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Speakin' of tips...
How would you intelligent sistas like to be approached by a brotha? Give Yall's bruhs some tips on how to use our mouthpieces!
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What a clever way to introduce your topic, Original. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif
I always appreciate someone who can approach me comfortably and with sincerity. He just needs to be himself, and if I'm interested, I'll let him know. If he happens to be an excellent conversationalist, knows Christ, and is captivating...he'll probably keep my attention for sure. +++ ------------------ I will bless the Lord at ALL times His praise shall continually be in my mouth. (Psalms 34:1, KJV) |
I think it's cool to be approached by a dude and he doesn't act like he's trying to get on. Just cool, friendly conversation. Just be yourself. I think it's when dude's are tryin' to throw game and drop lines that they sometimes look and sound nervous and stupid or whatever, too much pressure. We like sincerity. We like to laugh. No pressure in that. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif
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A confident look, a beautiful smile, and a simple "hello" while looking me right in the eyes. It gets me everytime...
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Just a man that keeps it real and approaches intelligently. The following list may help further my point.
DO NOT... 1. Whisper "Pssssst..." when I walk by. I might turn around, but you can trust it will only be to roll my eyes at you. 2. Refer to me as "lil mama", "shawty" or "boo". Really, this applies even if we're already involved. 3. Even THINK about putting your hands on me when I pass you. You don't know me like that. 4. Send your raggedy friend to tell me you "wanna holla". Junior high is over... you may as well pass me a note. 5. Ask for my number and get pissy when I tell you no. Would you rather I give you a wrong number? Perhaps give you my real number and never answer when you call? Cut your losses. 6. Re-enact the following conversation: YOU: Do you have a man? ME: No.... YOU: You do now. No, I don't. Really. These are just a few things that irk me. The majority of guys aren't this trifling, but we all know they're out there lurking somewhere. |
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TOA, I wouldn't think that you'd try any of these approaches, especially given your age (always have to keep the humor flowing http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif ). You know, by now, that these approaches don't work, right? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif [This message has been edited by nikki25 (edited June 25, 2001).] |
Just walk up and introduce yourself. "Hello, my name is ... and I was just noticing you and wanted to meet you."
DO NOT: Say "Damn, you're cute for a big girl" (Are most big women unattractive????) Compare my "fineness" to a food item. (i.e. Damn girl, you finer than some hamhocks and collards!! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif ) Call me Shawty, shorty, boo, or Hey Big Girl! Tell me what you want to do to me behind close doors, cause you may get slapped!! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif I have too many more, I could go on forever!!! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif [This message has been edited by THICKNCHOCLATE (edited June 25, 2001).] |
Ditto TNC:
I hate the "YOU LOOK GOOD FOR A BIG WOMAN" approach. I always come back with "I LOOK GOOD FOR ANY SIZE WOMAN". Just approach me like a gentleman, it's that simple. I stopped liking thugs when I was 16 years old. |
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WooHoo, that's a good one! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif |
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I usually encounter this: 6. Re-enact the following conversation: YOU: Do you have a man? ME: Yeah YOU: Well can we be friends? ME: No. YOU: Why not? It won't hurt. What, your man won't let you have friends? Just let it go. No means no. |
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Awwwwwwh Dayum! I'mma gon haf ta change my game plan! So THAT'S WHAT THE PROBLEM IZ!!! An I taught it wuz mah dreds all along!!! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/confused.gif [This message has been edited by The Original Ape (edited June 25, 2001).] |
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Original... I am not going to answer your question because I can't. I NEVER give my number to a guy, no matter how nice, fine, etc., that I have just met. I can't remember a time that I have ever felt comfortable doing so. All of the men I have ever dated have been guys I knew for a while as friends... I have to know he's not an ass and that I can talk to him before we go out. ------------------ "Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it." Henry David Thoreau |
I love for a man to simply walk up & introduce himself, have a casual conversation for about 1 minute pass his # along and leave!!!
This has only happened once and I loved it!!!! That brotha made such and impression on me... I couldn't wait to call him. I absolutely hate : 1.Psssst! 2.Yo shorty, shorrrrttttaaaayyyy! 3. Damn you sexy to be a big girl!!!! Brothas its all attitude not my dress or my walk. B/C I feel sexy I am!!! And of course I'm big, there's enough for Now&Latah...nobody ever wants a small of their favorite dish!! 4. Can I have a hug??? NOT!!!!!( heavy chested sistahs you feel me) 5.And please, please, do NOT stare! I'm thinking you're a stalker not an interest Basically anything besides an introduction, I find annoying! ------------------ "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful" When da EAST is in da house....Oh my GOD!!!! DANGER! [This message has been edited by OhSoPrettyNikki (edited June 25, 2001).] |
The introduction I love:
Hello how are you? My name is ____. I noticed you and wanted to introduce myself to you. Short convo blah blah...I would like to exchange numbers but if you don't feel comfortable with that I'll give you my number. Maybe we can have dinner or a drink sometime. It was nice meeting you. I've only been approached like that once. Do Not Say Say red, mami, boo, shawty, yellow, stout junt (southern ghetto compliment believe it or not) You: Ey scruse me, you gotta man? Me: Yes (lying) You: Are you happy? Me: Yes You: Do you cheat? Me: WTF? Another case, true story You: Hey bru-ti-ful....(yeah that's what he said..brutiful.) Me: <Blank stare> http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif You: Is u married? Me: Yes, showing my ring (I'm lying but I occasionaly wear a ring to keep the strays away but sometimes it doesn't work, cause he approached me.) You: Girl that ain't no wedding ring. This is a wedding ring (and he shows me his wedding ring.) So can I have your number? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/mad.gif |
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(yes....cornbread http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif ) Some more advice, DO NOT try to "holla" at a female in front of your boys. It'll only hurt you more when you're publicly rejected. Just be a gentleman. Approach her and spark up an intelligent conversation. Any decent woman will respect that. [This message has been edited by NOWorNEVER (edited June 25, 2001).] |
Total, I almost spit my Coke out.
------------------ "Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it." Henry David Thoreau |
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Also do not compare our "fineness" to automobiles...yall remember "You Remind Me of My Jeep" |
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This is why I do this: Quote:
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These things make me feel glad (for the moment at least) that I am single!! ------------------ "If there is no struggle, there is no progress"--Frederick Douglass |
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Bravo! Thank you for posting the cultured, classy way for a man to approach a woman that he's interested in. I'm filing this one away in the memory bank to see if a man approaches me with this setup. Brothers, please take heed of this wonderful advice. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif |
hi. what is your name? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif no bull$hit http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/redface.gif no sey boos, no sey reds...no comments on my looks or my a$$ets...don't flash your money or your car...BIG turn off...and if you have a girl...even if its on the rocks...keep strollin' by as if you had never seen me... http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif don't say nothin' bad about your mama or your sister...don't touch your stuff...or anywhere near that area while you're talking to me http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif don't stare...it shows a lack of self-control... http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif if you're a freak and looking for one...i'm not the one http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/redface.gif don't use the word "dsl's"...basic questions...what is your name? where are you from? what do you do? what is your sign? what is your favorite color? is there life out there? not would you like to see a movie? can i take you to dinner? can i buy you a drink? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/redface.gif ummm, numyummm... http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif gee golly gee beave...just think before you speak...that would help alot... http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif
[This message has been edited by SableCherub (edited June 26, 2001).] |
LOL AT EACH AND E'RY ONE OF YA!
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What if a man approaches you one evening and say "Excuse me I hate to impose on your evening, but how would you like something hard and sweet, something that I'm sure would satisfy your evening." And then offer you a peppermint and tell you to have a good night. How would you react before he offer you the peppermint.
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Soror Sexy Mocha, you are hilarious!!! LOL!
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Anywho, if a dude said that to me, my response would be (if I was in a good mood), "Well, it all depends. Lemme see." After the peppermint, though, he'd get str8 clowned (in a good way, of course)! I mean, really, how would a peppermint satisfy your evening?? If I was in a bad mood, though, he wouldn't even get the time of day. And he could keep the peppermint, too. |
I have decided to never give my number out again because I always get the weirdos. The last guy I gave my number to just didn't have it all.
The phone conversation went like this, now mind you I just met him earlier that day..... him: how you doin me: fine him: i didn't ask you whut you look like, i ax you how you doin me: um nice try.... him: so whut you got on... me: ??(click) What you mean what I got on? WTF? Brothaman kept calling me for a minute asking why I aint neva called him back...so the last time he called I let my brother answer the phone and he pretended to be my angry husband..lol...needless to say ole boy hasn't called back since. |
I think I have a "I Accept Rejects" sign across my forehead. Here's what happened to me.
I'm at the gas station minding my own business after work. A turquoise car pulls up to the pump next to me....WTF was he thinking buying a turquoise car...who in the hell makes turquoise cars...and to top it off he had gold teeth....anyway... Him: How you doing? Me: Fine Him: You dressed nice Me: Just left work Him: You must got an office job dressed like that. Me: (thinking) why is this dumb a$$ still here? Him: You need me to pump your gas Me: No but you can pay some car notes, damn pumping gas...that's the least of my worries. Him: You must got a lot of money. You filling your tank all the way up. I proceeded to get in my car and drive away. I know there are intelligent men out there....I know there are Lord. [This message has been edited by Total Elegance (edited June 26, 2001).] |
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------------------ "If there is no struggle, there is no progress"--Frederick Douglass |
Being that women come with various forms of interest, my best advice would be to think BEFORE speaking. Observe the lady of interest for a moment and get a feel for her. Don't just have the physiological reaction and not let the mind send a message to deliver.
One can tell a lot by nonverbal communication i.e. the confidence in a woman's walk, the expression on her face, the disposition that her body is in etc. All of this is a direct indication as to the best way to apporach a woman, even attire can be taken into consideration. ------------------ Anything Worth Doing Is Worth Doing Well |
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Before the peppermint, I would probably have a coy look and a chuckle. A man coming up to me saying something like that would surely make me laugh, with or without the peppermint. |
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So when a brother introduces himself like this and gives you his number, because you feel uncomfortable, do you make it a point to try and reach him? There is a difference between call and reach. Call is when you get the answering machine. Reach is when you leave a message and may call again. Another question And just how much convo does a brother get with this introduction if you don't think he is super fine? |
I'm definitely more casual than some of the posters here. I don't know that I've ever "dated" per se. I prefer to meet people and bring them around my friends to see how they interact. When you're in a group of people, it's sometimes easier to talk than when the pressure's on - one-on-one.
I also am the type of person who will just decline a number if I'm really not interested. If I am interested and you give me your number, I'll have the courtesy to call and, yes, leave a message. But, that's about all you get until you come correct and show me how you really treat a lady. Now, I have to tell my issue. I tend to "meet" men/thugs/morons at liquor stores and gas stations. These undesirables like to follow me around asking things like, "Are you married?" "Do you have a man?" and like the rest of you, I've gotten "Do you have a man?" "Yes" (lying sometimes) "Can I come see you sometime? "No" "What, your man don't let you have freeeiiinnz?" My personal favorite was someone who amused me enough for me to STUPIDLY talk to him. I was much younger so please excuse me. Conversation: Foo: "Aaaaay white girl" (PJ ignores) Foo: "SHAWTY!" (PJ continues to ignore) (PJ is followed into the store) Foo: "Shawty, where you goin?" PJ: "Go on, I don't want to talk to you" Foo: "Hold up hold up Listen to me for a minute" PJ: "What" Foo: "My name Casino, it's nice to meet you" (followed by a fake and condescending handshake) PJ: "What's your real name?" Foo: "PYT" (PJ remains silent) Foo: "Ok, it's Jermaine." Well, I found out later that his name wasn't even Jermaine. Lawd help these foos!!! Bless their hearts, they don't get it do they? |
TTT/heckuva old thread
But I'm getting a good giggle out of this because of my "like-bug." I will say he approached me in a gentlemanly fashion. ;) :)
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I say just be nice and sincere. Giver her a nice compliment and ask if you can get to know her better. Offer your tel number and perhaps your email address (if you have one). Ask if she doesn't mind you taking her information and don't be upset if she says that she will take yours but not give you hers. It doesn't mean that she's not interested necessarily. She could just be cautious, esp. since some tel numbers give you addresses when you Google them and she may not want you to know where she lives.
It's really not that big of a deal. If a woman has to have a man approach her like x, y and z and she is way extra then you probably don't want to be bothered with her anyway, unless you like drama. Quote:
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A sincere and non-sexual compliment is very appropriate, such "You're a very beautiful woman"... who doesn't want to hear that? If you want to mention the part of the woman's anatomy that interested you, please let it be her eyes, her smile, her beautiful brown skin. Mentioning gluteal, breast, or other below-the-neck parts of her anatomy will get you nowhere with a true lady.
Also keep in mind that this woman does not know you. I would prefer to have your email address and then I'll email you when it's convenient and if I'm interested. Guys have been put-off when I've told them I don't feel comfortable calling them and would rather have their email address. For me, calling can be a bit more intimate than desired when trying to feel somebody out and assess their intentions. |
gauge (sp?) a woman's interest by studying her body language and eye contact before you ask for her number.
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Hey all,
I'm back from hiatus again :D Anyway, I just had to comment here. Yes, I am a young girl (21), but I still want respect. Im not saying that u have to approach me like ur about to give a speach in front of the nation, but still I don't think that it's much to as for a "Excuse me miss do you mind if I talk with you for a minute?" It's that simple. Instead, since a lot of the guys in my peer group can be a little immature (not all . . but many 21 year old guys are) I tend to get "Psssssst . . Aye Ma, come ova here" :rolleyes: Many times I tell them "Havent you heard that real ladies really hate that??" Some are totally confused as to y "Aye Ma" didn't work, while others seem to have a light bulb go off and get it :p. So guys young and old take note . . . women love to be approached as a lady. Even if u have a little rough-ness about u . . you'll go miles further with no bs,no lines, and stick to respect and honesty. If she says no, most-likely she'll try to equally respectfull about it. But if you approach like an azz, expect to get ignored like one |
Question to the ladies
Have you ever ignored some ignorant comments and come on lines from a guy and still gave the guy some play because he was particularly good looking?
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