Around the Block Twice
 

Not sure if this has been discussed and I don't feel like searching. la la la la

How many bed partners is too much? If you were dating someone and they told you a number, what number would they have to say in order to make you not interested in the person any longer?

I was discussing this with a friend of mine who had a little too much fun during her college days. :) I mean, the girl probably could've opened the top to a soda bottle with her tongue. She has since calmed down and met a guy a few months ago that she really liked. A conversation about her past came up and she told him her number. She never heard from him again.

I guess my next question is: should you be honest about your number?

I don't think numbers matter, personally i'd rather just not know - at least not in the beginning. I know that a lot of people make mistakes or have too much fun in college. I think once you are an adult that you should be able to make decisions about your sex life with and not be judged for it.

Re: Around the Block Twice
 

More than 4/year, when out of a long term relationship, since she lost her virginity would be a lot, in my opinion. What was her number?

She's 22 and lost her virginity at 17. She's been with 36 guys.

What's her phone number?

Do you realize that there are porn stars who have been with fewer men?

Good Gawd!

bad, bad, bad

:)

Re: Around the Block Twice
 

Well, if you plan on ever having sex with the person....Hell No. I always lie in the begining and tell them around 8 or 9. Later on down the road after I've put some time in a realtionship I let the truth come out. And the turth is....I don't know. I quit counting years ago. U should see the look on some of their faces. But at that point not much surprises the girl and usually I'm met with "I'm glad you told me now rather than earlier. I wouldn't have dated you other wise." I would seriously like to meet your friend, a bottle cap? Jesus, that girl has been given a talent. I don't know why any guy would leave her.

Anyhow, I think after you hit a certain age you shouldn't ask. 9 times out of 10 the response is just going to be a lie. Whether its less to make you look less dirty or if its more to make you seem more experienced, most people think their particular number is not the right one. And the truth is, there is no perfect number. Each person is different. On one hand you have the type of people who are like " I'm staying below 10" and on the other hand you have people like me who say " The more the merrier ". Granted I don't sleep around like that anymore, but I can't see how the hell I would have become as good in bed as I am had I not ran through so much a$$ during college. I seriously make women fall in love with me. I would have loved to have met you're friend back in the day if she was cute. I would so give her a run for her money. I've had the sex talk with my GF. She's a smart girl and I think she's caught on. At the same time I think there's more to her story than what she's let out. She's said she is expereinced.....but intially I could tell she wasn't as much as she made out. Still, I'm not complaining.

I lost mine at 15. Its been at least 4 yrs since I could recall the last number. 36 isnt that bad for living in Florida. Now, if she lived in a place like South Dakota.....thats basically the whole damn town in some parts.

I think a lot of time its a matter of when key information is revealed.

We all have baggage to one degree or another, some more unsettling. So when do you lay your cards down?

Most people don't volunteer negative information in the beginning because they don't want to be automatically eliminated by category.

You know how some poeple have wierd arbitray rules? Like I won't date someone who is/has _______. And they will try and avoid dating those categories. But they will date those people of they already like them . . . Odd eh? So people know that so they don't reveal their cards right away lol.

Society is harsh on women. And its mostly women that seem to uphold and dictate social norms . . whatever that means lol.

Ok I have gotten way off topic.

Its going to be kind of personal on how many partners bothers someone. And there is no good rule of thumb. I know guys that get bothered by anyting over 3. And some over 5. Thats all in the asbstract, as in a random conversation in general.

As far as deception. Look, we all keep secrets. We all shade the truth. The amount of partners you have is your business, its your partners business whether you have a social disease or kids because that might affect them directly.

So feel free to shade that truth as much as you might about your weight :)

If that seems kind of normal for South Florida . . I think I'll move lol.

ITs easy for me to have the Sex Talk being a virgin . . .

ZTANgel . . is she a reall good looking girl?

So James, you're saying that I should lose my virginity now and catch up with girls my age (24), and have like 5 partners? WIth all those diseases out there, and the risk of pregancy, it really isn't such a good idea to sleep around. The girl really should be tested for diseases if she's slept with 36 guys. Girls don't sleep around, not just because of what society dictates, but because we're smart and we don't want to get sick or have babies when we're not ready.

Sweetie, 5 isnt catching up. This isnt the Victorian era. You're a little behind the times.

I completely disagree!

In this age of STDs, deadly or not, I would hardly think it wise to rush out and do the wild thing with every Tom, Dick, and Harry!

My total is very low - and one includes my ex-husband!

It didn't appear that James said anything of the sort, but maybe I'm horrible at reading between the lines. What is "too many" to one potential partner may not be too many to another. It's going to be personal based on what one person brings to the table.

The number of previous partners, in my opinion, isn't AS important--because you should be protecting yourself AND regularly being tested for all sorts of STIs (it's more important for women because many STIs can be confused as cramps or UTIS, and undetected STIs can result in infertility) annually. If she is taking care of herself by practicing safer sex and being tested, I wouldn't worry too much.

Nobody wants a loose girl. Well I guess you do for 5 minutes and then you throw her out of bed and she can act like she didn't get used and she'll feel really pretty because a guy actually slept with her.

-Rudey
--haha feminists!

Bottom line is, when it comes to sexual partners, the double standard is alive and well. I don't think I've ever met a man who wouldn't be frightened off by double digits, let alone 36.

I did date a girl with about that many partners. What's far more important to me is if she'll be faithful, and no number of sexual partners is an accurate indicator of that.

I bet Amtrak could have set up shop down there if she had that many partners.

-Rudey

It was the best sex of my life, and she was not loose, because she was in shape.

I think Keigals would keep the tunnel to tight for a train . . . :)

Dude that's like tearing your muscles and having to train all over again.

-Rudey
--It's never the same again.

And then, of course, there's the "technical virgin."

Let's not get on the virgin thing. The only men who want virgins are those who lack size and/or experience.

Which brings me back to my original point.

What's this girl's phone number?

You've met my first boyfriend, I see.

A few years ago, I had a fling with a guy who had been with 76 women. Now I'm no virgin myself, but that number just gave me the creeps.

(I didn't have sex with him, although we did other things. I just did not like the idea of being #77 of however many...)

No. And I'll leave it at that. ;)

not gorgeous but cute

This is kind of interesting to me. I have a friend who is not what you would call attractive. She has slept with 26 guys THAT WE KNOW OF, and she's 23 and lost her virginity at 18. Several of us asked her what she was going to do if some guy asked her number and all she said was "Why would he care?" I couldn't believe it. I don't think I could handle being with a guy who had been with so many people.

lol...how do you know thats not normal for someone in SoFl? Most of the people I know around that same number, and the ones who wont admit to it...they're just scared to come out and say it. I'm not saying its how everyone is, but if everyone were honest there would be a lot less people getting laid.

If that were true about South Florida, the STD rates would be much higher.

How do you know it is normal for South Florida? While growing up there, I knew of a few people who were like that but the majority...no.

If, as cashmoney implies, the rate of sexual activity approaches, or exceeds, an increase by an order of a magnitude, then there will be metrics to back up his claims. Look up the STD rates. Also, there are probably statistics on abortions as well.

Emily Post actually has a section about the Sex Talk. I'll look at it, and if she has something about the Magic Number, I'll bring it to our discussion.

Dude, you need to email that quote to "The Man Show" and make a bunch of $$$ when they put it on t-shirts.

For those of you that lie (or um, know people that lie or something, since no one is really 'fessing up to whether they do or not) do you lie to EVERYONE or do your friends know your real number or what? I guess this is more directed toward the girls, since the guys wouldn't really need to lie to their buddies.

I don't lie about my number. It's not the first thing I tell people when I meet them (none of this "Hi, I'm Rachel and I've banged x number of guys, who are you?") but if I'm involved with someone and we get to that point, I'll tell the truth. Just like I'd expect anyone I'm with to be truthful about his number.

I had a date with a guy who had slept with 400+ women. I was kind of surprised. I wasn't one of those women by the way.

I'm pretty sure I've said this before, but here it is again:

The number doesn't matter. It's irrelevant. I would never judge someone or think less of her because she was a virgin or had one partner her entire life (although I might be curious as to whether the sex is really bad) and I would hope that people would be respectful of women whose numbers are larger than theirs as well. Apparently I'm living in a dream world, because the double standard continues and women are harshly judged if they are more sexually active than others. I think that's BS.

I prefer not to discuss numbers. It's unfortunate, but often men get insecure when a woman's number is larger than theirs, and I'm sure that some of the harsh judgment our society has for sexually experienced women stems from this. I don't ever lie about my number -- I don't know what it is, so I couldn't. I don't care about my guy's number, either.

The bottom line comes down to this: as long as you protect yourself and stay healthy, I say have fun and enjoy yourself.

I would be more concerned about her having slept with guys in my peer group . . or if I knew she had dated guys I thought of as losers or just unworthy.

Also, I'll often avoid women that have had bad relationships because the guy was bad romantic choice. Why would I waste my time with someone that really doesn't know the difference between good and bad? But thats another thread.

So total number really isn't that important nor am I all that interested . . . again unless the above applies.