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Hon, please try not to stress too much about it. It sounds like they like you and you like them. Sometimes you just have to make the first move and talk to people. I have to do that, and sometimes I feel awkward at first. Be yourself and be pleasant and relaxed. I think it will work out for you.

Prince Valium can save the day :)

just try to relax and just see what happens. show your charming self and things may well take care of themselves.

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I'm sorry. :(

How old is too old?

Ok, that REALLY SUCKS. But maybe again, it is just because they haven't gotten to know you. Either way, you know you are ok...so they realize it eventually.

Keep being yourself, stay in contact with friends in that chapter, don't close the door on other GLO's at your school.

Amalia,

Don't bring up your age or dwell on it.

If you are asked your age, you should tell the truth...but then go on to the next subject. Don't get hung up on it or ask sisters if it will hurt your chances of receiving a bid. That will make them feel more uncomfortable than your actual age. Saying "Yeah, I'm 25" shouldn't be stated with any more or less gravity than saying "I'm from Butler."

I know it is a hard line to walk but if you come in saying "I know I have a giant huge terrible handicap" - which you really don't - it just makes people want to push you away because they don't know how to deal with it.

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You know, I'm (almost) 24, and I am an alumna. I went back to my chapter for Pref last semester, and while it was beautiful, and I know a lot of the graduating seniors, I can't see myself fitting in with the PMN. These girls are 18 and 19! I have nothing in common with them. I am still in school (law school) so its not like I am in the working world (perhaps its a different story when you are a 25 year old undergraduate)... but I can see why the women wouldn't want to give a bid to an older girl. They're afraid you might drop because you may not have anyting in common with your pledge class. You're older than the seniors! I wouldn't take it personally AT ALL.

im not trying to make you feel bad, but I am around your age and I really think there is a big difference between our age and freshmen/sophomores. They can't drink legally! :)

have you thought about AI?

amalia
 

your feelings were not out of line at that cob event. i would've felt funny too had someone been handed a bid in front of me and there wasn't one for me too. now we etiquettized gcers know that the proper thing would have been to have taken each girl they wanted to bid to a separate room and handed out the bid in private. unfortunately that didn't happen.and i hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive the members for being excited to have new pledges and momentarily forgetting their good manners and their other party guest. i know that it might be hard ,but you just need to shake it off. keep your chin and up and have fun. best wishes to you! lisa

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Personally I would really question why they would lose so many new members and I think that just knowing that might deter me from joining that group. That is extreme.

Dee

You know, I wonder if the handing out of bids "like that" at COB is standard practice.


When I went through COB, one group I visited multiple times started handing out bids one evening. There were only two of us PNMs at that particular event and they pulled each of us aside separately. When it was my turn, I was told very politely that I would not be receiving a bid. In effect, I was told that I was "too old" and that they felt bad because I would be graduating soon. (Amalia, I know how that feels....been there, done that) I was cool with that.


However....


They invited me to stay for the rest of the evening. I stayed because I had been given a ride there and I didn't want to make one of the sisters take me home early. Besides, I understood their decision to not offer me a bid. I walked back over to the group and right then the president made an announcement to everyone that the new member had accepted her bid. I'm the ONLY other PNM there and I didn't get a bid. Since everyone else is a sister, I know they must have voted on me and knew I didn't get a bid. Plus, the announcement made it very clear that I was not included in that congratualtions. So I felt really bad standing there like a big loser while everyone launced into their sorority cheers for the other girl. :(


Even when you understand a decision and are ok with it, that type of situation is sad and embarassing. :(


.....Kelly :)

No. When we had open bid parties we waited till after the party and delivered the bid to the girl at her residence. That is the way everyone else received their bids so it was only fair to do it that way since they didn't get to have a big bid day.

Unless you are giving bids to EVERY rushee at the party, handing them out on the premises is tres tacky. I'm sorry that both of you had to deal with that.

It just seems incredibly rude to give out bids to a couple of girls at a COB party...unless EVERYONE is getting a bid, don't do it. I can imagine why you'd feel awkward in that situation.

Good luck, Amalia17!

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