Worst Pick-up Lines
 

Hello everyone, I felt bad about bringing down the morale of the board, so I decided to post something that would generate a few laughs (lord knows I need some laughs). A few days ago in a similar forum's chat, we talked about this. What is the worst pick-up line someone has ever said to you? Or if men are reading, what is the worst pick-up line you have ever used?
Ok, I will start.... I walked into Dillard's and this guy follows me in the store, (he was breathing hard as if he had been chasing me). He says, "Excuse me, you dropped something." Guess what this idiot pulls out of his pocket.....an empty chewing gum wrapper!! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gifI couldn't help but laugh in his face, I said, " You mean to tell me you chased me down the mall, to give me an empty chewing gum wrapper?! By the way, I don't even chew that brand of gum!" What a sorry pick-up. I mean, if he wanted to impress me he could have pulled out a hundred dollar bill and told me I dropped that. I would have gladly accepted it. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

O.k. Mizzkes,you know I have to get in on this one!
I'll take it a step further, I have some of the corniest pick-up lines AND comebacks for them.
I know how to please a woman...then please leave me alone
Is this seat empty?...yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.
I want to give myself to you...sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.
I can tell you want me...yes, I want you to leave.
Baby, I'd go through anything for you...Let's start with your bank account.
Your place or mine...both, You go to your place and I'll go to mine.
and the most popular pick-up line to date:
Haven't i seen you some place before?...Yeah, that's why i don't go there anymore.

mizzkes..

see, i would have fell for something like that...depending if he was cute.

the worst pick up line...i've ever heard was...

Baby, I'm no Fred Flinstone, but I can make your Bedrock!

Are you from Tennessee? Cuz you're the only ten I see!

My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime.

i think i've heard them all...


http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif



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MaMaBuddha
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Prince Hall #27

Sexy Mocha, I've heard those before but you got me LOL again! MaMaBuddha, those are bad.

O.K., I must say that the "best/worst lines" I ever heard were when I went to the Bayou Classic. Brothers were REALLY CREATIVE down there. In no particular order (drumroll, please):

1) Make 'em say ugnnhhhhh!!! Na na, na na!!!!
2) Girl, you are like Kentucky's, finger lickin' good!!!
3) I just wanna be with you!!!!!

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Celebrate life, in all its amazing glory!!!

The worst things I've heard are:

1. "Shawty what yo name is?"
2. When a guy whistles to get your attention (like he's whistling at a dog; and
3. when he goes "Psst....Pssst....Shawty!...I know you heard me!" As I keep walking http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

[This message has been edited by PinkCashmere (edited July 20, 2000).]

PinkCashmere,
Girllllllll, where are you FROM? You MUST be from Atlanta!!!! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

Another good one is:
Psssst...Hey Shawty, can I holla at you for a minute?

Then, when you say no, or just keep walking they say:

I didn't want to talk to yo ugly a** anyway, B****!!

Yeah, right! So why were you psssst'ing at me then???

[This message has been edited by Eclipse (edited July 20, 2000).]

Eclipse,
Girl, I may as well be from Atlanta. I am close enough to it. (Only a few minutes away.)

PinkCashmere,

I think they do that all over the South. I'm in Texas, and "psst, psst" (and everything else you mentioned) is QUITE popular here. I do hate to hear that, too.

[This message has been edited by KittyKat (edited July 20, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by KittyKat (edited July 20, 2000).]

Here are some bad lines I've encountered.

1. How are you?
My response: fine
I didn't ask you how you look I asked how you were doing.

2. Are you married?
If I don't like them my response is...Yes I am married.
But are you happy?

3. Girl you so fine you can make Ray Charles see.

4. Are you married?
I show him my ring pretending like I'm married.
He tells me girl that's an engagement ring. This is a wedding ring and flashes his ring and says, "So can I have your number?"

5. Hey Hey Girl you got a boyfriend?
My response....yes
But do you cheat?

6. Hey Red, Red (I'm iggin him) Red I know you hear me talkin to you. All you red gals try to act stuck up. Gone on then I didn't want you no way.

7. Hey can I holla at you for a second, you know what I'm saying, what's up, you know what I'm saying, how old you is, you know what I'm saying, you got a man, you know what I'm saying.......

Can we say ughhhhhhhhh!

PinkCashmere- it is a southern thing, because here in Florida I hear the same thing. "What yo name is?" Is that even a sentence? I mean, really. I used to have my hair cut really short, a natural, do you know guys would have the nerve to say "Hey Baldhead!!" I would get so mad!! I had a gas station attendant tell me "I want me a college girl". Of course my reply was "Well you need to go to college!!" I mean, really, you are 25, you pump gas for a living and expect to marry a doctor, let's be for real here http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif

I forgot to mention...I'm in the south also, TN. Some of these southern guys are something else.

Hey everybody. I think I need to get in on this one. It's not really a pickup, but it's cute anyway. A guy friend of mine was telling me about a girl that he'd met. I asked here what she looked like, and he said: "On a scale of 1 to Jada, she's about an 8." Now isn't that too cute?

This olllllllllld man was trying to pick me up one day on the train, and even after I gently turned him down several times, he still didn't get the point. So after ten minutes of, "I could take care of you, yadda, yadda, yadda..." I turned to him and was like "How, with your social security check?" After he got over his initial chagrin, he says, "Dang you aint got to get all high and mighty Miss Thang! Shooo, I just thought I knew you from somewhere." So I politely turned to him and said: "Perhaps you have, I work in the STD office. Is that cream working?" Needless to say "Grandpa" left me alone.
http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif HumbleBumbleBee http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

Humblebumblebee I am ROTFL! That is too funny! I'm going to have to use the STD line.

Yall have me Rolling on the floor!!!!! Pssssst Psssssssst is pretty popular in Indiana and Illinois so maybe that one is just nationwide. I hate when a brother addresses me with HEY! One time I was out and I was wearing this Black Dress and this had the nerve to call me saying "hey black dress come here" ooooo i did not like that. Then his friend walks over and says "Look I am not going to be calling talkin bout some hey black dress, I am just going to be real and girl i want them digits." I was so taken back by their approach my only comeback was there is nothing wrong with wanting and I walked off. In Chicago I swear they say shawty so much you would think we are all wearing a nametag that said our name was such http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif. ooooooo and what about men who stop you claiming to want directions? In Chi-town the brothers act like women are scarce because they act mighty desparate.

My BIGGEST PET PEEVE in the world is when a group of guys or even just one guy STARES at me. I can take all the dumb pick up lines in the world as opposed to being stared at like they have never seen a woman.

Whatever happened to a man just stepping to you with a simple "Hello my name is *** whats yours or something similar?

I had a guy to ask me for directions and say he was from out of town and he was lost with a carload full of guys. You know good and well all of them didn't pile in that car for a road trip. Why do some men think that if they get your attention while in a car, that you're supposed to walk over to the car in the hot sun while they sit inside in the air? Pleazzeeeee! Anyway I declined he had, A MOUTH FULL OF GOLD TEETH, and I'm not into the bling bling. Can we say STOP! Well when he pulled away his plates were in state and the bad part about it was he went opposite of the directions I gave.

I had another gold teeth brother ask me for my number, he didn't say which number, so I gave him the number to the nearest police precinct because it was a crime to have that many gold teeth in one mouth. He had a jheri curl also and yall know jheri curls cause crime. I did the women of this city a favor. Ok I'm done cause I feel like I'm venting lol.



[This message has been edited by Total Elegance (edited July 22, 2000).]

Yuck I hate gold teeth!!!! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/frown.gif any brother that step to me with those, no matter what his pick up line is, gets nuttin!!!!

Hello Ladies! "Psssst, Psssst" and "Hey Shawty" are definitely nationwide! Now listen to this one, I was in a Jamaican restuarant waiting for my food when two men walk in. The oldest man (around 50 years old) began telling me how he teaches 5th grade, the children are bad because they don't listen, etc. Then he asks me when I graduated college because I look like an educated sister. But what really got my attention was when he asked, "How old you is?" EXCUSE ME, you teach the 5th grade and have the nerve to ask how old I is! My question is, who is teaching who? Needless to say my daughter will NOT be attending that school!

OH, I am totally feeling this topic. And yes, yes, yes, that psst, shawty what yo name is, is nationwide. But the worse pick-up line I ever had was a couple of weeks ago on the train (like I'm not going to get a bunch of bad lines there). An old man was sitting next to me on the train. I know someting was about to go down because he kept staring at me, but all of a suddened he said "You hair looks good" then started talking like we had know each other for years. Then he asked me for my number and when I said no, he complimented me on my hair agian like that would make me give up the digits. I'm sorry but I'm just NOT that desparate for a man!

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Reach for the Moon, because even if you miss, you will still be among the stars!
-unknown

[This message has been edited by Caramelattsu (edited July 24, 2000).]

My co-workers think I'm crazy! I'm ROTFL! I love this thread. MizzKes, thank you for starting it and thanks to everyone for providing some really good laughs. I, too, hate the "psst" thing and high school boys hitting on me. Aaaauuuuggghhhhhh!!!!!!

Hey Ladies....
I have been totally embarassed in a public place with "Hey you" (and if someone else looks, they say), "NO not you...the one with dem big thighs!"

Or what about if you are out with your significant other and some guy, or group of guys is staring you down, and your mate is looking at you like you are doind something to warrant this unwanted attention. How can some guys be sooo disrespectful.

But yes, I am sad to say..that right here in SC, I too, have heard "Hey shawty, what yawl name ius" (yes I spelled it liked it sounded!!!) This guy did that to one of my girls, and she was like "Honey, I am so far out of your league, we're playing different sports!" Needless to say all 4-5 of us fell out, and homeboys pride was hurt b/c he got read in front of his boys. what did he say...the only comeback possible for an uneducated fool, "That's a-ight, that's a-ight, You ain't all that anyway, shoot"

WHOOOO, I like this thread....keep it coming ladies http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

"Hey girl, can I holla at you for minute?"
My Response: "I have a boyfriend."
His reply: "So what, I got a girlfriend..."

This was the winner for me:

"I know you married an' all, but dang, you be lookin' all cute and err'thang...."

Huh?

To me, ANY pick up line that includes "I know you're married, but..." is just awful! In the immortal words of Soror Jada to Tupac on "A Different World"... my first name is not Ho, and my last name is definately not -Tel.

I felt I had to share this with you ladies, I could NOT resist <Beware this is a long post>!!!
... I am walking with a group of my friends the other day when this guy tries to get me over to his car by saying the (in)famous http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif "Hey Shawty what's up? Can a ni**a holla fo' a minet (minute)?" I ignored him and continue to walk down the street. After he FOLLOWED us in his car for like 6 blocks "pssssing" I turned around and cut my eyes at him http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/mad.gif. So he gets out of the car looking like a extra from the ORIGINAL Shaft. This man had to be at least 40 years old (FYI: I am 19), and refuses to believe that the jheri curl will NEVER make a comeback. So while he stands in front of me with the most FOUL breath I have ever smelled telling me how he will take care of me (de ja vu right? **note see first post**), I politely told him, "Excuse me but I am here (gesturing over my head with my hand) and you are here (gesturing around my navel). Need I say more?" http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif Then I turned and walked away. This man cursed me out somethin' fierce all the way to my destination (yes he continued to follow me) and threw a beer bottle at me. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif I was pissed, but I didn't let it ruin my spirit because my new girlfriend was having a bar-b-q that afternoon and I had to get something to wear. After I got to the Q, my girl was introducing me around to all her friends and family then she introduced me to the head chef, her dad. He turned around and (You guessed it!!!) her dad was no other than the Supafly reject from earlier in the day. All I could say was "small world" before I LMAO!!!!!!!!!! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/tongue.gif
http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif HumbleBumbleBee http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

***lol & shrieking @ humble's post***

Oh my, now THAT's funny. And he threw a beer bottle at you?

Bumblebee,

You had me cracking up! Her dad? What was his expression when he saw you? That is too funny.....and yes, I'm going to have to borrow that STD line.

After reading some your stories, I've realized I'm not the only one with the old man sign. You know...the one that says, "All old men stop and talk to me." Why do old men think they can date/talk to a woman 20-30 yrs. their junior????? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/confused.gif

One of the worst I've heard is:

"Is your husband married?"

The first time I heard this I must admit, I was seriously thrown off. My husband? I don't have one. Which is what they want to hear.

Also, I had one man who actually had the audacity to tell me, "Dang, you sure have some big t*tt*es. I mean, did he expect me to think that was cute?? The lengths they go to.

While shawty is nationwide, Ma is the newest thing on the East Coast. "Hey Ma, how you doing?" is on the rise to gain the acclaim from men that shawty has. I mean ma sounds decent compared to some of the other choice words people use, but then the thought of being called some man's mother........I don't know.

Take Care,
Cookee

Now Humble, that was a great post. You had me laughing so hard and loud. That was really a shame. You can't leave us hanging. What did he say after the introduction?

Not a member of your org, but this thread is too funny. This is gonna be kinda long, sorry. I don't even know how many tacky lines I've been given. 80% of them happened in the 5 month period I was in Zimbabwe. I mean, dang. I had a lot and I wrote them in my journal (which I don't have with me now). For some strange reason, the only two I can think of now are:

I just bought some bread. Wanna share it?
http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/confused.gif and
"Don't you have a boyfriend?"
and I say "no"
and he says "Aren't you horny?"
What?!

And then there were always the guys at the bus stops when I was like 14-17. Dirty old men. One kept telling me how much he liked my feet!

Bumblebee, your story was too funny and I admire you for your self-control cuz I believe I would have lost my mind and gotten myself beat down on the street. Some group of boys (maybe 5 or so) yelled disgusting things at me (also back in Zimbabwe) and I got into the biggest screaming match with them, me inside a telephone booth and the rest of them surrounding the booth and hollering at me.

Just a month or so ago, I was walking in Seoul (in korea now) and some guy asked me for change and when I wouldn't give it to him, do you know he grabbed my butt! I was going to let it go but then I saw he was laughing at me and let me tell yall, I chased that fool for 10 solid minutes until I finally caught him, yelled at him in the best Korean I could manage, and then slapped him a few times.

And do you know, after talking to a guy (also in Korea) for one hour in a coffee shop, he asked me what size panties I wore? And when I asked why he wanted to know, he told me some silly story about how his friend owned an underwear store and he would get me some for free!

I'd better stop now, but this has just been too funny.

This topic is too funny. Hi again ladies. I'm a sisterfriend from Chicago. I don't post too often, but I read a lot. I'm starting to think that I have the old man magnet also. A couple of weeks ago, some 40+ year old man wearing snakeskin shoes in the 80 degree weather http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif walked up and asked me for directions. That was cool until he decided to stay and wait with me on the bus stop. The bus was on its way in about 5 minutes (THANK GOD!!!) He shook my hand, held it and said, "Girl, if fine was a crime, you'd have a life sentence!" All I could say was, "Yeah, okay, bye" and get on the bus as fast as I could.

Some of the other lines I've heard include:

"I like your shoes." That's just as bad as "I like your hair."

"Are you pregnant?" My reply: "NO!" http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/mad.gif "Do you want to be?"

A Nigerian man said, "In my country, you'd be an old maid. I just want to make some friends."

If those weren't bad enough, I had a drunk 30 something year old slur, "You're the most beautifullesssss girl in the hole wide wurl. Can I get yo numba?" (spelled just like he said it).

Will the madness never end? I thought it would end because I have a boyfriend, but these guys are the first to ask "Are you happy?" or "Oh, so I guess you're doing the faithful thing, huh?" http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/confused.gif

I'm going to end there, but ladies, I would love for this topic to continue. You all have me cracking up at work. :-)

Optimistic1

Hello Ladies, I have to comment on this one this guy asked me if he could "Taste my heaven"!!!!!

Ok..ok..I have to get in on this!

I am sooo tired of being called Ma!(I believe it is an East Coast thing!) A typical "come on" in Brooklyn goes a little like this:

Yo ma...Ma what's up...I'm saying ma...I can't talk to you?...Oh, it's like that ma?...Come on ma...don't be like that ma...Ma, I can't get them digits ma? But I'm saying though ma...I'm saying though.....I can't talk to you shawty...You can't give a brotha 5 seconds? Don't be like that ma... yadda yadda yadda

God forbid you keep it moving and don't say anything....

Oh it's like that ma...it's like that? I'm saying...you all that ma?

At which point I turn around and speak my first words: "THAT'S RIGHT!! I MUST BE ALL THAT FOR YOUR STUPID *SS TO BE FOLLOWING ME DOWN THE BLOCK, SAYING DUMB THINGS!"

Yesterday I was walking up to my door with McDonald's bags in my hand. My new neighbor yells from across the street "Hey gul, I can watch you eat dem fries?" http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif

Mocha I must agree with you. Ma is definately an East Coast thing. I'm a sisterfriend from DC and go to school in Boston. Everything is A Ma...can i talk to chu fo a minut. Ma this and ma that. it's annoying. Dont forget that though is spelled "dough"

One bad line was:
"Do you make friends" Yes "Can we be friends" No

I love when guys are all like you look so good today...I answer, I know i went to work where'd you go.

Gold teeth are not sexy! They smell bad because of the tooth decay under them!

Some guy actually told me how I reminded him of a fresh, hot cheeseburger, with a golden brown bun, with special sauce and melted cheese dripping onto the paper. And then said, "Yo mamma sure must know how to bake". WHAT IS THAT ??????

I just wanted to say that "ma," is not just an East Coast thing. I live in Michigan, and they just make me sick saying it.

I think one of the worst pick up lines I've ever heard was...

Ay gurl, can I dip my nuts in yo' chocalit?

And this fool was serious!!!

I know that I'm very late on this one but I had to post.

Me and my friend were driving from the beach on summer day, singing along to whatever happened o be on the radio that day. Up zooms two guys in a nice looking car riding at exact pace becide us. These fools are all hanging out of the window. The guy in the passenger seat leans out and yells - Is ya'll gay?! If so we can swing like that with ya'll!!!
WHAT?!
And he had the nerve to have a big ole gold tooth in the very front of his mouth.
And my all time favorite line: Damn girl, yo ti:roll eyes:ies is big. They must make yo back hurt. Can I hold em' for you?

O.K. I'm done.

Listening to these stories, I am astounded. I can't believe. . .there are so many men with gold teeth.

see i coulda started a new thread but i know how u moderators hate that so i went digging around in the basement and found this one...
I just had to bring it up because i got a note on blackplanet today from some guy who goes "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" now if that aint a line to send a sista screamin and runnin from thise crazy people on the net then i dont know what is. I whish u could send a dummy slap via internet... http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif

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Kellogs @}~~`~~,~~

Ladies, I think I have heard them all. Here are two I was SOOO fortunate to receive (eyes rolling) this weekend alone.

guy: Girl, can I call you matches?
girl: Why?
guy: 'Cuz you sure are striking.

guy: Girl, do they call you mosquito?
girl: No...
guy: Well, you sure are fly.

I think these should go down as the absolute corniest in history.

Girl I feel you on that one!! I just don't understand why they think that it's a compliment for them to be staring @ you!! The first thing I'm thinking is that my button is open or I have a boogie in my nose http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/redface.gif !! I think most guys just have no cooth!!