Question for guys regarding virginity
 

Guys:

Let's say you're dating a fairly attractive girl who is, say, mid 20s. She tells you that not only is she a virgin (face it, most 20something virgins have done other things), but she hasn't gone past French kissing anyone and has only kissed 5 men in her life. Would you think that she's "too pure"? She is a virgin not because of religious belief, but beause she never really had the opportunity to do it.

I personally might feel bad "corrupting" her...but there's nothing wrong with her not having gone that far. I mean it wouldn't keep me away if otherwise I liked the girl.


-Mark

I know a few girls like that around that age actually. I think it's impressive because they are taking their time and not rushing into doing something they may not be ready to do or handle just yet. But while they may be "pure" so to speak, that doenst take away the fact they are still human, with human erges, and have thought about it numerous times.

Just a different perspective here......

I think its so great when a girl or boy saves themselves. My two friends dated for 3 years and never kissed(they got married last week and that was the first) How sweet =)

Never kissed? OMG. I don't think I can do that!! I can not have sex with someone, but kissing?? Can't do that. Were your friends religious?

Side note: I know a girl who is 23 and has never, ever, ever kissed anyone (other than a peck on the cheek, mostly by relatives). She tells me that she does not intend to, ever.

I mean they went to church but they didnt do it for that reason. They just wanted to make sure they really loved each other and werent in it for lust. They are so great and there wedding was amazing!

I would question the judgement of "attractive" if a friend came up to me and said he knew this great girl that was in her mid twenties and had only kissed a few guys and never had the opportunity to do more . . . .

Sounds like a "nice personality" comment.

yes is kinda odd but its what they wanted to do and they are so in love its really great

I knew a girl in high school who would sometimes shy away from kissing guys just because she didn't want to or she got grossed out for some reason... she herself said she was weird about those things, and this girl was really pretty. But then again, that was high school, she's changed since then and isn't like that anymore.

Taualumna: How long have you been dating her?

ERRRRR I'm a girl and I'm straight. It was just a question.

A virgin? What's that? So I just looked it up. I would comfort her and tell her that virginity is easily curable.

But seriously, I would think that it is weird. If I really loved her, I would be willing to take the time with her, but I would need to know that there are no psychological issues. I would want to make sure that she is able to let her self go when the time is right. It would be terrible to take a girl's virginity and have her detest the experience.

No ur not.

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: Were they REALLY REALLY REALLY religious???

Dionysis, I AM a girl. I'm an AGD. AGDs can't be boys. Maybe I'm the girl in the question, maybe I'm not.

How? Is she asexual? Not trying to be offensive but WOW!!

I think she was lying when she said that. She seems to have her crushes.

I had a classmate who was super super religious and swore she'd never kiss a guy to whom she wasn't married. That's cool. But...she wore the most skanky clothes, teased around and was judgmental of people who didn't share her perspective. It really pissed me off. But I have utmost respect for people who can refrain. Especially in a very sexually-charged society.

Last year........or a few years back I guess it was really...i was watching A wedding Story. A couple was on there, she was still a virgin, he was not, he was one of those born again christians. Anyways they wanted to keep the relationship completely pure and had their first kiss at their wedding..........and folks........as a viewer seeing it........IT SUCKED!! You could tell by the look on her face she didnt like it either! I wonder how the wedding night went if it sucked as bad as the kiss. I couldnt do that.....may sound a bit sweet but......not for me. :)

My roommate my sophomore year of college was one of those that never kissed until she married. She married her boyfriend of seven years after college, and they had their first kiss on their wedding day. They were VERY religious.

At the time I thought it was strange, but I guess as I'm getting older I don't find it so weird. Sexual compatability is important, but intimacy is much MORE important. If you can have intimacy without sex, more power to you. I think many of you will find as you get older that sex really isn't that huge a part of life anymore, and you will find that you're intimate with your partner via a brush of the hand, or a kiss good morning. Perhaps some of these people realize that a little earlier than the majority of us :)

Its kind of fun being that guy that breaks a girl in. You can teach them all sorts of stuff. Before you know it, you'll have a sex crazed slut whos STD free......it doesn't get much better than that.:D

This whole never kissing thing is REALLY taking me by surprise!! To tell the truth, I had only heard of one instance of this in an extremely orthodox (jewish) couple; the brother of one of my friends. I am surprised how many people have interacted with people with this belief. While I think it's AMAZING that anyone can have that much self-control, I know its not for me!

Also, on the whole waiting for marriage thing, while I would love to wait to that point, what happens if you get married, and the guy ummmm how do I say this nicely......well the whole Charlotte and Trey thing on Sex and the City....After seeing that, I knew I wasn't going to wait until marriage!!

Another question about waiting until marriage: What if you're still single at say, age 40? Wouldn't it be weird to be a 40 year old virgin? I know that I wouldn't be able to wait THAT LONG!

i think my sister is going to be that girl that isnt going to kiss a guy until she gets married. she is 20 and has never been with a guy. i am happy that she is taking her time, but sometimes i wonder if she will ever find someone. cause i have never heard her talk about wanting to date someone. she thinks that i am weird cause i have been out with three guys. yeah, that makes me easy:rolleyes: that number is tiny compared to a lot of girls my age

Whoa!! Three guys is alot?? Yea, I feel the same way about my little sister, although she is only 13. She has said repeatedly that she never wants to kiss a boy because "that's gross" I know I didn't feel that way at her age!! Is her behavior normal?

Or what if your new spouse is just...bad?

I just can't imagine spending my wedding night losing my virginity. I can see holding off for a few weeks before--you'll be so excited to be with eachother that the sex would be awesome. But, sex for the first time then? Your expectations are probably so high that someone would probably uh...finish...before things really began.

at 13? yeah i think that is still normal for girls to think that. as for me, i think my sister feels that way cause i didnt go on my first date until i was almost 19.

:confused: Reluctant virgin becomes sex crazed slut wanting nothing more than orgasms?
But isn't that cashmoney, only something that happens in amateurly written porn stories? :)

This thread reminds me of The Tragically Hip song.

"38 years old, and never kissed a girl..."

yeah but he was in prison....


Personally with me I'd have to say it's a case by case basis... i've met a few girls like this, and my ex was one. If they've never "clicked" with any of the guys they've met that's their choice and I have to say I respect it. If their saving themselves for the guy they marry thats also commendable in this day and age... but when you start getting freaky like some of the ultra-Christians on campus: no kissing or holding hands; that is too freaky for me.

Reminds me of an episode of the Opie and Anthony show (anyone else listen to that? may it RIP). I know it was on in most big cities, probably on your alternative rock station. Anyways they had a 40 yr old virgin in one day and they got her a stripper...made for a pretty amusing show, I was driving home from work laughing the whole way.

I was 32 when I was married and a virgin until my wedding night. It was THAT important to me to only be that intimate with my husband and no one else.

Now that you have a real, live person saying this, and not just a hypothetical question, do you still want to call me or anyone else that thinks as I do "weird"?

People choose to be promiscuous and everyone shrugs it off. But when others choose to be chaste they're "weird". Doesn't sound too fair to me.....

--add

I don't think that it is weird. It's a personal choice that worked for you and your husband. :)

LOL...... but after you're finished with her.....its the game called "let's bring out the pyscho". She'll be emotional attached

unless i'm really trying to wife the girl...no, because that's a lot of baggage. plus being the first is strictly an ego thing. it's not like she'll do anything spectacular unless she's been living a double life watching a ton of porn.

Haha, that's so true!!!

It's easy to understand both situations.
LOTS of girls in HS didn't date. Maybe they were very conservative, maybe they just weren't ready. Some girls move faster than they want because of all the pressure and the mindset that "everyone else is doing it".

Then comes college. Many of the guys they meet have higher expectations from their dates than "she" has ever experienced.
Or, she may not meet anyone that makes her feel that desire.
LOT'S of girls don't date steadily in college. If, like many, she is asking friends to accompany her to functions, not having sex is totally understandable-be it for religious or personal preference.

So they graduate. It's a little harder to meet guys and the ones they do are just not appealing. What do you expect them to do?
Just "do it" to get it over with? Now, by this time, I would think they would have experienced at least a "kiss", but if not, so what
UNLESS-they take a stance that it is degrading, sinful, or only see it in a negative light. Same with Sex. If they do not judge others as "going to hell" for THEIR choices, then it doesn't appear to be a problem for them as much as it appears to be a problem for OTHERS. Everyone should be allowed to choose their own moral compass.

A lot of that has to do with how a woman looks also JAM. Men tend to view women on the dating field as a commodity. Its rare that an objectively aesthetically pleasing woman won't have an abundance of dating opportunities . .

That is of course modifed by her hang-ups and maybe her parental controls.