overseas relationship
 

ok- so i haven't been on gc that much due to the fact that i've met a guy- a wonderful- sweet- loving- caring... british guy and damn gorgeous too- and... i'm leaving to go back to the states this saturday... he's visiting me in the fall... but still i don't want to leave him :( and things have been so fantastic.... what do you guys think about overseas relationships??? we're definately going to keep talkign and all... and i'm not interested in anyone else... or any other guys at all for that matter.... sigh :(

Re: overseas relationship
 

Personally, I think you need to make up your damn mind about things.

Do things for yourself for a change, you confide in GC too much when none of these people know what is best for you.

actually i was asking what people thought about overseas relationships- not if they thought I should be in one... big difference

They don't work and are a waste of time, unless you've known the guy for years.

Exactly my point. You are asking people their opinions that have been formed from their personal lives. It may have no bearing on you at all. Just because someone had a bad experience doesn't mean you will or because someone has had a great experience it doesn't mean you will either.

And it's not a big difference because if you take what people say on GC to heart, it's going to be implicated in your decision with this young gent.

Don't worry about it. Blaine always come on GC asking for advice on tossing salads. I don't understand why because most of us can't answer those damn questions.

-Rudey
--O'Doyle rules!

hahaha thanks :p

A tossed salad a day keeps the doctor away, right?

Or was it two? I always forget...

Ask Oprah. That whore is an expert.

-Rudey

Well . . its a lot of pain.

One of my classmates is involved w/ a guy in Australia now. I think there's around a 17 hour time difference. Alledgedly she's moving there next spring and they're getting married (my theory is she's so weird no one here will have her). They talk on the phone every now and then and keep things going via email or IM conversations. I personally don't find that to be healthy or a "real"relationship. There's very little chance for conflict to erupt and they haven't been facing issues that all couples should face before taking serious steps.
Your situtation is slightly different. I really can't tell you anything. Believe it or not you know better than we do. It's a lot of pain. Some loneliness. Maybe frustration. Do you trust him? Do you trust yourself to be faithful? 4000 miles or not, it's still a commitment. If you think you can stand it, more power to you. But it's not easy.

I think it will be hard.

Such relationships very often [painfully] peter out.

However, for some people they do work out very well for them.

Just go for it right now. You just met him so you are still probably in that infatuated stage. It would be painfail to actually break up with him.

So tell him and yourself that it will work out and you will maintain a long distance relationship.

Then go home and see how you feel as the months go by. You don't have to make any earth shattering decision now. Just make sure you lie your life normally when you go home.

Long distance is VERY hard, especially with such a time difference... but just because it doesn't work out for the majority, it doesn't mean it can't for you! Give it a chance if you really are into this guy...

Um, no.

It's probably best to see this as a "fun thing," if things come out well, they do, but if not...

Oh, I know it will be hard. Be prepared to be lonely. Last year I was faced with a similar dilemma when my boyfriend of 2 years moved back to Britain...he was supposed to stay here, but you know Irish mothers can be very persuasive. So back he went, and I entertained the idea of moving there for a while. I had my immigration papers all filled out and everything, but at the last minute I decided I couldn't do it. If you really like this guy, by all means, keep talking to him, but be warned, it really is a pain in the butt and I set myself up for a lot of heartache so...if you're not prepared to go down that road it's best you take care of things now.

don't do it. i date a chick once and she moved to argentina. broke my f'in heart.

DONT DO IT!

I dunno where this fits in, but I say forget something serious and just keep in touch. I still talk to my swedish and german girls all the time...all of them. Its not on that "we're in love and will be married one day" level.....but if something pans out it pans out. Right now I'm sick as fuck and I just got a package in the mail from one of the swedish girls to make me feel better, its full of all kinds of stuff. I think with my situation the girl/s know, as I have explained to them, that i got too much shit going on in my life right now and things I have to deal with to where I just need to get somethings in line before/if anything could happen. And thats not to mention a GF/BF factor. Odds are, you're gonna come back here and find some guy to chill with. But deep down you're still going to have feelings for this person. Just stay in contact with him. Call him everynow and then, send emails, write letters..whatever. Trust me, its the best way to have it until you two can see each other again.

I'd say it's not worth it if you haven't had a relationship already. I spent 6 months abroad and had a boyfriend of 5 1/2 years when I went. We talked twice a week on the phone. We made it work, but it was not easy. If you haven't had a relationship with him already, you won't be satisfied with just a phone/email relationship. Just have fun while you can and remain friends.

it will be expensive as well.. not that that might not matter to you, but hell when you get that phone bill back it wont be pretty if you like to talk as much as me.. plus plane tickets arent cheap there..

my boyfriend went to europe for a while and it was hard not being able to talk that much, see him and stuff, but it was nice to go visit..

i would say since its just starting.. just be friends.. but hey i have no clue about what you think or the whole situation..

ok- i just got a picture of me and trevor- so i thought i would post it and give a little update:

ok- well scratch that b/c tripod is bein nasty- so i guess if you're interested- go to http://nusigmachi.tripod.com/mycrazylife/ and its the first picture under LONDON (the web site is also in my sig)

anyway- we aren't together- but we text message and call each other all the time- we email all the time too- he's coming to visit me in october:) yay!

hey you :) I know where you are coming from and I say think long and hard about this decision. It is going to be YOU making huge sacrifices to "stay" with him. also, your relationship stays in the "honeymoon" stage for the majority of the time so you guys may or may not be allowed the chance to really get to know each other. you may get focused too much on the "romantic" side of the relationship and "what a great story this would be if it does work out". then if it ends up crashing and burning you focus on all of THAT stuff and not the meat and potatoes of the relationship that was missing all along. we tend to overlook a lot of things when we are in a long distant relationship, and tolerate a lot of things we probably wouldn't if that person was with us all along. sorry to sound so pessimistic but i went through a very similar situation in my very recent past. i've learned A LOT from the situation and have grown tremendously from it, but can honestly say the main reason i got hurt was because i got all caught up in the romantic side of the long-distant part of the relationship. i felt that since we made it through being apart, that we should have been able to make it through some other things but that just wasn't so. sometimes people are just TOOOOOO different and being away from each other so much only prolongs you from learning these things about each other. i am not saying that it can't work in your particular situation, and personally, i still believe in fate and destiny as well and if two people are meant to be together, it will happen no matter what the odds are. i still think that while you are young you should have fun and not put all of your eggs in one basket. Lastly, as wonderful as he seems to you now, you never really will know what is going on on the other side of the pond. Go out and have fun and i am sure if you are not looking someone wonderful will come your way. in the meantime i think it is fine to keep in contact with him but realize there is also a chance you are setting yourself up for major heartache :(

He's cute but....WHO is the guy next to him? The red head. Wow. Cutie patootie

Keep in mind that if you decide to date, this is going to be VERY hard. And You will get to see him very little.

HOWEVER...

I'm a firm believer in following your heart. And if you truly care about him and are willing to put forth the effort, than do so. And if it doesn't work out, you've still got a friend, and so you can't lose either way. :)

Good luck!