rockheads
 

Since there are so many mature minds on this thread, I thought I'd ask a question on relationships. Do any of you out there know any women that(from a man's point of view)are impossible to love? By this I mean, they are too stubborn to have/maintain a lasting relationship with a man.

Hello There Mr. Ape Man,

You gave very little detail on such a loaded topic. Please provide some examples,that is if you are NOT being hypothetical. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif
And I promise you, almost every woman in this forum will respond! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

MY AUNT. She is HARD to love. She is a B**** on WHEELS. who is HARD to love and once you are on her bad side, you are there FOR LIFE. She was married once for less than a year and I cannot imagine living with her that long.

She has been mad at my mom, her sister for officially 8 years now but she told me it goes back to before i was born which means close to 26 years.

That about sums me up.

The Original Ape:

I laughed at the topic "rockheads" which I am assuming to be the name that you give these individuals ... ! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif

On topic however, I know women that have been scarred so deeply that they will not even entertain the thought of a relationship, my aunt for one. But she is a very lovable, attractive and amiable person, she simply won't allow men in her life.

In a way though, it may qualify her as a "rockhead"!

(BTW: Some of these people I know are male rockheads!)

Interesting topic!

Okay, so now I'm a rockhead? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif I wouldn't say I'm *impossible* to love, but it's close. I'm not all that old, but I've been hurt so many times already that everytime somebody gets a little too close to me I just feel the need to turn around and run away. So I do, and who knows how many good men I may have missed out on that way? I just can't stand feeling vulnerable at all, and I know that's something you have to be if you ever plan to truly love... guess I gotta work on it! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/frown.gif

I guess I am a semi rockhead in that I am very selective in who I allow to get close to me.I am a firm believer in if you mess with me once,shame on you.If you do it again,shame on me.
My boss,who is a close friend of mine,is a person who is hard to like sometimes ,let alone love.Her insecurities make her exremely controlling and manipulative.She has lost family,friends and clients over it but unfortunately no matter how much you tell her that she has a problem and to get help,she won't.In her eyes,it is never her fault.It is a shame because she is intelligent and attractive and has a lot to bring to the table but she is missing out.

In my opinion, I thinnk I've met several women who seem to be hard to love. Either they're far to self centered to share anything in a relationship, or just dead set on "I wear the pants in this relationship" mentality. To be partners means just that 50% on each side of the bar, and there's no "I" in "WE" you feel me?

I wouldn't say all that! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

But, I think Sweetest Diva summed it up well for me! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif

I guess I would be a "rockhead," too. Or at least, that's how it seems. *SIGH*

I think I care too much and I *sometimes* nag too much that would make me a rockhead and *sometimes* hard to love!!
When I say I care too much I can almost fall into the category of loving my man as if he were my son (which I don't have) ... I will tell you what to do when, why, where and how - but to me it is out of love but to some it is very bothersome. I guess the caring turns into nagging and it anit pretty I will admit it, but you live and learn and golly gee am I learning! My rockhead must make the soft @$$ I keep falling on http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

My cousin.

And I'm not just talking men not loving her butt, either. She's mean, stubborn, and she thinks the sun doesn't shine until she gets out of bed in the morning.

The worse thing about her, though, is that she thinks that she's the QUEEN of the world, therefore she finds it dificult to acknowledge me, the PRINCESS of the world, as often as she should.


I love her to death, and nobody else better say a word about her, but sometimes I could just slap the Sugar Honey Ice Tea outta her!

Miss. Mocha


(Can you tell that she pissed me off this weekend?)

This sounds like a case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder: characterized by manipulation, grandiosity, and everything else you named about her. I'm not joking, she needs help!!



------------------
*selah*

So we have tried to answer and honestly at that - care to let us in to where you were leading with this? Or as someone mentioned is this hypothetical?

There is a difference between being an independent thinker, and simply stubborn/hard-headed.

Maybe. But maybe we will make the "proper adjustments" and the men we meet will continue to be liars, cheaters, deceivers and heart breakers. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/mad.gif

[DISCLAIMER: This is not the normal attitude of Ideal08. She is normally a chipper, postive person. Today she is bitter.]

I understand that...my question is, what is an independent thinker, and what is stubborn/hardheaded to you? It seems to me that many brothers consider a woman who doesn't take in all he has to say as the gospel truth a "rockhead," as you so...ummm..."interestingly" put it. I'm surprised to see so many sisters on here willingly use that word to describe themselves and others. (??!!)

Using stubborn/hardheaded and woman in the same sentence seems wrong to me. I always think of children when someone says/writes those words...and it seems to fall into that tired stereotype of the neck-poppin', loud-mouthed black woman that seems to be prevelant.

I believe we may share the same definition of an independent thinker-someone that deduces their own answers using fact and little-if any opinion. If they use opinion, it's usually their own.
Stubborn, hard-headed are not synonomous: stubborn can be someone hard to convince; hard-headed is usually someone that can't be convinced-unless by themselves. Are you sure you know no women that suffer these characteristics?

I'm surprised you feel this way! By issuing that blanket, uncompromising statement you have, in essence contradicted yourself. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

I freely acknowledge that possibility as well.

By making "the proper adjustments", you reduce the chances of that reocurring. Make the change for yourself; then you will see it was worth it.

I apologize if I've upset anyone. My purpose was to draw attention to the obscure fact that incredible as it may seem, sometimes the reason for the failure of a relationship is not the deed of the man, but the attitude/behavior of the woman.

[This message has been edited by The Original Ape (edited March 26, 2001).]

HI THERE APE MAN,

Didn't I tell you that you opened up Pandora's Box? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif So.....who is this lovely woman you are making reference to? She must be berry special! Good Luck, Go ahead, marry her don't be SCURRUD (said in Mystikal country grammar)

http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

Soror, regardless of how you feel/felt...let your little LIGHT shine, shine, shine! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

Sista, Sista,

You are trullyl out the park on this one! I did not post this because of some crazy, hard-headed, strong black woman in my life! Once again; I started this conversation to get yall's opinion on rockhead women that destroy their own relationships.

My aunt once told me that it would take a strong man to love me. I guess that would make me a rockhead too. Though for the life of me I can't see it.

Many women feel lonely and discouraged by their past experiences with men. Many of them can't seem to understand that sometimes relationships end because of their attitude(s)/ behavior; and they refuse to acknowledge this-let alone do anything about it. My purpose was to provoke thought on this, and perhaps to persuade some of these ladies to do some soul-searching-much like they'd like the bruthas to. Maybe they may discover their own personal kinks and make the proper adjustments. Then maybe they may find their luck changing when it comes to romance.

Bruh:

I can get with you on the emotional issues thing, but what do you mean about "too stubborn"? In my mind, many brothers assume that because a woman has her own mind is prepared to use it on a daily basis, that she is "stubborn" or "too sassy" or whatever. Of course, I do feel that many times we (as in all people) must go along to get along, but I also don't feel like I should hide the very asset that attracted the brother(s) to me in the first place (outside of the physical), my MIND and its ability to express itself.

I'm reserving judgement on your question until I hear back from you...

[This message has been edited by Discogoddess (edited March 26, 2001).]

Hello Original Ape
(How did you get THAT name?)
Apologies, I didn't mean to step on your toes. Very thought- provoking topic. I thought you were just getting some free advice from us gurlz. No harm done. I myself tend to be a lil' hard to please. It comes from an assortment of past experiences ranging from bad relationships to the vestiges of abandonement issues due to my parents separation at a very early age.
I must say, since my dad and I rekindled our friendship, I am able to appreciate men as people, not as the mysterious opposite sex that you once were. I have come to realize that men often have the same issues, fears, insecurities as women. But lucky for women, it is socially acceptable for us to cry or show our "emotions" as well as our "feelings", but men are not afforded the same luxury....but I digress, I can go on forever....... http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif
But I will stop here.

Huh?????????????????????

Just because I asked you a question, and gave my opinion about your original post, doesn't mean I don't know any women who might fit your definition of "hard to love." I also know that we (women and men) attract to ourselves what we put out, so when our relationships don't go well, time and again, it's best to look at ourselves before pointing the finger. I just don't see how name-calling (rockhead, stubborn, hard-headed, etc.) is the right vehicle to express that opinion.

As you know, name-calling isn't always a bad thing. It can be done benevolently as well. I have female friends who I call "rockheads"; and I do this affectionately-and they know this. I call them that in reference to their m.o. when it comes to men; and also when they show how closed-minded they are. They know how I mean it; and they appreciate our relationship.

Oh yeah; let me be the first to say: Being a Rockhead is irrespective of gender!
I hope that makes some of you feel better.

SweettgaBrown,

Pandora's Box wasn't all that bad http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif



[This message has been edited by The Original Ape (edited March 27, 2001).]

Consider it done.


[This message has been edited by The Original Ape (edited March 27, 2001).]

Head that makes it Hard as a Rock.... Hmmmmm.... Do I like that??? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif Is there such a thing as "ROCK" "HEAD"??? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/tongue.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/cool.gif

Anyhow, the question is really: Is a demanding, high maintenance, highly motivate, highly educated, and never duplicated Lady of Afrikan descent--a Goddess amongst the Universe--not worthy of truly endearing love from her men that may be Gods?? I put some spiritual flava into this head that rocks stuff...

I cain't hep myself... These puns just pop into my mind and I go with it---HEY, that's another one!!! Innuendoes are useful sometimes http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif

[This message has been edited by AKA_Monet (edited March 28, 2001).]

Okaaaaay, you are crackin' me up with the paternalistic lingo today!

Gee, do I get a pass when I call a brotha a triflin' m.f., as long as it's done with affection? Or can I patronizingly pat you on the head while calling you a "rockhead" (that's not the word I'm thinking of), as long as it's done benevolently?

I'm sure your statement would make a lot of white folk who call us out of our name, out of affection, feel much better...

OA, bruh, we're gonna have to agree to disagree on this one, cuz I don't think you can call women names under the guise of trying to get a woman's perspective on your opinion, and expect not be to called on it, however much you meant those names with affection.