"Marriage" or "Commitment"?
 

OK, some schools use the term "commitment" in their marriage announcements (in alumni magazines) instead of "marriage" just to be more "PC". Do you that it's a good idea?

Here's my profound answer...
 

No.

Is this a Canadian thing?

All the alumni/alumnae magazines I've seen (including those of my own) have never ever used the word "commitment". They use "marriage". I guess I don't have an opinion.

I don't know if it's a "Canadian thing" or just Queen's University. My high school uses "marriages" (there has been, so far, one lesbian wedding)

My university publishes a newsletter that gets sent out to all alumni, but they don't publish marriage announcements -- they just try to solicit money.

My old high school publishes an alumnae magazine twice a year and the end section is devoted to class and alumnae notes. Being that it was an all-girls' Catholic school, I doubt that they'd include any alumna who decided to take on a life partner.

I have never seen any of my magazines I receive (sorority, uni and high school) use the word commitment.

I would have to guess as a "Canadian" that the term "commitment" is applied to your "life partner" and that marriage refers to wife/husband... at least from experience.... neither one in any of my Alumn magazine or mailings is given prominence over the other (despite the whole Catholic highschool thing).....

A marriage is a marriage, right? "Commitment" can describe it, but you don't necessarily have to be married to be committed, so I think to use this word in place of "marriage" is being too vague.

This will never ever happen at Marquette. You get married. Preferably on campus in our gorgeous ass church. :p

I think the term was coined about five or six years ago to recognize gay unions as I haven't seen any common law relationships announcments (kinda silly, don't you think? "Jen and Dave decided to permanently move in together and did so quietly on January 5th of this year." Not really worth an annoucement, I don't think).

I don't know why people bother to make an announcement. The people who would care I am assuming would already know because you told them or it was through word of mouth. People who don't know you don't care or people who you haven seen or spoken to in years probably don't care either.

If I told people on this board that I was getting married, I would probably get some congratulations and best wishes, but I doubt any of you would get overly excited, like "woohoo, Lady Pi Phi, whom I don't know is getting married to some guy I don't know! I'm bursting with fruit flavour!!!"

I think people should use marriage or commitment how they see fit. Why get hung up about a term. 50% of those "marriages" or "commitments" will end in divorce or seperation anyway.

Tradition, Lady Pi Phi. People are going to wonder where the section went if the magazine's editors decide to take it out. They also announce births and deaths, and I think alum who haven't kept in touch with each other might want to know. :)

Yes. I think it's a fantastic idea. I've stopped referring to my relationship as a "marriage" and I now call it a "civil union". It's a small protest, but I don't want any special title awarded to me just 'cause I fell in love with someone of a different gender.

Our magazine uses marriage

Re: why is it there Personally, I really like it. Sure, most people will hear through word of mouth or because of an invitation, but there's always the occasional person who you've lost touch with, and suddenly you see their name pop up. When that happens, I make an effort to get their contact information, wish them congratulations, and try to get back in touch.

Sure, if you're straight. Otherwise, you get to drink from a separate water fountain.

I'm not suggesting they eliminate it. Obviously there are some people who are interested. I just think if it's been years since you've last contacted someone then you probably don't care what's going on in their life. There are people from highschool I used to be friends with, but we grew apart and moved in different directions. I don't want to be mean, but if I haven't made the effort to stay in contact with them, their lives don't mean much to me.

I think what I'm trying to say is that you don't need to make an announcement to everyone and their mother because the important people in your life, and most likely the ones that will be sharing in your happiness will already know.

Also, I think the use of the term "commitment" or "marriage" should be up to the people making the announcement, not the editors of the paper/magazine/ whatever.

Exactly! I like the idea of knowing where, for example, the sisters who were seniors when I pledged are in their lives. We aren't close, but we're sisters and I would want to hear good news in their lives. Thanks to my alumni magazine, I've been able to reconnect with older sisters, hallmates, and friends who graduated earlier--I'm grateful for that opportunity!

After all, isn't that the point of an alumni magazine?

My college uses "marriage," as the vast majority of announcements I've seen are for heterosexual couples; I imagine the Massachusetts ruling will change the way such things are worded for same-sex unions.

It's never up to the individual couple. It's the heading of the section. You're obviously not going to put a marriage announcement next to a birth announcment, even if it's from the same year. It'll look unorganized to most people. You have the "general news" section, marriages/commitments/whatever you want to call it, births and deaths.

Also, I think many people ARE interested in seeing what happened to people they've lost contact with. I recently had my 5 year reunion and saw a couple of girls I hadn't seen/spoken with since graduation, and caught up on news. I found out that one girl, who transferred to another school was pregnant (she's married, btw). Sure enough, a few months later, I received the school's Old Girls magazine and news of her baby's birth was printed there. Also, you might want to find out info about people who were "school celebrities" (students who had high profile leadership positions) who were not in your year. For example, the Boarder Captain (boarding school prefect ("prefects", for those who might not know, are senior student leadership positions, usually with specific portfolios (Head Girl/Boy/Prefect, Games Captain, Arts Prefect, etc) elected by students in the spring (for the following academic year). Some positions may be appointed by faculty. In some schools, prefects are in office for two years (meaning that half the students are in grade 11 and the other half in grade 12). This system is common in private schools, especially those based on the UK system) who graduated the year before I did recently married.

Edited: Spelling mistake!!!

The alumni magazine for my college lists everything by class year, so you'll see something like:

1970s
Mom GeekyPenguin is pleased to announce her daughter has transferred to Marquette to continue the family tradition of a Jesuit education.

Mom's Roommate just moved to Texas where she is proud to announce she and her husband (Mr. Dude, Comm '77) are expecting a baby right in time for March Madness.

Rich FinanceGuy is now the head of Boring Company, Inc, based out of Chicago. He's made millions in the commodities market and will be endowing a scholarship for a boring finance guy like himself.

Suzie Soandso has recently passed away after a battle with cancer, and we mourn her loss. Please keep her family in your prayers.


We all like it better this way because my mom really doesn't give a crap about the class of 1930.

Is your mom hot?

-Rudey

She's pretty good looking for a mom - but I think my dad would fight you for her.

Plus she hates expensive jeans. ;)

You took this too far.

-Rudey
--TOO FAR!

So they list all news from grads (from the same year), no matter what it is? Like you'd have a birth annoucement right after a marriage announcement, for example?

Right, that was exactly the point of my example. It's actually done by decade.

my school does it similar to that, but by graduation year.

Now, look at your point from the complete opposite angle. How many "marriages" are not actually "commitments"... I could jot down a list that would be a country mile long, and that would be from just my town. I think "Commitment" is being to assuming, unfortunately.

Can we not mention things like marriage and committment? They make my head hurt thinking about them.

Neither Marriage nor committment, much like death and taxes is good for a man so it doesn't much matter how we announce it.

Ours is actually 2 seperate sections. We have one section where it goes year by year, and will list like Geeky Penguin's...

1971
Jenny A has taken a high-level position with Big Name Firm

1993
Bobby B has been elected to the school board of his town.

And then a seperate section that's lumped together, just under the title "Marriages" where it will list

Suzy Doozy (98) to Jack Smack (96)
Bill Hill (99) to Anne Mann (no year if not an alum)

etc.