Deb Ball dress question
 

I am going to my local deb ball in NC and was wondering if I could possibly wear a tea length dress. The invite says black tie.

I'm guessing no, but I'll defer to the lovely ladies of the Carolinas.

Never been to the South myself, but the deb balls on the West Coast floor length was appropriate. I am thinking down Carolina way it would be better to have a longer dress than a short one.

AIs it your debut, or are you going as a guest?

I was a deb in South Carolina. Our club rules specify that guests at the ball MUST be in tuxes and floor length gowns or they will not be allowed in. I can't speak for all Carolina balls, but I think you should stick with floor length to be safe. You don't want to be turned away or even worse, if you did get in everyone would tell you how cute you looked and then whisper about you behind your back. Just kidding. Well, not really. ;)

At my sister's ball in north Florida, I definitely wore a long dress. I was only 11 at the time, but still. I think Mommy wore a long dress, and Papa wore a tux (duh).

Go for floor, I think. Although there seem to be a LOT of tea-length dresses in the stores lately.

Floor length-and unless you are also being presented, do NOT wear white...like ayone with a choice would.

Have fun!

Yeah that is what I figured, I just have a gorgeous tea length that I am dying to wear. HOWEVER, this means I get a new dress.

Its one of my family's best friends daughters. I have grown up with her. She is at Penn State, but a deb in Gastonia.

I want to be a debutante, but I'm neither 18 nor rich. I can't wait to see all those cotillions on the news in the next few weeks.

I ADORE tea-length, but it looks like you'll have to save it for another event!

Definitely floor length. At my Deb Ball in Louisiana, it was absolutely floor length gowns and tuxes for men, no questions asked.

Have fun! This year was 5 years since my ball, so its the last year I get invited as a former deb (not like I went past my own anyway, but it was still nice to get the invite)

Have fun! I don't too awfully far from Gastonia... my area doesn't have a local ball, and the North Carolina statewide deb ball is impossible to get into... For me anyway! :) oh well!

What are deb balls?

deb = debutante

what is the point of the balls? I didnt know people still did stuff like that

They do, but I think they're bigger in more monied regions. There's actually still a few in Milwaukee, but they aren't as competitive and overdone (IMO) as the ones down south.

However, I think I would have looooved to be a deb, but I'm sure I wouldn't have been. The whole lacking manners thing probably would have killed me, plus I wasn't much of a girly girl in high school.

I loved getting a special dress and having a fuss made over me. BUt I hated all the parties where I had to force small talk with all the other debs - I had gone to grammar school and high school with these girls and we were always in different circles.

They were so incredibly vacant - an actual quote from my luncheon "OMG! MY ICE CREAM ISN'T COLD" - from one of the girls when she was given a dish of chocolate mousse.

I also hated curtseying.

I don't regret the experience, though.

This is only vaguely related to the original question, but have any of you ever seen a movie called "Metropolitan"? It is a movie that takes place over the span of one Debutante season in New York City. I don't know how realistic it was because that whole concept is another world to me, but it was entertaining and funny!

The movie Metropolitan was pretty realistic from what I remember. In the next few weeks, there will be debutante cotillions and balls galore in Manhattan at hotels like the Plaza and the Waldorf Astoria. You can do a search and read about it.

You know, I was born and raised in Southern California and I've never heard of any Deb balls down here. I do recall hearing about one held by a women's club somewhere in Northern California. Does anyone know if they hold them out here? I'm just wondering if they're not common here or if I've just been left out of the loop my entire life. :)


.....Kelly :)

You are cool in my book. :D Whit Stillman (Last Days of Disco, Barcelona) is one of my all-time favorite film directors. Those three films make up the "Doomed Bourgeois in Love" trilogy. Many of the same characters are in all three films.

SoCal Deb Balls
 

There have to be some deb balls in SoCal because my current roomie/sister had one, and she's from Pasadena, though I really don't know what her club was called...I know it's had Women's in it, like that narrows it down!

I am going to a deb ball sponsored by Sis Munch's sorority over Christmas. I get to have a dress made! :D

Deb Balls are dumb and boring... It is an excuse for drunk Mothers too drink too much and hit on the marshalls. A Pity it is...

Some families don't have deb balls, but "coming of age" teas or luncheons, held by the girl's mother. I have read in the archives of The Toronto Star that a mother held a "coming of age" tea reception in her home for her daughter when she was 17 or 18. Deb balls still exist in Toronto (I do know of one, The Helicon Ball, held in early February of each year. The debs aren't necesarily 18, as it's in the middle of the school year, and many are away at school.), but it isn't all that common. I think I only know of maybe four or five girls who were debs, and I attended one of the oldest girls' private schools in Canada. Big deb balls really aren't that big around here anymore. I do know that a few families hold private parties for their daughters though (such as the girls I mentioned earlier). I would have loved to have been one, but it's "not in my culture" (i.e. Chinese families aren't too familiar with debs. The closest thing to a deb is a child's presentation when he/she is a month old. It's usually some banquet held by the parents and well, the child just sleeps away. After all, the kid IS a month old!)

I'm going to the winter deb ball this weekend! I can't wait!

I would have to say, a floor length gown is a must. I went to a friends cotillion ball here in Texas ( I actually went to about 10 :rolleyes: )...and they would check at the door and I know one of my friends wasnt let in with her knee length dress, and she looked VERY classy. Just think of Gone with the Wind..haha. The South is STILL stuck in the 1940's when it comes to debs.

Some comments from a guy on the subject:
Black tie for us can be paired with a ladies cocktail dress, but if the invitation says "Ball" then this is an evening formal. It does require long dress for you all and really should require White Tie for us. According to the temple dragons, er, senior ladies in my family, tea length is for an afternoon "the' dansant" but cannot be Black tie as it is too early in the afternoon. When my sister did her season in New Orleans she was presented by Le Debut des Jeunnes Filles de la Nouvelle Orleans, The Debutante Club, Bachellors Club, and Mid-Winter Cotillion. All required full evening dress long for the ladies and white tie and tails for us, with the exception of Le Debut which required White Linnen Suits for the men (August in New Orleans is HOT). She was presented as a Court Maid at four Carnival Balls and was Queen of the one of which our mother and our grandmother were Queen as well. All of this called for long evening dress for the ladies and white tie for us. Black tie was less used and generally to receptions given at the Country Club or the Orleans Club, and sometimes the Yacht Club or the Lawn Tennis Club where the family presents the daughter being introduced as an individual honoree. Growing up in St Louis, where Sis also did her season, allbeit a rather less elaborate and structured season, the rules were just about the same but Black tie was more used and you could get away with renting White tie a couple of times a year. In New Orleans my cousins told me it was standard for a guy to get a full tail coat rig as one of his high school graduation presents (if he didn't already own one) because he would have plenty of opportunities to use it throughout college and thereafter. They still have Tea Dances during the season, but for us its going to be white linnen suit, seersucker or cord suit, or blazer and white trousers. Black tie can't be worn before six PM and usually later. White tie should not be worn until after 8 PM.
Any ladies from New Orleans please join in and make sure I have this right but I believe the traditional formula for a 'successful' debut is presentation by at least one but preferably two or more of the major cotillions, a Tea for ladies at the Orleans Club, a family presentation as described above, as many luncheons, cocktail parties, and theme parties honoring the debutante as friends will throw for her, and preferably at least three Carnival honors (Queen or Maid at a Carnival Ball held from Twelvth Night to Mardi Gras) but usually not more than five honors. This limit is occasionally broken but seems a bit over the top.
My sister loved every minute of it, my brother and I had a great time, and the guys at Tulane, Loyola, and LSU turn out in droves. By the way, one thing the guys check out on each other is whether you have a pre-tied bow tie or whether you tie it yourself. Pre tied is gross and begs for a put down.
OK, enough from the guy's perspective.

*BUMP*

My boyfriend and I will be attending a Debutante Ball the day after Thanksgiving - his best friend's new girl is a post-Deb, and invited us. I've tried e-mailing her with questions, and haven't heard back yet, so thought I'd try GC!

My boyfriend said its White Tie. Google searches tells me to wear a floor length gown and gloves. Should the gloves be to the elbow? Above? I'm assuming that since I'm not a deb, wearing white is out of the question. What about other colors? If I were to wear a black gown, could I wear black gloves? Or should they be white?

Also, do you suppose most women will have their hair done, elegant jewelry, etc? I want to fit in, and I definitely don't want to overdo it/spend more money than I need to, but for some reason I keep envisioning a high school prom!

Oh, and its in DC if that helps.

Thanks in advance!!!

^^^
Long gloves, up-do, elegant but understated jewelry, NO WHITE...black is appropriate.

Have a ball

jeeeeeeeeez. All this formal talk and I want to crawl into my jeans.

All of my cousins and I were asked to be debs and we all declined. It just lost popularity by the time we came of age. There still are two of them held in my city, but very few girls come out any more.

In light of the recently passed "National Coming Out Day"....the phrase "come out" just brought different images in my mind... :)

he he he he

I remember how the announcements would read: "Miss Tiffany Holcomb Whitney VanMarkunshtein" escorted by Prince Wolfgang Diefendorf Matterhorn, was presented to society at the 150th Annual Armory Ball last Saturday. During her Coming Out, she wore a floor-length gown in a rainbow of colors... (a little artistic license is allowed)

Well, when I look at old year books from my father's college days, I see terminology that would be taken differently today too. Isn't it fun! I now look at the Gay 90s with a completely different perspective

I know that this is a 4 year old post...but I didn't realize that anyone in Gastonia would even know what a deb was, let alone have one.:p

Since some of these questions weren't answered, I thought I'd offer my opinion. (I was unfortunately a deb. Pretty irritating experience through and through, but when your mom insists, sometimes it's just easier to go along with the charade than put up a fight.)

Yes, the gloves should be to the elbow. If you're wearing black, your gloves can (and some would argue that they should) be black. Definitely don't wear a white dress; I'd go so far as to recommend not wearing a pastel or light-colored dress. If your dress is any color other than black, white gloves are appropriate.

You'd be surprised -- I would think that there would be girls from Gastonia in the Charlotte Guild Debutnate Club's Ball. And there used to be (and for all I know, may still be) a deb ball in Shelby for girls from all around that area. Plus, there often/usually are at least a few Gastonia girls presented at the Terpsichorean Club's NC Debutante Ball in Raleigh (the deb ball in NC).

Thanks SydneyK! You were a huge help :)

You're welcome. :D

I feel the need to add this disclaimer. All deb circles follow similar guidelines. However, there are often small differences between what one circle finds acceptable and what another doesn't. You should probably ask your friend (the post-deb who invited you) whether these suggestions fit within that particular group's guidelines. What might seem like a small difference could be more important than it should be (like, this group might think everyone's gloves should be above the elbow; in my deb circle, only the debs coming out wore gloves above the elbow). Of course, it will ultimately matter only if you plan to continue to socialize with this group. If you won't see any of them again, who cares if Betsy Sue thinks your gloves were, gasp :eek:, two inches too short?

Have fun! Be sure to tell us about it!

I work in social services in Gaston, Lincoln, and Cleveland counties and those girls must be few and far between....what I deal with everyday does not make a deb...:eek:

I could say "well duh"! :D

I'm not saying there are lots of them, but they are there.