Was College a "New Start" for you?
 

When you went off to college, did you think of it as a new start? Did you use the opportunity to "clean house" and develop a new image? Or did you continue to look/act/whatever the same way you did in high school? I started wondering about this while I was reading a rush thread.


As for me, I guess my image (for lack of a better word) didn't change much between high school and college. So many people I knew went to Pitt with me that it would have been hard had I wanted to change anything. Plus, I had made a point of going to Oakland (the part of town where Pitt is) to hang out on weekends so a lot of greeks already knew me.

On the other hand, I found out that another Mod went to high school with a girl I used to know who went to college with my ex-boyfriend. She was *shocked* when I told her that this girl was considered to be this gorgeous goddess, desired by all who knew her (ok, I exaggerated, but not much! lol) The mod told me this same goddess was bookish, bordering on nerdish in high school. But when she went to college 2,000+ miles away, she somehow managed to shed that image. (either that, or standards at her college weren't as high as at her high school)

I think college could be a great opportunity for someone who wants to reinvent him/herself, but I suppose you'd have to choose a school far from home. What do you all think?

That's exactly what I did...I grew up in FL, but went to school 12 hours away in NC. I had a completely different life at WCU. I hated high school and most of the people who went there with me (except for my closest friends), so I didn't care to stay at an in-state school...mom was pretty mad when I turned down all the scholarships to UF and FSU for not as much scholarship $$$ and out-of-state tuition!

But I had such an awesome experience in college that I'm glad I chose what I did. I wouldn't be the person I am now if I had gone to a different school.

ETA: I probably also wouldn't have met my husband! :D

I'm probably the wrong person to ask, for a couple reasons. I was only 16 when I graduated from high school, and even though I had a scholarship to "a major school in the South", my parents didn't feel that I was mature enough to live away from home. And in retrospect, I wasn't. I went to Pitt with the idea that I'd go for one year, then transfer.

I've often referred to Pitt as Grades 13, 14, 15, and 16.

For me, perfection started at an early age and I decided I needed to stay perfect in college.

-Rudey
--So no

This is exactly what I did...and I only had to go 200 miles away, not 2000! The majority of my HS class went to IUP, UPJ or Penn State which is why I did not. So it really was easy to pick a school where I didn't know people.

There were only 2 people from my graduating class who went to college w/ me and they were guys...so they weren't going to make catty remarks about what a geek I was in high school (well, maybe one of them would LOL). I remember at my 5 year class reunion the amount of people looking google-eyed at my "de-geekification" got to be a bit much and I said to them "Thank God you guys are here, you're used to seeing me like this."

I changed my looks, but as far as the way I acted, it really didn't change much. The main thing that changed was I wasn't dealing with people who didn't remember my fashion mistakes from 7th grade. So my image changed, I really did not. I just was fortunate enough to find a place where I could be myself and it was a good thing rather than a bad thing.

College wasn't just a new start for me; it was a revolution. I went to my HS reunion and many, many people who'd known me well did not recognize me. I look different, I feel different, and I act different -- and in every case, the change was for the better. Everyone from my HS went to college, mostly out of state, so there would have been a fresh start almost no matter where I went, but the fact that the college I chose was a perfect fit for me made all the difference. It was NOTHING like high school. Within a couple of months, that college had worked miracles in terms of my self-confidence, happiness, and sociability.

College was a new start for me. In high school, I was very introverted and only talked to my close friends. I didn't date at all either. My friends were a part of the "popular" crowd, I was kinda the tag a long.


Only 1 girl from my high school went to college with me. I think I was able to become the person I had always wanted to be because I was no longer in someone else's shadow (my so-called best friend in high school was homecoming queen etc). I was able to date and go out with guys, where in high school I was never given the time of day.

I think joining ZTA was the best thing I could have done for myself in college. I believe being in ZTA helped me to develop into the person I am today! I am a lot happier and a better person for it.

I don't think I changed much when I started college. However, I went to a school where only two other people with whom I graduated went -- I didn't want to go to the same school where everyone from my H.S. went and end up hanging out with high school friends in college. I had to start from scratch making new friends, and I'm glad I had that experience.

Kind of, but in a different sense than the others have mentioned.

I went to high school in a *really* small, *really* naive town. When I went to college (still in a small town, but one whose student body alone was 25 times larger than my home town) my eyes were opened to a lot of other viewpoints and ways of life than what I was used to, and my perspective changed accordingly.

As far as my personality goes... in high school I was kind of B group... not super popular, but well liked. I was kind of quiet and I'll admit... kind of strange.. I think part of the reason I was so well accepted was that I was from one of the right families, which was everything where I grew up... if I'd been from a different family I probably would have gotten picked on instead of just being "unique" :)

In college, though.... I shed some of the awkwardness, some of the "strangeness" (though I'm sure some would like to argue I'm still plenty strange), and gained a TON of self-confidence. Because of that, the way I interacted with people was a lot different... I took better care of myself, was friendlier to others, etc.

I went to a college 3 hours away from my hometown, but it might as well have been 3000 miles. No one from my hometown went to my school (most didn't bother going to college). If some of them had, it probably would have hindered my change... so I'm glad they stayed away!

I got as far away as I possibly could from my high school. When you grow up with the same people for 14 years, they can really make your life a living hell for mistakes that you made when you were 4 years old.

Senior year of high school my friends all treated me like dirt, so I really spent a lot of time alone. Though, I will admit, in high school I lost my ugly duckling image. That was a nice change, but no one I went to school with would recognize it because they refused to change their image of me. This was a big reason my frends treated me so awful. They were tired of me "dragging them down".

Unfortunately, I gained a lot of weight when I went back to college, but I chose a tech school and it was a lot easier for me to be accepted because I was WAY more well-rounded than some of the kids who came here. I actually left my room and participated in activities. So a lot of people on campus know me as a leader, but if you told kids back home that, they'd be shocked.

I'm so glad I came here instead of UIUC. The closest classmate is 5 hours away, at FSU.

That's so funny -- I was avoiding UIUC as well since that's where most of my high school classmates went.

OMG yes!!! I wasn't popular or a geek. I was in the middle crowd. I took a step out and when to Kent when 90% of my graduating class went to Akron (though Kent is a mere 30 minutes further).

I also chose to stay on campus while everyone else I knew lived at home. It cost more, but I wanted the experience.

I didn't stand out a lot in H.S. I didn't get anything I really truly wanted like Class Secretary, Student Council Prez, etc.

I wanted to be greek when I came here freshman year, but I was scared I wouldn't get who I wanted (see above about never winning). So I waited and Voila! :)

Tri-Sigma is a place where I feel I can stand belong and express myself, unlike in high school when I never got to be a part of anything I felt would be good for me.

Yes, college was a main part of making myself the way I am today. I hated high school w/a passion! If I wasn't in band I wasn't happy :p At my high school you can only get into Honors programs, etc only if you have the "right last name". :rolleyes: So, when I came to college they didn't care what your last name was :p I got involved early on w/Greek life and really got involved in all the programs around here. Also, when I first started dating my boyfriend it got me even more into the college, it didn't hurt that Teke's are the "it" fraternity on campus :cool:

Coming to college really let me find out who I was and how I was going to get there. It was one of the best decisions in my life :D

I don't know if I made a "New Start" as much as I was able to evolve a lot more than I did in high school. I got along with most everyone in high school, with a class of 100 you pretty much have to, but I wasn't in any one clique. Out of my class, maybe 40 went to 4-year schools and only 3-4 came to Iowa State. People didn't know I was a music/drama/band "geek." They didn't know the overinvolved super achiever I was in high school. I was still me, just in a larger fishpond.

It was also a harsh lesson in reality for me because I learned I didn't know it all, I actually had to work for things in college and I couldn't do everything I thought I could. I learned I had some boundaries but that I was stronger than I thought I was. I had to suffer through bitter disappointments by people I called my "sisters" and learned how to dress, act and look better. (the dressing/looking part is still evolving. I have much better fashion sense now than I ever did in hs or college)

I think my 10-year hs reunion will be interesting. I don't get home much anymore, even though it's not too far away, and haven't really heard much what's going on with other classmates. I'm sure they all have the same idea of me that they did in hs and I can't wait to see how some of them have changed.

If it makes you feel any better.... those kids had a hard fall when they got into college or into "the real world". I remember the first time something didn't go my way and nobody cared my last name was G--------, if the kids from your school were like me, they got a good kick in the ass :)

Unfortunately, it's also like this at some colleges.

Me too! It seemed like half of my graduating class went to UIUC, and I had no desire to go where anyone else from my high school went. I was the only one from my high school at Ball State (although several people went after I did)and I liked having a totally clean slate. I didn't really have to change who I was or my image, it was just I didn't have any baggage.

High school was okay - I got along well with everyone and knew almost everyone (at least superficially) in our class of 450. But I was kind of a nerd, but had a small group of close friends, and very little social life. I am almost 6', which doesn't make it easy to get dates in high school.

But in college, the environment changed and I did have a new start - being tall and thin and well-read didn't suck anymore. And as someone said - it's also nice to be away from the people who remember your 7th grade fashion faux-pas.

Sometimes I'd be sitting around someone's room, and they'd be comparing their experiences on homecoming court or in cheerleading, and I'd sort of wonder how I wound up with these girls.

But I didn't spend too much time worrying about it.

changing from HS
 

To amplify what 33grl said: Not being expected to change to fit in was what I loved about ASA. I saw my best friend go through a lot of pressure to fit the Chi O mold (she was strikingly beautiful, but WILD, and they were convinced they could work the wild out of her.).

Even though the ASAs weren't at all geeky, they had no problem having a bookworm in their midst. Never tried to change me at all. In fact, I became go-to girl for odd questions.

My favorite:
"Pattie, you read a lot. Why don't Jews celebrate Easter?"
This in a sorority with the highest percentage of Jewish girls outside SDT.

In High School I was a class officer, played sports and everyone new me, I also knew a lot of students.

College Time, My Dad said I could work my Senior Year, buy a car and get a job or go to college!

Da, me I chose college!:( Would have been retired by now!

But, chose a College that no one else from my HS went to. Did not want to have a ride along HS experience. Needed New, new people and new experience. Boy did I get it!:eek: Freshman Hazing on a college level!:mad: Well in my dumb assed way, I broke that rule!;) Damn did I stir S**T up and had no plan to do it! It just happened. Of course, I was asked to leave after 4 years!:D

Actually, getting booted out of there and a College Fraternity led me on to other things!:cool:

Very long story, PM me if you want to hear all of the sordid details!:)

I came into college the same ole' me. Unfortunately, I decided to stay in the my hometown, it was funny still, because no one I went to high school with came here. Anyway, after two years I am leaving and going to a larger school with a bigger Soc program. Small and Private was definitely the wrong decision. A lot of people consider college a time to re-invent one's self. But I say, I was created on my day of birth, you can only be so perfect....lol
Would you repaint the Mona Lisa?

tehetehe

deuika started over in college because she gave up the crack... :)

I thought that I reinvented myself in college, became more confident, more flirtatious, more outgoing in general, but then I went to my 20 year high school reunion. I told a classmate that I was pretty much a wallflower in high school and he laughed hysterically at that statement. Apparently I was all of those things in high school too, I just didn't perceive that I was!

Dee

In my town, your label is pretty much determined by the time you finish middle school and that's it. Everyone knew who I was in high school and most of the teachers liked me (except the gym teacher and the journalism teacher, but I didn't like them either :p), but I wasn't, like, Homecoming Queen or anything like that. The "popular" guys would never think of dating me because 1) I wasn't blonde, 2) I wasn't easy, and 3) I lived out of town and didn't go to the same elementary school they did. They'd flirt with me, but oh, no, they could never ask me out because it wouldn't be the right thing to do. So I went to college at a pretty big state university, and I was absolutely miserable for the first semester and a half. I would cry and cry all the time, and I hated it with a passion. The thing that bothered me the most was that you used your student number to identify yourself more than your own name. But after that it got better--much better...I joined DZ, I made some friends, I ditched my high school boyfriend, I got my anxiety under control. I personally don't think I have changed, but people in college definitely perceived me differently than my high school classmates did. My roommate in the sorority house told me once that I was "the most laid-back person" she's ever met. I was like, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You've got to be kidding!" I mentioned that I was shy one time around some of my other sorority sisters, and they looked at me like I had sprouted horns--they just couldn't believe that. The best feeling, though, was when I went to the fair in my hometown summer before last, and I ran into a group of the hotsy-totsy guys from high school (who, I might add, stayed around here mostly). At the end of the night, Mr. I-Was-Too-Good-For-You-In-High-School himself asked me out on a date, but I told him, no, I just didn't think I was interested. That felt so good. :D

I know how that is. I hated college for first year as well. It wasn't so bad my second year first semester, but I spent a lot of time by myself and avoided social contact in fear of a repeat of my first year. I tried to bust a clean slate at Cal, but it just didn't work out. I had come from a high school where most of the kids had known each other from elementary school and picked on/excluded those who they didn't know -- so I was practically friendless with the exception of a few of the other "non-Charter Open Elementary" kids and I was always told that I would have a great time at college, that I would find my place and everything else.

For whatever reason, people didn't take to me right away, probably because I had a bit of trouble trusting people because of social anxiety and the fact that a lot of the people had already lived together the previous year and weren't exactly thrilled about letting a "frosh" hang out with them.

The resultant episode with severe depression halfway through my first semester and the remainder of the year didn't help either. I also had terrible roommates who were wholly unsympathetic who thought I was weird for being reclusive and sleeping a lot because of the depression and word got out pretty quick in the dorm that I was "crazy" and "weird."

I almost didn't come back my second year -- was about to join the army as an 11B infantry (translation: grunt) and go to Iraq because after a miserable high school experience (some of which, individuals in particular, followed me to Cal.) and then a miserable first year at Cal made me feel like I really didn't have a niche anywhere -- so I figured I'd go have myself remolded elsewhere. Fortunately, I didn't enlist and went back to Cal, hauled my first semester of second year and decided to try the Greek System in Spring of 2004.

Let's just say, I've never been happy and I finally got that clean break I was looking for. Things have never been better and I have never been happier. :D Pledge semester as the only guy was tough, but spring is always slow at Cal for recruitment.

I went to college 350 miles away and only 3 people from my hs went there. I grew up in a huge city and went to college in a small town. I got tired of the small town and came back home were everyone goes to college when they get tired of where they are. When I meet people again they dont even know me really. I was a wallflower and now am very outgoing etc. I think most people change at this point in their life though.

Yes, Crack Is Whack
I've Moved On To More "Elite" Products...lol

I grew up in a college town. As such, it was "expected" that I would attend the local college. However, I did not and it was totally a new start.

However, the "college experience" was ingrained in me. As such, going to a different college environment was not foreign.

I'd like to add that my bio-brothers - who are members of the same fraternity - never pressured me to join the chapter at my campus. As Providence would have it, I did so on my own account.

I was definitely B group in highschool. A semi quiet person but super involved with an extracurricular list as long as my arm. I wasn't overly outgoing and nobody, I mean nobody, really knew the real me. With the crowd I was in, it was difficult for me to be 100% myself. I went to school in a different state where I didn't know a single soul and decided to start off as the real me from Day1. I figured if I was myself than I would attract the friends that liked that. Best though I ever had in my life. I found that the real me is a lot of fun, loud, outgoing, confident, and that people actually liked being around me! I go back to my hometown and people don't even recognize me, I changed my look some from highschool, started dressing more grownup, doing my hair, and wearing makeup occasionally. Between looks and personality people hardly know me :) It is kind of nice when Mr. Out-of-My-League in highschool who lives across the street at home flirted with me when I came home thinking I was a girl from school that came home with me or something and then realized it was actually me and was like "wow, oh my gosh!" :cool: One of my friends that I graduated with transferred up to my school after I had been there for a year and she told me that I had changed a lot since DHS but she said that it was a great change and that she can tell that my happiness and confidence levels are so much higher than in highschool! So I definitely reinvented myself in college!

TSteven -

How did the people from your high school cope at college?

I always felt a little sorry for the kids from State College High - so many of them got a free ride because their parents were employees that they all ended up at Penn State (felt sorry for them socially, NOT economically!!) .

Every fraternity and sorority had at least 2 people in it from SCHS. Really nice girls would come through rush and get heavily cut because they had pi55ed off someone in 10th grade or something and she had gotten in the sorority first. One of the few sisters I didn't like had rushed as a freshman, and proceded to cut every girl from SCHS that came through rush for the next 4 years. Ugly ugly ugly.

My best friend goes to a big party school and her friends seem to be really superficial and stuck up. She's reveling in it though because she always wanted to be popular.

Some days I'm tempted to give her a reality check and send her friends pictures of her bright orange foundation. :p

I came from a small southern town and most everyone knew everyone and their social status and what not. Similar to what someone noted before - which were the "good families" and which were not. Think "Steel Magnolias".

In any case, it was expected that you would not only go to college after high school, but that you would graduate. And while in college, you would join "the right" groups, make good grades and be friends with the "right people". As such, there was more pressure on those who attended the Home Town U. because every move made was being watched by everyone it town.

When my high school class graduated, we had quite a few independent minded people. Part of it was the era, but mainly people who didn't care to be pigeonholed. As such, my high school class had the highest number of graduates go out of town for college. And while I don't mean to toot my own horn here, we might be considered the "cream of the crop" and or from the "right families". It was just felt that we needed to get out and be the people we wanted to be and not what the town elders expected us to be.

Interestingly, this has been discussed various times at high school reunions and other gathers.

Regarding sorority life at Home Town U., there were a few ugly years as well. My understanding is that this started in the mid to late 60's. There was only one city high school and one county high school and the local girls usually ended up in one of two sororities - ABC & XYZ. In high school, you could kind of tell which girl would end up being an ABC and which girl would be an XYZ. And this wasn't based on anything specific - like all the cheerleaders joined ABC or the majorettes went to XYZ - but based on friendships. For example, Suzie & Marsha, juniors, are friends with a senior Jane. Jane joins ABC and then when Suzie and Marsha rushes the next year, they join ABC as well.

One year, both sororities had a few legacies going through rush. (daughters and sisters) Because of something(s) that happened in high school both groups ended up cutting a lot of legacies.

A few cut ABC legacies went to XYZ and cut XYZ legacies went to ABC. An additional fall out from this was that friends were pitted against friends. For example, does Suzie join ABC because of Jane or join XYZ with Marsha who was cut from ABC? And there was more. To add to all the drama, this did not go down well with their moms and sisters. For a few years, the rivalry spilled down into the high schools and out into the community in general. Lots of hurt feelings all around.

An upside is that a lot of girls wanted no part of this and joined other sororities. This broke the hold that ABC & XYZ had on the local girls and ended the rivalry to a certain degree.

As for the fraternities, there really didn't seem to be such issues. Most guys who were a legacy ended up joining that particular chapter.

Another interesting thing was that for a while, if a local girl went to college out of town, and joined a chapter that wasn't one of the "Home Town U." chapters, they were often looked down on. Even if that particular chapter was a top one on another campus. I know that when I went to Big State U., two classmates from my high school went there as well and joined sororities. One joined a chapter that wasn't at the Home Town U. and the other, joined a sorority that was very "strong" on Big State U. campus, but wasn't "strong" at the Home Town U. Unfortunately, she got a lot of grief when she went home. But during that time, more local kids went out of town for school so there was more knowledge about other sororities. And for the most part, the "looking down" on girls ended.

Again, this didn't seem to apply to the guys.

College was a new start for me. I had a hard time in high school...I was very unpopular and most people made fun of me. Which is okay, because I'm bipolar, and while I'm totally fine now (been on meds for about 3 years), I WASN'T then...I was out of control. I knew something was wrong with me but I didn't even know what bipolar was back then, and was too scared to talk to anyone about my problems. So, I would be crying my eyes out one second and being super hyper the next. I would also blow up at anyone that looked at me funny, and honestly, I was a bitch. People couldn't handle me, and most didn't like me. And to be honest, I wouldn't have liked me either! So I don't blame anyone.

I started college, went through counseling, got on meds, and became a completely new person...well, maybe just became myself I suppose. :) I'm very happy, and I have a lot of friends. So yes, college was certainly a new start. :cool:

College for me was a new start. I wanted to meet new people and well grow up. Many of my classmates and friends went to the same universities together. When I see them they are all the same. They haven't grown up much and still hang out w/the same crowd.

I went to my University because I knew I would not know anyone there and knowing that made me get outta my bubble. I still live at home, I commutte but ya know what, I've changed tremendously. I met tons of new people and realized who my true friends are. I have changed personality wise (HS I was more laid back, College I am VERY loud and outgoing) and look wise (longer hair, lost weight, glasses, and healthier). Even my friends who I met my first year of college, my bf notices more, but he tells me that I have grown up a lot since he's known me and when he says that, I feel good because that was exactly my goal.

College was beyond a new start for me. I went to HS in Ohio and college in Florida. When I first went away to school (summer of 97 - I did an early start program) I was about to become engaged. I wanted to go home SO badly but my mom made me stay and I'm so happy that she did. I left my boyfriend and made new friends. I joined Zeta and that was really the start for me. I was well known in HS, but didn't have a huge group of friends. I hung out with some "popular" kids and some "jocks" - I played sports in HS as well. But I didn't have a niche. I found my niche in college and it really helped me come out of my shell. I gained a lot more confidence in myself through college, but mostly through ZTA. I'd have to say that 100% college was a new start for me.

To be honest, I think my "transformation" started senior year in high school when I better defined the direction I wanted to take professionally.

I went to college only about 75 miles away from home, but since about 99.9999999999% of the kids from my high school who went to college went to Ohio State, I was the only person I'm aware of in my graduating class who went to Ohio University.

There, the "transformation" continued -- albeit at a much faster rate.

Bottom line is that I had a great time starting about the summer between junior and senior years in high school.

I should ammend that when you grew up in Columbus in my era, you could sort of "skip" high school socially if you wanted to by attending parties, street dances, etc. at Ohio State. Fake ID's were pretty common then, too. If you could blend HS and college social stuff, you could have a great time.

DeltAlum - I'm from Ohio as well, the Cleveland area. Out of my senior class of about 300-350 people, only a dozen of us went out of state. 2 to Florida (myself and a good friend that I found out went to Embry Riddle Aeronautical University in Daytona Beach, only 15 minutes away from my school). Everyone else went to either Kent State (since it's 15 minutes from Hudson), Ohio State, Ohio University, Bowling Green, or University of Akron. I just couldn't see the reason to go to school in Ohio, in the snow, where it's cold - when I could go to sunny Florida. Anways, it's just nice to know someone else from my neck of the woods. :)

I wouldn't say I "shed" any image I had in high school when I went to college. UCR is only 12 miles away from where I lived (and still live) so it was pointless and a waste of money to live in the dorms or closer to campus (which I learned the hard way).

Contrary to what usually happens when going to school locally, I didn't keep a lot of my high school friends. I didn't really want to- most of them were backstabbing gossip-hounds and most of them didn't and still haven't done anything with their lives. I didn't want those people in my life anymore, thus the reason I found new people in college.

The one thing I'm glad I ditched in the transition from HS to college was my ex-boyfriend. We dated senior year of HS and both accepted admission to UCR. But he was so jealous and annoying that I felt I need to "shed" him... and I did. :D I don't think for one second that my "image" has changed, but the few friends from HS I'm still close to say I have changed a lot. I think they have, too, but I think the reason why is just because we grew up and that's that.

Always nice to hear from someone from the Great State of Cleveland. There were a lot of Northern Ohio types at Ohio University when I was there.

Some of us like snow.

I wanted to quickly point out that as the parent of a college student and a college graduate, I think that the opportunity to get away from home and some of your parent's and high school friends influence can be very valuable. A lot of my high school friends lived at home through all or most of their college careers at Ohio State, and I think that stymied their personal growth to some extent. Many of them ended up getting apartments in the campus area (literally 10 miles from home) in their later years of school.

So, whenever possible, I heartily endorse "getting away" from home -- even if it's only a hour or two. I think you learn a lot more about life that way.

For what it's worth.