rudeness
 

hey- ok so i'm studying abroad in london right now- i came over with three friends sand have made a lot of other american friends and British friends... and i consider myself a pretty friendly person... but i have found british people to be incredibly rude... not everyone of course- but on the whole i would defiantely say that they are the most rude people i've ever come across... americans may be obnoxious... but at least we are courteous.... has anyone else ever noticed this?

Yes, Britains suck. ;)

I disagree.

I disagree.

I hate to say this, but you might find they are being rude to you because you are an American. While that is no excuse for rude and disresepectful behaviour, that might be the reason.

yea i know what you mean- but most of the time- i haven't even opened my mouth.... they can probably tell by my manner and dress.... its just so frustrating... its making me not want to be here anymore.... :( for instance my best friend is a politics major-and today her professor in one of her pol classes completely bashed the united states the entire time- not using one example of another country... she was completely offended and is pretty upset now...its like...we don't bash your country... ughhhhh i'm so frustrated...... i hope i just get used to it- but i don't want to- i don't think its anyway to treat people- some cashier the other day said that london was the rudest city in the world.... thats terrible..... blah

Ask them if they're upset because they no longer have colonies, native women to rape, young men to kill, and lands to plunder.

-Rudey
--And the French are worse by far.

Is that why they're our ally in Iraq?

No they're our ally because the US is the only global superpower and while the sun set on Britain long ago, they would rather move away from what is dragging the rest of Europe down.

-Rudey

OK, so are people actually being rude to your face or is it just stuff like professors making jabs at how much the U.S. sucks in class? If it's the second . . . well, at least now you know how Canada feels.


I've never been to Britain so I can't really weigh in, but none of my friends who have gone have had anything close to a negative experience.

Canada just doesn't matter.

-Rudey
--Like New Jersey kinda.

its a little bit of just plain rudeness and also jabs in class (with my friends class anyway)..... they just don't move out of the way- its little things and big things... maybe i'm just too sensitive... idk- but in the news and stuff the people are WAY against the war in iraq- there is a committee being set up to investigate the intelligence given to tony blair before he decided to help the u.s.... its a pretty heated debate- like no one likes him here... not a good situation... and you can't even mention bush.. its bad enough that most of us can't stsand him... let alone have someone that doesn't even live in your own country criticize your president.... i wouldn't say anything about blair... (thats a different story though- i guess i can't blame them lol)

I've always found British people to be very friendly and polite, but reserved. We Americans are used to outgoing friendliness - in the UK it's more subtle.

I would chalk part of it up to the fact that London is just SUCH a large city and, like New York City, shortness--or rudeness--comes with the territory. And, yes, you usually can tell the Americans apart by how they dress--we're more casual than most. When I lived there, jeans were strictly for fashion, not every day wear (though that may have changed by now) and athletic shoes, excepting fashion ones, were taboo.

They have a completely different cultural mindset than we do as Americans. They tend to be reserved, dry and close-lipped where Americans are outgoing, open and boisterous. There's nothing wrong with either culture, it's just how we are. I worked at a very upscale restaurant when I lived there and I was hired because I was an American and knew how to give courteous service which was what the manager wanted. I thoroughly enjoy Britain, I would love to go back and live there, but I think part of it is because I'm not super outgoing, I have a dry, sarcastic sense of humor and I enjoy British customs.

Unfortunately, at this time, America is not very popular with many world countries and you are going to find that mindset reflected in its people. It's just something you're going to have to deal with while you're over there. If you can, try and get out of London for a weekend--is there a Bank holiday coming up anytime soon? When you get out of the city, the attitudes of people have a tendency to change.

When I was in London last summer I didn't get that impression at all. I will tell you where the people were extremely rude, though...Montreal. This is not a generalization of Canadians...I've been to Windsor, Toronto and Ottawa and in every case there people were very, very nice. (I had one of the best customer service experiences of my life in a drugstore in Windsor!) But I've been to Montreal twice (well three times, but I was a baby the first time so I don't remember much about it) and in both cases, many of the people I encountered were very rude.

Rudest US city: Ft. Wayne, IN. I was there for a family reunion a few years back and we got attitude EVERYWHERE...the hotel, the restaurants we went to, the stores. We weren't being bad customers or anything. Everyone we encountered had a chip on his or her shoulder.

Ditto. One of my best friends just came back from a semester in London at City, and my study buddy spent a semester at Oxford. Both of them loved it and had no complaints about the British. The French, on the other hand... ;)

You'll find Quebecers in general very rude. Especially those that live outside Montreal. They do not like Anglophones. If you try to speak English to them, it's guaranteed that you'll get some attitude.

often the British -- and europeans in general -- consider Americans to be very rude on things we don't even think about. We talk loudly, we expect immediate customer service... So sometimes Americans are offending others without realizing it or intending to.

I lived in the UK for several months and found most people there incredibly friendly and polite. But many of my friends made the mistake of thinking that shared language = shared culture. It got them into some sticky situations.

I personally find the Brits to be pretty polite and couteous, while sober.... but it's a different culture with it's own practices and customs on how you should interact with other people. One of the major differences is the fact that it is ingrained in the Brits be patient and wait their turn, for things like service or line-ups. Also as mentioned they are more reserved when first meeting people, but really open up once you get to know them. As for the US-bashing in the news, school, or in public.... it comes with the territory. London hosted one the largest anti-war marches prior to the war, and now that the whole WMD has blown up and looks to be mostly false a lot of the Brits feel lied to or betrayed; after-all the WMD was pretty much the sole arguement that Blair used to try and convince the people of the need for war. But as you consider the rudeness of the Brits in regards to the US and by extention you, just think of the treatment that the French have been getting in the US (and on this board).

Shut up Pierre.

-Rudey

I never had any problem with any of the British, either...every English, Scottish, Welsh, and Northern Irish person I met was very nice to me. The French, though...let's just say ils peuvent aller a l'Enfer. :p

<------ Please notice my "location" - I lived in the UK for a good, long time.


xxxx Warning: Long post ahead! ;) xxxx


Firstly, congrats on making the decision to do something new and exciting!


Having been there a long time myself, I have to say that I do not agree that the British are a rude people. They're actually rather polite. They believe in being patient, waiting their turn and so on.


You mentioned in a later post that some professor made rude comments about the US. :( That's a bummer; I'm really sorry that happened to you and your friends. That must seem so unfair. Please let me assure you that, just because a professor decided to spout his agenda, that does not mean that all Brits are rude.


I'm not sure what your other situation(s) are (as described above). I mean, people are "rude" in big cities everywhere. It also depends on *exactly* what you're describing? Bus drivers? Yes, rude. Taxi drivers? Yeah, maybe.


I have a few things to say:


1) It has been pointed out by RACooper that the British are pretty upset about "being lied to" regarding the reasons for going to war. This is true. I was still living there during the war and I know that the British public and media were irritated that the Prime Minister was not forthcoming. Now that the WMDs *still* have not been found, people are mad. That could very well carry over to an irritation with Americans as well since "we" were the ones who came up with the bomb Iraq idea. Though, they're not very happy with their Prime Minister either both for the war issue but for other dumb things too. (Boo! Down with top-up fees for university students!)


2) British people are reserved. They don't whoop and yell like we do unless they're watching a big sporting match. ;) They generally don't strike up random conversations with people like we do. That may come across as rudeness, but really it's not. They'll eventually warm up to you, especially if they get an opportunity to speak with you for a while. Also, Brits tend to be more relaxed and friendly in pubs....


3) Customer service in British restaurants is crappy. Downright. They take foreeevvvveerrr to take an order and foreeevvvvverrrrrrr to bring the meal and forrreeevvveerrrrr and a daaaaaaay to bring the check. That's just their way. While we like to rush, rush, rush through our meals (we think faster = better), they think it's rude to give a customer the bill when they've just barely eaten their last bite. A tourist might think their waitress is rude because of this...but really, it's like that everywhere.


This also kind of goes along with service in stores in general. Employees can be slow and they don't fawn all over you like they do in the US. I actually prefer the hands-off approach. I dislike having little 16 year olds stalking me around the clothing racks trying to "help" me or "start my dressing room" etc. So, like, asking a sales clerk for help and getting ignored is not rude...it's typical business practice. ;)


4) The British don't like to take themselves too seriously. They'll make "jokes" of themselves and you. Even after nearly ten years of interacting with British people, I *still* have a hard time with that concept. My wonderful boyfriend of 6.5 years is a dashing Englishman. Even after all these years, he will poke fun at me and I'll get offended even though I knew he was trying to be funny. That type of humour and delivery is hard-wired into my brain as "rudeness" because I grew up in a different culture where poking fun at others is considered mean.


Case in point, I used to work at a takeaway/bakery in Bath (England). We had a regular customer, Clive (what a stereotype name!!!), who was a cab driver. He stopped in several times a day for tea or sausage rolls. He would stand around and drink his tea and talk to us before heading back to the cab. During that time, he noticed my American flair for customer service: "Hi! Can I help you?" or "Welcome to Slices, what can I get for you?" and "Thank you, please come back again!" Clive thought that was cute/funny/amusing. Soooo, *every stinkin' time* he came in, which was like 4-5 times a day, he would walk in and say "Hi!" in a mocking way. I'd be trying to help customers and he'd be standing by the counter saying "Hi!........hi!.........hi!......hi!" in his mocking tone.


I understand that he was just trying to be funny, but I perceived it to mean that he was making fun of me in front of everyone. He thought it was funny. I thought it was rude. Having lived there for a long time, I now realize that, when a Brit does that, it's almost their way of saying that they accept you as a part of the group.


5) I'm going to say it....American students can be pretty obnoxious. I've travelled all around to places like Scotland, Wales, Belgium, Germany, Poland and so on...and no one's been rude to me. *However* that's because I didn't act like an American yokel who thinks the world revolves around me. I've met loads of foreigners who loathe that type of ignorant American.


I knew lots of American students who were doing the London study abroad semester and they were rather pathetic when it comes to relating to their host country and it's citizens. They were loud, obnoxious and totally clueless. They insisted on going together as a big flock of Americans to everything and making it all one big party. It's like they weren't making an honest attempt to really connect with their environment on a sincere level. It's that insincerity which probably makes the locals wonder why the students decided to study abroad in the first instance.


I'm not saying that you're like this - I don't know you at all! It's just that *I* have been irritated by American students in London....and I'm an American!!!


If you really, really feel that people are rude, could you give me specific examples? There are some of us here who have been there, lived there, etc and maybe we can reassure you somehow.


For an example, I'm going to throw being politically correct out the window for a moment. London has several pockets of Middle Eastern communities. In the Kensington area around Bayswater and Queensway, there are several newsagents which appear to be owned or run by Middle Eastern men. No matter what time of day I ever went in to one of those newsagents, I always felt uncomfortable. No, not because I thought they might be terrorists! Rather, the employees would just give me blank stares. No greetings, nothing. If I needed to ask for something, they would just hand it to me and say "50p". They didn't really seem to talk to anyone except other Middle Eastern men. It seems rude, but I suppose that's just their culture.


Please believe me when I say that British people are not rude. :( :( They are helpful and kind. You might have just gotten a bad lot or have misinterpreted a cultural difference. Or maybe you're just a little homesick and this is your way of justifying why being home would be better?


Maybe you can find a local pub to visit at lunchtime (by yourself without a half-dozen American students!) on a fairly regular basis just to get to know some of the regulars or something. Ask the guy nearest the TV to explain rugby or something and go from there.


The people there are really cool and I do hope you'll be able to discover that for yourself before it's time to go home!


Please, please, please feel free to PM me if you have any questions or need some advice or something. I am a huge advocate of study abroad opportunities and I am more than happy to help you out regarding culture, travel, food, whatever! (Especially if you have any "dumb questions" you don't want to ask on the board).


Okie dokie? Do go check out a football (soccer) match, do visit places outside of London, do eat Indian food, do read the local newspapers (or watch the news), do eat a doner kebab, do enjoy the sights and do go have fun!!!


.....Kelly :)

Edited for clarity and typos!

thanks everyone- i was having a pretty bad day yesterday so i think that had soemthing to do with my reaction to everything- it was pretty overwhelming even though i've been here about a week- its still hard to adjust...i don't have much time to write now (the internet cafe is kicking me out:() but i'll tell my experiences later lol- thanks everyone

Re: rudeness
 

If, as someone else pointed out, the reason they are being rude is because you are an American, just remind yourself that it is because of the United States that they are being insulting in English instead of German. Even if you don't come out and remind them of this, the knowledge of such underscores either A) those particular peoples' lack of awareness of their country's history or B) lack of appreciation for the freedom they experience today. And knowing you're dealing with buffoons makes their lack of manners much less appalling :)

Re: rudeness
 

Maybe British people hate you because you don't speak their language.

I do know one thing, the British get rude if someone insults their mother...if not psycho.

Re: Re: rudeness
 

I can tell you that would be the wrong thing to say...... a statement like that would pretty much reinforce the attitude that she doesn't like. I can't think of any Brits that would take a statement like that lightly......

Re: Re: Re: rudeness
 

Nor should they. Perhaps those who choose to be rude to Americans solely because they are Americans need to do a gut check.

Are you serious? Like threatening to cut your throat and stuff?

-Rudey
--That's scary dude.

Well, they never did find Jack the Ripper did they?

And as Churchill said, "We're separated by a common language." At least they think that's what he said. He had been drinking at the time.

Just kidding.

lol seriously that happens! i was on the qeue to get my underground card fixed the other day and i struck up a conversation with the guy behind me- i don't know how we got on the subject- but he told me that he used to be a bouncer at heaven- this really hot club here- and i said "used to?" and he said that he had gotten fired the night before because his boss had called his mother like a foxy slut or something wierd like that (the guy had brought his mom into work to see the club) and the guy punched his boss in the face and started attacking him...the guy was like- i'm really a nice fellow- but don't unsult me mum.... i was kinda scared and i stopped talking to him lol

If someone called my mom a slut I would punch him in the face as well.

Re: Re: Re: Re: rudeness
 

I think you missed my point..... they would take your comment as a pretty big insult and it would reinforce the stereotype of the rude, and overbearing American.... and I'm serious, we have had a number of Brits as greeks here at UofT, and comments like that have started fights at the pub.

Re: Re: Re: Re: rudeness
 

High 5.

-Rudey
--Americans are the best.

OT
 

This drives me absolutely friggin nuts and it is a recent development. The first time someone asked "would you like me to start a dressing room for you?" I just looked at her like she was nuts. Is it some kind of phobia about seeing people with clothing over their arm? Do they think I'm going to stuff a sweater in my underwear? WTF?

Re: OT
 

Sorry, I know I'm continuing to hijack this thread.

I find this happens more to me when I shop in the US than it does here in Canada. I've noticed that as soon as I pick up an item there is a sales person flocking towards me wanting to "serve" me.
Here, they usually wait till my arms are loaded until they offer me a dressing room, but mostly they wait till I ask.

I'm not big on customer service techniques. I think they are crap. But that's just me. I find with all this emphasis on customer service sales people become these monsters from hell. The more agressive you are the less I want to buy from you until I ultimately leave the store. All I ask from sales associates is that they are polite and answer my questions to the best of their ability. I don't need them up my a$$ trying to get me to buy something.

Okay, I think I'm done now.

Re: OT
 

Really? I appreciate it when sales people ask me that - I prefer to have all my hands free when I'm shopping. If they want to take it and put it in the room for me, I'm all for it!

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: rudeness
 

Hi :)
Actually, I think you may have missed the point I made in my initial post. I didn't say that she should actually come out and remind the rude Brit with whom she is interacting that the United States is responsible for the present-day freedoms they enjoy. I basically said that when she is in a situation where she believes she is being insulted because she is an American, she needs to consider the source. If some boob feels that someone's American citizenship makes her a ready target for abuse, despite all that that country owes the US, then said boob is not worth getting upset about. There can be satisfaction from taking the high road sometimes :)

I live just west of the Fort and I'll cosign on that thought. Never in my life have I met such rude people where it wasn't the 'cultural norm' (i.e. "big city folk") and it drives me nuts!!! :mad: Major attitude problemo's in the midwest.