Why do Greeks always feel the need to be threatened?
 

Just the other day I posted a thread about the new book "Pledged: The Secret Life Of Sororities." I loved the book..I thought it was completly true. I also mentioned that I disafiliated from my chapter in the last year.

The thread was later closed.

Also, alot of greek women have given me a hard time on this message board because I chose a name that allows a man to identify me. Why is my name such a big deal? Why cant I have a boy define me? HALF OF THE PEOPLE ON HERE LET THEIR SORORTIES DEFINE THEM? I chose not to be repersented in such a mannor.

Sisters are supposed to stick together but the truth of the matter is that they dont, believe me I found this out the hard way. Im not dissing the greek community but why is it that almost every thread about the "truths reguarding sororitys" later become closed?

Seems to me half of you individuals are trying hard to ingore what really happens.

AND yes the truth can hurt but why turn away from it like much of you have done. Read the book before you start dishing out and dont concern yourself with my name on these boards if you have chose to let your letters define you!

Re: Why do Greeks always feel the need to be threatened?
 

Don't take it personally. It's probably just because there's several similar threads out there, and the moderators are just trying to keep things organized so we don't have to sift through duplicate threads all the time.

Edited to Add: I'm sorry you had such a crummy experience. :(

Re: Why do Greeks always feel the need to be threatened?
 

First, my sorority doesn't define me, but it is a part of me. I don't think you're boyfriend should define you, but I do think he is a part of you.

Secondly, no one is denying bad things do not happen, but to make such a blanket statement that Ms. Robbins' book is truthful, is wrong and what angers some. Yes some women have had terrible experiences with greek life. There are several women who have dissafiliated from their organizations on GC because of hazing. etc. Some of them have gone on to initiate into different orgs, other have chosesn to remain unaffiliated.

Third, many people have read this book.

There is also another part of the equation.

A thread may start out with good intintions, but gets totally twisted around until the Original Queation is lost in the translation.

It then may be come so contriversial that it is way over the top of the scale.

Re: Why do Greeks always feel the need to be threatened?
 

i believe it was mentioned in that thread that it was closed becasue there were already many threads that were started about the book. i wouldn't take it personally. threads are closed or merged all the time when they are repeats.

honestly, it's a valid question.

If we are so outraged and ashamed at these depictions then we need to change them. Reduce the emphasis on social events, increase service as opposed to philanthropy, alter pledgeships to reduce hazing and drinking.

If that causes numbers to decrease, so be it. If you can't sustain a viable house with that then don't. Get a floor in a dorm, or share a house with another org.

Look, the majority of people on GC probably care a bit more about their orgs than their brothers and sisters. I'm certain that all of us can point to members of our orgs who don't live ritual and act the same way these ladies do. If we truly want to end negative perceptions we need to cull the herd, lose the dead weight and not be afraid to take long, hard objective looks at the actions of our organizations.

Kitso
KS 361

You haven't been around GC that long (unless you've been lurking) but threads getting deleted happens all the time don't take it personal... there were a lot of threads popping up about the book and it makes people crazy when there are 6 different threads talking about the same thing (not necessary) I'm sorry that your experience wasn't everything that it could've been. but a lot of us did have good experiences and we want people to know that too...

I've been on GC long enough to see the trends. Everytime a negative aspect of greek life is brought up, it gets knocked down.

As for greeks who have had good experences I have no problem with you sharing it but let the ones who have had less luck express themseves too, or as in Robbins case, reveal thier issues.

For someone's who motta is "Aim High, do or die" It will not hurt to see the bad in things if only we try to act to improve as well.

Re: Re: Why do Greeks always feel the need to be threatened?
 

*snaps*

If you hate greek life so much, if you hate the people here so much, and you're no longer greek- then why on earth are you posting on this site?

People are allowed to comment on how the feel about the situation with the book. It affects every single one of us. And there's a lot more than just her book- she's been on a media blitz- talk shows, magazines, newspapers, etc. Just because people haven't read the book doesn't mean they don't have a right to talk about the situation.

I'm sorry that you had a negative experience, but don't take it out on us. For every person that has a negative experience with greek life, there are 100s or 1000s of men and women who have had a great experience. And a lot of those people who had a "negative" experience, it was in part because of themselves- either they put up with stuff they shouldn't have, or they had a bad attitude, etc.

People naturally react to negativity with negativity. Ms. Robbins chose to portray greeks in a negative light. Greeks are going to be negative about that. You had a negative experience with greek life, so you post a lot of negative posts about greek life and sorority members. You choose to consistently post in a negative manner, so people are going to have negative feelings towards you. It's all a big circle of negativity.

No wonder we all wants some positivity in greek life........

I do see some of the bad in sorority life and I know it's not all good all the time, and my chapter does "Aim High" and strive to make positive changes but when someone comes here just to whine... (not that you really did, but there are those who have) then we who did have a good experience are going to whine back.

Okay so just because I chose not to be involved with a sorority after some shady shit went down, mind you that I was already a sister and was active for some years, now I cannot visit or let along post on this site?!

I think not.

So what...just because I dont bear letters now, am I not good enough for this site?!

Just as diplicted in the book, sororities refuse to accept anyone other than themselves.

So THANK YOU very much kddani for helping me prove my point once again. People like you who think that since i am no longer greek, I cannot talk about greek are more farther from the truth.

:mad:

Never said you couldn't visit the site or that you weren't "good enough" for the site. Your words. I was asking WHY you would want to be on a greek site???

You seem to hate greek life and have a huge chip on your shoulder about it. Everything you say about it is negative.

I hate cats. I don't go on a cat-lovers site and b!tch about them.

I'm a democrat. I don't go to republican group meetings.

Why subject yourself to something you can't stand?

Actually, I think her point was more "WHY DO YOU CARE???"

I learned a long time ago not to devote energy to things I hate. You hate us, yet you devote a lot of time to us. And as she pointed out, you have posted nothing but negativity about us. Why would we like you?

If you want to bitch about us, you'll get a lot further with people who agree with you...........

I had a bad experience but I did not let it get me down. In fact, some of my best freinds are still active in the chapter as well as other girls in other organizations. I have nothing against greek life. I do however think greeks always feel the need to get threatened.

All I did was comment on the book, which seems to be a bad thing on this site and then it stuck me, after reading all the "bad things" about this book, not one person stepped outside of the box to say "hey wait a minute, this book is true." its almost like everyone tries their hardest not to see it.

As for me and this site, I joined this site when I was an active member in my sorority but since then see it not a problem to keep returning.

Reread the thread. Some people do acknowledge that some of the stories are true. But many of them are old (as in several decades ago), or very very rare.

It's fine to express your opinion. But in doing so you don't have to tell everyone else they're wrong and "prideful".

Perhaps if you don't post in such an angry manner sometimes your thoughts and ideas would get a better reception

The issues with the piece of crap loosely referred to as a "book" are as such:

1. She used sketchy sources.
2. She used sources that are 20+ years old and no more relevant now than a 20 year old Cobol book.
3. The "thousands of interviews with sorority members" cannot be proven or disproven as she doesn't cite actual names or campuses, and she doesn't seem to have tried to verify the women's memberships to make sure it's not just someone perping.
4. The publicity she's given for the book has been very negative towards Greeks, no matter how much she says she liked and respected the "girls" she "shadowed". It shoots her claim of wanting to do a fair and balanced book to hell.

I wouldn't have a problem if she decided to do a fictionalized book and called it thus. I do have a problem with it being presented as 100% true journalism.

and ditto what Danielle said...no one cares if you come back here or not but everything you post about Greek life is negative. It's like you are setting yourself up to get ripped on so you can justify your decision to disaffiliate from your sorority. You even tell Dani thanks for helping you "prove your point."

People on this site are not going to say, "oh yeah, this book is true" if they ahven't witness or experienced these things.
Her book is a blanket statement about sororities, and quite frankly it's not true...in my experience.

My sisters have never ever hurt me, physically or mentally. So no, I wasn't hazing, so no, not all sororities haze.
My sisters have always been there fore me when I needed them.
There isn't rampant drug use, we have no house (so our members are not "forced" to live together).
I have sisters that are appying to med school, alums that are now new mothers.
I cannot and WILL NOT say this book is true, when it's not!

Yes, I will admit that bad stuff happens, but it's not everywhere.

what may be true for one may not be true for another.

i have never read the book... don't plan on it either. from the "reviews" i have read on here... it already sounds like a waste of my time.

My experience in greek life wasn't all flowers and bunnies and crap, but i am not gonna agree with a book without a valid source (again, what I have gathered from reviews.)

my guess is that you had a bad time, found a book that reinforced that bad time, and now you agree with robbins' writings. Fine with me... just don't assume that everyone else is trying to cover something up.

And like those who stated above me... posts that are redundant/repeated get deleted often.

and i am spent...

ETA: because I made no sense in my original post.

I think many people in greek orgs feel threatened when people start saying negative things about our beloved groups because we ARE being threatened. The system isn't perfect, we are humans who make mistakes, and there are tons of things that go on that aren't good. Many mothers, college students, and univerity administrators want to use each and every episode as a reason to shut everyone down. Not to evaluate how to change things to make it better, but to shut down the system, college by college. They did it at my University in the 40's, and they have done it elsewhere.

If we care about the longevity of our groups (which I do- since I had a wonderful experience, and hope to give others to have that chance as well) we need to make sure that 1) Universities see that our orgs contribute positively to our members and our communities and 2) women continue to join our groups. In order to do this we need to make sure that our chapters strive to be the best people they can be, and that people recognize this as the case. That is a hard task!! Also, press about sororities tends to be negative. Human interest stories about how an alum group found a member a good OB GYN, and put on a lovely luncheon don't make papers sell. Stories about cat fights and secret rituals are much more appealing. Unfortunately these well-selling (yet rare) stories give both the university administrators, and the potential new members a reason to want greek orgs out of schools, and not to let their daughters join. And while these unfortunate events help us to improve our systems and chapters, the public does not see it as the stepping stone for improvement, but a relic of all chapters in all places, even if there is a disclaimer.

ETA- I'm sorry you had a bad experience, and I wish it had been different for you.

Whoo-hoo! I totally agree with your post.
As far as I am concerned, the book is not true

My chapter has no house (although I would love one), is very egalitarian when it comes to its business, has wonderful scholars (My pledge class has two girls in Law school, one getting her PhD in Microbiology, one studying aeronautical engineering, one MD, and many others who plan to get higher degrees in the next 3-5 years including me). We do not haze our new members. In fact, we give them a written description of hazing and tell them to tell the president, pledge educator, an advisor or their RA if someone asks them to do something they consider to be hazing. No one owns a Juicy sweatsuit. Oh and when I need someone to be there for me, I can call a Chi Omega, and I know they will help. I would do the same for them.

Re: Why do Greeks always feel the need to be threatened?
 

haha....you lose your own thread duder.

sorry to hijack but...

no one owns a WHAT?

(yet more proof that the book generalizes... cuz I have no idea what a Juicy sweatshirt is... :p )

Re: Why do Greeks always feel the need to be threatened?
 

No, most of us are just trying to hard to "ingore" you, duder (copyright damasa).