So I just found out one of my neighbor got a those mail bride
 

I'm still astounded that he did it. In fact, he even gave me the webpage where he, uhm, purchase his wive. He's an average looking oak who is an accountant. The wive he is getting is a hot girl from Russia. She's moving into the flat next month, I'm definately going to be there just to see if there are any chemistry.
In case you wonder, here is the website: http://arussianromance.com/

I hope he's aware that this is illegal (isn't it?). Not to mention pretty dumb and immoral.

I know a couple of guys who did that. Every 6 months one of them dumps the current and gets a new one. Its pretty phucked up in my view.

My step-grandfather's son has a mail-order bride from Russia. Except, he won't admit that he mail ordered her. Whenever we ask how they met, he says, "Oh, over the internet." Riiiiight. This girl doesn't speak a word of English and he doesn't speak any Russian. How they communicated over the internet is beyond me. Even funnier how at Thanksgiving, he was complaining that he's 37 and unmarried. Two months later, the family got-together for my dad's birthday and he showed up with Talia. Pretty girl....but mail-ordered.

:confused:


Very werid shit.

I think it's illegal to run a service like that in this country, but it's not illegal everywhere. I saw a 20/20 show about this once a while back i believe. Men going to Russia to get wives. Its sad in a way, because the older women that go to these clubs to meet these men who may or may not have children usually get the shaft, and it's the younger "bimbo-like" women that get "picked up" if you will.

However one story they profiled on there i found quite humorous. This guy went over there and got this younger women. he was like 50 and she was like 21 or so. Anywho, he was telling her he had a home by the beach and blah blah, and created this illusion with her he had all this money. Well a few months later when she came over after her paperwork cleared, she found out the house by the beach, was actually about 5 miles from the beach, very small one level home, where his mother also lived with him to help him pay the bills. All of which he neglected to tell the new wife.........and they divorced rather quickly........I think they both got what they deserved.......the whole idea is assinine :)

Why is it illegal?? And on top of that what makes it dumb and immoral?? This post qualifies for the "Post of the day that makes no sense whatsoever".

-Rudey

My parents have a friend whos an Orthepedic Surgeon down in Palm Beach. He bought one of those Russian mail order brides. It was funny though. She ended up leaving him for his best friend, they're still married. He's like 56 and she was like 21, it was funny. I guess money wasn't everything to her, he has a lot of it. Keep in mind this was before they came out with Viagra!!!;)

In 10th grade my friend Ashley's dad got one of those. This girl was like seriously 19, skinny, blonde, and spoke maybe two words of english. I remember her name was Olga and she was from the Ukraine or something. Ashley's dad has a lot of money, but he's not the nicest/most attractive guy, but ehh I guess she didn't really care. She loved to wear a LOT of hot pink, and she really did look ridiculous, but no one could tell her that b/c she couldn't understand us anyway. Either way it was pretty amusing at the time, even though it's pathetic. :rolleyes: :D :p

it cant be illegal. i should know. my dad has married a mail order bride 6 times. he is currently looking into mail order bride #7. i kid you not. it is not cool to have your stepmother be one month older than you.

http://www.loveme.com

:eek:

Yeah, I really wouldn't be too happy either.

just wait, i haven't gotten going yet.

Corbin Dallas, i ain't seen you in dog's age. Where ya been hiding yourself?

Kitso
KS 361

ewwwwwwwwww :(

OMG that's AWFUL!!!

Congratulations on your marriage! :D On what day was your ceremony? I ask because I got married a few weeks ago myself -- October 11th. :)

I know you're probably not going to take me seriously and you'll make fun of me but here are the concerns I want to address: :)

Well, there seems to be some disagreement about whether or not it's illegal. They're definately not totally above-board. Why?

Because it's a system that verges on being a slave trade. Poor women from other countries come here with no skills, no English, and expecting some rich sexy guy--who is probably not all that if he's getting a mail-order bride.

There was a situation where one man married a woman and then began abusing her. He ended up killing her when she tried to leave. Now, certainly not all males who order mail-order brides are murderers, but I argue that it's not really surprising if they are. Clearly if they're essentially BUYING a woman that doesn't show much respect for women's rights or concerns. Definately doesn't show that they care about getting to know the woman (or any woman whom they date).

It's illegal because it's not a totally legit practice, often.
It's dumb because who would DO this? Losers, clearly
It's immoral because it's trafficking in women.

I'm sure some will disagree but I've clarified my point.

WTF!?

http://216.40.249.192/s/cwm/cwm/uhoh2.gif

Is this thread serious?

Yes and no. My understanding is that some segments of women are esentially forced to participate by their family, a pimp-type or whatever. Others freely elect to participate because they want to get out of their country. The latter cannot be likened to a slave trade.

Quote:

Poor women from other countries come here with no skills, no English, and expecting some rich sexy guy--who is probably not all that if he's getting a mail-order bride.

This is not entirely true. I watched a documentary where Russian women angrily defended themselves saying that they were NOT poor, unskilled and uneducated. They said that they participated because there was a shortage of men in some sections of Russia. Their culture heavily leans on marriage and family and they didn't want to grow old and haggard waiting for a husband. Plus, given the economic climate, they make no effort to hide the fact that they want a better life and opportunity in America. Some stated that they believed that American men treat them better then Russian men. The women in this documentary were from a woman-run agency and they all spoke English. The participants were actually quite skilled such as teachers, lawyers etc. They just couldn't stand living in Russia anymore and wanted to make their lives elsewhere.


I'm not saying that mail-ordering a wife is ok. I am simply sharing that there are more facets to this than just "it's on the verge of a slave trade".


That said, I do know that there are tons of reports of men treating their mail-order wives horribly thinking "Well, I can; I paid for her." That behaviour is clearly very wrong. Nonetheless, it doesn't necessarily mean that the woman was entered into the contract against her will.


.....Kelly :)

I'm still going to have to agree with breathesgelatin. It sounds like the women in this documentary were a little too defensive. The fact is that even though they claim to be educated and skilled, they are completely dependent upon men to "rescue" them from Russia. I think that's awful, and I don't see how it's that different from prostitution.

I wish that instead of growing old "waiting for a husband" these women would make lives for themselves without regard for what society has to say about marriage.

And seriously, I can't imagine anything more pathetic than a "man" who would actually stoop to "buying" a wife.

Other than the service that provides the introduction to these mail order brides, who gets paid? Who are the men buying the brides from?

What's the difference between this and match.com? Not much in my book. At the end of the day this is just a little more in your face. Most of the world doesn't get married based on love - it's often based on stability.

Eh it's funny to make fun of the guy who "bought" his wife, but is he really better than the guy who found his future wife dancing half naked in a bar, got her even more drunk, slept with her and after she forced his number out of him got him to dfate her?

This isn't slavery people. That's ridiculous and belittles what actually is. The Sudan runs an incredibly large slave trade. A lot of countries come to mind that run prostitution trades where they lie to women to get them to immigrate and then force them into slavery. This isn't the case here.

-Rudey
--And Rob's mom was bought from one of these services...do you guys realize how offended he is by all this?

Dude, I don't know about you, but if I met someone on match.com, I wouldn't be moving to a new country where I would be unable to function independently.

I don't see any similarity between a mail-order bride situation and a typical U.S. dating relationship, even if it started with a completely wasted woman. In most dating relationships, the people get to know each other over time and one isn't completely dependent upon the other -- at least in my experience.

That's the thing. You see it as needing to function independently. Maybe she sees it as functioning with her husband. There's nothing wrong with that in my book.

And no, I wouldn't move to another city for a girl, let alone another country. I'm not one of those freaks.

-Rudey
--Sorry Rob, I didn't mean to call your pops a freak.

I totally hear what you and breathesgelatin are saying and I am not completely disagreeing with you.


I have come to understand a little bit of your way of seeing things having read many of your posts. In an ideal world, women wouldn't "need" a man. However, your feminist views are likely based on a Western viewpoint. If I am incorrect on that, I welcome clarification. One must have a greater understanding of how these *Eastern European* women live. See, here is what you said:



I have recently returned from visiting my family Poland several weeks ago. That country is still in a mess from the bad workover they got from the Communist era. Unemployment is really, really bad. Things are so bad that the women cannot "make a life for themselves" even if they are skilled. Guess what? The men can't either!!! Your comment makes sense, but it simply is not the reality for these people.


Now, let's look at the cultural differences. Most of my Polish relatives are farmers/land owners. My two cousins (a brother and sister) and the female cousin's husband took me around the countryside to see everyone. At every house we went to, my cousin Mariusz and his brother-in-law, Kasik, ran outside to visit with the menfolk, to look at the tractors, etc. They left Grazyna and I to sit inside the house with the aunt who was *always* busy cooking. I wanted to run around outside to look at the farm, the animals and to watch people working. But nooooo I got the impression that I was meant to stay inside because I'm a girl.


Irritated and bored, I brought it up to Grazyna who explained that this was the Polish way - that farm women had their work to do and Polish farm men had their work to do. After that, the menfolk tried to respect that I am an American woman and thus, I am more independant. I started wandering around more and they even showed me around. In turn, I tried to respect that their culture is different than mine and I didn't try and butt in on their menfolk activities.


You see, it's all well and good to say, "they are completely dependent upon men to "rescue" them from Russia", but that's not necessarily true. Or, at least, that's a comment with a lot of spin. At the end of my trip, I discussed with my cousins the possibility of hosting them for a visit at my house here in the US. They gasped at the idea for, in their mind, the idea of going for a vacation in America is unheard of. As Grazyna told me, "It's so impossible, we don't even dream about that." They cited the surpeme difficulty in getting an American tourist visa, even with sponsorship.


My Polish cousin on my mother's side of the family (both sides of my family are Polish), tried to get a visa to the US to visit her brother who was studying at an American high school as an exchange student. She was unable to obtain one, even though her family in Poland is financially stable and she had letters from the US to support her application.


It's just difficult.


A skilled Russian woman may *want* to make a better life for herself, by herself; but she simply *can't* due to the current state of affairs. These women recognize that their "ticket" out of there is to marry an American man. You may think that they are weak and dependant; I could see it another way and say that they are actually quite smart and enterprising for knowing how to play the system! It's all how you look at it!


I have heard about sad American men thinking that they were going to find a companion from a mail-order service, only to get a mean, scheming wife who used them for everything they had before leaving. Does a man in that case get what he deserves? Maybe. But those ladies certainly weren't the doormat types you describe!


At any rate, I'm not an advocate of mail-order bride agencies. I am simply trying to point out that:


a) we should not impress our Western feminist views upon other cultures


b) we should not pass judgement on women who are living in a place where they are not free to make a life for themselves


and


c) some of these mail-order brides know *precisely* what they are doing


Just food for thought! Thanks for the great discussion!


.....Kelly :)

Can't believe how many people know someone who did this!!!

My favorite is the one who ran off with the guy's best friend -- if you order a hot russian bride who has zero attachment to you, I expect you will have a lot of new friends coming over all the time!

it is ridiculously uncomfortable to be left at home with your father's wife from south america who can only speak spanish. i remember being fourteen and having to hear the spanish tv station for hours.

my dad says that he looks for mail order brides cause he has no luck with american women:rolleyes:

I wouldn't consider someone who bought a mail-order bride a loser per se. As I stated on page 1, my parents are friends with a surgeon who did that. One of his hobbies is collecting Mercedes, he's got 7 of them. He's got a 4,000 sqft home in Palm Beach Gardens, which is VERY expensive, and he has a huge boat. I wouldn't say he's a loser. His wife divorced him. He's in his 50s and decided to get one of those brides. He might be a little crazy, but he is definitely not a loser.

yeah, my dad is not a loser. he just wants a woman:p

I have to agree with Cashmoney on this one. I don't these men are losers per se. Some of them must be very insecure and terribly loney and see this as the only way they can find a companion. Other men may be control freaks and to them it's probably easier to control a women who doesn't speak the language, who is possibly unskilled and uneducated and has no friends or family for support.
The latter are the real losers.

really what i want to know is..how come there aren't mail order husbands? ;)

It seems that he doesn't have much luck with mail order brides, either. ;)

Kelly raised some very good points in her post. :) People living in these former communist countries have very hard lives without the opportunities that Americans take for granted.

Russian mail order brides come to New York City not knowing a word of English. Within a month, they can say Prada, Gucci, Fendi, Armani, Versace, etc. Apparently, they can speak Italian.

Slight hijack --- LOL at the comment about Russian mail order brides becoming label mavens.http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/rotfl.gif

Back to the scheduled topic. I think some of my thoughts about mail-order brides have been covered by others, so I have nothing more to add.