[Poll] Hon etc...
 

Straw poll:

Inspired by a recent comment on here...

I often see terms of endearment such as 'hon' 'kitten' 'honey' etc online. I also see them employed to soften what a poster is 'saying', in the same way emoticons are widely used to indicate something should be taken in a positive spirit. I do not (from the posts I recall) draw the conclusion they are used here with intent to patronise, compartmentalise or perceive people using them to be wielding imagined gender superiority?

But:

Female GC'ers, do you find use of these terms offensive in this GC context?
Please answer yes/no.

don't women use those words, too?

Chick, Hon etc
 

I hadn't really thought about the feminist concept angle, starang21.
But yes, women, including women who specifically self-identify as feminists may well use it. Feminists in the correct context of equality not supremacy obviously.

Hello! POLL anyone? lol :D !!

Women use terms of endearment in casual ways more than men do Decadence.

So you suggest it's do as I say not as I do? :p
 

I use them casually and pleasantly. Et je suis un homme.

I agree with you Twostep . . good reference.

That's the most ridiculous thing I've heard in a long time. I'm curious as to who said it.

As for the poll -- I can't give a simple yes or no answer. I wouldn't call it offensive, but I don't like it when guys call me hon or honey or whatever, and I dislike the word chick.

ahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!

i'm glad that wasn't written by you because has to be hands down the most asinine comment i've ever heard.

I don't mind it since I often use sweetie or hon when talking to people.

Re: So you suggest it's do as I say not as I do? :p
 

Et vous etes un 'brit', non?

In the US, I have a feeling I'd get bitch slapped if I used that phrase in casual conversation with women. Must be different on the other side of the Atlantic.

This is just ridiculous. Where did you find this?

I do not mind when people use sweetie/hon/whatever with me, as long as we are on a comfortable, friend level. When I have never even met you and your greeting is "Babe can you use a different computer? My disk is in that one." I'm insulted and pissed. It just implies that we're friends or that you can take liberties my friends do...it's kind of hard to explain, but also related to my other pet peeve- when people call me Jules. Kind of ironic, on here its all I'm called, which is fine b/c it's my screen name...but IRL if you're not a good friend of mine it will really piss me off. For some reason I get the feeling you're going to take advantage of me.....

I know, I'm strange.

I can't stand when certain people call me sweetie..It instantly raises my bloodpressure and I cringe.I can't tell them because it would cause more problems than it's worth.

Same as decadence on this one. Mais je suis une femme.

English please?

Re: Re: So you suggest it's do as I say not as I do? :p
 

Just as a point, in Britain - Bristol, England to be specific - I was routinely called "luv" ( as in, a cab driver saying, "Where to, luv?") and "babber" ( as in, "Awlrite me babber?" )

luv = love

babber = baby/friend

Awlrite me babber = Hey, how's it going? ("Alright my friend?")

Heh, if you all are having this much trouble with "hon" and "sweetie," you haven't seen the world. ;)

I luved liven in Bristle, I did. Tho, mauve yer in Californiawl now. I luved me those cabbies; them blokes is mint. When I wonna lern the krekt waiter's peak Brissle, I ast them, I does. Them smart innum?

Whas fink of ee then me babber?

:D

.....Kelly :)

Sorry; it just means that I'm a girl :)

Thanks. I only took 6 years of Spanish, but nothing else. :D I assumed femme was related to female somehow, but we all know what assuming does.

It's all situational, but for the most part, I don't mind terms of endearment being used casually - unless you can tell it is in a patronizing, mean-spirited way... In which case, my reply would be "F**k you, sweetie!" :)

If it's someone I don't know, or if the context is clear (like if something bad happened "oh sweetie" is okay), then they're fine.

But if it's from someone I don't know or don't really get along with or if the context is unclear, it can annoy me. Sometimes they can come off as patronizing.

I use the term "hon" a lot IRL, but only to people I know and that I know it doesn't annoy...

Re: Re: Re: So you suggest it's do as I say not as I do? :p
 

I've been around.

I'm just saying that where decadance lives (and you corroborate this), things like "sweetie", etc. are commonly used.

Where I am, in Oklahoma, at least in my circles, it is considered something that you'd use condescendingly.

It's ALL about "tone" for me.

Re: Re: Re: Re: So you suggest it's do as I say not as I do? :p
 

I wasn't trying to disagree with you; I was only trying to be informative about the different kinds of terms found in different places! :)


.....Kelly :)

as long as it's not being used in a patronizing way... there's a lot worse things someone one could call me IMO

I'm not offended. If someone were to call me hun or sweetie in a patronizing way, well, there are a lot of worse things I could be called, so I really don't care.

I know I'm not a female so my vote might not count, but I live in the South and I love it when an older lady calls me hon, sweetheart, sweetie etc. such as when I go to a restaurant.

Just my $.0156658 worth
Mark

My personal feeling...
 

No man should call me hon, sweetie, sugar, or any other diminuitive unless he knows me well.

No one, male or female, should call me gal. Ever.

co-sign!!!

Ditto on whoever "ahahahaha"ed this. Give me an effin' break.


And I agree that using these terms pleasantly is fine, I'm all for it -- but often online (especially on GC) they are used in a much more patronizing manner (coughJamesI'mlookingatyoucough). It's annoying, but at the same time it's not something that's going to raise my blood pressure. I mostly just ignore it.

Doesn't bother me (in fact I kind of like it!) as long as it's in a pleasant tone. It's the patronizing ones that make my blood boil.


I'm extremely guilty of calling random people and small children "hon" or "sweetie". As in "You dropped something out of your purse, hon" or "Where's your mommy, sweetie?"

If I've offended anyone with it, they haven't shown any reaction!