Name Change
 

After I got engaged, I decided I would hyphenate my last names. My fiancee has always known about my decision, and said it's my choice but he rather I not do it.

Ladies who are married:
What did you do?

Everyone else:
What would you do, or how do you feel about it?

I am definately going to hyphenate my name I have been me to long and when I get married I will still be me!!!! I don't believe in taking a mans last name in the theory that we are one and I am his wife. There is nothing wrong with it though and most women prefer to change their entire last name. Its what ever floats your boat. As long as love is the main focus who cares what's in a name!

i hypenated for work-- but everything else I just have my hubby's last name

I really don't think he cares either way

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IVY in my HAND-- AKA in my HEART

Belated Congratulations, Soror AKAtude!!

My mother and my aunts, all hyphenated their names, when they got married, but I see three new trends emerging:

1. Not using the hyphen, and just adding it on. For example, Mary Smith Jones.

2. Being "romantic" and just taking his name.

3. HIM adding YOUR last name!! Example, John Smith Jones.

I am not engaged yet, however, I'm starting to like the tradition of taking his last name. When I was younger,I couldn't see myself not having my last name when I got married.

My last name has a lot of history and culture behind it (it's haitian), and I don't want my kids not knowing where they came from. So, my boyfriend and I agreed that our childrens' middle name would be my last name. That works great, because I'll ALWAYS have my last name (in the philosophical sense). Even when I'm married, I'll still be me.... http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

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"I am not yet the author of my life; I am still it's unenlightened protagonist"
---Unknown

[This message has been edited by jali0004 (edited May 08, 2001).]

I'm going to hyphenate my name because my brother is the ONLY male left in our family to carry on our name and if he only has girls or doen't have children at all, our name will die out. I only wish my sister had chosen the same because she now has two beautiful sons who have only her husband's name to carry on. Another take on it, is it's two families coming together in the bond of marriage. Not just his. I think it's great that more women are carrying on their family names.

I would not mind her not changing of hyphnating her name

In fact my future wife will have a name like Mrs. M. Great-Poet.
and I will be Mr. Sphinx Great-Poet

http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

Trying not to be too deep I will say I am giving up my last name. In keeping with the light mood can you image some children walking around with long names and having to fill out those test sheets in grade school. They could be there for hours ;-)
LOL

Fortunately, my last name and his last name only contain four letters each. If we had really long last names, I wouldn't consider it.

Really? So if your names were longer, real long ...you would just do the one name, taking his I suppose?

I was about to tell yall my last name means a lot to me, but I would be lying. I can't wait to join as one and take my man's last name. Obviously this is a SERIOUS MATTER and thus I am in no rush, see I believe in lasting relationships or shall I say MARRIAGE to be exact. I am one for having both our names put on the plot when one of us passes away ... I mentioned this before in the APA forum. This thought, this idea is a long way off but it is the type of long, lasting, loving relationship I want!!

I am definitely hyphenanting (SP?)...
Only because my last name without it my maiden, would not sound right!!!!!

Girl, since I am "everyone else" http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif
I am going to hyphenate my name, why not?

I don't care what he thinks, that's the way it's going to be! LOL

Discogoddess MaidenName HisName: for most "legal and formal" things

Discogoddess HisName: for everything else




[This message has been edited by Discogoddess (edited May 09, 2001).]

I am there with you on the "EVERYONE ELSE".

Now, you know these days you have to direct questions to the appropriate group of people or else all heck breaks loose! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif LOL

aight, we are friends again! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/tongue.gif

you better watch it though, some of us are sensitive about their statuses (is that a word?) LOL @ME!

I am in the minority, because I dropped my maiden name and took my hubby's last name. I just LOOOOOOOVE signing it (am I acting like the newlywed that I am?).

Well I guess I am "Everyone Else" too http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/tongue.gif

I will definitely take my husband's last name. Reasons for doing so are long and drawn out http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif But that's my plan of action...now, just gotta find a man...hmmm http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif

I guess I'm "Everybody else" too http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

I wouldn't change my name at all. The reason being I have an unusal name to start with,so unless I meet a guy that has an interesting last name that sounds good with my first name then I would consider hyphenating or changing

So what does this mean for my children if I don't change my name? Well me and my future husband will have to decide what will best http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

I've been actively considering this lately. Based on my timeline, I don't have much longer left. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

Business\Academia: Keeping my maiden name. I've had it for the past 20 years, I like it, and it's definitely going on in my family.

Formal: I'll probably go as Mrs. Bob So-and-so, especially for matters relating to children and school.

I probably have the most unusual name (names..)..

At work I am Eclipse MaidenName

Legally I am Eclipse HisName-MaidenName (reversed what most people do which confuses the heck out of folks! They want to call him by my maiden name!) My husband is more than cool with me using my maiden name and work and does not have a problem with the hypenation. I did the "reverse" thing because I knew I wanted to to hypenate, but hated the "flow" so I reversed it! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif

Most of our collective friends and family just call me Eclipse HisName

Each one of my names carries a different connotation (sp?) and I embrace them all!! Does this mean I have multiple personalities?!?!? LOL

Any children (when/if) will carry his last name only. I've thought about giving one my maiden name as a middle name.

[This message has been edited by Eclipse (edited May 08, 2001).]

[This message has been edited by Eclipse (edited May 09, 2001).]

I want to hyphenate my name, just because my name is so unusual that no other name sounds "right" with it.

Initially, I dropped my maiden name BUT after 5 years, I changed my mind and now I am a "proud" hyphenating "Wifey"

I am SO glad that someone brought up this topic. I have been waiting so long for a discussion like this.

Currently I am in a situation. My lady and I have been very seriously considering marriage. Now initially she wanted to hyphenate her last name with my last name. I said NO! I will not allow her to "straddle the fence" between my name and hers. In a way, it assumes the worst (read: it sounds like she is "leasing" my name until we get divorced). I said if she was compelled to hyphenate my name, then I would appreciate it if she rather not use my name at all and keep her maiden name as is. I said if her name meant so much to her, I would change my last name to hers (and I am dead serious too--my current last name is so common and plain, I really wouldn't miss it) OTOH, her name is not as plain as mine, but still rather common (hint: it is the last name of one of the actresses on Living Single). BTW, thanks Jali for that trend update; I thought it was just me. But either she adopts my name or I adopt hers or neither of us adopts.--no hyphenation in this family. I would however allow her to "hyphenate" for identification purposes (class and family reunions, etc.)

In my previous marriage, my ex hyphenated her last name with mine, and even though we have been apart over 3 years, the hyphenated name is still in effect (I thought she would have dropped my name after the divorce was final). Since then, I have been a little sensitive about folks "leasing" my name.

Just my $.25

Rain Man

i would not change it...but i would consider hyphenating it...

DROPPING MY NAME. IT is unique but 90% of people mispronounce it which IRKS the heck out of me. They try to make it FRENCH. Ideal08 knows. Anyway, no hyphens or nothing.

Now like ZCHI I am in search of a MAN http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

Interesting

Legally...my name is hyphenated. It appears that way on my social security card, driver's license etc. I kept my maiden name...one because I like it and two because I got married when I was 29 and for business purposes my maiden name was what I was "known" by. I receive mail with my maiden name only, hyphenated name, and with just my married name. When filling out papers etc I NEVER just use my maiden name ... I always use the hyphenated version or just my husband's name.
I guess because I was known by my maiden name for so long..it was hard to drop it.

Soror LadyAKA: Please check your email. I sent you a message.

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I decided to hyphenate my last name when I married as a way to keep my identity, and because I was too lazy to handle important business with the necessary speed.

I have also hyphenated my daughter's last name. My maiden name is very short, 4 letters, my husband's last name has 9. The funny thing is, my daughter can spell my husband's last name, but she can't spell mine to save her life. Everybody in her life addresses her by my husband's last name, but if you ask her, she'll tell you both.

I think it's a personal decision, and I think your husband's feelings should play a part in the decision. Being in agreement (or close to it) when you're married gives favor from GOD.

I thought about hyphenating it, but I just took his last name.

Ain't THAT the truth, Ruth! God told both the man and woman to "leave and cleave". It's more of a mind think that a name thing to me.

No man should feel offended or threatened by a woman wanting to hyphenate her last name. Certainly, a man is still entitled to his opinions.

For the most part, I use my husbands last name. However, I live in a very close-knit community. I grew up here and my family is very well known and respected in our community. Thus, when if I'm sending out a resume, I'll hyphenate my last name because it makes me more recognizable. Likewise, I often do the same in dealing with any social, religous and political organizations for the same reason.

Other than that, I completely use my husband's last name.

I carry my husbands last name and I continue to carry my maiden-name without hyphenating it. My son also carries my maiden name after his middle name. I did it just to be "different" from my other siblings...they call me the Lisa-Bonet of my sisters and brothers...????

Shalom Everybody~

Amen, Sista!


Unless you are going to marry Rain Man who won't "allow" his girl to decided what to do with her name! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif


Anyways I am my father's child and his blood with always be in me veins. I can't help but feel as if I was becoming their property should I change my name. Like it's a big ol' label or something.

"Property of XXX"

I am currently going thru the same discussion with my future husband. Being that I am the only child and my father is deceased I feel obligated to hyphen my last name. My fiance' at first was not to pleased with this but after explaining my reason he is starting to come around. Of course i will drop my middle name b/c I think that is just to much. Now when it comes to children I can't see me hyphenating their names. In spanish and latino families this is custom for the child to take on the mothers maiden name as a middle name but, w/o the hyphen.

I told my fiance' that I planned on hyphenating my name and he said that it made him feel like I was ashamed of having his last name. I tried to explain to him that I am proud of my last name and all those ancestors before me who had/have it and I wasn't about to give it up, lose a part of who I am just because I'm getting married. Then I asked him if it were legal would he drop his last name and take mine? He had no answer.

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"Only passions, great
passions can elevate
the soul to do great things"

--Diderot
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So, would AKAtude Middle Name-Name sound terrible? Personally, I don't want to drop any of my names. Since my names aren't very long to begin with, I was thinking it would be ok. My first name is seven letters, my middle name has five, and my last name has four. My fiance's last name also has four letters. Of course, I would probably just use AKAtude M. Name-Name. I'm just too use to writing my name that way. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

CarmelTreat, I don't know about your state, but in GA when you get married both parties can change their name if they want to. There are no stipulations. If he wanted to talke your name or if both of you want to hypenate it is perfectly O.K.!

That's what I did! One of my friends who did the same thing said that she got tired of writing all of that, but 5 years later I still sign my full name on checks, legal documents, etc. I not tired of it yet!