Holiday "brag letters"
 

I know it's a little late to post about this, but I didn't think about it earlier since GC was down and all. My family usually gets 2, but this year we only got the one from my stepdad's cousin in DC...but boy, it did not disappoint! I would post it but I don't want anyone to puke, because this is the same guy who last year mentioned exactly how much he made that year (OK, we're all jealous--he doesn't need to rub it in!). Did any of you all get any good ones this year?

We always get several.

The highlight is generally from a former college girlfriend and her husband with whom we are still friends.

He is just a hoot and it is always hilarious. I look forward to it every year.

The one that always makes our family laugh is one from my oldest sister's friend. She's a very nice lady, but kind of considers herself (and her husband and 3 kids) an honorary family member. She invited herself (and her husband and 1 kid) to my middle sister's baby shower last year the day of the shower--which was a 3 hour drive away from where they live!

Her's are classic though. Short, choppy, misspelled sentences going on about each kid, each accomplishment, each mundane detail (one year she went into great detail about her gall bladder surgery) set in about 9-point type, filling up an entire page. It's one of the most painful things I've ever seen a college graduate write! [example: Suzy is 8. Suzy is in 3rd grade. She likes dolls. She got a doll for her birthday. Suzy likes dance. and on and on and on. . .] The lady would definitely benefit from a few sessions with Schoolhouse Rock!

I have the worst brag letter story...

An acquaintance of mine started hers out by telling IN DETAIL about giving childbirth last summer. Now, we all should have quit reading after that little train-wreck, but then she goes on to say how she's pregnant again (complete with details on the actual conception).

Three words...

TOO MUCH INFORMATION

this is a funny thread. . .can you all post the letters. Maybe not that pregnancy one though.

You know you're desperate for attention when you send out holiday brag letters, with family photo to people you haven't talked to in 10 years...

I saw one on my parent's table and it was from someone they hadn't heard from in about that long. It was sorta weird.

Re: Holiday "brag letters"
 

C'mon Dana! After that, you HAVE to post it! I swear on the great DZ pink lycra catsuit that I won't puke! :D

I swear on my azure blue catsuit, I like the Christmas letter! I/We've only received 2 or 3 over the years which were totally obnoxious, but for the most part, it saves the sender a lot of time - if it's thought out well. I know that when my dad passed away, I simply could not write that on every card, so the Christmas letter was a godsend to me!

There is only one way to handle these. After sitting through three videos of friends giving birth, I now say that I will only watch the birth video if I can watch a video of the conception first.

Strangely, no one has taken me up on my offer!

LMAO! That is quite possibly the funniest thing I've heard all morning!

I HATE THESE LETTERS. I begged my mom to let me send a sassy one out this year that said something along the lines of "Our daughter GeekyPenguin had a tough year. Her boyfriend, GPBoy, passed away in May, and the WI state labs are backed up, so she still doesn't know why. The good news is that GeekyPenguin informed us that she wants to get more in touch with her Catholic faith, so she is now attending Marquette University. We are delighted to have her closer to home and to pay $17,000 more a year in tuition than we were before."

What are these letters? is it for people who don't want to buy a box of cards? so sorta like those mass emails: "Hi huys, I'm in france. hope you're having fun?"

-Rudey

I will admit...I send them. But I don't brag, I try to tell it like it is. As in, we bought a new house but it reeks of stinky feet - stuff like that. I try to make them humble and humerous. This is our life, this is what we're up to. Could be better, could be worse.

I agree....the Christmas letter is wonderful, especially when you're like me who feels the need to write personal notes to everyone, and you send out more than 100 cards :eek:

I'll have to remember this for when my friends start having children...I can't imagine why they haven't taken you up on the offer, honey!:cool: :D

My parents recieve one every year from this one family with whom they are friendly with in New Orleans. Anyway, this family (no names to protect their innocence), writes the craziest stuff. This year we got to learn how Matt, who's a junior in highschool, is no longer taking hormone shots to grow because in the past 5 years he's grown 4 inches. Then the mother wrote about how Matt wants to attend a university that has an engineering program even though he is being tutored for math right now.

She then writes about herself and from all those years of carrying her teaching bag on her left shoulder she had to finally get surgery and she is enjoying her new shoulder! She also wrote this, which broke my heart, about her daughter who attends Mercer in GA and how she is a sophomore but she didn't get into a sorority this year for the second time and her two roommates are Chi O's and that is all she really wants to be! I was like, oh my gosh! How rude! Then she wrote that all her husband does besides go to work is play the stock market. It was absolutely the most sappy, dorky, letter alive. I would have been mortified if that was my mother who wrote a letter like that. Oh, one more thing she wrote about how she is singing in the choir at her church.

There was this family who sent us an outrageous one every year. My dad had gone to optometry school with the husband, and his wife wrote these obnoxious letters talking about how great her husband's business was doing, how their kids were these absolutely amazing, talented, smart kids (puke)... we would sit there and make fun of the letters all the time.

Then my sophomore year of college we found out that the husband committed suicide. :( We haven't gotten a letter since. He was a really nice man, his wife was just a bit stuck on herself.

We got one from a friend of mine's mother. She talked about her recent divorce to her husband and how she changed her last name back to her maiden name so that she had no ties to that "lying man". She's not bitter. ;) One of the funniest things I've ever read.

Holiday letters
 

I actually sent one of these letters for the first time this year. I really tried to make it funny while letting people know what we have been up to.... I left out the really sad things, like my grandmother's passing and my surgery; omitted really bragging sounding things, like awards; and opted instead for punches at Mr. Silver's sports fanatic antics. We included a picture. I think they went over very well...Most people found the letter hysterical.
:)
We actually LIKE getting the "braggy" letters. Always interesting seeing how people view themselves...
Silver

I had a friend from grade school who moved to TX. We've stayed in touch, and her family always sends a brag letter to us.

We never thought anything of it, until this girl's mom sent one to us talking about how much they were looking forward to retirement at their little cabin in east texas and what a wonderful year they'd had - THE YEAR MY FATHER DIED.

They had been at the funeral. She should have had the consideration to skip this happy sunny letter about their wonderful life. It would have taken .004 seconds to not put it in our card.

My mom's college friend always sends a nice one with updates on the family, which includes 4 daughters around my age. This year I learned the one who's exactly my age got married. First friend I've known since I was an infant to get married!! It was soo sweet to see her wedding pictures in the letter and about the wedding on their website. Brought tears to my eyes a little ya know?

We have a friend that receives a brag letter from another friend each year-- we all read it, as they are UNREAL!!!!!

Last year she went into details about a colon scoping she had, and then graphic details about her intestine surgery-- and the after effects on her bowels.:eek:

This year the letter told all about her her ex-husband and his new wife. She was very clear that she hates the ex- and how he is destroying the kids lives. She continues on how she would do anything to keep her kids from seeing him, but for the time the courts are making her continue with visitation. We also heard all about the family consoluer they are seeing. Let's just say the ex husband would have some serious ammunition in court with the year's letter.

The things people will tell in a letter-- wow~!!!!

-wendi

This is what we try and do, nothing gushy, just a pleasant update. I do handwrite a little something in the card, too, even if it's just Happy Holidays, but after having to do wedding invitations and thank yous, I was all writing-ed out this year!

I think that little handwritten note is the best. Such a nice personal touch. The friend who sent the letter I mentioned above wrote on the card "We miss seeing you!!" which was so nice since we don't live near each other anymore. Our family use to stop in and visit on car-trips upstate.

My guess is it's all in how you present it. Not all bragging, not too much detail. I'm thinking of last year's that I wrote, and it was something like:

Mr. honeychile & I started the year by getting engaged. Mixed blessing as his dad had just passed away - but he had known that mr. honeychile was about to propose; no date set.

Took the DAR genealogical course; DC post-9/11

Met some online friends.

Went to the Soccer Convention in Dallas.

Roughly 50 hours after I returned, my daddy died suddenly: We're bravely struggling.

My mama got a little bichon to keep her company.

Wonderful wishes to all, etc, etc!


Of course, it's a bit more fleshed out, but that's the idea. As I said before, I simply was incapable of writing, "My daddy died" close to 100 times.

And I stand by my birth video statement!!

We got one from a family friend this year, my mom showed me hers from last year too, it wasn't too bad. I told my mom we should do one, haha.

My mom sends out those letters every year and sometimes I cringe! She usually has an embarassing verb to describe me, such as "blossoming" or "flourishing." The worst part is that she raised me believing that sending out cards with no picture or letter is a waste of time, so I hardly ever sent any out because I thought I could not do it perfectly enough. Thankfully I'm over that now- I try to include a picture if I haven't seen the people in a while but I haven't attempted a letter in a LOOONNNNNGGGGGG time.

My brother writes the funniest ones, though- they rhyme like a Dr. Suess poem or other funny stuff. One year he wrote it like a detective who was investigating their family activities. This year is was written from how the dog views the family. I thought they were all good.

I like reading my friends' letters if they aren't too braggy! I like the basic information. If they are too braggy, you just know something's got to be wrong and they're in denial.

I love these brag letters!!!! My mom always gets a bogus one from a high school friend who moved to Florida. Anyway, this woman tells us all about her jet skis, her husband the doctor, and their lil' boy who plays hockey. Funny, mom found out from another high school friend that the husband got caught selling illegal diet pills.

But the best was from an old friend who is beautifully cynical. So her letter was wonderful for not hearing from them in forever. It wrote something like this

" well, I hope you and your daughter are doing well. I am doing wonderful since I found out that my perfect husband, you know the one in the military with all of those military honors and badges, well, anyway - I found out there was a third partner in the marriage. Also to my great surprise is that the third partner happened to be a beautiful, well-built, 28 year old man. But the divorce has worked out well, since by not taking him to court I have saved money for the lawyers and....he's given me the house! I hope your life has brought all the new joys that mine has! Take care! "

;) She's doing well though! But it was funny to read after we knew she was doing ok and happy with everything.

I sponsor a girl from one of those lesser developed countries through some Save-The-Kids fund . . where out of every dollar I give 90 cents goes to paying administrators or feeding their Spokes People . .. Anyway This was my holiday Letter:

Dear ______

I am so glad to hear you are doing well! I am sorry to hear about the Drought and Famine that your nation is going through. Its been completely hectic here. I was planning a serious party fopra friend of mine and there were so many details.

It took forever to get the pool drained of all the excessive water. And then it rained and rained. I didn';t think the weather was ever going to dry out for the party! Luckily it finally did and everyone had a great time. But the clean-up! My God, the mess was totally out of this world. The sheer volume of food we had to throw away was amazing. It was a mess we had to fight the neighborhood dogs off.

The picture I enclosed is my friends splashing in the pool, in the background you can see the huge stuffed pig oin the buffet table.

Anyway, I hope you continue to do well.

Best,

James

PS. Did you like the comb I sent you?

Several years ago a local columnist encouraged readers to send in holiday "brag letters" that they thought were obnoxious. Sections of the best ones were posted in a column devoted to it. They were classic. Even funnier, this one woman recognized that it was her family letter that was posted there. She wrote a letter to the editor complaining about how people just don't appreciate the effort she put into it and how it wasn't bragging. Yeah right.:rolleyes:

LOL! That's great! I bet some people would have gotten a real kick out of it!