Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
 

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL: Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

HANS BLIX: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.

MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq ambassador): The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.

RALPH NADER: The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH: I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

DR. SEUSS:

Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!

DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was an historical inevitability.

VOLTAIRE: I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.

CAPTAIN KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

Oh my goodness! That is the funniest thing I have read in a very long time. Thank you for posting! :cool:

Re: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
 

LOL

The chicken crossed the road because firemen wear red suspenders.

Ok, that was stupid.

That first post is seriously funny!

BRITNEY SPEARS: The chicken crossing the road wasn't my idea, honest!! The chicken just mentioned that it would like to cross the road and it was really into it. I can't believe people are making such a big deal of it. It was just a chicken crossing a road.

CHARLTON HESTON: The chicken crossed the road, and its our right as God-fearing American citizens to hunt him down and shoot him.

Kitso
KS 361

HE HE...Very funny

Funny and Cute!!!

http://www.computerpannen.com/cwm/ot...xxrotflmao.gif

George Tenant: I wouldn't say the chicken was an al Queda member, but we have some fairly solid information that puts the chicken in Niger and negotiating to buy uranium.

Bill Clinton:
 

I did not have sexual relations with the chicken...

These are great!

Stupid Chicken saw a Hot Squirll across the other side and wanted to play spank the monkey!:)

Oh, this did not sound like the Mouse Ka Teers of Sex did it?:confused:

Re: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
 

sing this to the tune of 'imagine'. hilarious!!

CHRISTINA AGUILERA: I just think that the chicken needed to cross the road. Because by staying on one side of the road, he wasnt being true to himself. If it was a cat crossing the road, no one would say anything. But because it is a chicken, people have to say something negative. They are just uncomfortable that a chicken is comfortable with their individuality.

Ernest Hemingway:
To die. In the rain.

LOL I love this thread. I got it as an email a while ago but I lost it :( so now I'm really happy someone got it and posted it. :)

the chicken was looking for weapons of mass destruction and barely missed finding jessica lynch.
silly chicken.

Me in 4th Grade: The chicken crossed the road to get away from Colonel Sanders.

Any of the 9 major Democratic Presidential Candidates - I have no clue why the chicken crossed the road and no idea how to get her back to her own side or even how to keep her there if she does decide to go back. I do believe that this wayward chicken's behavior must be the fault of the current administration. I promise you one thing; if I'm elected, I will raise taxes on road crossing chickens and regulate every other activity that chickens may enjoy.

50cent: I love Chicken like a Fat Kid Love Cake.

I feel like chicken tonight, like chicken tonight.

Hillary Clinton: To get away from the vast right wing conspiracy that was out to destroy my husband's legacy.

... had to bump this before it fell off the page...

hilarious!

Donald Rumsfeld, Secretary of Defense...

"I've alerted the 82nd Airborne Division Ready Regiment at Ft. Bragg to be prepared for movement to keep those chickens on their side of the road, and deal decisively with those who try to cross..."


Tom Ridge, Director of Homeland Security...

"This is a clear threat to the United States mainland, so I'm moving to Condition Orange, and invoking the Patriot Act to keep any orange chickens on their own side of the road..."


Eduardo Aguirre, Director of USCIS...

"We will apprehend, interrogate and deport any undocumented chicken we find trying to cross the line to our side of the road. But the road is long, and we only have a small number of agents, so some will certainly sneak through our ever expanding net..."


Unidentified Southwest US Union Representative...

"Those damned illegal alien birds are taking away the jobs of American chickens...:"


Hans Blix, UN Arms Inspector...

"We can find no conclusive evidence after 22 years of inspections, during which we had little cooperation from the Rooster in charge that these chickens possess any wepons of mass destruction. We need more time...


George Tenent, Director of Central Intelligence...

"What chickens?"


George W. Bush...

"Eat more (Texas) beef...

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