Decorum for the Morning After
 

(How's this for a New Year's Thread?)

I have a, ahem, friend who just did the do with a co-worker. There were supposed to be no strings attached, i.e., as in Carrie and her "luvah" on Sex & The City.... just friends with a little something extra to smile about at work. Well, my friend is appalled that her "luvah" hasn't even called and at work acts like nothing happened.... I know, I mean, my friend knows ;) that no committment means no rules... but shouldn't there be just a little bit of decorum after the deed? What do you all think?

1. What are your thoughts on the above situation?

and

2. What do you think the rules for the morning after should be?

Mine are as follows:

1. The man should call first within ONE day of the deed.
2. There should be some mention that the act occurred ( I enjoyed our time together last night.... I hope we can be with each other again soon.... )

hmmm....
 

if your friend wanted this to be strictly a 'no strings attached' scenario then she should not expect anything from the man. no phone call, no acknowledgement, no nothing. handle your business, say thanks for the evening and be done.

the rules you mentioned, to me classify as the proverbial 'strings'.

Re: hmmm....
 

I agree. There are some questions though. Is this supposed to be an ongoing "affair" or was a one time only thing?

They decided that there would be "no strings attached." If it was to be only for one night, there shouldn't have to be an exchange of pleasantries or anything. What is the point of a call the next day? What is there to be said? "Thank You," "Thanks for the evening," etc. should have been said when they were putting their clothes back on. Anything beyond those moments are the "strings."

Overall, there is a MAJOR problem with having a booty buddy that works with you. Nothing good will come out of that situation.

Ditto
 

I agree with both d1 and RD. Booty calls are just that, booty calls. No conversation is needed before, during, or after.

One of my rules is NO SEX WITH COWORKERS!!!! EVER!!!

By the way, welcome back, Soror!! You've been missed! :)

Re: Ditto
 

or NEIGHBORS!!

ditto again!
 

You can't really expect much from a set-up like that. If she's hurt she better just shake it off and move on!

I think that meeting people at work can RARELY work- when both people dont work directly together, are mature and are never in a position of authority over one another (example: he is in marketing, you are in operations and never the twain do meet for REAL). The fact is that most people really don't have the maturity to carry it off. If she wants kisses and roses after doing the do it sounds like she was one of those!

It seems like she isn't saying what she really wants. If you want some no strings attached nookie, then don't expect anything from him afterward. When there are no strings attached, there are no rules of decorum to follow afterwards. The only thing she should expect is to be treated the way he treats his other co-workers.

I have to agree with everything that has been mentioned. If this was a one time thing with no strings attached, then there's nothing to be said. If the arrangement is for this to be a reoccuring thing, then he or she should have acknowledged the hook up. As for them being co-workers, as they say....you shouldn't eat and $@!t in the same place :)

Acknowledging said "do" = strings.

Just act like nothing happened. If you really want him to pay attention, be slightly less interested in him than you were before the do was done. (Not saying it was you, per say, lol.)

If the do was done with the hopes of a repeat performance, then that is strings. If ya'll both agree to keep doing the do, and acting like nothing was going on, then that should be stated before clothes come off.

Sounds like the friend was hoping more would come from doing the do.. :(

I hate to say it - but if you --er...your friend -- went in with a "no strings attached" agreement, that's exactly what it means. It's always hard to know if feelings will change after the fact, but if that was what your friend agreed on in the beginning, any bad feelings are, unfortunately, her own. :(

For the playaz out dere--A hyperbole
 

You friend has to be like Prince:

"Thank you for the funky time... Call me up when you wanna grind..."

'Cuz when you "nightstand" with folks, you just gotta chalk it up as the exploration of your sexuality and exploits...

'Cuz see a man ain't really gonna take it skeeriously to begin wit... And the fact that they both agreed to have the "no strings" games basically sez that the boy gots otha womens he freaks--he probably gotta girlfriend, fiance and a wife--so to decorum was owt the door when the violin did not have no "strings"...

Your friend needs to under stand that she ought not hate the playa, she ought to hate the game... If she's gonna play, she cain't have a heart. 'Cuz it will get broken...

And she cain't be trippin'--unless she's admitting that the ickd was MMM, MMM good...

And if it was dat hood... And she want the "magic stick" again... Then she best be learning how to "spin"...

That's why they say don't play where you sleep or work in this case. She must want another sample if it was on her mind and bothered her.
"Can you really just take one chip and put the bag down?"

Dayummmmmmmmmmmm Soror! You've been gone a few minutes! Glad to skee you back! Happy New Year! :D

Who will return next? :D :confused: :cool:

Maybe AKAtude?!?!?! :cool:

Re: Ditto
 

I so agree with you and CT4...if I have to see you ALL THE TIME in passing, then it's probably not a good idea to be 'cut-buddies'.

That being said, I broke this rule once...with P-Diddy. He and I worked at the same hospital, but in different departments, so we actually never had to see each other during the day unless we wanted to. Although when we were feuding, he would make it his business to put himself in my path that day. Anyway, I guess this doesn't really apply because we were in an on-again, off-again relationship.

I agree with everything that was said by all the other posters...and LMBO @ AKA_Monet, you have such a way with words! :D :p

Re: Ditto
 

LMAOOOOOOOOOOO! Shucks, you don't even need to know names.... LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO!

yes, indeed! :D (I've been reading too much Zane!)

Re: Re: Ditto
 

LMAO!!!!!!!!! No names?!?!?! LMAO!!!!!!!

Re: Decorum for the Morning After
 

I agree that the rules that you listed seem to imply that there really are strings attached. In my opinion, if they are going to have a no strings attached affair, she (nor he) should expect anything. Just go with the flow. If you hear from the person, you do, if you don't, you don't. No one owes the other anything but respect. It doesn't sound like his behavior was disrespectful so I really don't see anything wrong with it.

Also, I think that the fact that they are both working at the same location may come into play here. He probably wants to be extra careful not to send any cues to anyone.

SC

Re: Re: Decorum for the Morning After
 

He may also have a few other game pieces on the same board.

Re: Decorum for the Morning After
 

1. If it was no strings attached...then it's NO strings attached (and there's no reading between the lines)!!!! No phone calls from him/her.....NOTHING! I've learned my lesson!

2. Sorry to be so blunt, but if it was only about sex to begin with and that was agreed upon by both parties, then that's exactly what it is and nothing more. Don't get your feelings involved...you'll just get hurt in the end by expecting more than there ever was. As my mother said, you never shit where you eat. Been there, done that...and I shall never shit where I eat ever again. Now if it's what you agreed to, but secretly wanted more...then you set yourself up for this. Once again, been there done that. Neither of you owe each other a thing except for respect...nothing more nothing less.

board crash ahead...
 

One of my friends told me that he "does not dip his pen in the company ink."

Words to live by, my friends.