sister who wants to deactivate to join another sorority
 

hi, i have a sister who is going to deactivate from the sorority in order to pursue a house of another. i am not sure how to feel, i am very mixed because i want to support her but i also feel very betrayed. how would handle this situation? how woul dyou feel? what would you say?

i thought that was against policy- when you join one house, it is for life. you cant join another or something like that

The facts as I understand them: If she is an initiated sister of a NPC organization, she will not be able to deactivate and pursue another NPC group.

If she is a new member (non-initiate) she may choose to depledge a NPC and pursue membership in another NPC without penalty. I don't have a Green Book handy, but I believe a signed bid card is binding for a calendar year. Therefore, if she pledged last fall, she'd be eligible to pledge another group NEXT fall.

Members of local sororities can pledge and initiate into NPC groups without penalty from the NPC group. For local groups, it would depend on their existing governing documents and policies on how such a decision would be handled.

If she is initiated and wanting to do this, boy, would my feelings be hurt. I'd be the type to tell her, point blank, that it was against Sorority Law to drop out of our sorority to join XYZ (remember, I'm thinking NPC-land here!) If she wasn't, sure, my feelings would be hurt and I'd miss her--heck, I'd probably tell her that AND try to convince her not to do it--but in the end I'd want her to be happy and would still be her friend.

If you are initiated into an NPC organization, you cannot join another NPC organization. And that's that.

However, this is not always the case for local, MC, or regional sororities.

Ack! I posted a minute after you did!

But you are right, a signed bid card is binding for a calendar year:

[from npcwomen.org]

A signed Membership Recruitment Acceptance or a Continuous Open Bidding (COB) Acceptance is binding. If a potential member receives a bid under the preference system, she is ineligible to be pledged to any other NPC fraternity on the same campus for one calendar year. If a potential member does not receive a bid under the preference system, she is eligible for COB. (4)

A woman who has had her pledge broken by an NPC fraternity, or who has broken her pledge to an NPC fraternity, may not be asked to join another NPC fraternity on that campus for one calendar year from the date she was originally pledged. However, she may be repledged by the same NPC fraternity chapter at any time within that calendar year.

Does this rule also apply even though she transferred back to her original campus?

That's how I understand NPC rules, too. I would think that, if this woman were to try to join another NPC sorority, she should seriously consider that they will not take her, because of this clause.

Great minds :)

Now, that's a good question. If she left the school where she pledged and transfers to a new school (regardless whether she attended there before or not) then I believe she would not have to wait out the year. It's only when a girl depledges and wants to join another sorority at the same school would the one year rule come into effect.

Of course, this is only correct if we're talking NPC groups. I'm going to guess--based on various things I've learned on GC mostly--that if this were a NPHC group the odds of her 'deactivating' and joining another NPHC group are slim and none.

Question, is there a "governing body" similar to NPC or NPHC for the multicultural GLOs yet? If there is, then their rules or agreements would apply for the member groups.

A lot of info, but depending on what sorority this girl is a member of probably dictates whether she even CAN disaffiliate (not all sororities allow this, or call it something a lot different) or if she could join another sorority. There probably are a lot of variables involved.

Umm, I know none of the chapters here at Ole Miss would even consider a woman who was a fully initiated member of another sorority and she wanted to join something else. To me that is cheating the system. However, if she pledges somewhere and then depledges, then I know she would have to wait a year from when she depledged...or something like that. Anyway, perhaps sorority life was not meant for her.

From the Panhellenic Compact:

7. When a pledge transfers to another campus, her pledge is broken, and she is eligible to pledge an NPC fraternity on that campus at the earliest opportunity.

If I am a pledge at Clarion in January and transfer to Slippery Rock in February before I'm initiated, I can pledge anything at Slippery Rock as soon as I get there.

However, if I am initiated, I cannot.

even if it werent part of the "rules," you know its a lifetime committment, and if u feel the need to switch orgs, then u obviously didnt research. of course, she could go inactive.

and i seriously doubt NPHC would have it.

p.s. if ur gonna withdraw ffrom an org, then u better have a good reason (what is a good reason?)

Good reasons to leave an orgnization to me is finicial reasons, medical reasons, and sometimes I will go along with the "It's not right for me" because sometimes a lady will join and later find out that a sorority isn't for her and I totally understand that.

Unless the rules have changed, that's not true.

When I was at FSU, I knew a women who joined a sorority when she was a freshman. She left FSU after her freshman year, and attended a community college where she got her AA. She returned to FSU for her junior year, and had a real bad falling out with her sorority. She resigned. A few months later, she joined the colony of another NPC sorority, and she did wear her new letters on campus.

If this was against the rules, it would have been very obvious that an infraction was being flaunted.

The rules have not changed in many years, but it IS true that you cannot be an initiated member of two NPC groups. If this happened the way you say, then it was still against the rules.

You're correct on that assumption.;)

in regards to russellwarshay's post about the girl in 2 sororities:
 

how is something like that prevented from happening?

when a pnm is seeking membership in a sorority, is there a way for the sorority to check with NPC to see if she is or was a member of another NPC sorority (whether at another campus or the same one)?

Russell, unless you're POSITIVE this woman was initiated, you have no proof that this happened...we are around the same age and trust me no one would put up with this crap when I was in school. It's possible the woman never initiated because of grades and of course when she came back to school, her window of opportunity was expired (which is most likely what caused the falling out).

Re: in regards to russellwarshay's post about the girl in 2 sororities:
 

I'm not totally positive, but I believe there IS a way to check this. On recruitment applications, there is usually a question that goes something like "Have you ever been a new member or initiated member of any sorority?" or "Have you ever accepted a bid to any sorority?" Tbe PNM is supposed to disclose school and chapter information here. Some people won't disclose that information, but I'm sure that if there was any reason to doubt what a PNM has written, the college Panhellenic could definitely find out. I mean, there are 26 national offices and that really isn't too many phone calls to make when it has to do with something that's pretty important to the NPC.

I'm sure someone else has a better answer, but that's how I understand it.

I am 100% positive that she was initiated in both, and I've seen her composites. It happened on the same campus. She pledged the first in Fall '84, and I believe that she was initiated early in Spring '85. She joined the second one in Fall '86, and was initiated in Spring '87.

I knew her because she was dating one of my brothers. She told me how she had to turn in her badge from the first one, along with her letters. She kept her pictures.

I would love to see the NPC groups come up with a consolidated database of ALL their membership, complete with social security numbers, DOBs, names of parents etc. Because there is NO fail-proof way of preventing that from happening, unless someone actually sees a sister they knew to be in one house being a sister in another house. Otherwise, there's just no way to check EVERY SINGLE GIRL. Most NPC groups get between 1,000 and 5,000 new members every year. It's not like Phi Sig can just call up Zeta Tau Alpha and start reading names off, and have Zeta Tau Alpha go through ALL their membership records. And then when we're done checking with Zeta Tau Alpha, that we can call up Delta Delta Delta, and Kappa Delta, and Kappa Kappa Gamma, and Alpha Sigma Alpha, and Alpha Chi Omega, and so on and so forth.

It's just not feasible. And I would guess 99% of initiated members in NPC groups KNOW they can't join another, so they know rushing again is wrong - of COURSE they're not going to disclose that they were in another group. And if you're talking to a girl during rush and she says, oh, I transferred from XXX school, you're not going to be thinking, was she in a house there? At least, I wouldn't, because you dont like to think that people would lie. But some people definetly have no problem with that.

I myself have seen it happen - a friend of a friend went through rush at her school, and joined an amazing house. Loved it, but transferred to Syracuse because she wanted to be in the communications program there. No animosity with her old house - they just didnt have a chapter at SU. So she rushed again as a sophomore and joined a completely different house, never deactivated her membership in her old one. Still gets both newsletters.

I do not doubt that this happens - how frequently is anyone's guess. That doesn't mean that she did it with the blessing of either group.

The first group was not happy, and except for a few of her pledge sisters, they would not give her the time of day after this happened. The second group was aware of her former membership in the other.

This is the only such incident of which I am aware.

People do this. I could probably get away with it on this campus except that the GA is my chapter sister. ;) I know of a few ladies who are part of two NPCs. I still maintain that I don't have an objective to you joining one if you transfer and yours isn't there. I don't like the idea of just joining willy-nilly at the same school, though.

I would think that the second house would have known better! Shame on them!

I don't know anything about membership in two npc organizations at once, but just because she's in the composite might not mean she's initiated, my chapter and thus, my new member class had our composite pictures taken b4 initiation, and any one of us could have deactivated and still been in the picture.

On the other hand, she did tell you and you knew her, and it's possible, so . . .

I agree with GeekyPenguin.

One of the chapters on my campus had a girl who had transferred in from another school where she had been in an NPC sorority there. She came to my school and we didn't have that sorority, so she went through rush and joined XYZ on our campus. They all knew she was a member of ABC at the other school, but none of them cared. I guess they just didn't tell their nationals. I don't know.

I would be much more understanding of it happening b/w schools, but would not be tolerant of a girl who switched groups on the same campus, no (after she had been initiated). The only problem is what happens if that group colonizes on that campus one day while she's still there? Which group would she feel the most loyalty to?

I think it would be kind of neat to be initiated into 2 NPC groups...I wonder how many similarities there really are in the meanings of the letters and the rituals, you know?

This happened to us twice - once when my grand little sis depledged 4 days before initiation :( and once the following composite year when a pledge had a family emergency and had to drop out of school entirely. That's the risk you take when you have your composite made before initiation I guess.

I would ask that question whether or not the other group colonized on campus.

Which group is she going to be loyal to as an alumna? I'm guessing not the first one. Or maybe not either one since loyalty doesn't seem to mean much to her.

In my opinion, in the cases sited in this thread, those groups and women should have been turned in, since they were obviously aware of the situation. Or they need a seriously better educational program. I don't think there's any reason for someone to be a member of two NPC's.

But yes, there's really no way to check. You would think honesty would prevail...........

There's really no way to control this from campus to campus, but there is really NO excuse for this to happen on the same campus! Where were the sisters of GLO #1? Why weren't they screaming their heads off? And GLO #2? Why would they trust someone who had so little regard for their previous pledge?

Then, where was the Greek Advisor? Do the words "Bid Card" mean anything on this campus? And the Panhellenic Council?

There are just too many people who dropped the ball on this one!

I know Alpha Phi has all of that information on me. They know my SSN, DOB, name and all that great stuff. I would assume that they report all that information to NPC and they have a database of all initiated women (or even new members). If NPC doesn't have that info or a database, that's crazy.

I was going to say the same thing...we have girls on one of the composites who (in plain view) are wearing their pledge ribbons.

IF this girl was really initiated, the second group is just plain slimy for taking her. I guess they were more concerned about numbers than having decent people in their sorority.

I know you can contact a GLO's headquarters and tell them the name and the school and the year of initiation and they will tell you if you are correct. I did that just this past December 2003 when I wanted to find out if my great-grandmother and my great-aunt were Theta's at Tulane. And yes they were I found out. I am sure if there was a member in question and you knew which GLO you could email that headquarters and get an answer. Obviously, they cannot tell you addresses, phone numbers, DOB, etc because that is private information and since I work for Alumni Affairs at Ole Miss I know we would never give that out over the phone. However, we can verfiy whether or not an alumni graduated from Ole Miss. I also know AOII is great about verifying alumnae for our chapter. We have tons of legacies who go through recruitment each year and since I've been Chapter Adviser we have them checked by headquarters. You'd be surprised that some women do lie about their legacies, or their mothers were new member but never initiated. In a nut shell, I would think you could contact a GLO and ask them. I wouldn't email them 100 new members names because that would be absurd, but maybe one name you needed to check.

I completely agree with this, Honey. It just doesn't make sense. You'd think GLO #1 would be contacting their national office along with GLO #2's nationals about something like that happpening on their campus.

It's one thing to pledge someone who depledged elsewhere. Maybe they weren't happy with their choice, but gave it a try and realized before initiation it wasn't right for whatever reason. But to initiate and then quit to join another sorority at the same school? Wow.

It's unfortunate that people aren't always completely honest in these situations, and I agree, that it occurred at the same campus is unbelieveable. You'd think someone would have stopped it.

And I know it does happen, but I really feel strongly against a woman being a member of two NPC orgs.

I'd like to know how she had the nerve to show her face around Panhellenic.

There are schools where I'm sure people don't care.

We've often talked about how GCers are probably the top 10 percent when it comes to devotion to their organizations. I'm sure that there are many in the remaining 90 percent who just don't know the rules or don't bother to follow them.

maybe so...but if there was a WHOLE CHAPTER full of girls and none of them questioned the other sorority's feelings - let alone the rules - let alone the character of this woman - that's one f'ed up chapter.

While it wouldn't be *too difficult* to find out if someone was a member of another NPC (especially if you knew what school they came from) I'm sure it's not SOP for the HQs of each org. to call each other when the paperwork comes in for the new members ya know ? They'd need a reason to suspect that this woman had been a part of an org. previously. I agree with GP here... I really don't see a problem with a woman rushing if she transfers, as long as she is willing to sever ties with the previous org. (turn in her pin and everything) I mean she would still I assume love the ladies she left.. but for the sake of where to donate time/money as an alum I think it's only fair to really "quit" the first org. I mean in the panhellenic spirit I def. wouldn't TAKE a trasnfer who was a NPC member previously.. but I think it's something Panhellenic should look at... IMO. If this girl is trying to join another NPC on the same campus I really don't think it would work out for her... isn't that a rule they explain on info night at rush ?? NO JOINING TWO HOUSES ?? even someone not THAT familiar with rules should know that one...

Right, but assuming the original chapter knew, they could have reported it to the second chapter's HQ and they didn't. Maybe they didn't want to be tattletales but I think that at least a part of it was that they knew this girl was better off elsewhere and didn't really care if she joined the second sorority.

I assume that you are speaking hypothetically here, since no NPC group has a policy that would allow this.

Here's a question: If a woman has prevously been initiated into a NPC and wants to go NPHC - would you take her?

And vice versa, if a woman is inducted into an NPHC org and then rushes a NPC, would you take her?