I Did Something Naughty and I Need Sisterly Advice
 

Last week, a sister called me with an offer I couldn't turn down. She had a friend who was a jeweler make her a custom pendant of the Alpha Gam badge. It sat flat on her neckline and it was just GORGEOUS! Everytime she wore it, I always complimented her on it and wished aloud that I could have one in white gold so I could wear it everyday with my other jewelry.

It turns out that she lost her pendant (:() and decided to have her friend remake it. She she emailed me and asked me if I wanted to have one made in white gold with pearls and diamonds.

She told me it would cost around $250, so I debated telling Sean and asking for it as a Christmas present. Then I said, "What the hell? Why do I have to ask him for permission? I'll use my money and buy it for myself." So I told her to give her friend the go-ahead.

This week a package arrived for me at the house. Sean calls me at work and says, "Did you order a very expensive looking diamond necklace?" :eek: :eek: :eek:

I said, "what?!?!" (acting like I had no idea what he was talking about and secretly dying of a heart attack inside.)

Turns out he was kidding--it was a book that I had ordered for him, but he doesn't know how close to the truth he came.

So my question for you, sisters, is: have you ever done anything like this? Should I come clean and tell him what I did?

I've done that with shopping... but here is my thing... it is our money, we work for it don't we so why do we need to feel guilty for spending what we make... now if we had children starving or our electric turned off then it would be different. I say fess up if you want to but don't feel guilty.

i've never been in that situation, so i'm not exactly sure.. but it is your money.

but it does sound beatiful, and i think you should post a picture when you get it so that way i can be jealous!

Thanks for the advice, ladies. Here's the thing. While money isn't super tight for us right now--we can pay our bills without a problem--its not as though we have money to burn, either.

This pendant isn't a necessity that I absolutely HAVE to have. Yes, I will love it and cherish it as long as I live, but I won't die if I don't have it.

While I know I can afford it and I should be able to buy nice things for myself, I guess I just feel guilty about not talking to Sean about it first. Uggg. I think I'm having Catholic guilt--and I'm not even Catholic. :(

As women, I think we are entitled to our little "splurges". They keep us sane.

I don't even have a husband to confess to, but I feel a little guilty when I splurge.

As long as we don't make it a habit, I don't see anything wrong with it. :)

And I am 99% sure the men have their "splurges", ours are just prettier. ;)

I am 100% positive men have their "splurges". I swear my husbands life tends to be one big splurge--hee hee!!!

I would mention it to him. I know exactly how I would tell my Shawn~~ laying in bed talking one night, I would role over and cuddle up (i'm not a cuddler--so this should clue him in), and tell him I found something I had to have. Explain what it is--in full detail and describe everybit of its beauty!!! Then say you are sorry for not talking to him first, but the opportunity came up and you couldn't pass it up.

But if you decide not to tell him~~ call the jeweler immediately and ask him to ship it to your office instead of your home!! hee hee!!!!


-wendi

My bf commented earlier about this- how informing him and asking for permission are two different things. You should let him know so there are no surprises.

I splurged on a red Brighton watch. Can't rem how much it cost, but it was more than the usual ones from KMart, etc. (I am hard on watches).

Of course he couldn't miss it, lol. But it was a veryyy stressful week and we both agreed I deserved it!!!

Besides, he had just bought his motorcycle so he was spending $$ on leather jacket, pants, lol.


BTW, Maria, once you get it, how would you hide if from Sean anyway...wouldn't he notice it?

((Thanks, You Know Who You Are!));)

sorry about the hijack...
 

but i gotta ask...

lynn, are you out there on the motorcycle in a leather jacket and leather pants too? with an AGD on the back instead of harley davidson?? :p

(i apologize for the post, i have not had enough sleep lately!:D )

Yea, Right!
 

Waiting for him to get a bigger bike! (He just got back from a 3day ride.)

Back to thread, lol

I think you should tell him you bought it, you shouldn't have to ask his permission though. If you plan on wearing it he is going to notice it sooner or later. I think he would appreciate it more if you told him instead of him seeing it and then getting mad that you didn't tell him.

[Thread Crash]

Just to add one guy's opinion.

I wouldn't care that you ordered it. Now would I care that you didn't tell me. Its not an us decision. Kind of like your shoes or something.

You obviously know what your boy is like better than we do, but I can say generally that you probably feel that its a much bigger deal than its going to be to him. Although if you are the kind of person that naturally feels a lot of guilt, you will think its a bigger and bigger deal the longer you wait lol . . .

So maybe take Alphagam-alums advice and send it to the office that way you can editorialize the receipt ;)

Thank you, James. :)

Update!
 

The pendant arrived in the mail today and it is absolutely STUNNING! I love it, I love it, I love it! :) :D :cool:

Re: Update!
 

CRASH...

So...did you tell him? What did he say?

And where is the picture?????????? :) Inquiring minds want "oowww and ahhhh" appropriately with you :)

In the spirit of sisterhood (and jewelry!)

I haven't told him anything...yet. :o I'll come clean tonight and tell him that this was a present to myself because I deserve it!

As for a picture, I'll try to get something up soon. It looks exactly like the Badge, except in white gold, with 14 seed pearls and 1 (surprisingly large) diamond. It is just beautiful--sigh! :)

He is going to have Pumpkin bite your toes off, then none of your shoes will fit right. Though you deserve it after the McDonald's union lunch debacle last week.

If you want to buy more jewelry and not feel the need to tell him, my birthday is in a month ;)

Don't remind me about the lunch debacle! I am ready to tear my hair out over that STUPID work assignment I've been grousing about for the last few weeks. Everytime I think its bad, somehow it manages to get WORSE! :mad:

Now that I think about it, I may have to go buy myself something else to work off that anger! ;) :p :)

(crash)

Is Sean your husband? Why I ask is, Dr. Joyce Brothers pushes a WONDERFUL system of finances that I will never, ever remarry without. It's called MOMO, for Money Of My Own.

The concept is to make a budget, and keep three checking accounts. You put deposit all paychecks into the joint account, and pay the bills & put aside money for a rainy day (an agreed-to amount). Then, all money left over, be it $5 or $500 dollars, is divided equally for Money Of Your Own. You shall use your money for ANYTHING that your little heart desires, be it ice cream or a diamond pendant, and never, ever feel guilt!

Good luck!

You haven't even heard about me dealing with the Admin of my University, I was so angry it took me a WEEK to calm down to finally talk to them today. Short story is, I was ill and finished last semester's finals recently; the computer somehow academically disqualifies me and drops me from ALL my classes. I find out because housing slips a letter of EVICTION under my door as I am not registered for any classes :eek: . Whomever my mother talked to in accounting refused her payment :confused: yet no one in that office admits doing that. This same computer system (Banner) made me a MAN and changed my birthdate when I lived in Alaska, so NOTHING surprises me anymore. Oh and I am also a cradle robber according to my bitter scorned female friends :rolleyes:

So how about we go shopping together and deal with this? It should be a better time than us being pulled over last Friday and me offering the officers donuts from our dozen we were eating. ;)

Hmmm....I am going to call Sean and tell him! hee hee

Giiiirrrl, do that and you won't be able to run that marathon...'cause I'll take you out at the knees!

LOL, just kidding! ;) :) :D

Bribery...hmmm... big sponsorship for me in my marathon!!! j/k :D

We still don't know if you told him yet ;)
I "Fear The Pumpkin" and the preservation of my toes is of utmost importance.

CrASh...HEEEEEEEEEEEEEY, I want to know too!!!

That is so Tonya Harding of you Maria! However I know you are being severly punished because you have *other* secrets you can't tell. MUAHAHAHAH
:D

ETA: Oh my knee, why meeeeee?