Coping with the loss of a pet
 

Who has ever lost a pet? How did you grieve? What got you through it?

Last night one of the family dogs died. She was a 13 year old cocker spaniel named Buffy :( Family members are taking it really hard. I was wondering how others cope with the loss of a dear pet .

Re: Coping with the loss of a pet
 

I'm sorry...I guess time solves everything.

-Rudey
--Hope you and your family feel better

We had lots of pets growing up, so i lost a lot of pets.

2 of the hardest were our German Shepards. Max died on Christmas eve in like 88 or 89. We had gone out shopping the day before christmas eve and left him in the back yard. We came home and he had cut his leg on the metal screendoor. Dad took him to the vet and they stabilized him and told us he'd be ok and to come get him in the morning. He went into shock in the middle of the night and passed away.

We got another shepard after we had moved to virginia in 91. Ginny passed away last spring. My dad came home from work and just found her lying on the floor. Me and sis were in college and mom was in South Dakota, so he just took her out in the backyard and buried her himself. I felt so bad and actually cried when my mom told me that.

I'll probably get my own dog this fall when i get back from summer school in Vermillion.

Kitso
KS 361

I lost my English Mastiff last year:( and it was the first time I had to deal with the death of a pet. Luckily we had a lot of pictures of him so I have them up and I kept his collar. I think it helps if you talk about it with other family members. That has helped my family a lot.

my dog bailey passed away last summer and i took it really hard. I think i cried more when she died than when my grandfather passed away two months prior. I knew that she was old and was quite sick at the time and was in a better place.. but that didn't make it any easier. Like Rudey said, time heals all wounds..

but this is what gcers said to me at the time...

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...threadid=36196

i hope it helps like like it helped me.

sheesh, even re-reading that thread made me cry :(

I was only about four years old when my first dog died so I didn't completely grasp the concept at that time.

Our second dog (and first Welshie!) was just shy of 15 when she died...we got Winnie when I was 4 or so and she died a few months after I turned 19. I was completely devastated by that. I was very attached to her. She was very much a member of the family and I cried quite a bit. I still think about her a lot.

I am sorry for your loss. :( It is very tough to lose a pet.

I feel like a family member is gone with Buffy's loss. I felt the same way when our ten year old shih tzu Chelsea died in April of 2001. I still get upset thinking about Chelsea. Our other shih tzu, Hootie, who is 13 as well is also very sick. We think she is sick from being depressed from where she has gone blind.

I had two (mine own) that I loved very dearly. Miss Abigial April (german mix) and Charmin (sheep dog) and I had Abigial from Pre-K and she died in Jan. 2002. I got Charmin a about 5 grade (she was 8 then) and she died about 2 weeks after my Abby did. I still hurt over them and cry on a monthly bases. The best way I can cope is talking about everything that they did.

Christia

It's certainly not easy to part with a special pet. It is especially hard when they've been in your life for so long. My family had to put down our dog Fozzy last March. He was 17 years old and lived such a long, wonderful life. It was super hard for us because he wasn't sick...he was just getting so old. And because pets can't tell you when they're in pain, you have to guess. My pet's experience with "going to sleep" was terrible. TERRIFYING to be exact. I NEVER WANT TO REPEAT THAT AGAIN! It wasn't just loosing my dog...it was what the vets did to him that made it so hard to let go (not to mention that the vet clinic backs up to my apartment building - so I see it every day).

I can't really tell you HOW to deal with the loss. My family sat down together and talked about the good times. We all said one of our most fondest memories of Fozzy.

I will buy stuffed animals (dogs) that look like him to cheer me up. I also made sure to put his pictures out a while after so I'd never forget.

It will be hard for a while - you may even had dreams about your pet. But just know it is for the best.

Here is a poem to help!

Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

I am so sorry for your loss. Pets are indeed members of the family. I love the Rainbow Bridge poem. If my pets aren't going to meet me in heaven, I don't want to go.

I'm going to go hug my kitties now.

pet loss
 

Mary-

I am so sorry for the pain you & your family are going
through :'-( My best advice is to let yourself experience the pain. You will feel awful for a while. It will pass ONLY if you allow yourself to miss your Buffy and hurt for awhile. Don't pick up her dish right now if it comforts you to see it. Don't put her leash away until it feels right to you. Don't let anyone rush you into getting another pet until YOU are over this grief. Stay away from people who just don't understand, to whom a dog is "just a dog." They will never get it.

Losing a beloved pet IS losing a family member... maybe the only one who gave you unconditional love, never criticized you, was always there when you came home, and always had a smile on her face and a kiss for you. You were the center of her world & she worshiped you, all in exchange for a litttle food and a scratch on the head. Pretty good deal!

Remember all that she meant to you and it will heal the heart.

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. :(

I lost all three of my childhood cats within a year. It was really hard on me because except for one I don't really remember life without them. I agree that your pets are family members and their deaths can require much greiving. I still get teary eyed when I think of my kitties... I miss them so much.

What we found surprising when my first cat died, is that another of cats (the mother actually) grieved for her. They had a place they would always sleep together and Kitty (yes yes, originality) would just stay there all the time - just waiting. We had to move her food down there for awhile because she just didn't want to come up - even to eat. She got over it after awhile. Ironically, she was much better when the other cat died, but I think that's because he was mean to Kitty and always bit her.

One of the things I do with my children (school setting) is have them make a book about their pet...the first day they got them, thinks they did with their pet ( walking, feeding, playing, etc), places they took the pet, funny things about their pet (our dog howls every time he hears a siren)....and a picture of where they see their pet the happiest. It seems to help them process things, and they have a special book to remember the pet.
Adults should try this too - there's something very theraputic about crayons, magic markers, paper and silence.

When my childhood dog of 15 years died the summer of my senior year in HS, my mom being the one with the compassionate heart in the family woke me up with, "Get up and get a shovel. Your dog's dead in the backyard. Take care of it before it starts to smell. He better be planted before I come home for lunch. I'm off to work."

At least it gave me something else to discuss in therapy.

I am so sorry Mary! Losing an animal is one of the hardest thing to go through. *hug*

The worst was this past summer. Peaches was a white, spotted with cream cat. My neighbor and best friend owned her, but Peaches was practically mine too. She was an outdoor cat so she always ran across the street to greet me, she totally knew my cars. When I was little she'd come over and we'd sit on the porch and when it got cold I'd give her milk. I really loved this cat and when annoy Katie's parents when I thought it was too cold for Peach to be out b/c I'd call them at midnight and say Peaches is still out do you want me to walk her over? This summer Peaches was 14 and my family and I had gone somewhere for the day and it was raining outside. On the way home I said I hope Peaches is under some cover (Peaches hated the rain!!!!) When we got home it was about 11pm and I didn't see Peaches, but I k new she had to be close b/c she normally hid at our house when it rained. But when I stepped outside I saw her under my car, I called her a few times but she didn't move. She had been rolled by a car, not hit - just rolled, and she went under my car to lay down. It was so hard for me to cope with b/c Peaches didn't deserve to die that way. She deserved to live the rest of her life out in a safe environment. I love, love, love my best friend but I always wanted to adopt Peaches b/c she was too special to be an outdoor cat on a busy street.

The only good part was that somehow Peaches managed to get under my car to get out of the rain. Which I cried and cried about, b/c she hated rain....so at least she wasn't wet. Ahh....:(

I think the best way to cope with this is just to talk about it. I couldn't at the time, but this is the first real time I've gone over it. Sorry its so long! One way I helped though was to donate money to a local shelter and visit shelters or Pet Smart to play and be around the kitties and puppies.

Okay, now I'm going to go hug my kitty!

my heart is with you. hugs...

Wow...our dog had to be put down unexpectedly last night. We made our book tonight with the girls, and it did help some. Still such a difficult thing to experience, such a sense of great loss.

thetalady - your words are so true - she was our "first" baby, and such a member of our family!

I did not have my first dog until I was 15 years old. Three years ago this upcoming August he passed away. He was seven and died of kidney failure. It was so sad to see him suffer and I took care of him day and night if needed...I was the only one who could handle it. When he passed away my family took it so hard. To this day I miss him and I know he is in doggy heaven! The best thing I did to help me get through it was to get another dog...we actually got two puppies. Lily and Arlo helped tremendously...but we will never forget Aladdin.

I know how you feel....just know they are all in a better place.

Find someone else who has gone through the same thing. Hug and cry. They will understand.

Anyone who tells you, "It's just a pet" - kick them in the shins and tell them they suck.

Also, talk to people who knew your pet and discuss your favorite things, the happy stuff.

In time when YOU decide you are ready (not when someone else thinks you are), adopt a new pet from a shelter. You will be doing a good deed by rescuing the new animal and have something to love. Or maybe donate money to a shelter in your pet's name.

Know that you will be fine. Remember you are lucky to have had such a special pet in your life. Some people never get to experience that, how sad! Life is not worth living without LOVE, whether it's from our family, friends, or pets.

Losing a pet is SOOOOO hard. Over the years my family has lost several of our beloved kitties. *sigh* We live in the country and can never turn down a hungry kitty that wanders up! It's always hard.

Funny thing is, I got a hamster last semester...a cute little teddy bear hammie named Penelope. I am so attached to the little thing! Hammies have short life spans, like 2-3 years. I hate that. :( I don't like the thought of losing little Penny. Or am I just really lame? Hammies are SOOOO easy to get attached to though! *sigh* I guess it's all about the love for your pet though, not the size of it.

I had to put my cat down. My Sharlie had been shot once in the eye when he was only 6 months old; it healed, but his pupil went into the hole in the corner of his eye & he was left very cross-eyed. Since this happened when he should have been neutered, he couldn't be, and he was quite a lover - I still see his descendants! He was always being attacked by other cats (because of his blind spot), and I only found out after he died that the neighbors called his "the pirate cat" because the one side of his face was usually scratched.

He was very loving to me, though, sitting on my lap every night I was home, sleeping on my bed, and learning a LOT of tricks for a cat! He "kissed" on command, and could walk on his hind legs.

Anyhow, he developed bladder cancer, and passed blood with his urine as he was becoming incontinent. My mom also had a white sofa at the time - not fun! I started to steel myself, and one morning, it was obvious that it was necessary. Sharlie could barely move, and just looked at me in a painful way. I held him, and he "kissed" me, then put his head down. It was time, he knew it, I knew it, and my family all came over to say goodbye to him. I opened a can of tuna (his favorite treat), and he could only nibble at it - I think more to please me.

When we got to the vet, he pulled out the thick file on Sharlie, and said, "You've done right by this cat." I don't think I could have gone through with it otherwise. We said goodbye, he "kissed" me again, and the next time I saw him, he was gone. I'm typing this through the tears, because I don't think I could ever go through that again, and yet, knowing when to put a pet down is part of the responsibility of having a pet.

My mama's little dog has me wrapped around his little paw, and part of me is terrified by that. I never want to have to make the decision to euthanize again, because no matter what anyone EVER says, the pets you love are members of your family - and nothing less.

My prayers are with you, Dear One. This is a very hard time, and I hope you allow yourself time to grieve.

OMG I am crying so hard right now!

My roommate just lost her dog last night. They had to put Tipper down b/c they found a heart tumor. She was so upset b/c she has had her since she was in the 2nd grade. :(

Wow, that poem "Rainbow Bridge" definitely made me cry -- I'm saving that for future comfort. My beloved dog, who we've had since I was 8, is getting older and older. I know the time is coming when she's going to die, and I dread it. I'll get through it, but it will feel like losing a family member because she IS a family member.
My sympathies go out to you all who have recently lost your own beloved pets.

Untitled:
If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep-
Then you must do what must be done
For this, the last battle can't be won.
You will be sad- I understand
Don't let your grief then stay your hand
For this day, more than all the rest,
Your love and friendship stands the test.
We've had so many happy years
What is to come can hold no fears
You'd not want me to suffer,
So when the time comes, please let me go.
Take me where my needs they'll tend.
Only stay with me until the end.
Hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time, you too will see
It is a kindness you have done to me.
Although my tail, it's last has moved.
All pain and suffering, you have removed.
Don't grieve that it should be you,
Who, has to decide this thing to do.
We've been so close- we two, these wonderful years.
Don't let your heart hold any tears.
I now rest my head and weary eyes
And wait for you at the next sunrise.
Far beyond the skies are blue.
My spirit will always run beside you.
And in your heart you will always love me.

Mary,
A pet is a family member! You have every reason to be hurt, sad, angry, upset, etc. Almost everyone I know has lost a pet and knows how much it hurts. Talk about how you feel, whether it be here on GC or with a friend.

I was miserable when Princess died in November 02. She was my kindergarten graduation gift and (in my not-so-humble opinion) was the most precious puppy ever. It hurt our family so terribly to lose her. I can imagine your family feels the same way now.

Good luck with the healing process. I'll be thinking about you.