cute...or psycho...???
 

Ok Greekchatters....big question for ya'll...

But first, some background info:
I'm dating this new guy and he isn't exactly the romantic type. However, I promised myself the next time I would sleep with a guy (sorry, probably too much info but it's important for my question) it would involve rose petals on the bed, candles lit, music playing, etc.....I know that isn't something he would come up with on his own, but it's always something that I wanted to happen.

So, here's the big question.....

Do you think it's psycho if I have him go out of his room to get me something and then scatter rose petals on the bed......I don't want to scare him so I need advice from you all, especially the guys: rose petals or no rose petals?

that's psycho.

No guy wants to be told how to make his romantic move. If you want to freak him out and never see him again, that will do it.

I don't think it is psycho, but I sure hope it's worth the effort you're putting into it! :)

I have to agree here, assuming this is still a "new" relationship..........it may work and ya may have sex cuz afterall he's a guy and not many will give up free sex, but it'll msot likely freak him out and like she said, you wont hear from him again.

There's about a 90% chance of this happening.





If it's the 10% . . . do you really want to date the dude anyway? Think about that noise.

If he can't come up with the idea himself, skip it for now. Maybe he'll get a clue what you want as the relationship grows.

holy cow, putting rose pedals on the bed is the gayest thing ive ever heard in my life.

i thought that type of stuff only happened in the movies.

it's semi-psycho. girl, what are you settling for a guy who is not up to par in the romance department for you?

Oh God, I'm glad i asked for opinions because now I am thinking big fat N-O to the rose petals.....We've been good friends for five years (we just recently started dating) so he knows that I'm a big sucker for the romantic mushy stuff and I'm sure that he would think it was just me being all drama-queenish...he's used to it. I just don't want him to feel like he has to live up to these sky high expectations so maybe I'll just pass on the roses and settle for some kisses instead. Thanks guys.

Yeah to what Hootie said. And besides, if he's known you for quite some time and knows ur into the romance stuff then he'll probably figure things out on his own. If not then you could probably throw in hints or just tell him offhandedly about what would so work for you and maybe he'll pick it up.

Gee... I hope my girlfriend never expected something like that.

She'd end up being disappointed. I'd never think of that on my own.

Rose petals? Watching lots of American Beauty lately?

Save that until you guys have been together for a while. He might get a little freaked out about something like that. It's a cute idea but a guy will probably bolt.

bananas.....that's saved for that special person.

Maybe next time you guys watch a romantic movie that has some scenes like that, you could say "I'd love it if something like that happened to me..." and then snuggle up to him. That way the idea's in his head...boys pick up on clues a lot! :p

You must know smarter boys than i do, lol.

Or this is true if by clue you mean spelling it out detail by detail.

Where the heck have YOU been hiding?:p


Oh, to answer your question...basically, what Hootie said. Honestly, if I couldn't talk to him about my likes/dislikes/fantasies, I would have to think twice about sleeping with him...but that's just moi. Don't set yourself up for disappointment! Good Luck.

And me, too. If you can't talk about it, you shouldn't be having it.

You shouldn't be sleeping with him in the first place. Especially if you do not know how he will react. That signifies that you do not know him well. Certainly not well enough to sleep with him. Use your head... It isn't romantic if you put the rose petals down. You might as well be alone. He won't like it. Whay is that romantic if you do it? It is a serious question. Why is it romantic? I am not being mean, I am curious. If HE layed them down for you it would be romantic, but not if you do it. As far as I am concerned, it would be like saying, "I won't sleep wit him until he sends me flowers", and then sending them to yourself... I don't understand your POV. I am just trying to help... I am sure he really likes you and cares for you, but Rose petals are the farthest thing from any guys mind, so don't feel bad if your boyfriends don't go out and get them.

Hellooooo, morality police! I think she should be sleeping with whomever she darn well pleases and doesn't need any of our approval.

yeah... great point. was i talking to you? She was the one that expressed her concern about sleeping with people that were not special. If you want to be the town whore, I could care less. She expressed ethical concern. Relax. I was wondering why she thought it was romantic. Thanks

Re: cute...or psycho...???
 

2 Words.

Norman Mailer.

Kitso
KS 361 times you could substitue Ed Gein or Hannibal Lecter if you wanted

It's an open forum. Just like you are free to give advice that not too many people will follow, she is free to tell you she thinks it stinks. I personally didn't read an ethical question, just a question about whether her behavior was weird or not.

But have fun with the judging.

see, i've sent you the IM's and someone's too good to get at someone back.

As a guy I wouldn't consider it psycho, just strange.

So we are making out and you send me for a glass of water and when I come back . . . voila . . . there are rose petals everywhere.

If you are going to do that why not just straight out use a seduction scene?

Invite him over for food and have the room pretreated with candles and rose petals.

But, it still looks odd in my mind's eye.

WHOA WHOA WHOA Hold on here... She asked for GUYS opinions especially, I was giving her my opinion. What is with the judging comment? She asked for opinions... If the board is so open, how come I get flamed by all of you. What the heck? Why are you all so mad? What is going on? I was asking a fair question. I wanted a fair answer. Maybe she wasn't looking at it from that perspective, and it would help. My point, was that I think sleeping w/ someone is a big deal, you may not... thats fine. To me, her opening remarks made it look like she thought along the same lines as myself, (that sleeping with someone is a big deal). Everytime I try to ask a serious question, a bunch of women come in and flame me out of the thread. It is so damn stupid. I guess I will go back and talk to ILOVEKIPWINGER. At least that guy makes me laugh... Why can't you all deal with tangible questions. ANY GIRL can answer the queston for me, you two can if you would like... I never said that you can't go sleep with people until the cows come home, that is your business. Go do it. Fine. You didn't ask for opinions. Please can I get an answer to my question asked 5 posts above this one? I am not judging her AT ALL. NEVER DID. Gosh.

anyone?

As a female, I agree with you.

I may have misunderstood the original question, as well, but I thought bgsugirlie was saying that she wasn't going to sleep with someone again unless the situation was right, romantic, etc. Now, call me crazy, but I don't think there's much romance when it comes to 2 people just having sex for the hell of it. And I'd be a little freaked out if some guy I wasn't pretty seriously involved with or had serious feelings for lit candles, had rose petals, etc. So I think it was a fair assumption that she was saying she wasn't going to sleep with someone until it was more serious. That may be the wrong assumption, but people made it.

Some guys will come up with that scenario on their own - very few guys, but nonetheless, some will. If you want to wait for that type of scenario, then I would guess that you should wait till it's a fairly stable, somewhat serious connection you have. And if it's very important to you, then you shouldn't settle for less. Do I think it's cute or psycho to do it yourself? Well, I think that it would be romantic if you were in a committed relationship and (like someone else said) do the whole romance/seduction scene yourself. It would be kind of odd to go get water for someone and come back and have rose petals on your bed, especially if you aren't in a relationship. (I wasn't sure what type of relationship you two have)

I was referring to your town whore comment. I thought it was UNCALLED FOR.

Re: Re: cute...or psycho...???
 

do you mean Norman BATES?

Norman Mailer is a famous author ;)

allergies????
 

Ok, I hate to be the voice of reason......BUT....From a practical perspective. How is he not going to notice the roses? Also, you've known him for a while, make sure he's not allergic. I agree with some other posters who suggest that this may not be a good "1st time" idea. However, it would be great for valentine's day, or an anniv.

Good Luck, and watch out for the thorns :cool:

What???!!!??? I didn't even call anyone that. What are you talking about?? I said, "if you want to be the town whore, I could care less". That is not calling anyone anything. That is simply saying it isn't any of my business what you do, I was trying to help her out.. Why are you looking for a fight? Is something else wrong with you that ou would make that connection? That I would be calling someone that? That is a horrible thing that I hope no one would ever say to anyone. You are looking for a fight, and digging deep. I hope you realize I wouldn't call anyone something like that... EVER. Please read my posts slower... Thanks for looking at my question DZHBrown

I agree!!!

Re: Re: Re: cute...or psycho...???
 

I thought Normal Mailer was an odd choice. ;)

I am glad to see some women agree with me. I hope you don't get flamed by valkyrie and lovelyivy84. They hate me I guess. I wish the girl who started this thread the best, and hope she makes the right decision...

I agree. If you can't him your likes and dislikes yet....then wait.

I think you want this "moment" too bad. Im sure if you drop hints long enough he will get the point AND DO IT HIMSELF FOR YOU. ITS YOUR DREAM not his..im sure it wont be as big of a deal if you did it yourself. Besides you said the relationship is pretty new so give him time..he pull something like that one day.

All I'm going to say is that you remind me of my best friend. She's dealt with the same guy for 3 years and the thing that would make her the happiest is the rose petals and candles "moment" :) I will tell you what I told her, the more pressure you put on him for this romantic escapade the less of a chance you're going to get it. Drop subtle hints and be honest with your "wants" but don't make it an ultimatim for a scroggin' session. :)

On another note, I didn't want anything romantic as this idea, but TKE209 did this exact thing for me for V-Day :D

PS: Don't scrog on rose petals, you'll have little red dots all over you from the petals :p

Re: Re: Re: cute...or psycho...???
 

No, i meant Norman Mailer, the guy's a freak. ;)

Just kidding. :D yeah, you're right, i meant Norman Bates. Where the HELL did i come up with Norman Mailer?

Kitso
KS 361 strange connections our brains make

Rose petals on the bed. A big NO. What if he's allergic to flowers? (a possiblilty).

No seriously, roses, candles, and sweet-smelling perfumes only works on us woman. Men don't need that much to get in the mood. (Correct me if I'm wrong).

If you (when you are ready) want to have sex with him, just let him lead the way.

But if you are in a hurry, then I would recommend you were lingerie from Victoria Secret or Frederick's of Hollywood under your clothes.

If you've been friends for five years, you also knew he wasn't the romantic type...Being in a relationship doesn't change someone to make them into who you want them to be...So, you really don't have any right to expect anything more than who he is unless you CLEARLY express that...

Also, sometimes, dreams don't live up to expectations...