Introduciing significant other to family and friends
 

Hey GC'ers,

Just a quick survey. How long do you wait before introducing your guy/girl to your family and friends?

My distraction and I are at a serious point of contention over this issue. I feel that it's cool to meet friends after dating a little bit. But, I just do not bring people around the fam. We have to be VERY serious (MAIN REASON: my family is crazy! i have to be sure you won't leave me after meeting them!)


Anyway, what's a reasonable amount of time: a month...3 months...longer?

6 months..for family

I agree...I met my bf's family way too early and it seriously made me reevaluate how much I REALLY like him in order to put up with the madness.

interesting........................
 

ideally i would wait at least a year. you and your 'distraction' (i like that) would be just getting over the honeymoon phase of the relationship and depending on your age will be looking at the next steps in your relationship.

this is something that shouldn't be rushed. i also feel that you will know when the time is right.

I'd also wait 6 months or so to introduce your SO to the fam. I was going to do a sidebar about not bringing your SO's kid over to your family's home when your relationship isn't super-solid (true story with a family member of mine), but I digress.

another part to your question too abaici is, When do YOU want to meet his Family?? that may give you an idea when to bring him around your fam.

Well...his family lives about five hours away. But, even if they lived 10 minutes away, I'm not trying to go there just yet. It's been three months, but I'm cool with the six months - year. Sounds good to me!

Re: Introduciing significant other to family and friends
 

This was a BIG area of contention with me and an ex. We had only been dating for maybe a month and he was wanting to me my family. I was like "umm, no, I don't just bring any and everybody to meet my folks". Believe me it was a huge source of tension.

I eventually caved in after 3 months, but my ideal time is about 6 months to a year as well.

Girl, you're a mess, but they'll be your family too!! (Did yall talk yet...)

Anyway, I NEVER intrhoduce a guy to my family until its ULTRA serious. They don't even hear a name until we're tight. Now my friends, I may mention him, I may not, but I'm at the point now where I don't mention them to friends either unless its tight, because if they f---up, you gotta explain what happened, blah blah blah, and most of the time I don't feel like it.

But, on a time scale, I can't really say, it depends on how we prhogress, anywhere from a month to three months.

"distraction" - I like that :)

I met my husband's family one month after we started dating. He'd invited them up for his graduation, and I almost fell over when he said "Hey, my parents are in town, wanna go to dinner with them?"

I must have really loved him even way back then, because I didn't run screaming after I met his folks :p

It wasn't long after that when I introduced him to my parents. He must have really loved me too, because he didn't run screaming either...

For me, a long, long, long time. First the parental units. I'm not worried about the dad, but my mom is a retired cop and can be pretty ruthless when it comes to her BABY (yes, I'm still her baby). Then I would have to introduce him to my grandmother and aunt and they interview people like crazy. I love them to death, but have never seen two individuald who can meet a person and in 5 minutes know their whole back ground, but sometimes this comes in handy.

I'm going to go with the majority here and say 6 months to a year. After 6 months most of all the mushy "I'm on my best behavior" has ended. And you are really trying to evaluate your next steps with this "distraction" (I likes!).
Plus bringing someone to meet your family is like bringing them into a more private part of your life. It should be considered a very special occassion.

Good Question
 

For me it will be a year or longer simply because I have a 10 year old son and I do not believe in bringing just any man around him. I have to know that we are in it for the long haul and that it's actually going somewhere. Even then, he will be introduced as "just a friend" until they can develop a positive friendship. As for the rest of the family...I can care less if they ever meet. All of them are crazy!!! LOL.

Re: Good Question
 

^5 Soror. :D

I sure wish that my nephew's ex-GF had thought to do the same with her daughter...:rolleyes:

I met Dude's family after about a year, same with my immediate family.

I'm different
 

I see that many of you take a WHILE before introducing "the other" because you want them to already be comfy with you before they meet your "crazy for you" family, however me and mine are COMPLETELY opposite.

I like my mom to have a heads up on my new beau so that when i'm always around him, she won't have to worry about his character (which she ALWAYS DOES about everyone). So i like her to meet him well into the first month (just a note: I'm not one to just date. I have a boyfriend or nothin).

In addition, my boyfriend told me that he wanted me to meet his family early and he warned me about them. About a year after we were going out my boyfriend told me he wanted me to see what I would be gettin into for the rest of my life before he or I got too attached. If I know early and still want to be around then he knew that I could be THE ONE!!

I also believe that deeeeeeeeep down my mom knows somethin genuine when she sees it. She doesn't take well to too many people, but she lets me find out on my own. I like to get her opinion in advance to know what I need to keep around. LOL! :D

I say let your family meet him/her. If they can't handle it now, will they ever? Is he/she gonna try to take you away once they've decided that they don't like your family? Questions that can be answered if they are introduced early (before the 3rd month).

Just some things to think about;)

quick addition
 

just another quick thing

my last post was about my and his IMMEDIATE family. All the aunties, cousins, uncles, will meet him at the weddin rehersal dinner!!!!!;) LOL!

I had "screening" issues when I started dating my husband. I wasn't sure if he was for real. And I really didn't have close friends where I was living at the time... So when I first met my husband, it was in Vegas with my MOM AND DAD and all of their friends...

If he couldn't handle that aspect of my life, then he couldn't be with me. That was important for me...

Needless to say, my now husband got through the screening process with flying colors...

I did not meet his family until after we were married...

His mother had problems with my husband and I being married in the manner that we did until recently... She use to not speak to me on the phone... Now she I cannot get a word in edgewise...

Oh well, I guess it works for folks in different ways...

Well, when Hubby and I were dating, I met his mom after about a month and the rest of his family at Thanksgiving about a month later. As for my family, Hubby didn't meet them until after we got engaged about 2 years later. :eek: I didn't want to bring him around my family because my parents would ask the rudest questions like "What kind of degree do you have? Can you make any money from that?" So to avoid all of that, I took Hubby to meet Grandma. Grandma is one of the few family members I listen to and respect so if she says that somone is no good, then you gotta go! Grandma spent one day with Hubby, pulled me aside and told me that "I had better hold on to him cause he'll make you a good husband and your baby a good daddy!" She was right because Hubby is a good husband and he adopted my son! :D

Ahhhhhhh, that is so sweet! Even though my current boyfriend and I are making plans for our future together (still unofficial unfortunately) I'm by no means trying to force a relationship between him and my son. My baby is at the age where he is protective over mommy one minute and jealous the next minute. Much to my surprise, he has taken a strong liking towards my boyfriend, but the most I will allow is a quick phone conversation and a few "supervised" e-mails. I may be head over heels in love, but my son isn't. I just don't want to rush him. I think the fact that it has been well over a year has helped a lot with him adjusting and getting use to the idea of having a father figure around.

I think it is all about how comfortable you are. Some people need that family assurance early. The question is what are you expecting out of the relationship. If is just a dating thing what is the need but if it is serious then that may be a call you have to make. I don't think there is a time call to do it.

Sphinxpoet

I don't think that there is a set time frame, but ideally you would want to wait until the both of you are settled into the relationship. My wife was living with her mother and brother when we met, so I was familiar with them. However, had I met the rest of the family sooner I would have probably run off screaming(LOL). Honestly, my wife knows how some of her family members are and she has told me that she didn't bring me around some of them earlier because of how they may act or react towards me.

I loved that you called him your distraction (LMAO).

I would wait until I knew that he would be around for a while. There is generally no set time, but I would have to feel like it was something that was serious and leading to something more. My friends like to give their opinions too much for me to let them meet someone who doesn't mean too much to me. My family is so set on me settling down that I wouldn't want to get their hopes up needlessly.

Well, P-Diddy and I have been together on and off (more on than off) for two years come December. He's met my mother briefly maybe twice, the first time being about a year ago. He met my Nana once about a month ago, and she loved him. We are making plans for him to meet me in Baltimore on Thanksgiving to spend it with my family, at this time he will get a chance to meet my father's side of the family. :eek:

Sidebar: I have already told Patrick that my father is crazy (not really...he just likes you to think that he is), and he will probably try to scare him. My grandfather probably won't speak to him...hell, he barely speaks to me! As for the rest of the family, he's already family as far as they are concerned. I'm just going to be more nervous about the degree of 'crazy' my father chooses to display. LOL!