Help! Not Trendy Enough
 

O.K. So here's my problem. We are gearing up already for fall rush. I do not particularly care for our theme but vowed to give it a try. However, the theme (which I can't give away yet) is 100% absolutely, positively, TRENDY!!! I am a casual gal who likes to occasionally dress up for our events but it seems to me like we're going overboard. All the other girls are excited but I can't seem to be able to get out of this funk b/c the theme is not me. I feel like we're looking like we are trying too hard.

All the other ladies are behind this but I seem to be the odd duck out. I'm pretty sure most of you will tell me to just keep my chin up and do it for the best of the sorority.

Any advice???

Purchase a long black coat and a small black dress plus smoke a cigarette in a cigarette holder á la Audrey Hepburn.
You'll seem elegant, eccentric and mysterious and no-one rushing will think anything of it that you aren't dressed like everyone else.

Suck it up. The majority has spoken. Ask the recruitment chair to take you shopping because you want to make sure you buy something that fits the theme.

If it makes you really uncomfortable, request to be taken off the floor and given behind-the-scenes work.

ETA: Your chapter may be trying to hard to impress with this theme. Maybe there are some other girls who feel the same way. That you are trying to be something you're not and that this is going to show at rush. Speak out in chapter meeting. At least you'll be heard.

:D LOL

I should try that b/c of our theme. Unfortunately, we received a packet that contains specifically what we are to wear including the colors allowed.

Talk about overkill.

Guess you didn't see this thread LOL.

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...threadid=36705

Re: Help! Not Trendy Enough
 

Is your house generally laid back or is it more go all out when it comes to rush? If it tends to be more laid back, you could maybe ask the girls in charge of planning rush why they're going a different route. If it's not too late, you could maybe change the theme to something a little less trendy. This past semester we did a Camp KLP theme. We wore jeans and our unity letters, and for one night we had a slumber party/show and tell type thing where we all wore pj's and letters and the PNM's wore pj's. It wasn't formal or trendy at all and all the girls loved it. It's hard to find a theme that will please everyone though, and rush only goes on for so long, so you may just have to accept that.

It's not overkill, although it can seem that way if you aren't directly involved in the planning process. Your recruitment chair is being smart by planning all of this ahead of time.

Since your clothes are already decided for you, maybe you should focus on make up, hair, nails, that type of thing. Maybe get a make over during the summer? When I joined, I didn't even know how to blow dry my hair, but living in the house, especially during rush, I learned a lot about how to make myself look better. Think of it as fun. Get a pedicure with a few other sisters right before rush, or other things like that to make the whole process more enjoyable.

That's overkill? We were not only told what to wear and what color to wear it in, but what shoes and belts to wear, too. In a way, it made things kinda easy because there were no "OMG, WHAT will I WEAR?" moments.

I disliked some of our past themes, too, but rush week doesn't last forever, at least.

I thought it was against NPC rules to require members to dress identicaly and force them to put out money for clothes they wouldn;t ordinarily wear just for rush? Has this changed??? I know my chapter just says "nice black dress", khakis and jerseys or something like that. If someone wanted me to buy a new belt, shoes, outfit etc. for every rush I'd raise. And I am sure as hell not going to wear something I don't like.

Everything & I mean EVERYTHING is coordinated. We are even under orders to get manicures & pedicures to look our best. I have to put out $$$ for new clothes & shoes that I am positive I will never wear again.

We tend to be pretty casual at our house. I know it's fun to do something out of the ordinary and different but I really feel it's getting to be excessive.

Woah, I definitely think it's a bit excessive. I think if I was a PNM, I'd be kind of freaked out if I went to a house where all of the girls were dressed exactly the same.

CASIGKAP,

Do the other sororities on your campus do this? If so, it may be a matter of "keeping up with the Joneses." But if they don't, I agree that this is a bit much.

Edited to add that even if you do matching outfits it should be relatively affordable stuff, like Express or Old Navy, unless you are all Rockefeller heirs. If the rush chair is ordering you to buy designer stuff, that's out of control.

If you are at a campus where every group does this and you've always done it, it's normal and you see the positive in it. But if you're not, it can seem a little freaky and make people upset. Heck, we had people kicking and screaming when we went to drapes in our composite...I can just see if we'd told girls they had to buy this or that outfit.

I don't see anything weird about it. What have you done in the past for Recruitment that has been easier or less uniform?

I agree with AchtungBaby80, knowing exactly what to wear makes it easy. One of our sample outfits might be:

-Pink shirt ordered with rest of the chapter so they are all the same
-Black dressy capris or pants (no cargos, drawstrings, etc)
-Black belt if your pants have belt loops
-Black open toed sandals (no flip flops, no hooker shoes)

Toenails must be painted, makeup must be done, hair must be worn fixed and down.

All this makes it EASY because we don't have to think about what we're wearing, our Recruitment Director does it FOR us.

Honestly, I think if it is to the point where your Recruitment chair is picking out outfits, you should not try to convince her to change it, because you said that the other sisters like the idea. I really feel like you should go to her and ask her for a little more help in choosing what to wear. She can help you to find something that you feel comfortable in and that still fits in with the theme.

I must respectfully disagree. Telling all the girls "wear pink blouses, black dress pants and nice black shoes" is appropriate. Most people will have at least one of those items in their possession. But to order shirts for the entire chapter, specify open toe and DEMAND mani's & pedi's....I'd tell the rush chair to kiss my a$$. We are intellegent college aged women who have scholarships, write huge term papers with big words and live independently. Why on earth are we being told what to wear?! I understand uniformity to a degree. It is nice. But to the extreme degree I am reading here, I am a little disgusted. The only time, IMO, grown women should be dressed exactly alike is if you are a bridesmaid. And of course for ritual.

Many chapters do this and no one is "disgusted" by it. It is all in what you are used to. Not everyone has good fashion sense - even if they do get scholarships and know how to write term papers. Its all about putting your best foot forward for your guests (PNMs). Some campuses just put more emphasis on the outward appearance of their members than others do.

My chapter orders shirts together because we usually have our letters embroidered on the shirts or screenprinted. I don't find this to be unusual at all and I go to a school without a competitive rush. We are also told what color bottoms to wear and we sometimes order matching flip flops(the ones with letters on them).

I was rush chairman, and had no problems specifying (in detail) what to wear for each party, but it was along the line of "Hawaian or equally loud shirt - if you don't own one, borrow one from a friend - neutral shorts and clean sneakers" . If an outfit was wildly inappropriate, or the girl claimed not to have anything like the clothing described , they worked in the kitchen that night.

I went to a state school, and for many of our girls, every penny counted. If I had gotten too specific, or said what brand of shoes they had to wear - they would have had my head.

So I get the idea of working with a theme but specifying "American Eagle" belts or "J.Crew" shoes - !!! Is everyone rich enough to afford this? My own clothing budget for college was appallingly tight - I'm not embarrassed to say I spent my breaks/weekend home making my own formal dresses (and they looked good enough that they went to a lot more formals than I did - I always liked playing "spot my black wrap dress" when looking over pictures from various fraternity formals.)

Your recruitment chairs need to make this process as easy as possible, but you have to respect their decisions as well. I understand some people being horrified by the thought of being told what to wear, but I mean you've gotta make a good impression, look classy, and uniform. We even told our alphas what to wear during their alpha period (each sorority did this during their pleding period, for example: Mondays bid day shirts and jeans, Tuesdays: pin attire for meeting, Wedensday: letter shirts with black, Thursday: free day, Friday: spirti shirts). When I was REcruitment Vice President, we had 4 days of parties and it was really easy. the first round, everyone wore their jerseys (every sorority at Baylor has the same jerseys in their colors, with their letters) and black pants with black closed toed shoes (november). The second, I had everyone wear khaki pants and we ordered black tshirts with ADP in animal print letters and they again wore black shoes. ON the third day they wore black pants and a fun, going out type shirt, but not hoochy momma looking. Finally on pref, everyone wore a black dress with black shoes. Hair and jewlery were all specified and all that. I made everyone bring the pants/shirt/dress they were going to wear a month before recruitment and i made them try them on. If their shirt was too slutty, they had to pick something else, if their pants were too tight or short, they had to wear something else. Saved some time during parties. they had a lot of freedom in what htey wore, but still looked uniform. that's how most of the chapters on my campus did it (as far as I know!).
My random .02 :D

I really think that all of this varies by school. A friend of mine went to a school where matching outfits were strictly prohibited, but at my alma mater we have rules that define everything you wear form the outfit to accessories to the color of your nylons. So I don't think it's weird at all, AND if you are wearing open toe shoes you should have your feet looking lovely anyway!!! ;)

I know one reason why we either order shirts as a group or get extremely specific is that some people just don't HAVE fashion sense.

For example: "Just wear pink T-shirts" will result in everything from baby pink to watermelon to fuschia to colors that aren't really PINK to anyone else but the wearer.

If you don't specify black belts, you might end up with a girl wearing a white belt... or worse no belt at all, so when she bends down during the song, you see her butt crack :rolleyes:

If you say just wear black bottoms and black shoes, you're going to end up with girls wearing capris and black clogs... and y'all know that's not cute!

I know all of these examples are slightly exaggerated. And you COULD just say, "Pink shirts, black bottoms, black shoes" and then veto anything that falls under the line of acceptable. BUT... it's so much EASIER and SIMPLER to be more specific so everyone knows what works and what doesn't.

I don't think people said they were required to purchase certain labels, did they? :confused: Seriously, maybe I missed that?

Anyway, as a former rush chair, I know that a lot of times these "rules" come from the fact that there are a handful of girls who just don't get it. No matter how many times they hear - "Be presentable, we're having guests" they think it appropriate to roll out of bed, put their hair in a ponytail and toss on dirty sneakers. By setting the rules you don't have to single anyone out by saying - "Suzie! You have claws for toenails! Please cut them before First rounds!!!"

It also depends on the chapter. In my chapter, we'd never say mani/pedi in 'cardinal'! But on the day we wore letters and khaki skirts/shorts I had to say no sweatshirts only t's and skirts or shorts that were mid-thigh or longer (it was the 90's we didn't do micro-minis!!!!) ;)

[QUOTE]Originally posted by xo_kathy
[B]I don't think people said they were required to purchase certain labels, did they? :confused: Seriously, maybe I missed that? [B][QUOTE]

Actually that is the exact impression I did get from some posters. If you are ordering all the shirts together, then they are specifying the store. If you are all ordering flip flops from the same place, again the same store. Iguess my "problem" with it all is if it's too expensive. I mean, if you are getting really good deals on this stuff because you are ordering it in bulk, maybe it's more cost effective. But what happened to individuality? How can you talk about diversity and "I love all my sisters because we're all allowed to be who we really are" if you're all exactly alike. Maybe I'm just old and dressy like my friends is not cool any more. I mean, we'd DIE if we were caught wearing the same outfit! I think that must be it. I am just old! And I was very poor in college and I just cannot relate to anyone telling me I had to have such specific items.

When I rushed one groups all wore red dresses, not exactly the same ones, but still red. Lots of girls wore suits. WOW! It made my eyes hurt. Another group wore Khaki skirts and pink button down polo type blouses. They all looked like they worked at Blockbuster. I preffed the two groups where everyone was dresses nice, but they loked like themselves.

Once again, I think I am just old. But I really really really do think there is a panhellenic rule about NOT doing this.

LMDAO because this reminds me of my one roomie - I think she was frightened by a toenail clipper in her youth. Fortunately by the time our rush rolled around sandal season was over.

Anyhoo, some people were specifying brands in the thread I linked to earlier in this thread.

Again, it is all about what you are used to and what you like and don't. Just because it wouldn't (or didn't) impress you for sorority members to dress similarly doesn't mean it puts everyone off. And I don't believe there is a Panhellenic rule that prevents dressing alike. It seems that you are from a campus where rush was a bit less formal than others, but I read from this thread that a lot of chapters do wear the same or similar clothing for certain parties. It is probably more the norm than not.

first impressions count
 

I agree with Kathy.

My chapter has a bunch of girls that are VERY smart, but not too up on what makes them look their best. And in rush, first impressions count! People has very different ideas of what presentable is, or how they should dress to impress. It got to the point that we made a specific clothing chair position and we now are toying with the idea of getting a clothing chair advisor. Their job is to make sure people look their best for recruitment, and know how to dress to impress for the rest of their lives. We require the girls to get their outfits pre-approved, and if they don't pass the first round, the clothing chair goes into their closet and helps them find something they own to wear. We try and get people to wear things they already own, but sometimes you might have to buy new things (if you don't own an acceptble top or black dress, or jeans that cover your crack). Also, the rules are you MUST paint your nails and toes (manicures reccommended), you MUST wear makeup (foundation, powder, mascara and lip gloss at a minium), and you MUST do your hair (unruly hair will be delt with on site if you refuse to do it yourself). If these things aren't done, the clothing chair will attack you with a flat iron, nail polish, and makeup in the hour before the parties start.

Now, I am the first person to say that I care more about who my friends are than what they look like. But! Rush is a first impression game, and you have to follow the rules to win.

SIGKAP- Try doing the manicure yourself! As long as you paint your nails carefully, no one will notice. Also, do your best to borrow clothes from other people. What is your dress code exactly??

I'll admit that my fashion sense revolves around what sport is in season so I can wear the appropriate jerseys. However, I get regular manicures and pedicures so this is really not that big of a deal for me. The problem I'm having is that we're trying to emulate a VERY popular and VERY trendy TV show. I have problems with this b/c I feel that if women want to rush a sorority, they want to see the unique qualities that make up an individual and how she fits in the group. Instead, they are literally getting a TV package.

I have spoken to my chair and she has agreed to look over and help me with the clothing due to the fact that I don't normally wear high heels anywhere except formals and I don't generally get fancy hairdo's except for formals.

Most of the stuff I have to buy can be bought cheap but still, I feel like I'll be digging through my female relatives closets to find stuff so I don't have to spend too much. I am at a state school and am on a tight budget.

i don't mean to hijack... but is it a SATC theme? cuz all this talk about trendy tv shows with fashion sense... it just sounds right.

Anyway, end of hijack...

We always did informal recruitment. Each day we would wear a shirt from our past events or house letters or something Chi Delta related. I am kinda glad we did... I couldn't afford all new clothes every recruitment. especially when you start putting brand names on everything. sorry, but saying you have to get an american eagle black belt and ONLY an AE black belt is rediculous. At least go to a cheaper store. (Yes... I think AE is expensive...)

And honestly, who can tell the difference between Old Navy and $2 Target flip flops... :confused: :rolleyes:

VERY popular and VERY trendy? Can I guess??? Sex in the City, Friends, or American Idol?

I have never heard of a formal recruitment where the recruitment committee did not have very specific details on what members would wear each day.

Recruitment is a week of first impressions, which means that everyone must look her best, and there's a certain amount of conformity---why? There's a hint of uniformity (from wearing identical shirts, to wearing shirts of the same family in different colors (ie: red, white or blue polo shirts) to match a theme that the sorority wants to touch on each day. I would imagine your chapter is going "uber" trendy for skit/video day, but that you'll be wearing letters or school colors on other days, etc.

If you feel uncomfortable by this, you may ask to be assigned to behind-the-scenes recruitment work that will keep you off the floor.

The recruitment committee of your chapter appears to have spoken, and from your posts, it looks like the majority of the chapter is excited for the theme. Be a good sport. I'm sure there are sisters who can help you by lending you clothes or going shopping with you.

Recruitment Week is a great time to bond with your sisters as your new members come in. Enjoy it!

Our house has dress check before recruitment. You put on your entire outfit, including shoes, jewelry and even the underwear you plan to wear for each day of parties. The recruitment chair, advisors, & sometimes the standards chair have to approve everything. If it's not approved, you aren't wearing it.

OK....it's becoming more clear...I don't think your issue with it is so much with the clothes as it is the fact that you're not dressing to show your sisters' best qualities, you're dressing to imitate a TV show. I can understand if everyone in the sorority loves Sex and the City or whatever but believe it or not, not every rushee does, and if you rely too heavily on a theme the whole way through rush I think it will definitely turn some people off.

I really don't see what the big deal is, unless other chapters at your school don't do this, or if you think the theme doesn't reflect your chapter.

At my school, we all decorated and dressed alike to the point of insanity... we did as much as we could within Panhellenic rules. No we didn't want to appear to be conformists, but we wanted to put on a nice little show for the girls, really give them something to remember. When a girl sees 10 houses each day, it's easier to remember, "I liked the one with the jungle theme, but not the one with the 50s theme" - rather than having them all blend together. Also, we saw it time and again, that girls going through recruitment loved the themes - they thought it was fun. They want sisterhood, they want girls who present a unified front. Show them your similiarities and your differences in your personalities, not by wearing random clothes.

I was recruitment chair and finals week of spring semester, we would let all the girls know what they would be wearing in the fall. That way they had all summer to find things on sale or whatever. It was pretty specific (i.e. Khaki shorts that touch where your fingertips fall on your thighs, absolutely no pleats or cargo pockets...) but there was always enough freedom that it could be found in a wide price range at various stores.

Also, we always did clothing checks the week everyone got back. I vetoed anything that was too short, tight, etc... Sorry, but you don't want girls in your house portraying a slutty image at recruitment. You want to present a classy, polished front. We also had other policies to enforce this - meaning minimal jewelry, makeup, etc...

If you honestly really have a problem with your theme because you are afraid it will turn off the type of women your chapter is targeting, then bring it up. If you have a problem because it doesn't fit you but the majority of the chapter loves it, you should probably suck it up for the week of recruitment and move on.

Wow I cant imagine having to get a specific shoe or specific belt from one store and no other store.

For recruitment its the same pretty much every year

Day one is unity day every chapter on campus wears jeans and our unity shirt. The unity shirt is a greek shirt designed with all the letters on it from all chapters and all chapters wear it. The first day of recruitment is about Greek life not just your own chapter so you all dress the same and you wear sneakers. Now Im sure if they were ratty sneakers theyd say something. Also you are told not to wear too much makeup or perfume and we have a few people who are designated to check to make sure that rule is followed, plus people hand out mints and stuff.

Second day is the same as the first, again unity party in our student union.

Third day you wear khakis and a block letter shirt and brown shoes. A lot of times girls will match their big or little sister with shirts. This day we take them around and give them a house tour and make a philanthropy project on the floor so noone wants to dress really nice and be on the floor.


Forth day you wear pin attire and black suits. Now you have to have a black suit. We tell the new girls a semester before so they have all summer to get a nice black suit. Also black hose and black pumps and we all wear gold jewerly. I dont think we are too strict on the gold since a lot of girls wear silver too.

Then later in the day after that its bid day, so you are to wear jeans and oue new bid day shirts and sneakers.

I know I've posted a lot in this thread, but I just wanted to offer an alternative view to the people who say they would feel put off going through recruitment by the completely matching sorority girls.

When I went through recruitment, every house I went to except one had matching outfits (not the exact same outfit always, but still the same general top, pants, shoes). They wore letters and jeans, but all the letters were different. It stood out like a sore thumb to me- they didn't look diverse, they looked mismatched. I didn't drop them or anything over it, but I definitely felt like it was less of an "effort" than the other sororities made to impress the PMs. Just adding my experience.

BUT I think the matchingness is getting away from the original point of the thread... I still want to clarify, CASIGKAP... Do you dislike the trendy theme because it's not your own PERSONAL style, and you will feel uncomfortable? Or because you feel like the theme will not attract girls because it's overly trendy? Both are valid concerns, but I want to make sure I know what you mean.

Excellent point! This is more about marketing strategy than trying to whip the chapter into conformity.

Definitely both.

I don't want PNM's to look at us and get the wrong idea. That we ALWAYS look like that and that we are only looking for trendy an hip ladies. Also, I worry that looking this trendy may be a turnoff to many ladies who are looking for a place where they can be comfortable & we'll look like we're all high maintenance.

Also, I am uncomfortable dressing up like this. If we could maybe put some of our own unique looks into the outfits it would be one thing but we are not allowed.

I have decided to just do it and keep my mouth shut. After all, whomever said that Rush is only a few days is right. I will only have to wear these clothes a few days. I have the rest of the semester to look like I normally do. Besides, it wouldn't kill me to attempt to update my fashion sense.

Also, will the theme also be "trendy" by next Fall?

I can understand the frustration-- as a "jeans 'n t-shirt" girl myself, getting dressed up is... well, a frightening concept (makeup? eep!)

But I also see the need for at least one rush event to be quite dressy-- first impressions do make or break a PNM's rush experience, I think.

I think voicing concerns about how the event will project to PNM's is a valid one, but definitely do it in a diplomatic, kind, and concerned fashion.

For what it's worth, whenever we had one of our dressier events, somehow a few of my sisters and I actually wound up having a "let's get Mel (being me) dressed" sort of party beforehand... which I griped about at times, but wound up being hysterical fun. :)

Perhaps it'll ease your worries about it to propose some sort of similar pre-event gathering of sisters who are willing to help less fashion-sensed sisters in a "dress for success" sort of gathering.

~ Mel.