Seriously Dating someone outside of your religion/race
 

I know that many of us have interracially/inter-religiously dated. Some of us are married to someone who is of a different race/faith. For GCers who aren't married, will you consider marrying/seriously dating someone who isn't of your race/faith? Why or why not? What if that person is of a different race/faith, but their upbringing was similar to yours (since upbringing is usually cited as to why one shouldn't date)? Wouldn't you think that you'd have more in common with said person than someone who is of your race/faith, but brought up completely different from you?

It would depend on how IMPORTANT those things were to me.

For instance, I have a Jewish friend for whom it's VERY important that he marry a nice Jewish girl. I have a sneaking suspicion he'd ask to take me out if not for that.... but it's important to him, so he doesn't.

If she is hot i really don't care what her background is lol . . ..

I'm serious! :p

It's important to me that the person I date have something that they believe in...and by that I mean I don't care if they're Jewish, Catholic, Protestant, Hindu, whatever, as long as they're not agnostic or atheist. That's just my preference. I'm not "officially" any religion, so it wouldn't cause problems on my end. Race isn't really a consideration for me anymore, either.

I'd date outside my race no problem - religion as long as we had similiar ideas.

I have no problem with race, but if their religious views were extreemly different than mine, there probably wouldent be much of a future.

I've never been religious as in I never went to Temple much when I was younger. We celebrated Hanukkah, Rosh Hashanah, Passover, etc. but it was more of a family get together then us doing any religious aspects.
My boyfriend was raised in a Catholic home but, like mine, his family was not religious.
It's never been an issue in either of our families to find "a nice Jewish boy" or "a nice Catholic girl". My parents have said that they prefer I date a Jewish boy but as long as I've found a guy who has other wonderful qualities than it's ok. My mother has always said that my current boyfriend is exactly who she would want her daughter to date except that he's not Jewish. :)
We've discussed marriage and children. My religion, per se, is not as important to me as the cultural aspects behind Judaism. As many others have stated, Judaism is more than just a religion. My boyfriend and I have agreed to have a Jewish wedding. When we have kids, they will be raised as both religions but I will probably teach them more about Judaism. They'll be taken to Temple occasionally and they'll learn about the history. They'll also be given Hebrew names.
Also, according to the Jewish religion, your children are the religion of the mother.

I would have no problem dating outside my race. As for religion, I have never seriously dated a Jewish guy. Not that I wouldn't want to (and I know my mom would love it!) but there aren't a whole heck of a lot of nice Jewish guys in the town where I live. I don't want kids, so the whole marrying someone of my religion thing is not as big of a deal to me as it is to some.

I do prefer that whoever I am involved with believe in something. I have a friend who is an atheist and he did have a big thing for me for a while. That was part of the reason I didn't want to date him. (Other part-I just wasn't attracted in that way.)

Just because someone is an atheist does not mean they don't believe in anything. They may have strong convictions about politics, family, etc, etc. Just because they don't believe in a god/higher power does not mean that they don't hold vaules/high moral standards or believe in something.

Re: Seriously Dating someone outside of your religion/race
 

I don't have a problem dating someone from a different race. As for the Religion part, I'm pretty flexable.

By believing in something, I meant in some sort of a higher power. That was worded a bit vaguely though! No offense meant.

No offense taken. IT was worded a bit vaguely so I just wanted to say something.

Ok....so I would LOVE to date someone who was Jewish. But to tell you the truth, all of the Jewish guys that I have ever dated have been interested mainly in sex...and pretty much nothing else. Even recently, I started going to Chabad partially to meet jewish guys because, yes, the jewish culture is REALLY important to me, and I would absolutely love to seriously date someone who is jewish as well. BUT.....almost all of the guys I have met are interested in hooking up...and nothing more.

Interestingly enough, all the guys I've ever gotten even remotely serious with were Catholic. I sort of have this feeling that as much as I'd love to marry someone Jewish, I'll probably end up marrying someone who's not...because that's just the way it seems I'm headed!!!

BUT...I think it's really important that I teach my kids all about Judaism, and make sure they go to religious school and get b'nai mitzbvahed and be sure they keep mostly kosher!! So ideally I'll end up with someone who respects my wishes in this department!!

I'm dating a Catholic Mexican right now...I'm a WASP (White Anglo-Saxon Prodestant) .... you do the math...

What's Chabad?
And do I understand it correctly that a Jewish person (aka a Jew - is that correct + inoffensive??) is someone who practices the religion judaism? In Israel, is judaism the primary religion (like catholicism in Italy say?)?
I'm confused about it - race/religion/culture (?) and don't know any Jewish people so thought I'd ask. Only way to learn :).

Thanks!
Richard :)

I honestly have no idea why you don't know this but I guess it's ok.

Yes, Israel is the ONLY Jewish state. There has been a Jewish presence in the region since biblical times - unbroken through thousands of years. There are tons of Christian states and around 30 Arab states and even more Muslim states.

Yes, being Jewish is a religion but it is the only religion to carry such a national and cultural existence along with it. Jews are tied to Israel. Jews pray facing Israel. There are Western Jews who speak Yiddish which combines German and other dialects with Hebrew. There are Jews from Uganda, Ethiopia, China, etc who speak their own languages. There are Jews from Middle Eastern countries and Spain and Latin America. Within certain parts of Europe and America the Anglos and Westerners were foolish enough to label themselves further. All together, less than 1% of the total global population is Jewish. Their foods, culture, art is unique to them and influences their religion even. Jews are a people. It is a religion, first and foremost, with culture and race that has been influenced by history and given birth to Christianity and Islam.

And Chabad is a campus religious organization affiliated with the Lubavitcher movement - a movement of Orthodox Ashkenazim from Russia who dress according to their customs influenced by their history through time (ie black top hats).

-Rudey

That helped me understand much better. Thank you.

Does that mean that absolutchick only meets boys that wear black top hats? I can see that being aproblem for a girl that has started multiple-Jean threads ;)

In terms of race I have been there, done that and got the t-shirt lol. I haven't any qualms about dating out.

Religion-wise I have more reservations. I am a theist, meaning I believe there is a God, but not in an accompanying religion. I get along best with men who are spiritual as opposed to religious. I don't think I could date a man who was very heavily religious, nor would I be comfortable with an atheist, who believed in nothing. The first kinda freaks me out (no bible thumping, adult baptism, crazy rules about diet, a la veganism, celibacy because Jesus told you so or biblical citations about why I am inferior thanks!), and I find the second view incomprehensible (which is not meant as a judgement, merely that I see the existence of God in the world around me and while I can imagine another viewpoint, can't necessarily understand how you could deny that feeling).

I am Solopist . . . make of that what you will but its a tidy belief system.

What's the difference between Chabad and Hillel?

I'm married now, but I never had a problem with either race or religion. My main concern regarding religion was that my children should be raised in some faith.

I was a lapsed Catholic when I met my Jewish husband. At one point when we were dating, he made it clear to me that he wasn't concerned with whether his wife was Jewish, as long as his future children were raised Jewish. I was fine with that. Some time later, we got engaged. I decided that if my husband and kids were going to be Jewish, I should find out more about Judaism... and I wound up converting.

I hasten to clarify that I chose Judaism for my own reasons, not for my husband's or anyone else's sake. I'd had a boyfriend who demanded that I convert to his religion or he was dumping me... yep, 30 seconds later he was my ex-boyfriend. :p

Of our 5 adopted daughters, 4 are Asian and 1 is Hispanic. Those who are old enough to date have only dated white guys...since they've been raised in such a multicultural environment, I have no idea why.

HAHAHA...no most of the people that go to Chabad look just like everyone else! Almost no one (at least here) actually wears the black top-hats, doesnt shave, etc.....except for the Rabbi!!

I have briefly dated men of different faiths and cultures. A few of them told me bluntly that they wanted to date women of their religion. So why did they start dating me? *shrug*


I am Irish Catholic and my boyfriend is half Irish and Catholic. It just worked out that way.

That's happened to me and to a friend of mine. She's Catholic (though not religious), he's Jewish (again, not religious), but told her that he "has to marry a Jewish girl". I went out with a guy who said that to me as well, on, like the second or third date. We only saw each other a few more times after that. My friend, on the other hand, dated the guy her entire 4 years of undergrad.

your friend is a moron:)

I am Catholic and would prefer to marry another catholic (so i can get married in a church) but if I met a wonderful man that is perfect for me that is not catholic we can have an outside weeding (then I can convert him and we cn get our vows blessed, well that is the plan)

I don't care about race. My mom is Irish and my dad is Native America/German. PLus I live in GA, half of the population is not my race. It just makes it easy to keep things broad.


Chris

SERIOUSLY....does she plan on converting to Judaism? If not, that's REALLY WEIRD!!

Chabad is affiliated with a movement and strives to reach out to more Jewish people and bring them back into the religion with their cultural flavor to spice it up. Hillel is a bit more hands-off and also more "diverse" with no attachment to a movement or whatnot.

Chabad.org
Hillel.org

-Rudey

Rudey, not atheist, "theist"

ag·nos·tic __ (_P_)__Pronunciation Key__(g-nstk) n.

1.
a. One who believes that it is impossible to know whether there is a God.
b. One who is skeptical about the existence of God but does not profess true atheism.

2. One who is doubtful or noncommittal about something.

the·ism __ (_P_)__Pronunciation Key__(thzm)
n.

Belief in the existence of a god or gods, especially belief in a personal God as creator and ruler of the world.

I knew what both of those were...I saw the "a" before theist and that's why i got confused.

-Rudey

I know. It's late. :)

I married a Mexican Catholic that was born American and I am born French but Persian and also Shi'ite Muslim.........lol....... I also dated so many different nationalities my friend nicknamed me the U.N. Player lol.............. oh well, variety makes life interesting. but i have come across difficulties because they dont want to date me cuz of their family or they want to marry a girl with the same race/religion, but they like me....so weird, but I understand. I know its harder for me cuz guy's family afraid that we will have Deaf children. I GURANTEE YOU EVERY GUY I HAVE DATED, THEIR MOM SAID WHAT IF YOUR KIDS END UP DEAF.

Nowadays, in the Catholic Church, you can marry whomever you want to marry in the church...athiest, Jewish, muslim, whatever....you just have to go through the classes (like you would if you were both Catholic) and you have to promise to raise your kids Catholic (I guess my mom's going to Catholic hell, caz that's what her and my Lutheran dad did...and I'm sure not Catholic...but I did go to highschool at a Catholic school.)

I'm the same way! I've only seriously dated one Jewish guy and he turned out to be a real loser. The rest of the Jewish guys I've met have only wanted a hook up. The only guys that I've been serious with have been either Protestant or Catholic. I, too, would have liked to have met a "nice Jewish boy" but unfortunately, the ones I met weren't "nice". ;)
In high school, I joined BBYO and in college I joined our Jewish Greeks organization but I just didn't find any nice Jewish boys. :(
I think of it this way: as long as you meet a nice Christian guy who doesn't mind that you want to teach your children about Judaism, than it's all good.
Some of my Jewish guy friends have even gone as far as to say they'll only date an Ashkenazi Jewish girl. ????? why? I'm half Sephardic and half Ashkenazi so I guess that means I'm off their list. :rolleyes:

Hillel is the organization that is affiliated with a college campus. Chabad is just Orthodox Judiasm. Hillel may have Refom, Concervitive and/ or Orthodox Jews.
Well, here's my story: I'm Jewish (Ashkanazi) and American. Ashkanazi is the most prevalient in the US. The guys I've been interested in have also been Ashkanazi. However, I've just recently been out with a Sephardic Israeli. His English was poor and it was very difficult for me to understand him. He was exteremly nice, but not for me. I could not be happy with someone who did not know English and/ or the American culture to make me feel more at home and at ease. It was NOT the fact that he was Israeli or Separdic. But we are litterally from two different worlds and I could not see having a happy harmonous home in the future.

No Chabad is part of the Lubavitcher movement.

-Rudey

Why? Because that's what they want. What's it to you? You probably don't even understand the difference between Sephardic and Ashkenazic traditions. The two have completely different histories and experiences. The two have different religious services. There are differences in religious material that the two use including the tefillin, etc. Please don't be so close minded to question what others do and roll your eyes.

-Rudey
--Nobody likes the ignorant

I'm actually quite aware of the difference between the two cultures. My mothers side of her family still speaks Spanish and the food we eat when we get together at my mother's families place is completely different than my father's. I know the history of the Sephardic Jews; I know all about my family in Spain and their experiences during the Inquisition and their movement to Turkey and Morocco.
I'm also very aware of the difference between the Sephardic Jew religious ceremonies vs. that of the Ashkenazic having experienced both.
I don't think I'm being close-minded. I grew up in a family where the two cultures were mixed and there was never a problem. I always felt that if you're Jewish, than you're Jewish and just could never understand why there's almost a preference in our own religion. We deal with so much predjudice from others only to create a bias within ourselves but this is way off topic from the intention of the thread.
Maybe in religious aspects such as Orthodox vs. Reform but I just never thought the difference between being Ashkenazic and Sephardic was so drastic that it meant you would only date one or the other. If that makes me ignorant, than so be it.