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HAVE YALL EVER NOTICED HOW BGLOS..........
I have never posted on this board before. i just come here and read all the forums. i am interested in greek life but I do not quite know which way to go yet. Anyway what I have noticed over the course of time that I have been coming in here and reading questions and responses, is that it seems like everything is privelged information when the bglo greeks respond. I mean I am not trying to be disrespectful but seriously why do yall even bother with a public forum if you can not tell anybody anything or if you do tell them somthing you just tell them to go and do your research. Geez, lighten up some. Yall make a brother scared to even ask a question!
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I can't even begin to talk about how much I have learned about BGLO's on this board!! My school had very few members and they were all part of city chapters.
Anyway, regarding being told this question or that is "priveleged info", here's the impression I have gotten: BGLO membership is something you have to really work for, something very important and they want to weed out those who might only be interested for the step shows, prestige, etc. This includes the preliminary learning about the orgs. Here's an analogy: maybe these days you can go onto the Internet & find everything you need for a research paper in one place, but do you really LEARN as much or does your grade mean as much as it would if you had worked harder, read & learned about your subject from several sources, and had to analyze & organize that information all out of your own head? Also, being able to communicate effectively with people is one of the most important parts of being a member of any organization. Finding out what you need to know and realizing what needs to be kept private is something you need to do personally, not through a computer screen. Especially these days, when one of the MAIN attributes of all GLO's is they take away the increasingly impersonal feel of our society. Am I on the right track? |
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With regards to GLO's vs BGLO's and how and what they deem is secret, public, etc. etc. it is important to understand that they are different, with different standards, histories, traditions etc. so what is ok for one is not necessarily ok for the other, which is also true within each individual greek organization. We must respect each other's differences in how we run our organization and not pass judgement because we do not understand someone else's process. I think that most, i say most, greeks on this board are happy to answer questions if they feel it will not compromise their sorority or fraternity. And its important that non greeks respect our right not to answer questions, which does not always happen, some act as if we own them something and we do not. So i would encourage you to ask questions, but by all means do research if you are truly interested on your campus and in your community and i'm sure you will find it more rewarding then what you will often get from here. I never used the net before and during my search for AKA. I knew i needed to go to the source so i built up my courage and i made it happen. I hope that helps from the mouth of a greek http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif good luck. |
33GIRL, You are on it 1922%!!!
It's not that we claim that everything is privledged info, just to be snooty or to be intimidating--honestly a lot of the questions that have been asked are not meant to be known by the general public!! I think what happens is that GLO's (in my experience) are usually more out in the open with their rushes, bids, and pledgees--and BGLO's are not (which may make us appear a little more uptight). And I understand that this may cause people to have questions about us--which we are more than happy to answer, but only WHEN WE CAN! There are rites/rituals/oaths that are particular to each individual BGLO, and there are also rites/rituals/oaths that we as a family share together. And for any family member to divulge information that is of no one's business but those that have traveled that long journey (and those that are embarking on their's), can be detrimental to OUR history as Black Greeks. When I was in school, I noticed that a lot of non-black fraternities and sororities were trying to imitate some of the things BGLOs were doing (stepping with canes, having line names, numbers, calling each other sands...), and it bothered me cause they didnt understood the true history behind it. They had received a little info here, some there, made up their own inbetween and decided it was cool to do! I dont want anyone to be leery (sp?) about asking us anything, we will always try to answer any questions when we can! We're not trying to be uptight and we definately are not trying to be intimidating, we just want to preserve what is OURS, that's all...... |
I said this in another thread but I feel it is worth repeating:
To the BGLO members reading: If a question is posed you deem inappropriate, DON'T RESPOND!!! By responding you validate the question asked By saying that the answer is priviledged information, you come off as sounding uppity and arrogant. I understand the importance for prospectives to research, but I am irritated at the numerous pompous responses to even the most innocent of questions. I luv all you BGLOs representin out there, but this vibe goin on has gotta stop. I know that BGLO members are taught the importance of discretion. I honestly wonder if they are taught the importance of humility. |
Rain Man:
I think the point of your post is well received however, if you look closer at the original question, it IS in fact aimed at members of BGLOs and besides, I don't think that the responses that were written were disrespectful or put downs in any way. Especially when it appears that a person is misconstruing the purposes behind people's actions. Why shouldn't we feel that we can speak up and defend ourselves? The question WAS valid and I think that is why it was responded to. And on the humility note, I'll exercise it in this case and choose NOT to respond to that one. PEACE [This message has been edited by DELTABRAT (edited July 18, 2000).] |
Okay, Okay son check this out. First of all you're new to this board and you haven't been here long enough to judge how we respond to questions on this board. If you would stick around long enough, sometimes we get interested parties who asked questions of us that they know they would ask a member f2f in a public atmosphere. Like in the Nupe forum, someone asked me and my bruhs what are call was. That's HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE! This forum was set up, like the AKA said, to serve as a place where Greeks can come and talk about issues affecting us all. But we also talk about real world issue outside of the Greek realm. That's why we're here. If you have any question about how to join a certain BGLO, I would tell you here and to your face that you must do research. It's not that we're being rude, but people expect you to give them the keys to your organization without them having to work hard for them. I'm sure the rest of the DIVINE NINE would tell you the same also. I'm sorry if that's not to your liking. So now you know why we have this website, now you know what questions to ask. The expression that "no question is a stupid question", is not true. I'm saying you but a lot of interested people have come up in here and ask for information that they know they're not suppose to be asking. That's my opinion.
------------------ KAPPA ALPHA PSI FRATERNITY, INC. SPR 97 XI LAMBDA |
(Originally posted by DELTABRAT http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif
"...if you look closer at the original question, is IS in fact aimed at members of BGLOs..." On what basis? I'm sorry but I think you read way more into the question than what was asked. I read the question four times over and I do not see how the question was BGLO specific, seeing that no specific racially based GLO was asked. (Originally posted by DELTABRAT) "...I don't think the responses...were disrespectful or putdowns in any way..." I agree with you 100%. However, if you were referring to the BGLO responses, the first response in particular I will say was not a put down, more like a "look down" if you ask me. I think this was a fair assessment given the responses to Prettygyrl from the GLOs from that point on. (Originally posted by DELTABRAT) "The question WAS valid, and I think that is why it was responded to." My point exactly. By responding to an inappropiate post, validates the question, be it right, wrong, or indifferent. I rest my case. (Originally posted by DELTABRAT) "And on the humility note, I'll exercise it in this case and choose NOT to respond to that one" Another one of those Things That Make You Go Hmmmmmm. (in more ways than one). |
(Originally posted by NUPE4LIFE) "..You're new to this board, and you haven't been here long enough to judge how we respond to questions on this board." (Rain Man in his best Art Fleming on Jeopardy voice) Ah, nooooo, no, Nupe4life, I'm sorry, that's not correct. I have been logging on to Greeksource.com since 1997 when it had another format altogether. I have been silently monitoring the posts on this board since Dec. 99, shortly after Greeksource.com got off it's hiatus. I have only RECENTLY been posting responses to such posts. Just kidding with the Art Fleming bit. Lighten up, we all family in here. (Originally posted by NUPE4LIFE) "...someone asked me...what our call was. THAT'S HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE!" I am not disputing that, matter of fact I do know about the culture, norms, and mores of BGLO, having pledged in a quasi-BGLO atmosphere. After eight years, I should know something about discretion. Seriously, N4L, I don't think the issue here is so much whether or not a certain question on Greek Life is deemed appropriate for discussion so much as I see BGLO members questioning the motive for why it is being asked. Ex. Someone asks you why you are called Nupes. Is the motive: Because they hear you shout it in your chants and calls and see it on your 'nalia and is just pure curious to know what "the deal" is? Or is it because they got blackballed after trying to join a chapter and to be vindictive, they need some "inside info" to perp the fraternity. I remember as a 1st semester freshman, I asked a Kappa what was a Phi Nu Pi. He quietly said, "Long story." End of discussion. I never asked again. I got the message. What do you think kind of impression he would leave me about his organization if he responded by giving me a beatdown? He knew my motive was not to perp, so he just responded quietly. Since you don't know the motive, don't be quick to attack. WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO GOOD OLD FASHIONED TACT?! I guess I am saying to BGLOs, if you must respond, please be tactful, not hostile and defensive. You don't know what the true motive of a person asking is, so just give a response, that while they won't know anything more about your org they could otherwise research about, they will know more OF the basic topic of the question asked. |
RainMan:
check out the title of this thread..."Have ya'll ever noticed how BGLOS.... that's basis enough for me. |
Rainman, I'm responding to 2 of your points: 1) who the poster's question was directed towards
2) your statement that telling an interest information is priveledged sounds snotty Quote:
However, Rainman, as we all know, this is a public forum and everyone is entitled to voice their opinions. I agree that there are times when a post does not merit a response because responding would only validate the statement (such as the AKA & Mirrors post). Yet, there are times when an interest may ask questions that they honestly do not know is priviledged information. And in those cases, should we just not respond, or respond nastily? No. Just as there is a civilized way to speak to people, there is also a civilized way to write. I have seen some excellent responses from my fellow Greeks explaining that information is priviledged. On the contrary, I feel that if no one responds to the interest, the silence alone could make them feel discounted. |
As i was reading this I thought I saw my name somewhere.......Anyway Have Noticed, I would suggest that if you have a question for one or all of the Divine Nine then ask it. As long as your are not being downright disrespectful or attacking their orgs. then just ask. If they choose to respond then deal with it on a situational basis. I have asked a few ques. here and there(actually just asked on recently) and the intent behind my ques. are never in a disrespectful taste. If anyone of those org. say it is something for me not to know then I respect that. What i do not like is to be attacked for asking a question that I did not know was inappropriate. Like I said you can deal with that however you want to. For the most part though the members of Bglos will answer your question if they can. I have to agree with Rainman when he says if it is not an appropriate ques. then maybe it should go unanswered unless like Tickled Pink said it is going to be answered in a civilized matter. I have seen some crazy questions posted, yet some of the greeks will give a respectful reply. That to me is the right way to answer anyone. Lord knows some of us (interests) never learn what the wrong thing to say is until we say it. I am glad that not every greek will chastize you for it. So ask do not be afraid or discouraged..............I must disagree with Nupelife because I really do believe that the only question that is a stupid ques is the one that goes unasked. I believe this because who are we to determine anyones questions stupid? Especially if they really did not know the answer, or if they did not know the answer was not for them to know.
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Oops I think I got your username wrong. I put Have Noticed. Well anyway you know who I meant. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif
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Rain Man
Ok, my frat brother NUPE4LIFE, and the lovely sistas on here have responded to your question with what I thought were respectful, and intelligent answers, and I still don't think you get it. So let me sum it up for you and others who may have the same question. If you have wonder to yourself, "should I ask this question?" you probably shouldn't, because you will not get an answer, and while we are not trying to be elitist, we may end up hurting your feelings. I don't think that the Greeks on here are snobbish or mean spirited, but we do get tired of the same old questions that you know we can't and won't answer. Most fraternities and sororities are secret organizations, and we guard our secrets from outsiders. Now this is not to sound elitist or stand offish, but you will never learn our secrets unless you join our organizations, PERIOD. So if you have a particular question of an organization that you are interested in, go to that organizations section, and ask one of the members. But don't get bent out of shape because someone answers you in a way that you may not like. Hell I don't know yawl (oops I digress, I am acting g-etto, and I would not want to called such by my peers) |
Rain Man:
I think everyone in here still has their head attached to their neck. No one's head has been bitten off. I think everyone who has responded to the original post and to yours has used a great amount of tact. They didn't have to be so nice. But I completely understand where you are coming from, and I'm sure that those who responded to your post do too. But you have to try and understand where they as greeks are coming from. Think about it: Why should they answer the same question that was asked in a previous post when all anyone has to do is just scroll down and find the answers from the previous post? What's wrong with them telling people to do "RESEARCH" Usually if a person does they're research they will find everthing they NEED to know. If they don't then I guess they didn't NEED to know. Greeks, correct me if I'm wrong. 1. Most of these questions come from "Interests." 2. To know that you want to be a part of something you would need to know something about it. 3. RESEARCH is necessary in finding out which one of the 9 BGLOs you want to become a member of. Why should anyone tell you the answers when they can easily be found annywhere on the net? 4. No greek is going to serve to anyone what is so close their hearts (anything that they had to work long and hard to earn-their letters, secrets, etc.) on a silver platter. Don't feel upset if people don't answer in the manner that you would like. This is life. How often do you actually get what you want (especially when you're trying to get it from other people). Just my opinion. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif |
this back on forth thing....
i dunno...it doesn't make sense...these boards are for comfort and conversation. it seems to get a little personal... ------------------ "the ORIGINAL soror from the dirtiest part of the south" (cheese grits, hogmahs and fatback) MaMaBuddha Delta Alpha/Epsilon Tau Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Innnnnncorporated. Spring 94 the 24th Diva of Perfection Alpha Phi Omega, Fraternity, Incorporated Alpha Gamma Gamma Fall '98 Order of Eastern Star Prince Hall Affilated Prince Hall #27 |
Rain Man:
Just Noticed said: "...is that it seems like everything is privelged information when the bglo greeks respond. I mean I am not trying to be disrespectful but seriously why do yall even bother with a public forum if you can not tell anybody anything or if you do tell them somthing you just tell them to go and do your research. I Know I see BGLO in that statement and I know I see a "yall" referenced in the statement, which implies that he/she is asking the question of BGLO members. NOT that no one else can answer, but he/she did say "why do y'all bother..." AS far as the first response being a "look down", I think 33girl's response was far from that. I think, she. as a non-BGLO member, was addressing the issue from her standpoint, that of soemone who may or may not be interested. It pleases me thatshe could undertsnad what members mean when we suggest someone to "research." Additionally, in response to prettygyrl's posts, I would suggest treating posts and separate. That post has nothing to do with this one. Perhapsm that was the post that Just Noticed was originally referring, but that was a totally different post altogether. And prettygyrl did NOT specifically address the BGLOs, Just Noticed did. There is also a difference between valid and appropriate. Please understand this. Just as in research there is a difference between validity and reliability. To be valid, simply means that the qiestion is in good form, and will probably produce quality results each time it is asked. However, inappropriateness implies that , although the question IS valid, it probably should be addressed in an alternative way. No one said the question was NOT valid or attempted to In-validate the question. Members simply said INAPPROPRIATE. Finally, because you OBVIOUSLY know nothing about the processed throguh which BGLO members go throguh to be a member, I don't feel it necessary to defend myself as it pertains to humility. You should THINK before posting statement simply for the sake of arguing...it really is unbecoming. |
Rain Man said:
I guess I am saying to BGLOs, if you must respond, please be tactful, not hostile and defensive. You don't know what the true motive of a person asking is, so just give a response, that while they won't know anything more about your org they could otherwise research about, they will know more OF the basic topic of the question asked. That's a good point Rain Man. But, please also understand where many of us a re coming from when we feel that some people are really trying to get us to divuldge information that we feel they should attain on a more personal level. If you cannot, then it is not meant for you to understand, but don;t bash us for taking a stance. Additionally I KNOW that part of the reason some respond the way they do is because we actually WANT people to think about the questions they are asking and the responses that they are seeking. Feel me? Maybe not... PEACE [This message has been edited by DELTABRAT (edited July 19, 2000).] |
(Originally posted by DELTABRAT)
"....because you obviously know NOTHING about the process through which a BGLO member goes through...." Hold up, stop the clock, LONGSHOT!!! *screeching of brakes, sound of loud crash* Advance to Level 6! (It's a "Whew" game show thang). www.geocities.com/~randy_amasia/whew/Longsht2.wav Don't let my non-NPHC affiliation fool you. If you don't know what my process entailed, please do not make below-the-belt assumptions, because IMHO my process rivaled that of ANY BGLO AND I would do it again in a heartbeat! Now with that outta the way... I read your recent post and again, I agree. The general consensus of the BGLO members from what I read basically tells me that there is a form of "etiquette" for prospectives that we as Greeks take for granted as common knowledge based on our own personal experiences, but may not hold true for all prospectives. I appeal to those out in Black Greekdom to write a book on Black Greek etiquette and to make what we know as inappropriate approaches to brothers/sisters asking for info on their respective organization(s). I think Lawrence Ross should be commended for writing The Divine Nine, but I think this needs to go to the next level. I have seen individual webpages from various Black Greeks on how to approach members of the organization (IMHO, The DeltaNet's "So You Want To Be A Delta" is so far the BEST and most comprehensive of them all), but we need to publish something in bound print form, because believe it or not, not everyone is hip to the Internet, or uses it on a grand scale. I'll even kick it off, if yall want me to. Who's with me? Peace and pizzagrease Da Rain Man [This message has been edited by Rain Man (edited July 20, 2000).] [This message has been edited by Rain Man (edited July 20, 2000).] |
Rain Man:
I wasn't going to respond, but I have to...because I am an Internet Junkie...but that's another story. I do not contest the respect and love you had for your intake process, indeed I don't know what it entailed. At the same time, because you don't know what mine entailed or any other members of BGLOs, I feel that your questioning humility was indeed, hitting-below-the-belt. I, in reponse, hit back. I shouldn't have done that, but I did. If you are a man (as the name Rain Man implies), I apologize. Hitting women below the belt doesn't have quite the same *STING* for women as it does a male. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif PEACE PS I would have e-mailed you personally, but..well...you know. |
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I don't think anyone is steered in the wrong direction or should be discouraged when someone says do your research. If you hear something enough times, don't you think there is some merit to it? When I decided to pursue membership in a BGLO I read everything I could get my hands on that had to do with the subject. This means, use your LIBRARY and yes, the Internet. If you can't find out what you need to know by the public route, then it must not be for you to know. It seems like everyone always wants to knock members of BGLOs when they can't find some information. And yes, I have seen those that seem to think they can speak in any disrespectful manner to a member and still expect to find out what they know. All behind the guise of their screenname. Be yourself, be respectful, attend programs and continue doing the things you need to do in order to better yourself as a person...TO ME this is all you need to know. Sorry for the long post guys, but I feel like sometimes people are just afraid of a little hard work. No one said the road that leads to Greekdom would be an easy one. I am not in anyway referring to anyone personally, but speaking in general, because as an interest I've seen this subject pass my way w/o a response too many times. Take Care, Cookee |
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(Originally posted by MandingoNUPE)
"...I still don't think you get it..." I get it perfectly. "...if you have to wonder to yourself 'Should I ask this question, you probably shouldn't'...." As it has became perfectly clear, the appropriateness of a question on Greek life is highly subjective and is largely a judgment call on the person(s) asked, regardless of if the person is a BGLO member or not. Otherwise, Greeksource registration should only be limited to GLO members only, if that is the case. "...we get tired of the same old questions that you know we can't and won't answer..." You should know by now you will always be asked by someone at some point, so you might as well get used to it. Some tactful answers (for those who GOTTA put their $19.XX in) "Long story" "Can't answer that" "Not at liberty to discuss it" Sweet, simple, assertive, to the point. No long spiels about being the elite this and the priviledged that. MandingoNUPE, the rest of your post I responded by saying "No $#!t, I know that already." I think that for prospectives to have to walk on eggshells to inquire about Greek life is silly and ridiculous, especially if the inquirer knows nothing about Greek life at all. All I am appealing to the BGLOs is to be tactful; biting someone's head off is unjustified and unnecessary. |
Rain Man:
You kill me with the beginning of your posts description thingy. I actually find myself trying to visualize what it is you are describing. Anyway, I really think you should listen to yourself speak instead of trying to argue. What blu_theatrics and I am saying is basically what you are saying. Just as we don't know what your process entailed (although you are adamant that it parallels that of a BGLO process...I won't even ask how you know this), you also don't KNOW what our process entailed, so please don't speak on that which you do not know. I hate to sound childish but here goes... "You started it." Yes, you did, with the whole humility comments from jump. You don't know what is learned as it applies to humility, so why speak on it. By the way, blu_theatrics is a Sigma Gamma Rho...see...nevermind. PEACE |
Did Rain Man ever say what Fraternity he was in? I don't recall it. He said he wasn't NPHC-affiliated. From what I understand, he could still be in a BGLO, or any other "non-traditional" (read not NIC or NPC) GLO that would be similar to those NPHC in the way the work, right? Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's the impression that I get.
------------------ Steve Corbin Lambda Chi Alpha Theta Kappa Chapter Rose-Hulman Inst. of Tech. |
Corbin- RainMan is a member of Alpha Phi Omega.
ZetaAce ------------------ A FinerWoman since 1997... |
Rain Man,
One of the things that I was taught, (and kontinue to be taught) is humility. I offer you an olive branch, with the knowledge that I somewhat understand your point, and hope that you can somewhat understand mine. We can agree to disagree on things. MN |
[QUOTE]Originally posted by DELTABRAT:
[B]Rain Man: You kill me with the beginning of your posts description thingy. I actually find myself trying to visualize what it is you are describing. Deltabrat Log on to www.geocities.com/~randy_amasia/whew/index.html You will get the "Whew" homepage. Also, scroll down to the bottom and click on "Whew strategy" for more elaborate info. In any case, your visualization should begin to crystallize (I hope). Don't forget to click on the soundbites, 'cause they're cool. I'm Out [This message has been edited by Rain Man (edited July 20, 2000).] [This message has been edited by Rain Man (edited July 20, 2000).] |
[QUOTE]Originally posted by ManndingoNUPE:
[B]Rain Man, One of the things that I was taught, (and kontinue to be taught) is humility. I offer you an olive branch, with the knowledge that I somewhat understand your point, and hope that you can somewhat understand mine. We can agree to disagree on things. I accept your olive branch, and I couldn't have said it better myself. Keep on representin' and postin' I'm Out |
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*BZZZZ* BLOCK! *trilon (flippy box) reveals a villian's head next to a red octagon with a diagonal slash in the middle* Five second penalty! Unless you PERSONALLY saw me on line for my fraternity, please DO NOT tell me what process I do and do not know. Furthermore, assuming you are in a BGLO, the only process you can speak for is for your own organization and maybe Phi Beta Sigma's, if you are a Zeta. In all fairness, you CANNOT speak for any other GLOs process, simply because you are not a member. Please proceed with another $ amount (Another "Whew" thang) [This message has been edited by Rain Man (edited July 20, 2000).] |
rainman:
I don't understand why you have been attacked on this board in such a condescending manner!! I completely understand what you area trying to say. I am a memeber of a GLO and african american and I am not getting defensive in anyway!! Just ignore the patronizing quotes that ahev been offered to you to help you be a "Better Person" according to those who have written to you on this message board. DPhiE forever baby!!! |
Dphierlove,
Thanx for the support. It's nice to see I'm not alone in my concerns. BTW, please email me (see my profile for address), I would like to know more about how your being a D Phi E was received by NPHC greeks. Much love to you Rain Man |
Okay, so I've been reading this thread, and one thing bothers me. When ManndingoNupe made the comment that a particular question about his call was wrong. First of all there are people on this board who are Greek, and wouldn't know that asking a question like that was disrespectful. I belong to an NPC sorority and we don't have calls. So, if I had seen that or read about that somewhere I would assume it would be okay to post something here, and get a reply.
In NO way would I be trying to offend you. I would be attempting to enlighten myself. I have read so many posts where BGLO members are appreciative of the insight they receive from GLO's. So, If I wanted to know something about a BGLO I would probably post it here. If that info. was privy, then a polite response, not that of anger, would suffice. I love this board for one main reason I learn so much about things I never knew. I think that the intent of the question that started this thread was just to put it out there that not all questions taken in offense are meant to offend. So, maybe trying to educate those who don't know any better would be a better solution than getting p!ssy about things. I have to give thanks to all those who have helped me to get a better understanding of BGLO's as a whole. |
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