Related to the 'First Name Basis' Thread
 

Do you think the that "Miss" is an outdated honourific? I don't really see many people use that, other than in pageants and with older, unmarried women (and in alumnae newsletters from my high school). Today, it seems that the more neutral "Ms." is used, in place of "Miss" (most women who ARE "Ms" tend to be unmarried, at least the ones I know). Ladies, what do you prefer? I personally prefer "Miss" on a more formal social basis, but will likely change my mind if I'm not married at, say 40. Professionally, I use "Ms." of course.

I prefer Ms. if necessary. I personally prefer just being called by my first name.

BUT, what I really hate is ma'am.............

I don't mind Mrs too much since it tells me VERY clearly that the person calling doesn't know me and is probably a telemarketer and therefore I can say "I'm sorry you have the wrong number". :D

Ughhh, me too! I'm not from the South, and people up North dont usually use it, but I'll hear it occasionally, and I can't stand it! Im only 23, and I dont feel old enough to be called ma'am!

I also prefer Ms. since I am in a professional field and I feel Miss is a very young term.

i prefer ms. miss sounds like a little girl and i don't like how it looks

I prefer Ms or Miss and don't think I would mind Miss even if I was married. Mrs annoys me because it is ASSUMING that since I am the age I am, I am married...and Ma'am just sounds ugly and makes me agitated.

At our one department store where they are trained to be obnoxiously friendly they have pretty much given up on calling me Honorific + my last name (because it's unusual and some people have a hard time with it) and just use my first name. Seeing as I'm there more than at some of my relatives' houses that's cool with me. :)

Personally, I love "Miss." Maybe it's old-fashioned, but then, in some things, so am I. I just can't stand the way that 'Ms' sounds when spoken... "mizzz." Yuck.

But I certainly have no objections to using it for someone else if that person expresses a preference for it. I just hate it for myself.

I always liked Ms., and especially now that I'm in my late, late, late 30s.
:p

Ma'am makes me look around for my Mother.I also prefer Ms or Miss. However,I think it is very disrespectful for a child to address an adult by his/her first name unless specifically instructed to do so.I help raise my 7 year old neice and she addresses all adults as Mr or Mrs unless she is told to call them by their first names and then it is still Miss Jane or Mr Bob,whatever their name happens to be.As someone who works with children,I find that often,if they know an adults first name,they will approach them,whether they know that particular adult or not.Perhaps a proper title causes a little distance and that isn't always a bad thing.

^5. Thank you for posting this about kids and first names.

Ma'am always makes me think of the Queen.
I'm not sure why.

I go by Ms. I don't mind Miss except when it's followed by a very patronizing tone. Which it is far too often.

Ditto.

Before I married in 2002, I loved Miss. I am from the South and just feel that it is so very feminine. Of course, I also use and am called ma'am all of the time. And at 25, I am not offended by being called ma'am. I just know that person is trying to show the ultimate courtesy. Quite often in my community, parents teach their children to say yes ma'am or yes sir as a matter of instilling manners. Planning NEVER:) to move to the North, I also will be teaching my son to use those terms.

I like Miss. Of course, I would prefer Her Royal Highness. ;)

What bothers me is some forms have eliminated Miss as an option so I am Ms. by default. Ms. used to be such a loaded word when it was first created and now it is very popular.

I love Miss. I hate it when people call me by my last name so Ms. S is not for me. But people like to call me Miss Christia and I love the way it sounds, so lady like and sweet. I don't feel like a little girl, no one every used Miss for me when I was little.

I am proud not to be married, I like poeple knowing that I am not married. Ms. some times gets confusing.

I will get my own classroom with in the next year, and I plan on going by Miss. Moore...unless boyfriend WhiteDaisy get's with it and I get a ring!! :p

I am not a child, so don't call me Miss. I address letters to my 8-year old niece as Miss Niece Munchkin03. It's been my experience that people will call me Miss when they think they are superior to me, not because they think I'm unmarried. When I get married, I won't be changing my name, so professionally I'll be Ms Munchkin03, still.

As for children, I hate hearing "Miss FirstName." Bah! It sounds straight out of the plantation (and I'm NOT with that one!). Either Ms. LastName, or a term of endearment, such as "Aunt FirstName."

Thanks for the reminder about the "straight out of the plantation.";)
I'm cool with Ms. LastName for kids. I am very picky about who can call me Aunt FirstName, however. My line sister's 2-year-old son can call me "Auntie FirstName" any time.:D

Do you mean a child addressing a grown woman as Miss FirstName? Or the child being adddressed as Miss FirstName?

The doormen call the girls (under 18) in the building Miss Jennifer (or whatever the first name is) which I think sounds nice. :)

I think that there are both regional, and generational attitudes about "Miss" and "Ms."

"Miss" sounds very archaic in the North, unless you are talking to much older people. From reading this thread, "Miss" still sounds perfectly acceptable to many Southerners.

A child, or anyone really, addressing an adult female as "Miss Jessica."

The difference between Miss and Ms is certainly regional, although I am a Southerner who prefers Ms. That's probably 'cause the North corrupted me. ;)

I grew up in the North (Wisconsin) and I was brought up to always use honourifics. Generally a girl under 16 to 18 is Miss Firstname. Above that age but not married, Miss Lastname. Married... Mrs. Lastname.

I hate, hate, hate, "Ms." I am very vehement about this. I know it's not as common anymore, but in growing up "Ms." was a near insulting title, and I'm insulted to this day if it's used towards me.

I also will not call someone by his or her firstname (minus honourific) until I've known them a while. Not that I'll go around calling my college friends "Miss Lichter" or anything, but I will avoid using their name until I'm comfortable.

It makes my skin crawl to hear a child address an adult by his or her first name. It seems very disrespectful to me.

Ok I see.

We prefer the term, "assimilated."

http://www.starfleet.it/immagini/images/borg-queen.jpg

Professor Thetanustew
 

I am Southern and I suppose that is why--even though I am an adult--I still address people with Miss, Ms., Mrs., or Mr. before their last names (and I use Ms. unless I know for sure that the person uses Miss or Mrs. instead).

As I am in my mid-thirties, unmarried, and a professional, I use Ms. Thetanustew. Miss Thetanustew makes me feel like I am about six and still wearing my hair in pigtails! Mrs. Thetanustew is my mother because that is how she identifies herself. She was quite happy to go from being Miss Notthetanustew to Mrs. Thetanustew.

I am fortunate, though, that because of my job I can have people call me Professor Thetanustew...and in about six weeks, they can call me Dr. Thetanustew! That should solve ANY title problems.

Even with all the overeducation notwithstanding, I'd highly prefer to Ms. over Miss or Mrs. any day. Whether or not a man is married has nothing to do with how one addresses him. Whether I am married or not has nothing to do with how one should address me, either!

I have no idea why I am so dogmatic about this; none of the other women in my family on either side have ever used anything but Miss or Mrs. . . I suppose it's just one more way that I am the oddball in the group!

My two cents. Keep the change! :)

Someone once told me:

Miss Firstname or just Firstname for a girl under 18
Miss Lastname for an unmarried woman
Mrs. Hislastname for a married woman who had taken her husband's name (even if subsequently widowed or divorced)
Ms. Herlastname for a married woman who had kept her name, or a divorced woman who'd gone back to her maiden name

I disagree. To me, Ms. is a perfectly valid honorific for a woman, married or unmarried... it's "marriage-neutral." I did change my name when I got married, and I go by Ms. Hislastname. I don't mind too much if introduced as Mrs. Hislastname, but I prefer Ms.

When addressing other women, I usually go with Ms. unless she asks otherwise.

It did annoy me when someone introduced me to his 5yo son by my first name. :mad:

Obviously, this is still an intensely personal issue. I've been a Miss, Mrs., and a Ms. I knew that I had arrived in my line of work (geriatric counseling) when I started to be called "Miss Honey" instead of "Honey" or "Ms. LastName"!

And, I address my clients that way - Miss Laura, Miss Murial, etc - unless they tell me otherwise. I've yet to have a complaint from someone who didn't have a form of dementia.

But outside of work, I suppose I prefer Ms. LastName. I really do think that too many children are too casual with adults, and that's one of the reasons that they have problems with authority. Sure, it makes me feel older - but with age comes wisdom.

Ok . . Am I missing something?

don't Ms. and Miss sound the exact same?

And generall i call aldies over 25 miss and under 25 ma'm.

It all just depends on the situation I think. When I was coaching soccer, I was Coach First Name. As a Cub Scout den leader, I am Miss First Name. Most of my daughter's friends call me Mrs. LastName although the one I absolutely adore calls me Mrs. Shannon's Mom. She'll be the one who calls me mom as they get older. She's a sweet girl and very talkative with me and they have been best friends since Kindergarten (in 4th grade now). My kids' babysitters have primarily asked to be called Miss First Name, so that's what they call them. When I worked in adolescent psych in one hospital, we didn't want the kids knowing our last names so it was Miss FirstName. The next one I worked at, they wanted the kind of respect that teachers get so the staff were Mr./Miss/Mrs. Last Name. Then I had to get an unlisted number so they couldn't find me and that was a pain. Then I started telling them to call me Mrs. B (last initial).

It all just depends. I don't think that titles necessarily command respect. I think attitudes determine whether children respect you.

Dee

I think many people today, especially in the north and in larger centres in Canada confuse Ms and Miss. I've seen people online call the Miss American Pageant the "Ms American Pageant", and many of the Ms. Lastname women I know are unmarried. They say that they plan to switch to Mrs. Husbandsname if/when they marry. I also find that more traditional institutions automatically call you "Miss" unless you correct them. All my mailings from high school (and university) come as:

Miss Cynthia LASTNAME'98 (High school) or
Miss Cynthia LASTNAME 2002 (university)

My take on the situation :) ...

Mrs - I have no problem with this and, since I am married, that is how I refer to myself. The children of the other transplanted northerners I am friends with call me "Mrs. ------- "

Miss - Is how I liked to be addressed when I was single. The children of my southern friends call me "Miss Tracy" and I think that's cute :)

Ms. - I really don't like this. I believe this term was coined when I was a pretty young child in the early seventies (correct me if I'm wrong), and I always associate it with the hardcore women's libbers like Gloria Steinem (sp?) and also Bonnie Franklin's annoying character on "One Day at a Time" who insisted on being called "Ms. Romano" Like spandex pants, rainbow sequened tubetops and roller boogie, Ms should have stayed back in the seventies.

Ma'am - Didn't used to like it because it made me feel old. Now I AM old, however, so it doesn't bother me. Plus, being around military installations fairly frequently, you can't really avoid being called ma'am.

I am a "Miss," definitely. "Ms." sounds too rough, which I am not. ;)

Mrs: Does not apply. :)

Ms.: What I prefer.

Miss: Has usually been used by cranky customers to me: "Miss! MISS!" When I was younger, though, we called all our dance teachers Miss Firstname, no matter what their marital status. Same with our day camp counselors. And there are some people I know from the South who call me Miss Rachel from time to time.

Ma'am: Makes me feel old!

My maiden name is long and German and difficult to pronounce, so people avoided it my either just calling me by my first name or the first part of my last name. I hardly ever ran into a situation where people used Miss when talking to me, but when I filled out forms that's what I used.

Now I'm married and I'm Mrs. Hubbyslastname. I prefer Mrs.
(even though I still think of Mrs. Hubbyslastname as my mother-in-law) but again, I haven't run into many situations yet where people use that title when speaking to me.

I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE when people (sales clerks and such) call me M'am ... (especially ones that are obviously my age) I know you don't know my name but call me miss... or even hey you before you call me m'am... ARRRGGHHH my biggest pet peeve !!

I prefer Ms., and I always will -- whether married or single, because I will never change my name and I don't think women should be addressed differently based on their marital status. I figure that men have Mr. and women have Ms.

However, I think that the important thing is to always find out a woman's preference and address her accordingly. I wouldn't want to be addressed as Miss or Mrs., but if that is what someone else prefers, I will always respect her wishes -- even if she prefers Mrs. Hisfirst Hislast, which I absolutely do not understand.

I agree with Valkyrie 100%.

Hmmm, people who don't know me call me Ms. LastName.

My children's friends call me either Miss Christin, Mrs. LastName, or #3Son's Mom (cute little guy, no matter how many times I tell him to call me Miss Christin, it's always #3Son's Mom instead!) I actually prefer Miss Christin coming from the younger set, maybe it's the whole southern thing or maybe it's just me. A few call me by my 1st name, with my permission. My sons use similar terminology with their friend's parents, with similar permission being granted.

No one is called "Aunt" or "Uncle" soandso, other than my eldest son's godparents and actual Aunts and Uncles.

"Miss" has an "s" sound at the end, while "Ms." usually has a "z" sound at the end.

The funny thing is that in many parts of the South, "Mrs." is typically pronounced "Miz," so that it's "Ms." and "Mrs." that sound alike. Every female teacher I ever had growing up was "Miz" so-and-so, (except for the few unclaimed blessings who were "Miss" so-and-so). None ever used "Ms."

As for "ma'am," I readily admit it's a cultural or regional thing, but where I'm from it's just plain good manners for a child to call any adult (including parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles) "ma'am" or "sir." Same thing for an adult speaking to an adult of an older generation, a stranger, a customer, or pretty much anyone else who is not a collegue or friend (regardless of whether they are older, younger, or the same age as you.) It's not an age thing, it's simply a matter of courtesy and respect. You can believe my kids are having "ma'am" and "sir" drummed into their heads.

Ditto.

My thoughts exactly!