You Might Be A Grad Student If. . .
 

You Might Be a Graduate Student if.......


You just might be a graduate student if...

...you can analyze the significance of appliances you cannot operate.

...your carrel is better decorated than your apartment.

...you have ever, as a folklore project, attempted to track the progress of your own
joke across the Internet.

...you are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read.

...you have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar.

...you rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for your laptop.

...everything reminds you of something in your discipline.

...you have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event.

...you have ever spent more than $50 on photocopying while
researching a single paper.

...there is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider "yours."

...you actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche.

...you can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow at
the library.

...you look forward to summers because you're more productive
without the distraction of classes.

...you regard ibuprofen as a vitamin.

...you consider all papers to be works in progress.

...professors don't really care when you turn in work anymore.

...you find the bibliographies of books more interesting than
the actual text.

...you have given up trying to keep your books organized and are
now just trying to keep them all in the same general area.

...you have accepted guilt as an inherent feature of relaxation.

.. you reflexively start analyzing those greek letters before you
realize that it's a sorority sweatshirt, not an equation.

....you find yourself explaining to children that you are in "20th
grade".

....you start refering to stories like "Snow White et al."

....you frequently wonder how long you can live on pasta without getting
scurvy

....you look forward to taking some time off to do laundry

....you have more photocopy cards than credit cards

....you wonder if APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself as
"personal communication"

The Top Ten Lies Told By Graduate Students
 

Top 10 Lies Told by Grad Students
The Top Ten Lies Told By Graduate Students

10. It doesn't bother me at all that my college roommate is making
$80,000 a year on Wall Street.
9. I'd be delighted to proofread your book/article/chapter.
8. My work has a lot of practical importance.
7. I would never date an undergraduate.
6. Your latest article was so inspiring.
5. I turned down a lot of great job offers to come here.
4. I just have to read one more book and then I'll start writing my thesis
3. The department is giving me so much support.
2. My job prospects look really good.
1. No really, I'll be out of here in only two more years.

Difference between Grad School & Hell
 

Difference between Grad School & Hell
TOP 10 SUBTLE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN GRAD SCHOOL AND HELL


10. It doesn't rain in Hell.
9. Everyone has heard of Hell.
8. It's a lot more fun getting into Hell.
7. You can't fail out of Hell.
6. At least you can sleep in Hell.
5. Hell is forever; Grad School just seems like it.
4. People smile in Hell.
3. You only have to sell your soul to go to Hell.
2. There are hot men and women in Hell.

And the #1 Subtle Difference between Grad School and Hell:
(drum roll)

1. You would never tell a friend to go to Grad school!

Are you in grad school CT4? ;)

I'm personally loving the "differences between grad school and hell" !!

LOL, nope just a bored broke woman on a Sunday morning who knows there are a lot of folks on GC in grad school.

I took some grad courses while I was teaching, though. :)

As an ex-grad student who is planning to go back to grad school, I thought those jokes were funny!

http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/...xxrotflmao.gif

Heheheh...those are great! I'm going back to school this spring. Thanks for scaring me, CT4 :D

So I'm sitting here, writing a paper that will be turned into my senior thesis that will be used for applying to graduate school, and this is what I see on GC during my study breaks. Thanks, CT4. :p

Wow, it pretty much describe my post-grad days, esp. bout the professor not caring when you hand in the work. Also, not dating undergard, never did that. ;)

Very cute! Thanks for the laugh! Now I guess I'll get back to this exciting appraisals and assessments stuff that I need to turn in someday soon!

If you are making fun fo Graduts, that is not funny!:(

Many of us have worked hard to get out of college in 7 1/2 years with a degree in BS!:cool:

If I had not gotten married (Divorced now) I would still be working towards many degrees of???????:)

any other grad students here teaching, too? - sometimes I want to show up to the class I teach in pajama pants and a sweatshirt.

Yeah grad school is SO MUCH damn reading. But luckily my program is not a thesis program :) I have to do a 9 month residency instead.

Grad school
 

You might be in grad school if...

you can't tell which of the last 30 drafts of a paper was the one to submit for a grade.

you are considering naming your first born child with monikers that spell SPSS.

sleep is considered an optional recreational activity.

"The Committee" means some semi-secretive organization designed to keep you in Hades on Earth.

FYI: I ACTUALLY had a serious discussion with Mr. Silver about our eating habits and scurvy just this week!

Silver

I'm starting grad school at Vanderbilt in January. Guess I know what I'm looking forward to! :)

This is at once funny and really, really sad. I can't WAIT to be done with grad school...

(only to do it all over again in about 2 years when I go back for my Ph.D.)

Re: Grad school
 

Aughhh!!! I am taking a whole quant methods and reporting class right now that is solely based on SPSS :p

Re: You Might Be A Grad Student If. . .
 

These are soo true, especially the APA one. I think there will be many a day whereas I will try to consider "personal communication" as something that is citable. :D :p :D

Re: Re: You Might Be A Grad Student If. . .
 

I may or may not have just done this for a group project. ;)

Re: Grad school
 

Those are also funny!

http://www.stupid-boy.com/smilies/ot...xxrotflmao.gif

You might be applying to grad school if...

*You didn't buy a new sweater this weekend because "That's another application fee!"
*You emailed your undergrad sorority chapter telling them not to hold any events on certain weekends because that's when you're taking the LSAT
*You suggest family vacations in the areas of schools you want to go visit

Those are great!!
 

HAHA! I love it---those are GREAT!! I totally can understand the gulit as relaxation quote! I go through that alot! haha!

this is why I had to take a break from grad school
(might go back next year)

When will my life begin?
 

Okay, why did I stop laughing when I got to #1? :(
I can only tolerate two more years!

What's everyone majoring in?

I got my BA in criminal justice and am now in my first year for my MPA (masters in public administration.)

It's... sooooooo.... boooooring!!! :rolleyes:

I'm getting my PhD in Educational Psychology. It's very interesting, but overwhelming at times. It's definitely a love/hate thang!

I am getting my PhD in Molecular and Human Genetics. At times it really is a bit much but overall I am really enjoying myself.

I'm getting my MSEd in Guidance Counseling.

Sahara, keep me posted on how you're doing in your program. I might decide to get a doctorate somewhere down the line. Your program sounds interesting.

I received my BA in Sociology and am currently going for my MBA.

You might be in Grad School if...
 

Your might be in grad school if you got your spring tuition bill and realized that 1 hour of credit is more than your monthly morgage payment..... :(

From reading this thread, I can tell that A LOT of people are seriously tired of being so educated.... :o

I realized today that I have been continuously enrolled (mostly full-time, most summers, too) in graduate school for almost 8 years. My undergrad classmates have children who as old as my first graduate school tuition bill...
:(

Silver

I received my MPA in May 2002! I loved Public Admin courses! I went straight from undergrad to graduate school...one year into grad school I was so burned out I wanted to quit! I thought I was going to be a full time student for the rest of my life! (1996-2000 Bachelor of Arts in Business and Organizational Communications/Public Relations...2000-2002 Masters of Public Administration)

Some words of advice from a postgrad individual...STICK IT OUT- IT WILL FEEL SO GOOD AND REWARDING WHEN YOU ARE DONE!!

dangerously overeducated
 

B.A. in English
University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

M.A. in English Literature
University of New South Wales in Sydney, Australia

Ph.D. in Rhetoric and Composition
University of North Carolina at Greensboro

I'll finally get a hooding ceremony on May!!

The Ph.D. has been worth it, but, MAN, has this been tough! Teaching at two universities while trying to get out of ABD hell has been a nightmare. Luckily, I have a great tenure-track job now at Coastal Carolina University. Living near the beach makes a lot of the tough times in the Ph.D.-seeking past worthwhile.

Best of luck to rest of you overachievers, too...

Cheers,
scs

Am 1/4 of my way to an M.A. in Media Communications and I loved my classes this semester ... our last classes were this week (night classes - 2 of them - 4 hours long each) and we went out for beer and pizza/apps for each class.

1 semester down, 3 to go for a Masters of Science in Architecture and Historic Preservation. I did very well, and ended up celebrating quite a few times with drinks and food. Woo hoo!

I eventually want to get my PhD in Architectural History and Theory so I can teach, but I want to work some so I get out of this darned Ivied ivory tower!

SPSS is a ridiculously easy program to understand. We used it in high school even. And being in grad school is awesome...you bag all the undergrad chicks, if you want group sex the grad school chicks are always willing, and most of your schooling is paid for through grants that undergrads don't get.

-Rudey
--Man I wish I was a grad student...bagging chicks and getting paid for it.

?????
 

Rudey,
?????
I am speechless...which is actually amazing in and of itself....
Silver

Re: ?????
 

It really isn't that bad. I mean if you want to play around with a slightly simpler package, look into Stata. I bet "Intercooled" is running off some of your university servers and you would never even have to purchase the program - just log in and run the commands. I'm not exactly sure how much power you need to get with your manipulations but I can't imagine a scenario in which Stata wouldn't be ok for you. P-tests, T-tests, 95% Confidence intervals, and anything basic it handles with ease and for more complex functions you can do command line manipulations.

-Rudey
--Now I'm going back to partypoker.com

???
 

Rudey,

No, no, no....You misunderstand my confusion.

SPSS is no problem. Besides, stata would not handle the stuff that I do. I am a LOT older, and I teach math. When I was in grad school the first time or two, back in the stone age, we actually calculated BY HAND most of the stat tests that you mentioned!;) Now, data sets almost analyze themselves with these lovely stat packages.....

I am just speechless at your ideas of grad school in general?!?! I do not know WHERE you went to grad school, but that kind of experience is NOT typical of any of the three places I have been....even in the stone age! Maybe I have been living under a rock?

Is it waxing poetic, tounge-in-cheek sarcasm that my extremely-overworked mind does not comprehend? I just can't imagine anyone saying that "being in grad school is awesome"!

Silver

I did the exact same things!!!!! I have NO money for christmas cause ever law app costs between $60-75 a pop...and then the LSAD gets you to order the transcipts and stuff for $12. Its ALL a HUGE money scam!!!

Re: ???
 

Oh no :) I was joking that because you get to date undergrads and a lot of your schooling is paid for free that it's gotta be great :) I took a lot of grad level courses while in college but haven't been a part of any grad program just yet :)

-Rudey
--We had to calculate all that stuff by hand for one of my stat classes. I know it sucks but it really helps you understand what's going on as opposed to just plugging in numbers.