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Guys and the Phone...
Okay, maybe this is just me being a talkative girl but do guys hate talking on the phone? Why do you call if you don't want to talk to the girl? Would you rather just make the plans and talk then? Just wondering...
(If there is another thread on this I'm sorry-I searched!) |
Mr. valkyrie claims to hate phones more than anything, but when we first started dating, we would spend hours on the phone.
I think that anyone likes anything if they're really into you, lol. |
I usually hate talking on the phone, but I will initiate a phone conversation to get things done.
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Well speaking in generalizations . . so please ladies don't jump and say you are not one of the ten percent this doesn't apply to . . cough . . . ahem . . . Valkyrie . . . A chatty guy will likely be chatty on the phone . . but still less chatty than a chatty girl. If I ask a girl a question like: what did you do today, I will often get a stream of consciousness monologue that starts when she wakes and ends with my question. If you ask a guy the same question, even a chatty guy will give a much abridged answer. This poses some problems in communication. In Deborah Tannen's book You Just Don't Undestand she talks about the differences between male and female communication. Females do raport talking, they talk to bond, share events and experiences. They will often interrupt each other and speak at length. Males do report talking. We talk to relate tangible events. We tend to speak in turns. So in some ways when you talk to us, we are waiting to get a word in edgewise. We are less likely to volunteer information. So often not only do you have to ask us questions, but also the right questions. Also, well . . we . . generally don't care a lot about what you are relating to us. Especially if we consider it trivia. We care about you, but not all the infintessable items of your day. We just don't bond by hanging on every detail . . . unless your name is ESPN Sports Center. We are not your best girlfriend. So we call you to check in. To touch base. To hear new and important updates. And to make plans. We start glazing over a little if you start going on to long, although we will listen because we care about you. Think Football . . we only need the highlights. Here is a tip: If you really want us to focus all our intention on your trivialties, talk to us naked. I promise we will be riveted. And it will avoid fights. |
No. The highest level of communication I like to have with chicks is grinding them from behind (that way they don't feel like they have to talk) on a crowded dancefloor where it's really loud music that will drown out anything dumb they say.
-Rudey |
Thanks Rudey that was very helpful...;)
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James,
I agree with the fundamental differences in communication procedure for guys and girls, but I'm still wondering-why does the guy keep calling to talk? Is it seriously just to check in? The guy I'm referring to an I aren't even dating at this point so not much has changed since I talked to him the other day! You know, since you guys speak for all men...:)! |
hahaha - for me and my boyfriend it is the EXACT OPPOSITE. he loves calling/talking on the phone - i am a HORRIBLE phone person. I hate talking on the phone - i use it to make plans and thats about it. I would much rather talk to people in person. I am a super talkative person when i am in the same physical space as other people. I just pick up so much with body language, facial expressions, hands, and all of that good stuff that i can't get from the phone!
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I love talking on the phone...depending on who I'm talking to. If it's my man on the other end, eh...It's alright, but I'd rather see him in person. Most of the guys I've been with have hated the phone . . . Except one, we'd go on for hours...
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I actually have a cute story about the phone & a guy....
My HS sweetheart (recently my ex) started our relationship talking on the phone. Once a week my parents went out and he'd call or I'd call him that evening and we'd talk for at least an hour about EVERYTHINg & ANYTHING. We saw each other in school but something about the phone brought out the best conversations between us. I think bc we weren't in the same grade the phone gave us a way to talk without people wondering what a senior guy was doing with a freshman gril. 2 months of that and he finally asked me to 'go out' with him... |
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-Rudey --Because you just can't play radio over the phone! |
Ugh, I hate talking on the phone! I have to do it all day at work, so by the time I get home, my phone calls consist of "what do you need from the store" and "I'll be there in 10 minutes".
Mr. Ginger, on the other hand, will talk sports and bands and movies and so on to his buddies for an hour at a time. Not me. Just can't do it. If I want to chat, I'll come see you or send an email! |
I hate talking on the phone. Even when i was a teen i hated it. I think more so now then anything. i am on it all day and i have kids so i need to have it and use especially my cell.
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Not much of a phone person here either. I cant even talk to most of my girl friends on the phone.
Most of the guys I have dated arent into talking on the phone either. So if I first start dating someone I hate calling them on the phone. I just really have to be around the person when talking to them. Most times when I talk to a guy on the phone its to make plans or just short convos. Why I think guys will call even if they dont like talking on the phone is bc they know this is how a lot of girls judge whether the guy likes us or not. |
Re: Guys and the Phone...
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I think the phone should be used for coordination, planning, getting stuff done.
I don't want to hear about anyone's day on the phone. In person, fine.. if you call me on the phone, you'd better be more interesting than whatever I was doing before you called me. |
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The phone holds a unique niche in communication. It doesn't replace human contact, but it useful when you don't have enough time to go see someone and you need to talk to them, or if they live far away. For instance, lets say I'm trying to get some work done. I can call a friend and talk for 20 minutes, but I can't actually go anywhere without compromising my work efforts. Even if someone lived close, and I could spend an hour on the phone or an hour to drive 15 minutes each way and talk to them face to face, I'd sometimes pick the phone if I thought I would slack and not get my work done. My boyfriend hates this, but it's eacier to hang up than to leave, so I'll make him talk to me on the phone.
ETA: Cell phones on weekends can be used to talk to whomever you want while you are doing boring chores and other tasks, like waiting in line, shopping for groceries and driving to see family. If someone calls me because they are stuck in one place and bored out of their mind, I am obligated to talk to them if I have time. |
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I don't understand people who call me on my cell phone and then say, "Hey...I just called to see what's up." Um, the sky? Hopefully the stock market? After you say, "Not much," the conversation is over, so why waste minutes on it? |
My boyfriend isn't a big fan of talking on the phone either. But, we live about 3 hours away from eachother, so during the week that is the only way we can communicate. We talk every night for about 15 or 20 minutes, just to check in and see how eachother's day went. I've never understood couples who talk on the phone for hours and hours. I think I would run out of things to say!
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Re: Guys and the Phone...
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To answer you, YES...WE DO! Why? Because the more we talk the dumber we sound. Its simple. ;) |
I love talking on the phone. All my boys have loved it too thankfully.
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Mr. Mel and I both hate talking on the phone. We use it to make plans and that is it.
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From who's view? Yours or theirs? ;) They just say they like talking on the phone because they want to hit it. :D |
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Thats because you got that booty that'll make a guy go *SMACK* :) But yea, they dont want to sit on the phone and hear you yap about nothing really. |
I hate talking on the phone. I know when I'm on the phone I'm usually doing 10 other things and not really paying attention to the other person. If someone wants to talk about something important, I have to meet in person.
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I'm with DG - guys always call me and practically beg me to call when we are dating. I am not really a phone girl... I'd rather be face-to-face... I'm more into the tactile senses - or something like that.
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Good post...I myself HATE talking on the phone with girls, not because i dont like the girl, thats not the case at all. This may seem rude, but im just being honest. These are my reasons for not liking to talk to girls on the phone:
1. They talk too much. 2. It makes my phone bill high as hell ($300 on month, 512 text messages!!) 3. I'd rather just see them in person. Sorry if thats offensive, but im being honest... |
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I cant believe you were arguing with me about this. |
we only get your numbers so we can call you. The purpose of the phone is not to sit and talk forever on it. It's purpose is to arrange a meeting where we can talk in person. We are much better in person. I hate the phone.
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Mr. AChiOAlumna hates talking on the phone as well...It's taken me years to convince him to carry a cell phone on him for emergency purposes. Basically, no one else even knows his cell number except his parents, my parents and me. Finally, after being in a bad car accident a year ago, and the fact I keep my cell phone on all the time (both for professional and personal reasons), that he agreed to start carrying his on him...
But regardless of who he is calling...me...his parents...whomever, his end of the conversation is always "to the point" so he can get off faster... |
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Funny isnt it |
maybe i'm the only one who notices this, but i know so many more girls with cell phones than i do guys with cell phones.......
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I really, really hate talking on the phone! In fact the only thing that is keeping me from having a date tomorrow night, is I won't pick up the phone and call.
Past boyfriends have always had to call me and seemed to enjoy doing so. In fact the most recent ex and I dated 2 mnths talked at least once a day and I can only remember one time that I called him (and its just b/c I needed stuff moved from my apartment). |
This is an interesting conundrum.
I met this guy Halloween weekend and he told me to call him, but I never got his number so I left my number on his windshield. He never called so I got worried that he didn't see it and tracked down his number and called him. We talked for a while, yadda yadda, and he said to call the next time I was in town and we would go out. Well, I decided to skip work all together Tuesday and called him again and asked him out to lunch. He couldn't go but that night he called me but I couldn't answer but he left a voicemail with his home number. I called him back later that night but he was sleeping so I told him to call me the next day. A week later he still hadn't called, so I called him again. We talked and again he said call me the next time you're in town. So finally we go out and at the end of the date he said, call me the next time you're in town and we'll go out again. So I did, but he didn't answer and he never called me back. So the next weekend I call him again and he answers this time but couldn't go out so he told me to call the next time I'm home. I can kinda understand why he wants me to call him (when I'm home) but why do I always have to be the one to call? Is he just not that into me? Thoughts? |
Bingo. You are correct. I'll bend the guy code that much and admit that.
But in faithfulnss to the Guy Code I recomend you sleep him with him soon as possible. It stimulates greater interest. Quote:
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Ladies, please!!!
Every guy on this topic said they don't like to talk to girls... That ought to tell you they don't like girls to call. They do like to talk to girls, but they don't want a chatty little sister...
Another thing, men hear and process things differently from women. Men have the TV on, with the radio, with bathroom fan--all this noise drives women nuckin' futs!!! Whereas, women center on one item at a time. This may be instinctual (Cashmoney)--or at least evolutionarily conserved... Men maintain that hunter-gatherer mentality... Whereas, women have to hear when the "baby's" crying for survivability... That has been shown in behavioral research studies... Go figure... |
<---Not a phone person.
Which kinda makes me wonder why I spend $60+ a month on cell phone bills... However, I have seen guys who like talking on the phone..and they keep talking n talking....gets pretty annoying. |
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