Do Sisterfriends of OUR Sorority really want help?
 

This post is for SORORS OF ALPHA KAPPA ALPHA AND SISTERFFRIENDS INTERESTED IN THE SORORITY, ONLY all others, please DO NOT respond. AKATUDE, please delete if others try to respond. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif No disrespect intended.

Honestly, if Sorors on this board or any other board, on your campus, in your area, etc. will give you tidbits, suggestions, criticism, etc. DO YOU REALLY WANT TO HEAR IT? SEE IT?

Many times, Sorors will try to do whatever they can (more than others), to help or lead a person in the right direction, ONLY to be "dissed" because the interest didn't like the response because they were "singled out", corrected, etc.

Why? Why does an interest have to go back and forth, round and round to make a point? Simply, take the point from the person who wears the PEARLS that you want to wear AND MOVE ON!

Sorors, what happened to HUMILITY?

Like a Soror said b4, "you're dayumed if you do and dayumed if you don't".

I just wanted to get the take of Sorors and SFs of AKA to discuss this.

Do you really want help?

(excuse the length)

Soror how funny that you brought this up. Just the other day I was talking with a SF who ask for my help from time to time. After giving her my answer she in turn wanted to disagree with me back and forth. Now by mouth is not a prayer book but what was the point in seeking help from me in the first place. I also see this a problem with neo's . Since they will be learing history and other bits of info for the rest of their lives why is it when you try to teach them things they get offensive? Personally, I don't mind helping people and giving my .08 cents when I can just as long as they appreciate it.

Hello,

I felt compelled to respond since I am a serious interest of YOUR organization, and have been for quite some time.
First off, yes there is a lack of humility on GC and other forums that I read. However, this is not particuliar to BGLO's I think it is wholly a cultural thing. In the past decade or so there has been an erosion of respect for authority (which would be the members of your organization) as witnessed by television and current events. I say this to say that young people in this generation do not respect the traditions of days gone by. This behavior is not specific to those persuing BGLO's but on a societal level.
So to answer the question, yes we want assistance, but humbling oneself is VERY difficult. Especially for someone like myself who is known for being a firecracker.
However, I have learned when addressing members of Alpha Kappa Alpha I always exercise caution when chosing my words and questions. But I too had to learn this the hard way, through experience and hitting a few brick walls.

I've hit quite a few myself, but it knocked some sense into me! I try to keep in touch with all my SF's as a form of support (I'm the motherly type) But so many...NO MATTER HOW YOU TRY TO EXPLAIN TO THEM..Have heads as thick as cement.

I can only help them as far as what I know (how to adress members, how to refer to the Org...etc. otherwise it's like the blind leading the blind.)
But even when I email them to tell them gently.."I wouldn't say ...Hey future sorors" and then explain why and what the possible backlash will be, they comeback with .."Who in the HELL do YOU think you are and I don't see why they would have a problem...blah,blah, blah."

Then I'm like WTF? Maybe it's not my place to try to help them on things that are common knowledge, maybe I should let them get put on blast just as I was when I had my little stank attitude.

It's just that half of me just wants to help them and the other half just simply wants to avoid seeing SOME Sfs make members get aggrivated(sp) with the rest of us. I really don't want to see us lose a good thing. I remember for a while when we all used to chat, members were so fed up that they didn't want to be bothered with any of us. Who could we turn to then?

After being all over the net for some time now and also being a SF for a while, I have to agree with you ladies when you say that The net gives many SFs a false sense of security and bigger balls(excuse me) to say to you members on the net what they wouldn't dream of saying to members on their campus.


[This message has been edited by exquizit (edited May 14, 2001).]

In response to AKA2D'91s question, yes I and my serious SFs want and appreciate the help that we get from members of YOUR org.

I understand that for some it is very difficult to excercise humility, but when someone who has what you want and is trying to help you get where they are (of course without handing it to to you on a silver platter); you should show as much humility and gratitude as possible.

I have seen SFs go overboard getting really mouthy, cocky, and over confident, saying things like "future soror" just because they are on the net. I have attempted to "guide" them in the right direction in dealing with members(as much as an SF can). None of them have cussed me out yet, but they have told me that they won't back down (from going back & forth with members) because they are not intimidated. I try to explain that it isn't about intimidation but about respecting people who are trying to constructively criticize you. If they don't get that I just leave it alone because I feel that anything I respond with will cause something ugly and I'm too cute to be acting ugly. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif

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"I don't know. you be the judge."
~Hits

[This message has been edited by CocoaCaramel (edited May 14, 2001).]

Personally, I'm sick and tired of members of our sorority having to be on OUR Ps and Qs when we are answering/helping/clarifying the questions and concerns of sisterfriends that are interested in gaining membership. We are here offering our assistance because we choose to...not because we are obligated to. It seems to me that some interests feel that they will settle for nothing less than a brutally polite
prompt,answer that's to their personal liking. If this doesn't happen, they're going to whine and b*tch until they get some sort of apology or clarification. Can somebody tell me what is wrong with this picture?? This is not AskJeeves, this is a respectable forum...one in which sisterfriends are lucky enough to have members of the organization that they wish to be in, here offering their help.

Sorors, I'm not trying to hear that "damned if we do, damned if we don't" nonsense. I WISH I would sit up here explaining the reasons why I chose to answer in a certain way....

I WISH I was anything less than humble when Soror LadyAKA was gracious enough to help me when I was an interest.

Being humble is something that is practiced by the best of us.

If something is said that you don't want to hear, take it with a grain of salt and move on. One thing I learned is not to take anything personal. If you're upset or hurt by a Soror's response to your questions, put an H on your chest and handle it. Get over it quickly and continue on with your quest for the first and finest.



[This message has been edited by Sexy Mocha (edited May 14, 2001).]

Soror, I do not know what has happened to humility. As I have said before, back when I pledged, the internet was only available to the government and to some institutions of higher learning. NO SORORITY INFORMATION WAS ON THE WEB!!!!! If I had the internet back then, I would have quietly searched for information in the privacy of my own room. I would never ask questions. There is no need, because all of the answers to everything that an interestee could possibly need to know is on the net (on web pages where no dialogue is necessary). Back in the early nineties (Soror AKA2D, I know you hear me), you did not even let sorority members know that you were interested. We did all research on the down low (that meant speaking to only trusted greeks, reading BOOKS and magazine articles, ect). By using common sense, I was able to abide by the "rules" of discretion. Everything is so much easier when it comes to finding information, but by hearing some sisterfriends, you would think that they are deprived of info. It all makes me feel nostalgia for the "old days" before the internet was easily accessible. Sisterfriends, believe me you already have FAR more information than I did when I spent my first night on line(or second or third). Be mindful of what Sorors are telling you. Some things are NOT MEANT for you to know as a sisterfriend, and sometimes when we sound harsh in here, it is to help you avoid hearing the harshness later. You would much rather hear it from us in here than from a Soror at rush.
Just my .08 cents worth!


[This message has been edited by pretty3grl (edited May 14, 2001).]

I'm interested in this sorority so I guess I'm eligible to answer http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif I personally am EXTREMELY grateful that the members on this board take the time out to help out sisterfriends like myself. Even though I am not a member, I am sometimes appalled by the behavior I've seen on this board. Like many of you, I get irritated when I see the same questions being posted that have been answered over and over again. I view my quest for Alpha Kappa Alpha almost like seeking a job...doing research, giving respect to those who have the "job" I would like to have one day, etc. etc...I (like most of the other sisterfriends here) understand that CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM will only help me in the end.
So to the ladies of Alpha Kappa Alpha, please do not take the actions of a few sisterfriends as representative of all of us. Some of us DO know the meaning of humility http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

Amen, Soror Sexy Mocha. Even though I'm still a neo, I totally agree with ya'll about some SFs attitudes.

Greetings...
As a highly intelligent lady that is seriously interested in your sorority I felt inclined to respond. YES, ladies of Alpha Kappa Alpha-your "assistance" is desired and highly appreciated. As sisterfriends we MUST remember the fundamental rule: "We are GUEST in YOUR house." Be it on campus, at social events/parites or on the internet. There is NEVER an excuse for displaying "uncouth" behavior in the presence of a lady that is a memeber of the sorority that you wish to affiliate with.
I am conscious of the fact that as members of Alpha Kappa Alpha you all could simply "password" protect this chat and eradicate all "sisterfriend" issues ~ BUT you CHOOSE to extend your fellowship beyond membership. THANK YOU~FROM A SISTERFRIEND.

I think that pretty much sums it up for me. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

[QUOTE]Originally posted by pretty3grl:

...Back in the early nineties (Soror AKA2D, I know you hear me), you did not even let sorority members know that you were interested...

Soror I am DEFINITELY feeling you on that! Back in the day, I remember being worried that my undercover interest would be "leaked" out to sorority members. My how times have changed http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif .

I would sincerly like to apologize to Discogoddess as well as Ideal08 and all other members of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated. In a forum posted by Discogoddess on May 14, I kinda challenged some of the advice that she was given. Not only was it not called for but it was also disrespectful and for that I sincerly apologize. When I got home yesterday, that was all that I could think about,"how ugly my behavior was". I do respect all ideas and views of the members of the sorority. I also have learned that I must practice humility and respect and take all advice given to me whether it is something that I want to hear or not. I mean you all have already gone thru what I am trying to pursue and spend my lifetime supporting. I am a very SERIOUS sisterfriend and I have been for a very long time. I am more than ready to humble myself and practice humility in pursiut of achieving my quest. Again, I sincerly apologize.

Having been on both sides of the table. I sort of know what the sisterfriends are feeling and how the members are feeling.

When I first came to GC. I wanted to know the ins and outs of AKA since this was the AKA message board. I thought I could click on a topic and bam there's my answer. Because on my campus you couldn't and didn't find out anything. Sisterfriends can't or won't seek info at their school, so they venture here wanting info and details down to the tee. Some get disappointed, frustrated, fiesty, rude, cocky and just down right UGLY when they don't get what they were looking for. They don't realize that their UGLY attitude won't get them no where on GC and on their campus. Why? Because only the PRETTY GIRLS WEAR 20 PEARLS.

Now being a member I understand why little info is given. Because it's not for everyone to know. Not everyone will become an AKA, so outsiders shouldn't have access to our info.

The sorors on GC give out more info than you know. Frankly we don't have to. Therefore, everyone should be grateful with what they get. Because it's better than nothing.

Why can't we give out explicit details and info to everyone? Here are 2 reasons out of the many.

1) There are so many chapters of AKA. Each chapter does things differently. If we were to give out info, it wouldn't be continuous across the board.

2) One cannot know the secrets of the FBI unless s(he) is an FBI agent.

One cannot know the secrets behind magic unless s(he) is a magician.

Therefore, one cannot know the secrets of ALPHA KAPPA ALPHA SORORITY INCORPORATED unless she is an AKA.

Lastly to Ms_Thang24. I see you have learned your first lesson in being humble and respectful by apologizing. It takes a lot to realize when one is wrong and try to correct their errors. I only wish that other SF's would do the same.

As a new Soror of our sisterhood, I have leaned on many that have helped me and given me guidance. And I have humbled myself even more now that I am a Soror. Any SF that can disrespect any Soror is simply not ready!

They have a lot to learn about humility and respect. And it will take a rude awakening for them to ever realize what it is we are speaking of. But, some don't want to realize and think that Alpha Kappa Alpha will be handed to them. Well I think not!! At least not in my neck of the woods.

Piece of advice to all Serious Sisterfriends, when you hear one of my Sorors say that the real work begins once you are in, that is NO LIE! Because this is a SERIOUS MATTER! This sorority wants women of merit, which carry themselves in a dignified manner at all times. And this should be brought to the table when you attempt to gain membership. With the wealth of information out there and readily accessible there are no "EXCUSES" for not being equipped with enough info to carry you! And when any of my Sorors give you info or advice that they don't have to give you, you ought to be gracious and grateful that you have been granted the opportunity to speak to one. I know of some places where GDI's can not even speak to one of my Sorors about anything. I don't know Sorors. Maybe we should carry it like that so that SF's can realize what gem and wealth of knowledge and opportunity they have.....

Sorry this is so long, but I remember how I was raised and how my common sense led me to be humble and grateful for every Soror, that I ever came into contact with.

Like myself, I know that alot of SF dont know what is disrespectful and you dont know until you ask your question. I know the little things as expressing your opinion can be disrespectful to some members of your oganization. I think that we all learn from experience because experience is the best teacher. I know that in my experiences with certain forums and sites, some memebers of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated tend to "jump" down SF throats when they ask a question that the sister friend may feel that the question is innocent. That is why some SF tend to get on the defensive when someone replies to their question. I dont think that it is because they are not getting the info that they want, but part of it is in the manner in which the question is answered. SF must to come correct when they ask questions. If you dont ask a question properly in in the correct manner, you can expect the same answer to the question you put out there. I say think about what you wanna say before you type it. Try to look at things from all angles and that way you wont take it too personally, if it is not the answer that you expected.

I decided to go ahead and post my reply before I finished reading the previous post, so excuse me if I am being redundant. YES, PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME IF YOU CAN!!!!!!!! I try to stress to people that I know all the time that someone can always teach you something. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/confused.gif I get so mad http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/mad.gif at some of the responses that come out of SFs' mouths on this board and some of the attitudes I encounter on my campus. People want to dis the Ladies of AKA or they want to put them down. Sadly, http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/frown.gif these same people really want to be like them. I get really upset when people accuse me of brown nosing when I try to let a SF know that her response is disrespectful. I know that Alpha Kappa Alpha is not the kingdom of God. However, it is important to me. As most of my friends know what I love I protect. I am a firecracker too but out of Love, Respect and Desire for my own pearls I would NEVER disrespect the organization. So I ask that you Ladies please continue to offer your advice and wisdom and know that though some SFs may act up MOST of us Really Really are "Grateful"sp http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif I know I went crazy with the faces but My this is very very serious. Without places like this and S&S, I would have never met some of the lovely people I know all around the country http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif and I would not know so much as I walk down the ENDROAD of my journey.

Well here is my 8 cents worth...
I feel you Sorors, six years ago-- I made my intrest known by going to service projects.. I spoke when I saw members--but I was never ever just up in their faces.

I never thought of approaching them with silly questions or any such nonsense like "when ya'll pledged did they make you do stupid stuff?" or "how much will this cost me?"

Lately young ladies are just too BOLD for my taste. I think that if a chapter has interest meetings, projects, teas etc.
and if you attend enough info is shared to help you make a descion..

If you are selected then all of your questions will be answered anyway..
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IVY in my HAND-- AKA in my HEART

[This message has been edited by loviest95 (edited May 15, 2001).]

I can only speak for MYSELF, so..........I think the majority of "interests" DO NOT want to "Hear it or See it". I know that I have work (and research) to do if I want to achieve my goal. However, there are many folks who are looking for the easy way out by not doing anything at all. For example, they do not use the search function and ask the same questions over and over again. Now I'm not sure if they are lazy or just waiting for the "right" answer.

I'm probably older than many of the "interests" who visit here; so sometimes I think a lack of maturity (and wisdom) may be the problem.

I also used to think that some people "just don't know better" BUT with all the information available NOW thats just unacceptable.

While I read the information here, I KNOW that my "best" source is speaking with the Ladies in the chapter that I am interested in.

On a side note (since the topic came up) I would like to thank Ms. Revlon for the help she has given me.

I just wanted to acknowledge the fact that there are interested sisterfriends that have shown respect and humility in this forum. We are aware that all of the sisterfriends are not rude and obnoxious. I commend the interested ladies who have always shown deference to my sorors and myself.

When I began my quest for my pearls, I didn't have access to the internet either like some of my sorors have mentioned, but I made. I didn't have a relative who was a member of the sorority, but I made it. I didn't know any members of the sorority when I first began attending events, but I made it.

My point is that you can make it, too.
I attended as many AKA sponsored events as my schedule allowed, smiled and acknowledged members when appropriate, kept my interest to myself as much as possible, and volunteered to participate in a tutoring program the chapter created allowing more members to get to know me and vice versa.

I believe that anyone seeking membership should have a good understanding and knowledge about the sorority. However, if you can't find the answers to your questions or you are unable to locate the information, then it probably isn't for you to know at this time. The problem is that in our society people tend to want what they want, when they want it, and they want it right then and there. Sometimes I detect that attitude from some sisterfriends. What would you do without the internet?

Be patient. Show respect. Be humble. These should not be seen as weaknesses, but as strengths. You will need all three to survive the journey. So, enjoy the ride. It's all a part of the fun and the beauty of entering AKAland. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

As it was stated earlier, the help that we sisterfriends have received by you members of Alpha Kappa Alpha here in this forum IS appreciated, and speaking for myself personally, I am EXTREMELY grateful. I know that it is a priviledge-NOT A RIGHT-to be able to network with you here on this forum.

The one thing that does upset me is the lack of respect shown by other SF's, because in a sense that makes all SF's here look bad. I think that some feel that just because we're on the net, they can show their a$$es and not get caught-I look at it this way: you never know who you'll meet, and if you want to become a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha, you'd better watch what you say to members.

What's so hard about being DISCREET, RESPECTFUL AND HUMBLE? If a SF can't do that here on this forum, then how is she supposed to manage when on line?

Like I said earlier, I'm not here to attack anyone personally, I'm just speaking on the few bad apples that have come into the barrel.


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"Mind ya own, stay true to ya own, be ya own."

Peace and God Bless
*Classy_Diva5*

I'm also a new soror, as of last December.
Sisterfriends who are interested should be thankful that there are sorors on this board and in their communities who are willing to give tough love and good advice.
Having humility in your attitude always helps, because it's a constant learning process within the sorority and those who came before know about business and (at least in my case)are willing teachers.
Note: I didn't learn about GC until after I became a part of this sisterhood. I searched and examined many posts. Some interests' posts made me go "whaaa?" with the attitudes.
Sorors, do you find that attitudes toward help are different between undergrads and grads?

I thought long and hard about posting on this one, but I decided to give it a shot...

I can't imagine anyone actually saying "no, I don't want advice, tidbits,et al. when I come here", but I think the nature of people is full of contradictions. How many of you have had friends/associates who complained and complained about a boyfriend and when you advised them to leave him they wail "but I love HIM!!" Some people want validation not advice!



I think the more important statement here is why does ANYONE go "back and forth, round and round to make a point?" I am certainly not immune to this syndrome either, because I have been caught up from time to time, but in too many cases, I have seen people, both interested and members, who want to get the "last word" in. Sometimes we just have to be the bigger person and say "thank you", or nothing at all, and move on. But as a previous poster said, (sorry I don't remember who!) they way folks are being raised today does not lend itself to that attitude. Folks are concerned about being dissed, children don't show humility to their parents or other elders, it's no wonder they don't show it in work related situations or in situations like this.

Lastly, I must say that I agree that tone cannot be conveyed in these messages, but acronyms like LOL and j/k have become somewhat universal and add a lot to the message. In addition we have tons of similies that we can and do use and a http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif or a http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif vs a http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif or a http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/mad.gif goes a long way. It's hard to misread someone's statement when it is accompanied by a http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/mad.gif

You know, I have thought about this a lot lately, and I might change my mind, but for now, this is where I stand.

You know the phrase, one bad apple will spoil the whole bunch? That's how I feel this forum is. I'm personally tired of how people can come up in her and speak in a patronizing tone, regardless if they are interests or not, and then expect us to be so goody goody and nice. I'll tell you what. That is unrealistic. PERIOD. People talk about respect and humility and all that, but it is rarely seen, and I do give kudos to those that do use it. However, I would be one to say that we should stick to friendly conversations that have NOTHING to do with Alpha Kappa Alpha. PERIOD. That way, there is no chance of anyone's tone being misconstrued. There is no chance of anyone asking questions that are inappropriate and getting a "rude" response. It just absolutely amazes me how many people (not just in our forum, either) have so many complaints about how rude some of the Greeks can be, but that does not stop them from coming up in here posting. AMAZING.

In answer to the question at hand, I think that our serious sisterfriends do want our help. However, if it was up to me, they wouldn't get it, not until the time was right, and not on GC. And before anyone gets offended or thinks I'm being rude or mean, understand something. We as members of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. are not obligated to do or say anything to assist anyone who is not already a soror, contrary to popular belief [this does not include community service, but helping people gain membership does not fall under that category, I know how folks like to get picky http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif]. Actually, it's probably better that we don't.

My suggestion: Form relationships based on friendly conversations that do not pertain to Alpha Kappa Alpha. We are human, and we don't think that we are untouchable. I have formed some pretty good friendships with a couple of SF's from this forum, whom I would gladly help if they needed it. But randoms, nuh-uh. Someone helped me into AKAland, and I will never forget that, and will be forever indebted to her. But she helped me when the time was right.

I guess that's all for now. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

I would have to agree with a lot of what Ideal08 said. I've found it to be much more suitable to all involved when relationships/friendships are formed on something other than "I'm a sisterfriend, so I need to get to know you so you can help me" type of mentality. On another board that I frequent, one Memberfriend who was an attorney found out that I was applying to law school. We communicated about that, and she went OUT OF HER WAY to help me contact people who had gone to the schools I applied to. While we've never really discussed my interest in her organization, we had, in my opinion, a real human interaction. In my mind, that lays a foundation that perhaps in the future can include help with my interest. Does that make sense? She knows that I'm not on a one-track mode, and just using her to get into her org. I don't know...it just seems more important to bond with someone on something more tangible (if you can, sometimes it just works out that you can bond on the interest) than just my interest in that persons organization. If it is God's will for me to pursue this to fruition, He'll make a way. IF that includes a Memberfriend wanting to help me, then great, but if not Let God's Will Be Done.
While I have found a LOT of useful information regarding my interest on this board, the conversations I've enjoyed the most, had little to do with information regarding your organization.

In the end, if you can help me, I appreciate it, and I thank God for moving on your heart and allowing me favor in that area. If I'm out of line, please correct me in a manner that will not leave me broken. If I'm so out of line that you have to go there, please pray for me at the same time! :P
Otherwise, I really enjoy this board, and will continue to gladly take any info/support a Memberfriend can provide.

For every member who takes the time to help-
THANK YOU! From the bottom of this sisterfriends heart!
I dont post messages here that often and here's why...
1) people keep asking the same questions- if they where so interested then they would already know the answer, from the first time it was posted!
2) I think I've read everything that i'm suposed to know, I've seen almost every chapter 's web site, and if its not there then I dont need to know!
3) Some of us need to Pick up a book and read! Stop looking for information to be tied up with a little bow ,did you really think that it would be that easy !
Thanx for the patience!
Kelly

Some of you already know a post I made on another board, entitled: The problem with ivies--interests...

Looka here, like my Soror AKA2D91 said, we do not have to give you any advice. We can be like-- http://www.aka1908.com because really, some of you want to call us out and get Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. into trouble. But you know what, I don't care. 'Cuz my service to my Sorority has been impeccable. I have worked too hard for my pearls and no little ivy is gonna ruin it. So basically, I'm up for a challenge--BRING IT ON!!! I can flame with the best of 'em and I never give up and don't surrender--I'm a survivor... http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/tongue.gif

As for you SF's posting your appreciation, it's okay to toot a horn, but really, your AKA-related questions should be amongst yourselves. 'Cuz like my Sorors AKAtude and AKAME92 said, back in the day, there was no web access. And back in my day there was no concept of the web even in the government... Like it was all floppy disks and Lotus 123--Trash 80's and Apple 2e's... Okay. So AKA information when I was interest had to be shared with all the interests, which inherently promotes sisterly bonds--all working for the same thing. That is a part of what we mean in terms of DISCRETION...

Sorors, I think the kids have this ME, INCORPORATED or ME.COM attitude now. I have some ideas why. But I won't go into them.

I think the "crazy" SF's--and boy, do I have some emails--want us to "put" in a good word for them at the local/campus chapter and they can't even past the paper!!! I guess they think they can "prey" on our sweetness, compassion and kindness. What they fail to realize that we are trained to see it coming by our elder sorors and get mad when we put them in check. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif Oh well...

....and I am one of them. As you may tell from the username, I am constantly on a quest for knowledge. Personally I'm not one that asks for help because I like to find things out on my own. I do know a few members and I will ask them select things, but only if its confusing, conflicting with something else, or another "extreme" case--but I only do this because we know each other well and I trust what they have to say. I've been a silent reader since (before) joining and, personally, I have nothing but gratitude for the Greekchat members and their willingness to help as much as they can and have. Like Ideal08 said, they ARE NOT OBLIGATED to do anything. And they shouldn't be expected to.

[This message has been edited by InquiringMind (edited July 27, 2001).]

And, finally, to answer the original question.....

In all aspects of life, not just AKA related, I have learned to take advice and (constructive) criticism. It has made me a better person and I have accomplished a lot because of it. As far as I'm concerned, who would know better than someone who has already been through the same thing?

I agree with what Diva7401 said. Even though I'm in a service sorority I am a SF for Alpha Kappa Alpha and have been pursuing membership for a while now. I frequent this board quite often but normally don't post. More often than not, I just read the posts and responses, and take in the advice and information that way.

I too have noticed the downright nasty attitudes of SF's that come in the room. They don't ask for suggestions or advice-rather, they DEMAND the answer they want, even though they won't get it. Quite simply, if you're not a member there are things that you won't be told. It's like that with Gamma Sig-I'm a member and there are things about Gamma Sig that I won't tell you. Therefore, don't get an attitude about it! Rather, if this is the organization that you want, all the answers will come when it is time to. I understand that completely with AKA and more importantly, I respect that. I'm also aware that this board doesn't even need to be here and there are members of AKA that take the time to guide us sisterfriends in the right direction. Just the fact that this board is here is a blessing!

I would like to thank all the AKA members and SF's that show a common courtesy to each other and are respectful of each other. And as a SF myself, everyone has answered my questions and helped me in my pursuit of this great sorority!

In Service,
gamma_girl52

http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif I got chill bumps! Thank you for the inspiring statement, it is really appreciated! Everything that YOU have done on this forum is also GREATLY appreciated! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif



[This message has been edited by Ania (edited May 16, 2001).]

[This message has been edited by buterscotch1 (edited May 16, 2001).]

[This message has been edited by buterscotch1 (edited May 16, 2001).]

I don't know, maybe it's me, but I don't understand half of these GIRLS that are seeking "help". They don't really seem to want "help", they want "do it". They want somebody to put their feet on the path, and push them from behind like you do a broken car.

I have requested and received help from DiscoGoddess and other members, and I have been nothing but grateful. I was careful to defer to them, because hell, they know. I can honestly say that all were cordial and polite.

I think I've said this before, but people were becoming greek before the internet, it's not impossible. Sisterfriends have to get off their *sses and take the HELP, but do the WORK.

That just my opinion, Miss. Mocha

I just want to get the point across that when you are seeking something big, one mistake really can doom you. If you go for a $500,000 a year job interview and say one wrong thing, there is a good chance that you will not get the job. Alpha Kappa Alpha is much the same. WE ARE NOT HURTING FOR MEMBERSHIP, and whether or not anyone else EVER becomes a member, I will always be an AKA (Sorors, do you hear me?)! Sisterfriends, the less you say and the less you ask, the less chance you have of saying something wrong. Just like you would do your research before going for that $500,000 a year job interview (and I doubt that you would inundate the CEO with questions that could easily be found on the company web page), you must research Alpha Kappa Alpha. I made line my freshman year in college. I was 17 years old and I was one of 17 out of 100+ who submitted. I had to be on point, and I knew it. I am sure that if I asked my campus Sorors as many questions as some of you do, I would have said something wrong too. At that point I would have been one of the 80+ who is still seeking membership TO THIS DAY. Ladies, I am not trying to be mean, and most of you know that I rarely post unless the topic is light in nature, but I will not stand by while some of you come in MY house and act like it is owed to you, and we should forgive your mistakes (over and over again)and be nice about it while you treat us like...let me calm down. Remember, we don't have to because YOU are seeking what we already have.
Sorry for the long post!

[This message has been edited by pretty3grl (edited May 16, 2001).]

I came here seeking advice...

I got it...and a whole lot more...

I pondered what I'd learned...

I was then greatful that I learned it...

I stuck around for the conversation...


So the answer is YES!

Hotep

As a sisterfriend who has been searching for going on three years now, I can sincerely say thank you to all of my memberfriends who have helped me along the way, both directly and indirectly. I really do appreciate your help and guidance. I can use all the help I can get. Most sisterfriends do realize that you in no way HAVE to help us, but that you do it out of the KINDNESS of your heart. Thank you ladies.

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How can love escape your grasp without you every letting go?

HELP???
Doggone straight... http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif
Most of the time, dang 99.9999% of the time, I don't even have to ask... The answers lay before me, in forums such as these. Can we say search? (that was for our Moderators http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif )
The times I have needed input, advice, edification, clarification, etc. I get it, and it is WELL APPRECIATED...
I even help my fellow SFs when appropriate. Shoot, it's been 3 years, 3 months, and 3 days for me today. Utilizing those resources/aids such as my fellow SFs has been a tremendously rewarding experience for me. I have made sooo many Member/Sisterfriends. That's what we are supposed to do, that's the whole point.

BUT... There are times when I feel the same way Exquizit does...


Exquizit... I totally feel you!!!
I have to 'bite my fingers' (if you will) on MANY occasions, just because I KNOW that the Members themselves will handle the MAJOR trash... I used to spend a lot of time e-mailing fellow SFs privately to attempt to help them out with their pursuits.
I mean, dangonit, I was corrected a few times myself. But never in a million years would/could I just BLATENLY dish out the disrespect I see out here (on the 'net) on a common basis. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/frown.gif
It's a humbling experience to be corrected, for whatever reason. I thank God that my Mama taught me HOW to recognize/give edification, and how to ignore/refrain from disrespectful behaviour...
A disrespectful person will always get their just desserts.
Some of the crap I read... http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif
I swear, I just shake my head and sigh... It's like, okay "NO, who the helllll are you???" and at other time "OOOOOOOOOOOOOO she gon' get iiiiiitttt!!!" http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif
I see why some SFs catch the verbal beat down...
How dare a person TRY to bite someone's head off after rudley posting a question (that could have easily found been answered with a simple search or two or three or four...)
Especially on the internet, where the warning emminates from every message board/club/forum high and low "YOU DON'T KNOW WHO IS READING!" Dang, do we (SFs) need another clue??? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/tongue.gif We shouldn't... but apparently some do.
Funny, I don't see a lot of this crap on campus(es). http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif

I can't stand a lazy person.
Read dammyt, go to the Library, pull up a website, search a forum, and if you still have to ask, eat whatever comes your way. We can't expect people (Members) not to feel antagonized by some of the IRRITATING crap that's dished out by 'Ladies' who want what they've got.

Shooot, I know how I am when 10 different people ask me the same 10 questions, ALL DAY. By the time number 2 gets to question #3 I have to start praying to God for MORE patience...
Let's generalize things for a moment -- cuz this applies to LIFE.
I admonish all of my fellow SFs empathize with anyone who is in a position of having something someone else wants... It can be brutalizing when people try to RUDELY use you for what info you may have... or LAZILY ask you questions about something they could figure out themselves (especially when you worked your azz off to get what YOU have)... Then they expect a courteous and humble reply. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/mad.gif
It behooves those of us in need of whatever information Members of Alpha Kappa Alpha may have to chill on the stank... Daayuuummm...
Being stank will get a person nothing but stank company. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif
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"No matter how worthy, admirable or fiercely desired the goal may be, it takes commitment and action to make it a reality."

[This message has been edited by novella000 (edited May 17, 2001).]

I wasn't going to answer this thread until I got a email from a SF today which I really don't mind ( I love to help when I can). Number one as a fairly new member of Alpha Kappa Alpha I can clearly remember what life was like before I got my pearls. In fact I would say I am one of the more "gentler" sorors on greekchat when it comes to responding to sisterfirends. We constantly are drowning in a sea of repetitive questions every week but I just assume SF's are blind is this is the first light they see. However emailing a soror without asking permission, not introducing yourself (not names of course) and not explaining your situation and expecting an answer to your questions kinda gets to me, I mean come on!! Do SF's not get it HUMILITY, DISCRETION and PATIENCE are essential to obtaining membership. Don't like it tough seek something else. I can easily remember thinking to myself why are they (members of Alpha Kappa ALpha ) so rude and so unecessarily mean in their responses. Then I got it, Alpah Kappa Alpha is a SERIOUS MATTER that extends far beyond greekchat, your college campus, or your community. We LOVE, CHERISH, and VALUE what we HUMBLED ourselves to seek. I got that before I became a member and for all these SF's who don't get that before, trust me you'll never get it as a member. I am sorry for venting but I work to hard for my pearls to just hand them over to anybody. If any SF's are smirking and categorizing me as the newest "rude" member your probably one of the ones who doesn't get it. Release, Relax and Breath Wonderful........

No, I don't find you rude at all. I can sympathize with you and the other members of Alpha Kappa Alpha. Maybe one day I will be able to EMPATHIZE http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif