The Rashads
 

I just heard this morning somewhere that Ahmad and Phylicia Rashad are getting a divorce. Has anyone else heard this? Can anyone provide a link to a news story for this? Damn, everybody's getting divorced these days. It just goes to show that you never know what goes on behind closed doors.

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KAPPA ALPHA PSI FRATERNITY, INC.
SPR 97
XI LAMBDA

Based on information I "heard" as an undergraduate at Notre Dame (when Ahmad was doing Notre Dame football games on NBC), this breakup has been a loooooooooooooonnnnnnggggg time coming. I have been feeling for my soror ever since I "heard" info that Ahmad was being a naughty boy with our school's cheerleading coach, back in the day. I hope she kind find peace now.

What's this about Patti LaBelle and her long-time hubby? I'm in the dark...

I hope she kan find peace also. Divorces are very hard experiences...
If she kan't find Peace, she kan find me.
All she needs in some good ol' Bobby Earl in her life. After that, she'll be right back in the swing of things....

1st Phylicia Rashad
2nd The chick from Love and Basketball

Then all I need is Pam Grier to make the circle complete.

http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/mad.gif I was juuuuuuuuuust saying Phylicia and Ahmad/Debbie and Norm held on. DAMN DAMN DAMN!!! I really liked them as a couple but it's true, it's true (in the words of Kurt Angle), no one knows what really happens in a relationship but the actual participants.

Leave it to Bobby Earl to scope out prospects.

Professor:

I'm not assuming it was something the man did; I guess I'm saying the news didn't surprise me, given what I knew about Ahmad's past infidelity with someone known to me back in the day. Of course, that instance of infidelity probably isn't what broke up the marriage, but I def. wouldn't rule out cheating as a possibility. Personally, I wondered why it took so long, in this particular case.

This is kinda related to this thread...

On a serious note, this is something I want to know. Why is it nowadays cheating isn't a good enough reason for seperation or divorce.

I know so many couples, old and young, that go on everyday knowing that there spouse has or still is cheating. I know there are a lot of things at stake when you decide to end a marriage, but betrayal is just TOO DAMN MUCH.
What's the deal? Couples just take it in stride now. When I am married, I WON'T cheat. Plain and damn simple. No ifs ands or buts about it. If my wife cheats, THAT'S a RAP.

Bring out the New Edition cd, because THIS IS THE END!

[This message has been edited by Bobby Earl (edited February 19, 2001).]

Soror, where have you been? They have been splitsville for almost a year OR MORE!

Dayum, I am shocked #$itless about The Rashads... http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif

I heard this morning that Pepa and Treach are supposedly splitsville, too...

What happened to until death do us part? and all that YA-YA?

What's really going on?

I knew something was up when I noticed that he wasn't wearing his wedding ring also. It was reported on the news here that Phylicia filed for divorce not under the usual of those "irreconcilable differences" but she filed under " abandonment" http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/frown.gif


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Peace
KL

HEAR HEAR!!! Bobby Earl!! I will be out the door faster than fast can be if my husband cheats. Cheating to me says that I AM NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU!! There are a lot of people who put up with cheating but I am not strong enough to continue to question a person every time they come in late or don't call,etc.

My question is HAS ANMERICA TOTALLY LOST ALL OF ITS MORALS!!??

(in the words of the Rock...) Oh, yeah, it's true. Follow this link.
http://www.nydailynews.com/2001-02-1...sh/a-99885.asp

I'm very sorry to hear of this. First Patti Labelle and her dear Armstead, and now Phylicia and Ahmad.

(I'm feeling like I'm about to pull a Florida Evans up in here)


[This message has been edited by nikki25 (edited February 19, 2001).]

DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/frown.gif

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KAPPA ALPHA PSI FRATERNITY, INC.
SPR 97
XI LAMBDA

[This message has been edited by NUPE4LIFE (edited February 19, 2001).]

[This message has been edited by NUPE4LIFE (edited February 19, 2001).]

I knew something was up. I was watching the NBA's Team Up celebration during all-star weekend and noticed he wasn't wearing his wedding band.

One normally cheats because need are being met. Now we must keep in mind that there are couples who prefer to remain married and have a little something on the side. I know many couples that are in love but still find it refreshing the seek the comforts of someone other than his or her spouse. For example, I am often told that chic on the side listens to my boy's problems or my female associates suggest that their husbands don't spend time with them. I'm not suggesting couples can't be in love and still cheat only that often needs go unmet which result in cheating

Professor,

I don't know if you are a proponent of this 'reasoning' or not; however, I find it to be a thinly veiled excuse for WEAKNESS!
I am not verbally beating up on you. I am really tired of hearing that as an excuse. No, your not cheating because your needs aren't being met. First of all, you're cheating because you are incomplete as a person and second you're cheating because you are incredibly selfish.
I have personally experienced cheating within a MARRIAGE. From that experience and from observing others, the "my needs aren't being met and that's why I'm cheating" is just another example of the mission statement for today's society. INSTANT GRATIFICATION!!! If I can't get it here, someone else will provide it over there. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif

What ever happened to working through our problems and seeing if a solution can be found. After we've BOTH honestly given it a try, then perhaps we should cease and desist. After dissolving that relationship, maybe, I can then entertain introducing someone else into my life.

Cheating will only bring further trauma to a situation that's fragile.

Professor, this is in no way an attack upon you but that whole philosophy of my needs aren't being met so I'm gonna find someown else who can meet them. Talk about cake and eating it too!

But dem's just my two pennies.


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"Unless you know the road you've come down, you cannot know where you are going"
~Temme proverb, Sierre Leone~

[This message has been edited by jazbri (edited February 20, 2001).]

PREACH, jazbri, PREACH!!!!

Soror AKA2D, I guess I haven't been keeping up my 'scription to Sister2Sister or something! I had no idea about Patti and her man...oh well, things aren't always what they seem, huh?

Well, maybe then these married people should act like adults. Meaning if their needs are not being met, then here's something new: DISCUSS IT WITH ONE ANOTHER!!! That is the problem with people today. Everyone wants what they want when they want it. No one wants to have to put in any effort for anything. If someone is worth marrying, then shouldn't they be worth working for? If the answer is no, then how about don't get married then. Just come and go with different people every rip as you please.

What is going on in the world today http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/frown.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/mad.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/confused.gif !!!

This makes a sister not want to ever get married with people out there that think the way Professor stated.

Whew!!

Don't know if I want to jump in this one. I might catch slug. For real, BE, you hit it right on the nose bra. If I find out she is cheating, then yeah it is over.

That's just like saying, I am not good enough for you. My thing is, before it even gets to that point, somewhere someone should start communicating that their needs are not being met. Sometimes it's not even about sex, it's about communication.

I can't speak on it, becuase I have never been married. But when I do get married, I am trying to do it one time. If we got issues, we work them out together.

Me and a friend of mine were talking about this very subject a week ago, he cheats on his wife, and she has found out. I was like, what if she cheated on you. "Ahh man I would this and I would that!!" But I was like you cheat, so what is your point. "Well you know as a man!" I couldn't even finish the convo cuase his reasoning was way off.

While I will be the first to say that we really have no right to judge folks, and if a couple decide to stay together then that is on them. I know that I wouldn't.

MN

Good Afternoon My Brothers and Sisters,

Like many of you I am saddened to learn of new divorces and also find it disheartening that many couples find it more and more difficult to maintain monogamous relationships. As a single Brother, but happily dating, I would be devastated to learn my lady is having an affair. While these are my personal views, I have come to understand what works for me does not necessarily work for the masses. Professionally I listen to a number of challenges faced by singles and couples. In this regard I believe that many clients make personal choices at times based on immediate gratification and at other times because they want to cling to relationships that are no longer productive in many regards. Nonetheless, I don't believe these choices accurately represent the morality of the person. I believe good people can also make bad choices or perhaps choices that I should characterize as those I don't value.






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"The World Belongs to Those Who Care Deeply,
Who Dream Broadly, and Who Work Steadfastly."

It is so true that we never really know what is going in a marriage. Some folks put up a good front. I'm getting married soon and only intend to do it once. People just aren't communicating and like DST Love said no one seems to be willing to put in the effort these days. A marriage takes work.

I will share a story with y'all though. A relative of mine came home and discovered her husband had been cheating on her in their home while she working her second job on the weekends. Although they dated for five years, they had only been married two months!
Everyone in the family said it was the ultimate betrayal but we kept quiet. She tried to make things work, but he just wouldn't do right. After she decided to file for a divorce a year later, the gentleman who served as the best man at their wedding came to her and asked for forgiveness. He was feeling guilty because he knew before they got married that her husband was cheating and didn't say anything.

Now, the ex-husband realizes what he had and lost. Now, he wants to talk. Now, he is willing to do whatever it takes. Even if they managed to stay together, she could no longer trust him because in her mind she would always relive that scene in her head. Fortunately, she has moved on with her life and carries no excessive baggage from the relationship.

I'm sorry for the long post, but Bobby Earl I'm with you on this one. I would never cheat on my husband. I don't intend for my marriage to ever get to that point, but if it does I would find it very hard to stand by my man after that. It would take some serious talking, therapy, couseling, reflecting, whatever to get through it.

Well, that's true to an extent. However, making a bad decision is one thing but when one continues to do that thing and justify it at that, to me, it is no longer a bad decision, but it becomes a lifestyle choice. And most importantly, it becomes an indication of one's character, values and beliefs. And that's my opinion.



[This message has been edited by DST Love (edited February 20, 2001).]

Soror, I sure hope his azz had 3 dayum jobs if she was working 2... http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif That was the FIRST mistake!

I guess he didn't since he had ole girl up in their place! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif

I try to keep up with the celeb gossip, and I heard that Patti left her hubby for Keith Sweat.

you have GOT TO BE kidding! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif

Crimson Tide4: Ya got that right! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

Keith Sweat?!?!?! I'm ROTFL! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif

I guess Keith must have put that beggin a$$ voice on her combined with a good ol' pelvic http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif move that only Keith can do so well.

I asked Keith about Patti and he told me " I wanna". http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

Keith BAAaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh Sweat? Well I heard something different. I heard that she found out that her husband ah started playing on the other team.

He didn't like to play with the catchers mit anymore, he traded it in for a "bat & ball". If you get my drift.

MN

awwwwwwwwwww nawwwwwww, say it ain't so! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif

he's tutti fruitti? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/confused.gif

LMAO LMAO LMAO!!! Soror, I'm so glad I'm not the only one!!! That is some funny mess right there!! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

I have a few comments on this topic. One, I'm with jazbri. Later for that "someone didn't get their needs met" crap. If you (not anyone in particular, ya see, just the general you) are not happy, then STEP. Evidently you are happy enough to try and stay in the relationship and cover your a$$. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif If you want to stay, then you need to talk. If you don't want to talk, then WALK. And that whole "boys will be boys" garbage, later for that, too. I am so tired of women making 'excuses' for some of these men, and them making 'excuses' for themselves. Men cheat, they are being men. Women cheat... yall know how it goes. Whatever.

On another note, I have a question. In this thread, we have been discussing marriage, primarily. What about just plain old relationships? I mean, aren't relationships the prequels to marriage? Should you work any less hard at salvaging a relationship as opposed to a marriage? (This is not a rhetorical question.)

I would never cheat. I'd just as soon say good-bye than hurt someone I supposedly care about. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/frown.gif It's not worth it. I could never knowingly make a decision that I know is going to hurt someone I love. Never. And what's worse, it's karma. Everything you throw out in the universe comes back to you. I'm straight on that.

My mama always said, (and I only recently found that it's in the Bible) "What you do in the dark will ALWAYS come to light."

Just my .08 . . .

ManndingoNUPE
Senior Member posted February 20, 2001 04:57 PM
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Keith BAAaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh Sweat? Well I heard something different. I heard that she found out that her husband ah started playing on the other team.
He didn't like to play with the catchers mit anymore, he traded it in for a "bat & ball". If you get my drift.

MN

Ohhh http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif ,

he's tryin to be the NEW and IMPROVED Superbowl MVP,

"Gay http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif " Lewis

Or better yet, the NBA Hall of Famer,

Earl the "Girl http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif " Monroe



[This message has been edited by Bobby Earl (edited February 20, 2001).]

LOL!!! yall got me dyin' over here! And I needed to laugh today!! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

BE, you need to quit with the "I wanna." LOL!

I'm sure I did not read this properly (LOL)

Damn, Damn, Damn,

Let me just put it out here. I cheated! Yep, me - but it was several years ago. I just found myself attracted to another lady. When had a thing for a while and then I decided I wanted to be single (please keep in mind I was only 21). I'm not proud of my action but hell this type of thing happens to many people. I'm not saying my needs were not met. I'm just saying I was suduced by her beauty and and and - well you know what I mean.

I am SOOO GLAD someone in Greekchat brought that point up. I remember something a local, yet well-known bishop had to say on that scripture.

His analogy involved cockroaches. If you know, they always come out when it's dark. But when you hit the lights, they all go scattering b/c they have been discovered.

Now they got some BOLD ROACHES, THAT DON'T RUN!!!! They are here to let you know, "I OWN THIS HOUSE!!

But I (the Bishop) learned that some roaches don't change when they see the light. They change when they FEEL THE HEAT!! If you don't believe me, light up a roaches' behind, and see if they don't run!!!

In short, it isn't always the discovery or disclosure of sin that creates change. Sometimes it's the heat and pressure coming from the sin that does the job.

Just my 25 cents.

RM

Well, I agree with everything you stated. And as far as a relationship, I feel one should put just as much effort into it as a marriage, to an extent. Of course that's if you really think you will or could marry that person. I know my boyfriend and I put a lot of effort into our relationship but it's all fun. We definitely are each other's best friends. We watch and attend sports event together, spend hours on end talking about life, careers, and what we expect from marriage, family, children, etc., experience new activities together and so on and so on. And most importantly we always ask each other if there is anything we can do to make the other happier (if we're not already, which we are http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif ) or if there's something we're not doing that we should be doing. The funny thing is we've been together for soooooo long (don't ask http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif ) but I promise it never gets old. A relationship is like anything in life: it's what you make it. If it's worth having, than it's worth working for.

Not too long ago, one of the DJs here made the comment that...

...we always think the grass is GREENER on the OTHER SIDE, but when you get there....you only find WEEDS!

stop the madness http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif

ROFLMAO...I needed that laugh. Thanks.