Soul Mates . . . Do they exist?
 

Hello Sorors and SF's!! I hope everyone had a happy holiday!! I have a question for everyone. Do you believe in soul mates? If your soul mate does exist, does that mean that you will inevitably end up with him/her? Is it possible that your soul mate could die before the two of you meet? If it's your soul mate, and you let them pass you by, will they be back into your life, or did you miss out on your soul mate forever?

I have been bitter (for lack of a better word) this past year about men and relationships and whatnot. I used to believe that there was a such thing as soul mates, I think that my parents were soul mates. But lately, I just don't know. So I thought I'd take a poll! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif Tell me what yall think!!!

i think there are soul mates, but they may not always come in the package that you were looking for, so often we miss out on the gift.

I couldn't agree more! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

I couldn't have said it any better!

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Wisemen Speak Because They Have Something To Say, Fools Because They Have To Say Something!
Failure To Plan Is Planning To Fail!!!

I am in total agreement with you Positively AKA. I believe that we all have soulmates. I am an avid watcher of the Oprah Winfrey Show and frequently she has Gary Zukav on her program talking about this very same thing. On one show he discussed the idea of soulmates saying that we just don't have one soulmate but "on the this earth school we have many soulmates." He says that because we are all souls (our bodies being the vessels) each of us are soulmates. He also mentioned that we can meet many soulmates in our lifetime and our spouses who we equate as soulmates are not necessarily going to 'it'. I thought about that concept for a while and I think I see what he is saying. There are people that we meet daily in various cicumstances that we 'connect' with. Whether it is male or female there is a bond shared and many instances it is like you knew that person for a long time. I believe that 'soulmate' came into your life for a time to show you something about your path in life or to help lead you onto the Divine path.

Ideal I believe that the question that you are actually asking is whether or not there is someone out there for you. The answer is yes. I think that each person in this lifetime that you meet teaches you more about yourself and prepares you for the soulmate that you will ultimately connect with and build a family with.

I know that you didn't ask for advice but I would like to offer this to you: always look at each bad relationship in a reflective mode. Look at what you could have done better so the next time you can improve. There also maybe instances that the man just wasn't ready to receive the goodness within you and in that case you have to let go. I hope this helps http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif.

Happy Holidays to you as well Ideal08. Here are my opinions on this topic...

1) Yes, I do believe that there is a such thing as a soul mate.
2) I think that just because you have a soul mate, it does not mean that you will end up with this person. Example: if your sould mate turns out to be a good friend (but you don't know that this is your "soul mate" and you two end up in an argument that ends the friendship-then there is a strong chance that you two won't be together unless you mend the relationship and move past the "friendship" level to the "couples" level. There are a lot of "ifs", "whats", "hows", etc. involved.
3) Yes I think that this person could die before you meet him. With soul mates, we should remember that there could be age differences, geographical differences, etc. involved.
4) I believe in second chances, so if you let them pass by, I think that they will come back into your life, but not necessarily under the terms that you would like it to be.

Good luck on your quest for a good man and a great relationship. I was once in the same boat, but it turns out that the one that I'm with now is my best friend! Talk about coincidences. But I know that it'll all work out.

Peace and God Bless
Classy_Diva5

AMEN, ESPECIALLY #3

Soul Mate
 

I believe that there is a person that is a complete and exact fit for me. Someone that will understand me to the depths of my spirit. However, I do believe that it is so very easy to miss your soul mate because you are not in a position to recieve that person. God might have already sent my soul mate however I was not ready to recieve him.

Peace and Love

I am afraid that I won't know my soulmate when I meet him. I have decided what qualities my soulmate should have. When my real soulmate comes along without those qualities, I will probably ignore him.

A friend of mine and I were speaking about this a few weeks ago, here is what I have concluded:

I believe in soulmates! I just don't believe that there is ONE person out there in this WHOLE WIDE WORLD that is roaming around waiting for some chance encounter and that the moment will be right and we will fall deeply in love. No, I don't believe that. I believe that there a thousands, if not millions of people that you can become compatible with, the question basically is whether or not it is a mutual attraction. I think that the term 'soulmate' is so romanticized that people think that that means that this person is MEANT solely for them, for noone else, and when they meet this person, there will bells/whistles/fireworks. I think that throughout life, we may have SEVERAL soulmates, and that circumstances (read=God) decide(s) whether or not that person will become your life partner. You know how many times I have thought that 'he is the right one'? Ya know what, I have come to the realization that each time, I was right! He was the right one for me at that time, and when it was time for us to part ways, it ended.

I think that when I meet the person that I will spend my life with, it might not possibly be the one that I envisioned, but that he will "complete me", if you will, and I will know that this is my 'soulmate'. This doesn't necessarily mean that we have everything in common, etc. etc. but that we click and grow together.:)

I definitely think that there is one person with whom you can be supremely happy. I would call that person my "soul mate".

However, I think that there are several people besides this "soul mate" that you can be with and still lead a happy, fulfilled, complete life. Just because you can't find your ideal person, doesn't mean that you can't be happy. Relationships involve give and take and what you thought was a "deal-breaker" a couple of years ago may not seem so important at the present.

With that being said, I also think that sometimes two people who never would have considered each other can grow to be soul mates. Sometimes sharing the challenges of life with someone can cause your eyes to open and see that your "soul mate" is the one right beside you.

I found mine!
 

After years of dating and mediocre relationships, I am happy to say that I found my soulmate. It was my high school sweetheart. We had been apart for a few years when we reunited. But it was like we had never spent a day apart. We still knew each other in ways that my recent dates had not even come close.

He knew how I ordered my sandwiches and to take his shoes off when he entered my house. He knew where I kept my lip gloss in the car and how long it took me to get ready for a date.

I have to admit that I'd thought about him a few times while I was dating others, but I never thought that we would have a chance to get back together. But it happened, and we were married on March 15, 2003.

So, believe me, soulmates exist, and although you can succeed with another, there is no one who will ever know you like that one person who you are destined to be with.

I believe in soul mates, I just think mine died or something! Just kidding...I do believe in soul mates!

That was just too funny to me. LMAO.

That's how I feel sometimes, but I know that the Lord is going to bless me with someone eventually. It's just not my time yet! :D

I believe that soulmates do exist... and the feeling is so intense that you'll know without a shadow of doubt. It's more than just love, it's pure acceptance for who that person is. So many times, we get caught up in wanting the brother that is 6'4", 250, brown skin, bald head, with the sexy eyes... and when we get caught up in the surface, we get short changed on the deeper person. Mistake number two would be looking for a soulmate. We as women shouldn't look for a soulmate, but pray for God to send our soulmates into our lives. Looking to hard for a man that has everything, will again leave us being short changed on the deeper person. Now ladies, we are all worthy of a wonderful man, and I am not saying by any means lower your standards of what you are worth... but be willing to at least get to know people that are not quite there yet. Not saying a relationship has to evolve, but getting to know new people allows you to have a better understanding of what type of person you do and don't want in your life. Also, have patience, and be able to recognize potential. There are good black men out there... but many are diamonds in the rough... and sometimes it takes a good black woman to brings that sparkling diamond out... Try not to let one or two bad expereinces with our brothers leave you totally bitter. They need us as much as we need them. Much love and continue to have faith in our black men.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOO for the soulmates!! There is no such thing. I try to believe, but as the days pass, I am more convinced that there is no such thing. How do you know that the person that you meet is your "soul mate?" How do you know if you are theirs? How long before you meet them? It's all a hoax.

Do I sound bitter? :p :o :D

RefinedDiva, not at all.. lol

I do believe in soulmates. I think that everyone has a person that they belong with or that is sent to them to help them become a better person. :)

:)

Call me a hopeless romantic, but I do believe that God created that perfect someone who is just for me. There is that one and only perfect man out there that was intended truly for me. I also believe that we will meet. I don't see how someone could be intended for me and be living in a hut in the middle of Siberia at the same time. If he is for me, he will be in a position for me to be with him.

I do believe that people let their perfect someone, their other half, their soulmate, whatever pass them by. Your soul mate could have been the little kid across the street who you used to play red light, green light with but never liked when he grew up because he was only a mechanic and you wanted a lawyer, doctor, or investment banker.

Re: Soul Mates . . . Do they exist?
 

Soror...do you believe in soulmates now?

Re: Re: Soul Mates . . . Do they exist?
 

I absolutely do, Soror, I absolutely do!!! :D I have been on the phone since 10:35pm EST, and just got off. I'm wired and giddy beyond all belief right now. I can't BELIEVE it. I honestly can't. It's funny how life has a way of working out. FINALLY!!!!!

Re: Re: Re: Soul Mates . . . Do they exist?
 

Damn you for dangling the BAIT all up in my face and not staying awake to tell me the story!!!! :mad: :p :mad: :p


But I believe too!!!:D

Well....
 

To tell you the truth, I dont believe in soulmates. I dont believe in fate or destiny either. I agree with Redefined Diva..I think its all a hoax.

I believe that there is somebody for every body because some fo the most unattractive people are happily in love, so I do believe in that, but until I see different (with someone else or myself) or feel different (within my own relationships), thats as far as its gonna go.

Q

I do believe in soulmates. I believe a person can have several - male and female. I mean I have two very close girlfriends one Ive known since I was 4 or five and the other I met in high school. I think that they are my soulmates because they know me so well and when I explain things to them they just understand right away. It's just easy with them. My boyfriend too. I think he's a perfect match for me. I mean I'm 20 and he's 21 but we have a really good relationship and we always "see green curtains together" (as my uncle would say.) I'm always in the mood for what he's in the mood for and we dont argue about very significant things when we do argue. He knows what's up with me all the time. And I only anticipate that we grow to know each other even better.

Even someone you might have sat beside on the plane and had a really good conversation with and never saw them again could have been your soulmate. They might have said something that left a deep imprint on your life. Memberfriends who have line sisters, dont you think some of your linesisters were your soulmates? You were destined to spend that time together and take that wonderful step.

What do you think now Ideal?

***Throwing rocks at this thread***

BOOO-HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

AWWWW....WOOWOOWOOOOOO

I still agree with what I said a year ago on the first page. *SMH*

I believe soulmates exist....I believe I have met mine...but we are far apart...and I am with someone ....
Its...hard...to swallow...but when the appropriate time for us to take the chance...we both hestiated...and now...we both are just hurting....

....most of my friends and family are pure examples that they do exist...

I do think that they exist. And I do know who mine is, but we are not able to make it work right now. We're in different places and it's just hard. I'm not really sure I'm willing to put in all of the work for it anymore. *shrug* I'm tired.

I HAD to intrude because this is so near and dear to my heart-YES, there are soul mates-I believe that with all my being.

BTW-HAPPY B-Day Ideal08!

I fell so bad
 

for women at times. If its not one thing its another for women. Now you have to wonder if the gay you date is gay, bi or on the DL.

I think a soul mate is one that you can share everything - all your hurts, secrets, dreams, aspirations, short comings, hate, love and sorrow. A soul mate is one that balances you and makes you feel there is nothing that you can't share with this person.

I don't think you find your soul mate by searching but he or she comes to you because God already has it in the plan. Ladies, wait on the Lord and he will direct your path.

Re: I fell so bad
 

^5 Professor! Thanks! :D ;)

Soul Mates . . . Do they exist?
 

I firmly believe in soul mates, and let me tell you why. My mom met my father when she was just 12 years old (he was 13)and she knew then that he was her soul mate and they didn't even speak. Now if you are like me you would initially think she was a stalker, but she just knew and 42 years later (married happily for 34 of them) they are just as much in love then as they are now. I grew up thinking that that is how love goes and sadly I have had my heart broken searching for that one soul mate, a love that hits you upside your head so strong that you wake up happily married for ten years with 3.5 kids. To say the least I have grown out of my idealisc fantasy about love. I am not bitter and yes my soul mate and I found eachother. I still believe in love and I now know three things about soul mates:

1. everyone gets two great loves of their life, 1 that you let go of and one that let's go of you.
2. soul mates move in and out of your life, you have to be open to the possibility of having such a connection with someone that it scares you (everyone has a little stalker in them).
3. if everyone waits until they find their soul mate to get married one of two things could happen, either the divorce rate would be significantly lower of the number of unmarried women would be astromnomical.

Great Topic!

Re: Soul Mates . . . Do they exist?
 

Soror, I think that there is no such thing as a single person who is one's soul mate. I think that there are "soul types" for lack of a better term. This means, I think that there are types of men that any woman could happily spend the rest of her life with. I think that it's really a matter of just meeting your "type" and there are more than one man who fit any given type so no I don't believe in a single solitary person who will be a "soul mate."

Don't be bitter. I understand what you are going through and have felt the same way. At this point, I just don't care anymore. I found that I was spending so much of time focusing on what I don't have that life was passing me by. I know that it's hard and there is not enough hobbies in the world to take the place of a man and a good relationship but just try to focus on the positives in life.

SC

Can your relationship with your "soul mate" strictly remain on the platonic level? Or does your "soul mate" have to be your "man/woman"?

:confused:

sure - look at us - you've yet to give me any :D :p

I think it can be a platonic thing. I have a friend that I am confident was my soulmate. I always prefaced by saying he will be my soulmate husband or soulmate friend. We are just destined to be a part of one another's life. We just click.

LMAO @ Professor! :D

He He Hell! :D

:p

I guess so, huh?!?!?

No. People can develop feelings for people that are no good for them, never mind someone who could change their life in magical ways. If I felt intrinsically connected to someone on all the requisite levels (which, I would think would define a soulmate), and had an idea that they felt something similar toward me, it wouldn't be possible for me not to go for it.

...if I thought the person didn't feel the same way, I could maintain a platonic friendship, but it probably have to be at a distance for my peace of mind.