The choice: live in the house or depledge
 

Sorority members bemoan being 'pulled in' to house

By Tina Peng
April 12, 2004

Medill freshman Rachael Harlan and her roommate planned to live on North Campus next year, but hours after receiving their housing priority numbers they learned that they would be living together -- just not in the locale they initially had preferred.


The Pi Beta Phi members had been pulled into their sorority house.

According to a poll of Panhellenic Association officials and members, four of Northwestern's 12 sororities conducted random lotteries two weeks ago to determine which members would fill the spaces left vacant in their sorority houses next year.

Alpha Delta Pi, Alpha Phi, Delta Delta Delta and Pi Beta Phi all reported a need to require members to live in the sorority house next year. These last-minute changes caused some freshmen pledges to quickly revise their housing plans.

Harlan said she was surprised at the arbitrary nature of her assignment to the house.

"We were pulled in by people picking a name out of a hat," she said. "It was completely out of our control, which isn't something you'd expect from a sorority."

Although she said she wanted to live in her sorority eventually, Harlan said she would have preferred to live elsewhere her sophomore year.

"(My roommate and I) really wanted to live up north," said Harlan, who currently lives in Shepard Residential College. "To get the whole college experience here is to live up north, to live down south, to live off-campus."

Though Harlan said she initially had reservations about being pulled into her house, she now is looking forward to living in her sorority next year.

"It's going to be a lot of fun," Harlan said. "But it was just an inconvenience at the time."

The roommate Education freshman Nikki Goldwater's planned to live with next year discovered last Monday that she also had been pulled into the Alpha Phi house, which Goldwater said inconvenienced both women.

"We were going to live together next year," Goldwater said. "We had the room that we wanted picked and everything. Now I'm kind of stuck."

Goldwater -- who now hopes to be assigned a single room -- said her roommate was given the choice to live in the house or depledge her sorority. She said other women presented with this option chose not to live in the house, which Goldwater said probably caused her roommate's late notification.

"There were people (in the sorority) who ended up depledging," she said, "so I think people ended up getting in even later than Monday."

Rachel Erwin, the president of A Phi, said a small pledge class forced her sorority to pull in six girls.

"We've never had to pull anyone in before," she said. "Last year we had to have a lottery for the opposite reason."

Laura Spencer, Panhel vice president for public relations, pointed to the inconsistent nature of pulling in members.

"I don't think there's any general trend," she said. "The situation does vary. Sometimes you're asking people to live in and sometimes you don't have space. It's a supply and demand thing."

Spencer said she thought girls women who were asked to live in were presented with a viable housing option.

"I think it's a very competitive alternative to dorms and off-campus apartments in terms of pricing, and I think it's a really good experience," she said.

I have absolutely no sympathy.

-Rudey

It's important during recruitment to stress that there will be a mandatory year to live-in, as a requirement.

And if women are cancelling memberships to avoid living in the sorority residence, these are not the kind of loyal members your organization needs.

I can understand the fact that you must live in the sorority house for one year. Although, the sorority should of first asked what sisters already made arrangements to live in the dorms and whether or not they would like to live in the house this coming school year. People who live in the dorms have to tell housing like in January if they will be living in the dorms (at least on my campus they do). Sororities should have to figure out who's filling the spaces sooner (I'm sure sisters know if they moving out or not in the beginning of the year).

I really don't understand some members not wanting to fulfill their one-year obligation to live in the house. It is SO MUCH FUN and you are pretty much there for everything when it happens... it's one of those things that is hard to explain I guess.

As property manager for my chapter, it completely boggled my mind why some members didn't want to fulfill their obligation -- ESPECIALLY because we will have a beautiful brand new house with brand new everything inside it.

I really don't get it... especially if they are moving right out of the dorms like I did.... I guess it just makes more sense to me for members to move out of the dorms with little or no furniture as opposed to getting an apartment, and fully furnishing the apartment and then having to sell or put all the furniture in storage for the year that the member has to live in the house.

Personally, I am glad the sororities did what they had to do in order to keep the house full. Having a house is a HUGE part of a chapter's finances, so when there are open spots, the chapter is losing money because no matter if the house is full or not, all that money needs to be paid out.

ETA: I also think that if the chapters who did this had older members who hadn't fulfilled their one-year obligation, they should have been first in the "lottery" as opposed to the new members.

:)

New members should know about any amount of time they are required to live in-house. It does sort of smack of poor planning, though, that they weren't notified of this until they had already made other arrangements.

If there is an obligation to live in-house for a certain period of time, or the possibility of being pulled in to fill the house, potential new members should be informed so that they can factor that into their decision process.

One sorority at my school has a large enough house that it's pretty much a given that you will be living in the house during your sophomore, junior, and senior years if you join. You don't like it - don't join.

Another sorority (with a smaller house) handled the question of filling their house in an interesting way. Certain officers had to live in-house. The remaining beds were offered first to seniors, then juniors, then sophomores (freshmen must live in the dorms). If any spots were still unfilled, no one was forced to live in, but all sisters who were eligible to live in but had turned down a bed had to split the rental for the empty spots. That way, the chapter still got its revenue without forcing people to break other housing contracts or arrangements.

I must admit, I find it hard to believe that four houses had neglected to notify their new members of their obligation to live in the house. In all the years I've been involved in sorority & Panhel, I've yet to hear of a chapter that didn't have that clause. I'd be interested in seeing the New Member literature for each of these houses, and would be willing to bet that the clause is there, but maybe not emphasized enough.

I agree with Honey 100%!

Always read what you sign! ;) Outside of the sorority my university does the same thing - if you are registered for on campus housing and your suite is not full they will pull you out and put you in the suite!

Hi C; nice to see you around here again! :)
I'm not sure I understand what you said in your post? You mean if the DPhiE suite wasn't full and you had already chosen a room in Holland or wherever, you could just be forced to give that up and move into the suite? If that is true, who is the one that makes you move; the university or the sorority?

That's pretty screwed up; but then again, Pitt housing has *always* been pretty screwed up! :rolleyes:

This is making news!?

This girl owes the house a year's worth of rent. She agreed to it. She's an adult. If she doesn't want to live there, she'd better damned well pony up the rent. I'm sure her roomates in the sorority house won't mind at all.

At IU all new members are required to live in the houses for at least two years, sometimes all three...at least back then they were. (I am sure exceptions are made for sisters studying abroad, off on internships or student teaching or whatever.) It's made pretty clear during rush...I agree, if you don't like the idea of living in, don't join.

Build a bridge, cry me a river.

The only way I'd have any sympathy for these girls is if they were never informed of their obligations in any way before pledging, which I doubt. This is one area where you (the housing director/housing corp you) have to be a bitch, and if you're not, it can really come back to haunt you big time.

Grrr...I only wish I had had a house to live in, much less one that required me to fulfill any amount of time. I am so jealous of my chapter now. They have had a house for 2 years and are building a new one to move into this fall. I would have gone willingly.

Think they'll let an alumna move in??? Think the boyfriend will mind living on his own?

We had a similiar rule in our chapter. Certain officers had to live-in, which ensured that most of the house was filled. Other officers who had interest got the next priority to live-in, and then among non-officers, we had tie breakers over GPA. In cases where we couldn't fill the house (ironic--- 180 members and only 30 beds!), we would pay to break the lease of a woman's apartment or dorm so she could move in. The ends justified the means in that case.

At another chapter I worked with, they had more beds than members, and it was acknowledged that you lived in for at least one year of membership, usually the year after you joined. If a woman didn't want to live in, she would pay the rent anyway.

I think there's a difference between being told that you are required to live in the house for a year, and being told in April that you have to live in the house NEXT YEAR. It sounds like there are women who will be sopohmores next fall who already made arrangements for housing and planned to live in junior year. It's a terrible inconvenience for them and their roommates to suddenly have to make other arrangements.

Not everybody loves the idea of living in a house full of people, and I can understand that it's sometimes a requirement, but it also makes me wonder why sororities often have such gigantic houses that they can't fill without making people unhappy. A woman I knew in college who was in an NPHC sorority that didn't have a house said it best, in my opinion -- yes, they're my sisters, but that doesn't mean I want to live with them!

You should be our house mom!!!! hehehe :)

What Valkyrie said... it sounds like there originally Wasn't a live-in requirement, but that changed late in the year when the house wasn't full.

I would have LOVED to have a house and live-in.... but I'd be pretty upset about it if I wasn't told about it until months after I'd made other housing plans!

Being a Greek means you're not just thinking about yourself anymore.

In my work environment there is crap that comes up all the time that you hate. Things you can't control and things others are fully responsible for - but you swallow it up and take one for the team.

-Rudey

We have issues with this. We have a system in place to decide who will get pulled in, we don't just draw names out of a hat. I don't understand the reluctanct to move in.....you have way more privacy than the dorms, you have great food cooked for you and a cleaning lady. What crappy little campus apartment is going to offer you a cook and a maid?

Honestly I think a lot of the girls avoid the house because of the male visitation policy.....no men in the bedroom wings. But are people really that horny? I mean, come on.....it isn't like you can't go shack up with him!

I have to agree with this. We have this problem every year with the chapter that I support (my own) and I have no sympathy.

For us, the live in requirements are CLEARLY stated in our bylaws, and now in the standing rules of the chapter, so there's no reason they wouldn't know the rules.

And, harsh as it may be, my response is "let them deactivate, just give me your pin on the way out".

I think it was one of those things where quota was small, and when they figured out who wanted to live in the house, there weren't as many people as they thought they had. Totally forgiveable. Besides, it's only 6 people! The sorority girls should be lucky they have a house at all!

that varies from campus to campus-- at my school, only one sorority (and I dont know about the fraternities) had a cook. We didnt. We had a kitchen and had to cook ourselves. we had a cleaning service come once a week or so. It was more expensive to live in our house than it was off campus. Since my school isnt huge on Greek life, most sisters have lots of GDI friends they want to live with. While the dorms sucked (at least back then, I heard a lot were remodeled) and I wouldnt live there again, I never got to experience off-campus life because I was pulled into the house for my junior year. My pledge class was pulled in first before the older sisters, which was unfair because some of the older sisters avoided living there at all, even though its in our bylaws that you have to live there for one year.

However, once I was there... I chose to stay Senior year. Living in the house DID have its advantages and was a ton of fun. But now I wished I had one year completely off campus where I could have thrown parties and not have to worry about the alcohol policy.

I'm not sure that's entirely fair. It's not a question of horniness. I know that some women don't want to give up that personal freedom.

The visitation and alcohol policies are one reason that my chapter voted not to have a house. But then, I attend a residential school with only 1300 students; we're all in the dorms. One of my littles and grand-littles lives across the hall from me, the others live upstairs, and still others live down the hall. We're constantly in and out of each other's rooms anyway.

Really, it depends on the campus. But I agree that the chapters in question should sit down and better articulate their live-in policies, including how and when sisters might be pulled in. But in Northwestern's defense, they do have January formal recruitment, so they don't know what their next year's numbers are going to look like until February or so.

Chapter size can have a lot to do with the problem. But that is or might not be the only problem.

The Alums felt our old house was so unsafe and we could not feel it, (One Active paid not to live in it) that we finally decided to demolish it. We now have no house, but still own the land. Our numbers are extemely low to a disterous point.

School size can also present a + or - situation, food service or catered meals in the house or hook into the meal service of the school.

But, as far as filling the Chapter House, it is a must. Why, because that is where a Chapter can make money for the chapter. Money helps fund social, charity, and recruitment functions.

Every member should be recuired to live in the house at least one year or maybe two depending on the filling of beds.

Usually, the freshman have to live on campus their first year, so Soph., Jr, live in the house and the Sen. have the option to move to an apartment unless they want to stay in the house.

Maybe the way they did it at such a late date seems to be the problem. The situation should have been aired out earlier and if it was, maybe it is just these two people who do not want to abide by the rules. If not, then why did you want to join a Greek Organization in the first place?

If the beds are not full, then why not charge each member a % to pay for the bed space that is not in use? We used parlor fees anyway for those that did not live in the house, but still used it as the focal point of the Group. They could and would tear the house up just as the ones living there.

I was glad I lived in My Fraternity House, we kept it up, maybe not fancy and was rented, but we took care of it ourselfs. Self Policing. Lived there until I got married, wished I had lived in it anyway!:D

See, I can't imagine NOT wanting to live in your house! I wanted soo badly to get into my house, and was thrilled the day I found out I could move in! I believe that it's far more cost efficient, and just a better situation. You're never for want of anything, you're usually in a prime location, and you have at least 45 people and a house mom taking care of you! That, and you know about everything that's going on, and wil be less likely to miss important events because "you weren't at the house when they announced it." Those girls should be happy as anything that they are so provided for by their sorority, and if they are pulling out just because they didn't get their ways... well maybe they didn't really belong there in the first place.

I would believe that it's mandatory to live in as long as the house isn't filled, point blank.

I think this is an issue with winter rush, which Northwestern has. A lot of the girls who rush have probably already decided where they're living for next fall before they even go through recruitment. Because these girls can't really sign leases to live in the sorority house until they've gone through initiation, that means March or April before they know where they're going to live. I don't think that's fair unless the chapter makes it clear from the beginning of the new member period that there's a chance they will have to live in -- and it doesn't sound like that happened here.

Also, drawing names from a hat seems kind of like a weird way to decide unless nobody wanted to live in and all of them had equally good (or equally bad) excuses for not doing it.

Amen! Having been a House Manager I could go on about this for pages and pages, but all I'll say is (and I know this was stated before): You are no longer an individual when you join. If you have to move in to the house to make sure the bills are paid and it can stay open then so be it. I don't believe these girls were not informed of a housing obligation when they rushed or pledged. And if you'd rather depledge or desister than move in, your chapter didn't need you anyway.

I speak from experience when I say that operating a chapter house that is not filled to capacity is one of the worst things you can do to your organization. It's much easier on everyone involved to clearly explain the live-in requirement from day one, and ENFORCE it. Can your chapter survive on your campus without a physical house? In this day and age, it's the rare unhoused chapter who can grow and endure on a campus where all other chapters are housed. Again, experience talking there.

The bills still need to be paid whether the house is full or not. Guess who is responsible for the bills? That's right, the chapter! What if the chapter doesn't pay the bills? Guess who pays, the surplus or house/building fund. What happens when all that money runs out? Well, either you start over from the beginning or sell the house. Again, from experience, starting over from the beginning is HARD on everyone--collegiate members, alumnae, advisers, house corp. officers--EVERYONE.

Either you fill the house or sell the house. No games, no silliness, either fill it or sell it. Someone doesn't want to live in, fine, then if that means you have to suspend a member then do it, and collect every dime they owe the chapter and house corp when you pull their pin.

While it sounds so harsh, it is so true!:(

Not full House, dont pay bills, sell the Chapter house, close Chapter.

Of course a lot depends on the size of the Chapter, the results will still come out the same=Bottom Line! Pay or go. Very simple!

Say a Beautiful House, nicest on Campus, dont meet requirments, house drags finances, house closes, Chapter Gone!

Very Simple. Called Mathematics and Economics!:(

Join or dont join!

In for The Ounce, In for The Pound!:)

Be a part of something special or dont be there!:eek:

Since when did our organizations become more about making money for the house than sisterhood? It seems like so many NPC sororities are getting to the point where it's more about $$$ than anything else, and isn't that losing sight of where our organizations should be?

Where do you draw the line between "no longer being an individual" when you join a sorority and being a pushover wuss? You are always an individual no matter what, and I would hope that people would remember that -- I hope that nobody is so "dedicated" to her organization that she'd lie so she can give blood because someone told her to, or that she'd let someone haze her because someone in her organization said she should.

It's no better to say "You don't want to live in the house -- so fine, quit, you can't be my sister any more" than it is to say "I don't want to live in the house so I quit." Neither one is very sisterly. I think that sometimes we get so caught up in how we think things should be we don't realize that not everybody feels the same way.

I wouldn't say you're no longer an individual, but dammit, there are responsibilities involved in being Greek and it's not a bad word.

We went into terrible debt because we were too nice about letting people out of their obligation to live in the house. They weren't RA's, they didn't live at home, they didn't have loan issues (i.e. a scholarship requiring you live on campus). Maybe if we would have taken a firmer stand we wouldn't have had to deal with all the money issues (which led to other issues) that we did.

And WE had to deal with on-campus/off campus issues. Reading this article, basically what has happened is that they have had to move from one on-campus location to another, and they can't live with the person they picked. Boo fricking hoo!! As I said before...the only way I excuse this is if they weren't told that this "pulling in" can happen. If it was and they signed on without reading the fine print, consider it a lesson learned.

Believe me, I wish there WASN'T such a focus on the house. It would probably enable my sorority to have lots more chapters. But until everyone decides that the size/appearance of your house doesn't matter, it's going to continue to be a factor in Greek life that members have to be prepared to support.

And see, to me it sounds like that's exactly what happened. The girls sounded like they were surprised that they were being forced to live in the house.

I know a lot of sororities will, deliberately or not, misrepresent their live-in policies. During rush a lot of sororities will say that their policy is "You need to live in the house for at least one year unless it's full." In reality, most groups have the policy that you must live in until the house is full. And if these girls were told the wrong thing, I don't think they SHOULD be under any obligation to live in. If you go through rush or even pledging being told that you're supposed to live in the house for a year and you planned on doing it your junior year, it is not fair for the houses to force you to live in. And if living in means you have to break your lease, I think the sorority should reimburse you for that.

Of course we don't really know what they were told so it's all speculation in this instance. But I don't think the girls would be quite so surprised about being "pulled in" if they'd been told from the beginning that it might happen.

The simple fact is that without keeping afloat - not making a profit, making enough to keep operating - there will be no organization. As individuals, we must do what is best for the whole in order to ensure that the whole continues to be there for the organization.

On a different note, I too was House Manager when I was an active. We used the name-in-a-hat system for the privilege of living in the house. I will echo the sentiment that it is hard to believe that FOUR sororities' members were caught unaware of this.

I understand that. I just wonder if things will ever change in terms of housing -- if numbers ever decline substantially, it could mean financial disaster for a chapter that has a huge, expensive house. Will there ever be a move away from that -- will organizations ever sell the big, huge expensive houses to reduce costs?

For us, it's NOT an issue of cost.

Yes, we have a house, but it's owned by the University. THEREFORE, if we don't stay at a certain % of the occupancy that they set, we can lose the house.

And yes, I would find it very hard to believe that they weren't aware of the whole living in situation either. Being higher on the list to choose your room (or living out) was the main reason for getting points for attendance and grades, etc. for us.

Plus, there are schools where living in the whole time is a given and they don't have trouble getting there.

It's all a mindset. If they know what's required going in, there shouldn't be any surprises.

I can see where you are coming from as far as why does the house have to be such a focus, but I strongly disagree with your comparison. No where in our by-laws does it say, "You must allow yourself to be hazed" or "You must do whatever it takes to win Greek Week." What it does say though, in explicit terms, is that you must fulfill your housing obligation (which is now 2 years for my chapter). Maybe not having houses, especially huge expensive ones would help some things, like people who don't want to live there, chapter finances, etc. But having a house does a lot for a chapter and I think it can really boost the sisterhood because you really get to know each other. Just ask the people who don't have houses, some of them may say they are glad not to have the hassle, but a lot of them would die to have a place to live, eat, meet, have events, store things (especially ritual things), etc.

I said what I did about hazing in response to what was said earlier about how you're not an individual any more once you join a sorority -- I just think that can be a dangerous thing to say to a young woman who could possibly be taken advantage of if she gives up too much of herself for the "greater good" of an organization. I agree with what you're saying about bylaws -- if it says you have to do it, you have to do it, period -- but I can understand why it would upset people.

There is absolutely NO EXCUSE for not living in the house. Granted, there are special circumstances in which a girl can be excused (i.e. caregiver etc.) but in no way should a girl be shocked that she is required to live in the house. I learned from Day 1 of rush that you are required to live in the house at least 1 year.
The way it's done at our chapter house, the only person that MUST live there and has priority is the President. Volunteers are always appreciated b/c there are always girls who are thrilled to live there.
IF there is still a room or two available, then we hold a lottery with the Freshman being drawn first. Sophomores are drawn second, then juniors. Seniors are last and are exempt unless they want to. This is b/c by the time they are seniors, most girls have lived in the house at some point.
Girls usually have to notify in advance if they have a good reason as to why they can't live in the house. If they get exempt, we go down the list to the next person and so on and so forth.
Finally, if there is still room available, then between all the girls who don't live there, they pay out of their own pocket the money that would otherwise be coming out of one girl. It's very effective b/c no one wants to pay for rent they don't technically owe. Once this happens, a surprisingly # of girls are willing to move in.