Who pays for friends?
 

I am so freaking angry right now! I was speaking with some co-workers about sororities & some random man from my department tried to tell me that joining a Greek organization is just paying for your friends! He walked off before any of us could retort! What do you say to people who insist that you are just paying for friends?

If I pay for my friends, I am sure not paying enough.

I don't think you can say anything to people like that. They are stubborn and won't listen to anyone about anything. Those people always think they are right.
You know when I hear people say this I have to say it's not different then paying activities fees with your tuition so you can join on campus clubs. Even some organizations on campus (other than GLO's) have fees. So why are GLO's different? I don't know.
Honestly I try to ignore people like this because they will never have anything postive to say, no matter what you tell them.
For lack of a better word...they're just stupid.

If I pay for my friends, I just got the best deal ever!
:)

Point out that nearly all organizations/clubs pay SOME sort of dues. Point out the costs of insurance, property, etc etc and other costs with sororities/fraternities.

Anyone who has ever bought a drink at a bar to hang out with people, has paid for friends.

Everyone pays for friends, but some people are too stupid to see that their criticism applies to their life as well.

I would guess that this co-worker leads a miserable life, and needs to channel his bitterness somewhere.

Do MORON, ASS sound like reasonable Terms!:mad:

My friends for over 39 years mean more to me than can ever be expressed!

1 to 635! Yes, they are not only my Friends but Brothers in diferent degrees of being close!

Oh, that does not cound on the many Brothers of LXA and All of The other Greek Organizations go! :cool:

Why dont you Give an Award for Ass Wipe of the Year! A Roll Of Toilet Paper German style, with splinters or English Like wax Paper, DA!:)

Here's the way I explain it to people:
Our chapers would do away with fees if we could, but unfortunately, we want to put on programs, have formals, and do things together as a group. So if everyone pitches in $20 for a barbecue, and $20 for composites, and another $5 for bowling.... Suddenly you realize its easier and cheaper to have everyone "chip in" on a regular baisis. Ta-da! Dues are born. You don't buy friends, you buy things to do with your friends, just like you do when you go out.

My attitude about "paying for friends" is similar to XOmichelle... I mean basically we pay to "do stuff" just like any other group of people does... you go bowling... you pitch in ... we have a lot of people..it requries insurance... hence we pitch in... we want a place to hang out.. ( a house) we all pitch in. EVERYONE does this in their daily life.... this co-worker just didn't get a bid back in college... ;)

Re: Who pays for friends?
 

To be quite honest, there isn't a whole lot you can say to change anyone's mind on the matter. If the guy is a bitter butt-head let him remain one. He's so set in his opinion that all he could think of to say was that you pay for your friends? Please, we've all heard it. Let the people who don't understand come up with something original.

Yes, that's right I paid for some great activities that we had! I'd pay double! What did he do with his college experience? Fritter it away critiquing greeks? How sad is that?:rolleyes:

Be Real.

We do pay for friends. In fact, we pay for a ready made social set-up. And a pretty damn cool one.

I don't think there is anything wrong with it.

But it would be lying to obfustacate the issue with sophistry.

word.

Texas Aggie Sigma Nus - The Best Dollar-to-Friend Ratio in Aggieland

Kitso
KS 361

I was discussing Greek Life with a fellow GDI and she said the same thing, "The Greeks pay for friends."

I simply stated, "Well, you pay to be a member of the Chemistry Club, you pay to join Civil Rights Groups, attend Political Functions, you pay for everything; Does that makes the Chemistry Club a haven for people who want to buy friends who like Science, or the Civil Rights group a place for friends who like to Protest?"

No, it doesn't. One pays dues not to "buy friends" but in order to be a part of anything in this society, to contribute, you must pay. You don't join these organizations for friendship, but to serve some other purpose, whatever that may be. Of course you make friends during the process, but that is not WHY one pays dues. You join the Math, Chemistry, whatever club not to hang out together, but for assistance, collaboration, people with common goals and interest performing under one banner.

You go to a specific college because this college is the one you feel suits you, you are comfortable there, the same as with a GLO. This organization professes things you believe in, people you have seen become members are successful in your eyes, you respect them, you pay for THAT!

You don't pay for friends, but eh, what's wrong with getting a few while you're at it?;)

Re: Who pays for friends?
 

Tell him that ANYTHING which allows to network with a high volume of people, will potentially yield benefits. The vast majority of things that you make "happen" in your life are due to networking and WHO YOU KNOW. People want to do business with people that they know and like.

And FWIW, I'm sure that Knights of Columbus, Shriners, Rotarians (Rotary Club) Lion Club...I'm sure that they all have dues and no one seems to kvetch about that. Yeesh......

I usually say something like this. Those people are so clueless.

I dont think it is true that greeks pay for friends, i know that it is for mixers, formals, philanthropies, insurance, housing, yadayadayada. but you have to admit that the reason you join the "american society of civil engineers" is to network with engineers. you join "habitat for humanity" bc you want to build homes for the homeless. the reason you join an honor society is bc your grades are good or whatever the requirements are.
you join a social sorority/fraternity to make friends. I doubt anyone joined their glo bc of the creed or the philanthropy or because they play intramurals. all that stuff is something you can do whether you are in the glo or not. we joined to meet people that we wanted to be friends with, people who would be our brothers and sisters forever. it's not a bad thing, but you can't say that the statement is completely false.

I can kind of understand the guy's point of view. There are some greeks where they be nice to you when you are pledging so that way they have your dues and your number (for total). also you will automatically accepted if you go to other chatpers and travel to wherever there is a n ABC sorority. this is my two cents. Please no bashing.

No reason to bash-its your opinion!

Anyway-today I'm just trying to keep my distance from "the annoyance". I think everyone is pretty much annoyed w/ him because of his "attack & run" attitude. Its like he was scared that what we would say to him would actually make sense so therefore he just didn't want to hear it. Well, its his problem-not mine. I'll never regret joining Sigma Kappa.

Unfortunately the stigma
 

A lot of people say that about greek life. But come on, sounds like a lot of ignorant hating to me. Activities cost money, you're not paying money in a frat for someone to be your friend. You're paying to facilitate a number of activities. And the friends i've made are worth much more than frat dues. So maybe i should have paid more ;)

When one is talking one on one with a friend, there may be some point in responding by explaining why the "paying for friends" line is an unfair characterization.

But, in a group situation like you describe, I think the best and most effective response is to completely ignore him. Completely. If he keeps it up, don't argue or try to set him straight -- reply with a dismissive one-liner (like "then I didn't pay enough" or whatever works for you), then continue on with the conversation as though he hadn't said anything. He really doesn't warrant more.

You can do the "if I paid for my friends, I sure didn't pay enough approach" or you can retort by saying "and you were rejected a bid/or dropped from which fraternity for that attitude?"

If he says he wasn't greek - then politely (if you can) tell him not to form opinions over something he obviously knows nothing about....for it's better to be thought of as an idiot by keeping your mouth shut than by opening your mouth and removing any doubt.

i don't understand why he can't form an opinion about greek life if he wasn't a part of it. we have opinions about multitudes of things which we have never participated in. and i think that is pretty arrogant to think that he thinks greeks pay for their friends bc he wasn't given a bid. granted, the guy we are talking about does seem like a weenie for the hit and run comments, but it is a valid opinion. we joined purely (most of us, anyways) because we wanted to socialize with people. there isn't anything wrong with that

Hmmph. Sounds to me like the best response for him might be, "You might want to buy some, cause you sure aren't making any around here."

I like that one-I might just use that next time! LOL!

This one comes up a lot during recruitment--I try to make this comparison because the whole 'you pay to join other student organizations' never seems to work.

Some things an average high school senior vs. greek pays for:

Senior dues $50-$100 vs. National Dues
Yearbook $60
Senior Picture $50 vs. Composite

Prom tickets $75-$150 vs. Formal
Tux $100
Limo/Dinner $150
Flowers…$35

Homecoming $75-$125 vs. Semi-Formal

Sports $50-$200 vs. Greek league intramurals

And these are just some of the comparisons you can make.

My thing is about the whole 'paying for friends' comment.

If I'm paying for these friends, how come I don't get along with everyone? Or how come I don't like everyone? Or how come everyone doesn't like me?

HELLO!!!!!

You CAN'T like everyone. That is a fact of life. Some personalities just do not mesh.

I can't say that I have adored all my sisters but I have RESPECTED them all because they are my sisters.

This guy really needs a reality check.

I asked my sister's boyfriend if he was in a fraternity in college. He said, "No, I don't pay for my friends." Both of my biological sisters looked at me like :eek: ! I thought that it was funny and laughed. He's a nice enough guy, but he doesn't really know much about greeklife. I really don't get offended by remarks like that. I think that they are usually a joke or a reflection of ignorance.

When I was a student, I paid my dues which went to National, the campus, and to chapter operating costs including social, sisterhood, and service events as well as postage. I remember I had over 45 sisters, and dues meant that I paid less than $3 per sister per semester. That's a bargain! And it included my formal ticket. :) A date was extra and optional.

Don't worry about it when people say things about paying for your friends. You know that it isn't true. You don't need to explain yourself to anyone. It's not like you give each sister or brother money to be your friend. I'm pretty sure they know that.

I am not sure how I could pay for my Friends! I stated the Local that Became a LXA Chapter!

Pay for my Friends, then why have I been doing for almost 40 years!????:confused: :)

Why do I love meeting with Brothers few that they are of my age, and Brothers Who are so much Younger and in between for this long!:confused:

I and many others of Not only My Fraternity and Those of Soroities have been doing for so many Years?:confused:

If that is paying a cost for Friends, hell, count me in to that Group!:cool:

Okay, Example, just look on Greek Chat Threads to find the answers!:)

Just how do you pay for your Friends, by dues that make your Organization continue to function:confused:

God, Mental Peas are on board our Ship! SOS!:(

I admit, I pay for friends ... and they pay me back. Sharing is the idea behind it, and that's what we call BROTHERHOOD.
:D Go Greek!

Thats two really good post in this thread phimuandfries :)

Ultimately when people are ignorant about something because they know nothing of it they tend to express only what they assume and that usually ends up being negative or way off.

Fraternally yours, Boodleboy322

People only make these comments when they think someone else is weak and walks with their head down. These comments only matter when they're real...usually it's kids who had few friends and joined a glo for friends and parties that it gets to. If you're not one of those let it be known...use the ever classic "Take two steps back and step out of my arse" and let them do what they want and you do what you want.

-Rudey

i also don't think that there is much that can be said to people who think Greek life is about paying for friends. i think this attitude comes mostly from people who never experienced the system. i even admit that i had it when i started college, but meeting the women in my sorority and getting involved in Greek life on campus overall changed my views. i think only participation in an organization can truly make someone see this differently.

Elks
Moose
Rotary
Boy Scouts
Girl Scouts
Country Clubs

What's the difference?

My sentiments exactly. I did not join AKA for the social benefits. I believed in the purpose and ideals of the sorority. Now, that I am a soror, I have met many wonderful women that I do consider friends. But, that's just the icing on the cake!

I told someone once "If you think we pay for our friends, why don't you come take a look at our checkbook balance sometime." They asked "why's that," and I replied "Cause if we pay for our friends then we would have a heck of a lot more money in our check book than this little bit we do have." They didn't respond.

"we pay for our friends, not for our drinks."
^this was a bar crawl tshirt saying one time....

One of the reasons I did join was looking for a group of girls that I could develop great friendships with. And I have. I honestly have better friendships with my sisters than I do with my friends that are non-greek.
If you want to think that I have paid for my friends...then go right ahead.
Cause in the end, I know who has my back.