars lets take a look at most of the guys doing the macking. Most quality guys in bars won't try to pick up girls. They are either intimitadated, afraid, or won't date a girl they meet in a bar. I think no matter how you look its hard to meet a good guy. But I definitly think being the extreme will hinder you. I've guy friends that specifically date average girls, because they think those girls care able to be trusted more since they are average in the looks department :eyeroll:

Maybe I can use this thread to console myself when I consider that I can count on my fingers the number of times I've been asked out. :)

Jules, when you come to Milwaukee this summer, let's make ourselves ugly and then go out to the bars and see if this works.

We can report our findings on GC.

I'm so happy I don't have this problem!!!
:rolleyes:

Is it possible to make ourselves fugly?

KIDDING.

I think this is a subject definitely worthy of Harem field research. I know who can do our makeup ;)

TERRIBLE! but I'm so there.

You'll still be a baby, youngun.

NO BARS FOR YOU.

She might be a youngin - BUT I'M NOT!!! Indiana is close enough to Wisconsin - I'm in :) But please, that makeup would repel men, not attract them, we want to be average, not hideous :P ;)

And i have definitely seen this problem in action... I have this absolutely drop dead gorgeous friend, we'll call her Sara. Sara never dated much in high school and when she got to college she didn't have much luck either. Sure guys would hit on her at parties and in bars, ask for her number, and all that good stuff (but she didn't go home with them - maybe that's the problem? she's gorgeous and not a slut) when it came down to it these guys would never call her. Sara seriously began thinking she was ugly (so far from the truth) and when a guy finally did show interest in her, she held onto him for dear life and stayed in a crappy relationship b/c she thought no other guy would want her.

Jules, I think you and your friends are correct in your theory.

I have talked about this with people also. Being beautiful can be a liability in some ways. And keep in mind that beautiful and hot are different. Hot can be a combination of dress and attitude and sends a highly sexual message.

Beautiful is something else again.

ITs a tension thing. You know how when you really like someone you feel tense around them at first? Self conscious etc?

Well beauty inspires that at first sight. Especially if the person does not normally date beautiful women. IT can be quite daunting. Alcohol tends to uhm . . . lower tension levels making it easier to talk to these girls, but you have to sober up some time and maybe the next day you feel less than confident.

It would probably help if the girl actually kissed him or something before the night was over.

Isn't the same thing true with girls also? I have been in great-shape, in horrible shape and everywhere in between. . .

And I can honestly say that I probably have gotten the most amount of actual girls coming up to me when i was closest to just being average.

Which made no sense to me at all until another girl said it had to do with intimidation.

So actually for a really beautiful girl it might pay her to dress down a little when she goes out. She is already there, she doesn't need to heighten it, and more guys will find her approachable.

Also, there is something about a girl in Full-Girl-Armor, make-up, dressed to kill, proper accecories that makes her seem a little less aproachable.

Kind of like girls telling me that its somehow easier to approach guys that don't tuck their shirts in lol . .. .

co-sign

I'm far from "TOO good looking". However, it is strange whenever I go to places, the girls who are uglier and BITCHIER, get hit on more than me. I think a variation of this is when you look your worst, guys hit on you the most. Whenever I'm wearing my glasses, a baseball cap, and no make-up, guys tap on my windshield for phone #s at drive thrus. Whenever I go to homecoming and other places where I dress extremely well NO guy hits on me. :mad: :mad: :mad:

yeah, you're nice on the eyes...

:D

I agree with this! When you dress to the nines, it's more like you're dressing for the girls. And the times where you just throw on any old thing, minimize the accessories, etc... you have to beat the guys off with a stick. Why is that? Maybe guys just don't like chandelier earrings? :)

See I explain that in the last part of my long post. :p

I think most guys feel that girls overdo it on makeup and hair. I think it has to do with confidence and appearing comfortable in your own skin. A guy friend told me he doesn't trust girls who wear a lot of makeup because he's afraid they may be scary to wake up next to. If a girl goes easy on the makeup, then a guy has a decent idea of what she'll look like in real life.


Guys?? :confused:

Jules,
I really don't want to hear that BS. You have been to the same places as me and you've seen the same pretty girls as me and these really very pretty girls are never alone.

Also have you given thought that some of these girls never make any effort to go and be friendly talking to other guys? Ugly girls always talk to guys, but the really hot ones make you work. Sometimes it's just easier to just take what lands on your plate.

-Rudey
--Me...I seem to have no problem dating hot chicks, sometimes taller, sometimes shorter, sometimes blonder, always dumber than me

Thanks. :):o

Maybe this could happen in the state of Utah, but not anywhere else... Why? because of alcohol. Where there's a hot chick and alcohol nearby there will be a guy intoxicated enough to think he's invincible and of course he will go up to the girl...

Conclusion: The hot chick is square and doesn't get out enough!

Haven't read this whole thread, but I think some guys assume that girls that are "too good looking" will be super high maintenance too. I would think that scares some of them off.

Very well stated..

There is a dfference between hot and beautiful. Hot is easier to approach because its a straight sexual mesage.

But usually, if someone is unapproachable there may be some personality issues involved.

Maybe she's a freak of nature- I think I'm going to go tell her that.

She's really outgoing, but not obnoxious. She's not afraid to strike up a conversation with the guy she's interested in. She's a social drinker, likes to dance.

As OTW would say, we here at AXJules are mystified.

OMG!!! :eek:

While I do think that this is an excellent research opportunity for members of the H&A, lets not get totally carried away!!! Imagine if she did all of our makeup, my god the whole world would probably die from fright after seeing so many girls looking like her.

Plus if she did our makeup I'd have to spend like 10 days trying to chisel the crap off...and really my time is too valuable for that. ;)

So maybe we should get one of her sorority sisters to do it for us? Or maybe her cousin, aunt, some sort of distant relative. We'd still get some of the effect that way I think, but it wouldn't be over the top like her. :D

And I don't think me being too beautiful has ever been an issue. I think guys are intimidated by me b/c I am loud and obnoxious and I more than likely make fun of them within the first 5 minutes of meeting them...I guess I should try and work on that...:confused: :( :)

I know this is true.

My psychology professor told us that numerous studies have been done that prove that attractive women generally go on less dates than average women in college.

My ex also told me this was true. He told me that if I hadn't approached him first, he sure wasn't going to approach me because my looks intimidated him- he thought he no chance. He's told me that several times,...even after we broke up and were friends, I told him I was having trouble getting a date in college, and he swore up and down that was the reason why.

It's true. Ugly guys would come up cuz they have nothing to lose but the good looking guys wont even try unless you make it obvious that you are interested. When I was in college, I met some guys from HS or talk to them online and they said they had crush on me or they would notice me around but never had guts to ask me out. I was like....... I thought people didnt like me cuz i was deaf but didnt have a clue i intimidated some guys. In fact I remember my freshman year, a guy gave a letter to the teacher to give me, cuz he seen me around and was afraid to come up to me cuz i made a comment to my friend that if a guy approached me I would kick his ass lol........ he has a class with that friend LOL...also a lot of people assume you have a man or that you are a snob cuz you look good. I notice guys come up to me when i have my period or didnt have time to put on makeup or cute outfit y a know.......i would never understand this until later in college LOL............