Over weight?
 

girls

girls

Girls, definitely.

guys of course

Why do you say that?

I would say girls. But you do see alot of guys with overweight girls and not vice versa so maybe its near equal?

Girls
 

In the early 90s, when I was a new alumnus still in Tallahassee, one of the actives put on like 30 pounds over the summer. Everyone started saying, "Chad, you're fat." We would just smile and say, "you're fat," like it was a greeting. And soon, it was. All of that semester, the whole chapter would say "you're fat" to each other, like we were saying "aloha" or "shalom."

Guys will celebrate their beer bellys, and laugh about being fat. Telling a girl that she's fat will bring her to tears.

http://www.rob-clarkson.com/duff-brewery/homer/89.jpg

Re: Girls
 

I can't believe this is even a question, no offense. A guy can be a good 30 lbs overweight and still thinks of himself as attractive, and girls still find him that way. A girl gets even 10 lbs overweight and she has a "big ass," or a "roll" or whatever.

My husband and I think it's time to go on a joint diet.....lately, whenever my daughter (she's 5) sees him naked it's "Big belly, big belly!!!!" and when she sees me naked it's "Big butt, big butt!" Skinny little bitch....... NO JUST KIDDING!!!!!!! I love her, and she is probably right, but still.....that hurts!!!! Damn!!!!!

guys of course
 

Because I hold it to be true. Though media body images usually lean toward toned for both sexes, there are rarely deviations in magazines using male models from six pack/washboard stomach, toned arms etc; often however there will be examples of many degrees of waif v. curvaceous depictions of women. Despite Russ' comment about banter between heterosexual guys toward each other and between one another; guys have it worse when it comes to being overweight.
A girl can carry some extra weight around just fine and there is little question if she went out and about at night and she could pull/hookup etc. As for longer term relationships, the same equally applies - she will be found attractive as a woman irrespective of her waist to hips ratio. Thus, on the basis physical attraction being obviously a core element of people being attracted to one another, and she will continue to be found attractive it follows there is not a marked effect on her ability to attract a mate.
The same is not true of guys. There is a much greater degree of stigma in non-platonic interaction where a guy is overweight. Without that competitive advantage so to speak he will not have the admiring glances thrown at him nor be the subject of whispered conversations he is not privy to. Without the fairly lean toned physique (excepting that some women like skinny non-muscular men) there would definitely not be the same lack of variation in his likelihood of attracting a mate as in the case of girls.
In long term marriages and the like where there is a bond that allows one to overlook such issues or for people to look at their partner and see them as more attractive than they are it is not the same issue, at all. Additionally, were that relationship to end and the male re-enter the arena so to speak he would experience the above.

Definitely girls have it harder!

I mean even with graying hair. I don't know i dont have any but when i do and i forsee it coming i am in my hair dressers salon faster then anything. Even guys when they gray their considered distinguished.


We have it hard on both hair and wt.

Girls definitly have it worse.

I have to disagree with decadence. At least on the magazine issue. Only in the last few years have you seen women who are not stick thin in magazines. With all the talk about body image, self-esteem and eating disorders, magazines (especially women's fashion magazines) are trying to appeal to the "larger" female portion of society. Every now and then Cosmo, Vogue et al. will throw in a few articles, about plus sized models, actress and fashion. These magazines don't do this because they are concerned with the distorted body images that women have to die or the ever increasing eating disorders, etc, etc. They do this to sell magazines. They know that a larger woman will pick up this magazine if the see something that appeals to them. They sell more magazines this way. But the next issue will be right back to the rail thin models. deviating from the standard image in magazines is a temporary way to increase sales.

Granted, more and more men are developing eating disorders but it hasn't affected the male population like it has the female population.

What Lady Pi Phi said about eating disorders is true. While a good friend who is a dietician tells me that she is seeing more and more men develop eating disorders their problems rarely if ever become not eating.

A good family friend of ours is in the UCLA eating disorders program. She is 15, 5'7" and had gotten down to 77 pounds before being admitted full time again. During the 6 months she was living there and I was going to see her about once or twice a week I never saw a male patient who was there for eating disorders. It may have been the sadest place I have ever been. Watching these young girls destroy their bodies was heart wrenching.

In this month's Playboy Advisor, they give a rather definitive answer to this question.....a woman wrote in who said she was hoping her subscription would encourage her to lose weight, but apparently it was not working. She wanted to know if there were any men out there who would be happy with a woman who had a pretty face but a size 16 body. Playboy's answer? "Most men are not attracted to overweight women, so they'll never know if they could be happy with a woman who has a size-16 body." Then, in an attempt to drive home the point that women are just as superficial as men, they ask "Are you attracted to strangers with pot-bellies and double chins, or men who are trim and fit?" I see plenty of beautiful women with guys who have pot-bellies and double chins but I can't remember ever seeing a really hot guy with a chiseled body walking around with a chubby girl.

Now let me add that I do not always agree with the Playboy Advisor......I think that there is a particular image that they try to evoke and their answers always fit that image, even if it makes them look stupid. They spend too much time trying to be glib and not enough trying to be reasonable.

I would say girls. There are tons of anthropoligical reasons. Also, I too have seem lots of really cute girls running around with boys who aren't perfect.

There's a bunch of TV shows that illustrate this point; where unattractive men have really attractive wives. Everybody loves Raymond? Ray is not my idea of an attractive man, even if he is skinny, but his wife on the show is adorable! Then there is the Queens show on the same channel. Big guy, tiny cute wife. Also, while there is a lot of pressure for men to be athletic in their 20's, there is pressure for women to be athletic, slim and cute in their 50's as well. If you're a 50 year old man with an extra 20 lbs, no one cares! If you are a 50 year old woman, you are still being judged by your figure.

I agree. Men are more visualy oriented than women, so they have a greater propensity to place a premium on looks. Also, those unattractive men with women are more likely to be successful. Women are more interested in a man's place in society than men are.

Any guy I know would ask out a really beautiful women, if he met her while she was operating the fry-o-later at McDonalds. I doubt that many women would be interested in an Orlando Bloom lookalike, if he was decked out in a McDonald's uniform doing the same.

Exactly. I've seen plenty of attractive women with guys who are not so attractive. Look at Hollywood. Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson, Heidi Klum and Ugly Guy, Kim Cattrel and Ex-Husband Ugly Guy.
Very rarely do I see an attractive man with a woman is fugly. They've done tons of studies on it and it's just the way our brains work....men are more turned on by physical attributes while women need an emotional connection to be turned on. I've dated many guys who would not be considered conventionally attractive but their personality, sense of humor, and intelligence make up for it. I've met many guys who I was not physically attracted to at first but I felt a strong connection with them after getting to know them and really liking their personality.
At the same time, many women won't be attracted to a guy who is physically appealing but has a lot lacking in the personality department. I've found that many, not all, guys will keep on dating a woman who he doesn't "click" with just because she's attractive or has a good body. I dated a very good looking guy once who modeled but he had the personality of a door stop. I brought him to a sorority date function and I wanted to gauge my eyeballs out with a dull knife everytime he opened his mouth to talk. After the date function ended, I dropped him off at his apartment and sped away...fast. How many guys would drop a very attractive woman just because he didn't like her personality? Not many...well, at least not until they've slept with her first. ;)
My friend put on some weight during her junior year in college. She still had a beautiful face and the same great personality but my guy friends were like, "Ewww...she's fat!" (She was only 15 pounds overweight....I really don't think that's fat!) When she lost the weight last summer, my boyfriend's roommate was like, "Ya know, I think I'm going to ask her out. She looks good now!" :confused: She's the same girl as before but just 15 pounds lighter.

I still disagree but it doesn't really matter.

On eating disorder rates not affecting males like females it's also a point that men are less likely to seek help when there's a problem - perhaps because of a belief services (by extension of gearing towards customers who approach them!) are all for women and as men are less likely to seek help generally; whether it's for eating disorders or depression (a reason why the highest suicide rate group is young males), or whatever else.
We don't hear about it as men are less outspoken about it but that doesn't mean the issue is so small as it appears (and yes I do believe it is still a much greater problem for women just that for males you can't glance at a clinic or statistics and see the whole picture.

As for all the comments about women going out with overweight men all over the place I don't think that's true at all. Slimming down and building muscle are not equally hard work also. The suggestion that women aren't primarily attracted to superficial things like physique seems to be a fallacy - no matter what is 'said because they don't want to seem shallow'.

Plus all the comments here seem to imply women might go for such guys but only if there are major overrriding other factors - wealth, fame etc and probably would prefer that person to be slimmer too anyway. On a side note physical attraction is linked to perception of an individuals success. Noble emotional connections are all well and good but I think for all that's said it's found women tend to be substantially more interested in trying and build such emotional connections with slim toned guys than those guys who aren't.

With my last post i was not trying to make light of the matter because it is not an issue to be taken lightly. But in todays day womens body issues is so mainstreamed in the news that its hard to ignore.

We are faced with these stick thin models ,and yes as of late we are seeing more models who have a real womans body , but that aside men are very visual and they make woman compete against one another in todays society about appearances.

Being thin and in healthy shape is great, but being to thin for appearances and vieing for some guys attention or not even that for what other reason is sad!

Being plus size is not the greatest but at least that can be controlled. A lot of men are attracted to that and some are not , but it isn't a taboo subject any longer. Its like that movie real Woman have curves ......

Believe me i have my own issues. I was once a cheerleader in high school and had a perfect body , but now thats different. It is sad these poor girls dealing with anorexia and bulemia because they want some guys approval or because it really comes down to their own demons their fighting to be prettier than someone else or just to be accepted... I don't know. its very heart wrenching to see these girls in that position but todays society and the media has made it soo hard for women to be just themselves but rather have young women knock themselves out to attain a perfect body image.

So true. My mother always uses this same example. She says that illustrates every guy's fantasy.

Hell yeah -- WTF is up with that? According to Jim anyone?!

Anyway, people are mentioning "curvy" models, but even the "curvy" models are pretty darn skinny -- maybe a size six instead of a zero.

There are several studies out there that examine how men are more critical of their body image. I think it's only for a certain age group though. Anyway I don't have the time to spend 2 hours in the gym anymore, but I still do what I can and it was guys that started the low carb craze through our workout mags and guys who eat protein shakes and sign up for magazines that might have one cool exercise for your lats that makes you look ridiculous at the gym.

But at the end of the day when you have money or power or stature, your weight and looks matter less. I'd say that it's generally men that have the money and power so that's why you see lots of normal guys with attractive women.

-Rudey

Anyone remember the Special K commercial where the guys are sitting around discussing their bodies? Last guy said something like-"Does my butt look big?" GREAT commercial on many levels.

Age has a lot to do with it (IMO). The older people get, the less
weight is an issue. IF it isn't in the same arena as Roseanne. (Some old goats will still have their trophy wives of course.)
There are cultural differences as well if you think about it.

All in all, I have learned that when it come to picking a husband or wife,
$$money$$ can make anyone "beautiful"! :rolleyes:

hmm.... girls definately have it worse b/c i like it when guys are bigger- not huge and gross fat- but a beer belly isn't a big deal to me...

i'm 5' 7" and i was a stable 150 pounds all through high school- when i would say i was uncomfortable- all i got was a "you aren't- your just tall- it all works out" yeah... but i'm still uncomfortable! i dated in high school- but i mostly just hung out with friends.. then i got to college- within my first semester i dropped 20 pounds b/c of all the activity- and wow... the responses i got were astounding- all i got was- you are so thin and so beautiful- blah blha blha- it was the topic of conversation all over- guys were paying attention to me- i was dating one of the most wanted boys on campus... it was absolute heaven- i had a great set of friends- i was finally happy and successful and i actually had found my niche in life.... then aout a year and half later i went on birth control (the patch) b/c of cramps (the pill made me too sick) and ilived with 7 guys and 1 other girl and a kegorator..... i gained back those 20 pounds.... and the compliments stopped coming... i was still dating that guy- but things were bad between us... i wasn't getting the same attention- luckily i had my friends and a good base- and i just had to buy some new clothes...i have to say again- i KNOW i'm not fat...but i'm uncomfortable- being in london has just exacerbated this fact... everyone is stick skinny and dresses fantastic... so now not only am i large.... but i'm wearing my favorite sweatpants.... f*ck me.... :p ...

moral of the story... i'm not really sure... i'm still confused and am trying to work out and not eat a whole bunch (b/c of the birth control- i doubt i will lose anything less than 10 pounds) i think as a result i just make fun of it and try to make it funny- my friends have alwyas joked about being fat- going to wendys or taco bell and eating massive amounts of food...in the parking lot of the restaurant... lol... its a normal thing- we're normal girls... some take it too far and develop eating problems.. i see that beautiful girl walking down the street and all the guys look- bu ti know that they look at me too... it all works out in the end i guess... especially if yo uhave a sense of humour about it... ;)

Actually, the reason that the suicide rate is higher among young males is because men are more like to kill themselves by "more effective" means (for lack of a better term). However, women are more suicidal then men, and have more attempts.

AlethiaSi My sister went to Paris and she is in GREAT shape, not an ounce of fat on her. She too said exactly what you're saying about all the skinny women. I couldn't believe it when she said SHE felt over weight. Cest la vie!

So true about Europe!
 

When I was in Spain, I felt like a cow. I wear an 8 here, or a 40-42 in French/ Spanish sizes. 42 is the largest size carried in most mainstream stores... I was shocked. All the girls in Spain are so small. Of course, they are short to boot (at 5' 6" I towered! It was a little funny).
The funny thing was they didn't workout, and they didn't eat healthy. There weren't any salad, running, organic food fanatics like in CA. They just would eat really small portions, and they waked everywhere. Lots of people had motos but no one had a car. Most places you got to by walking. Also, the idea of fast food was almost non existent. If you went to McDonalds, you sat to eat. No one took food or drink (except water or maybe some candy) out on the sreet. Coffee was served in ceramic at the bar. Meals were meals. Of course, they are facing a generation of children who grow up far more american than the others, and they too are worried about obesity.

More unsuccessful attempts at suicide probably equals cries for help more than anything...

Also, keep in mind that while overweight might not be the male ideal, neither is insanely skinny. Although Im not sure why everyone's all over Paris Hilton, looking all orange and emaciated like a Hiroshima survivor, but that was another thread.

Girls have it harder. Have you ever heard of a stereotypical fraternity doing "Circle the fat" on their pledges? I didn't think so. Men are allowed to eat more because they have "big, manly appetites," whereas women are told that men won't love them if they eat more than a salad at dinner.