getting letters
 

hey everyone. im still a new member and just learning about all things greek so i have yet another question...

what does it mean for a guy who is in a fraternity to give you his letters? i keep hearing people talking about it and feel weird asking what it means... has anyone recieved letters before??

I know I've never received any, but I know sisters that have. It depends on how they give it to you. There are some of my sisters that just get rush shirts because the boys hand them out. If you are dating a guy and he gives you his letters, he is serious about you. There's also being lavaliered by the guy and being pinned by his fraternity. Pinning is usually only done when he is VERY serious about you and there's an actual ceremony and everything (one of my sisters just had this happen). Hope this helps!

A guy giving you his letters means different things for different fraternities and even for different chapters. My boyfriend is a Pi Kapp and "dropped letters" almost 4 years ago (god I feel old now). It was a big deal, not many guys in his chapter had done that. He told me that it meant that his brothers should give me the same respect as they give him because I mean so much to him.
Some fraternities and chapters I know actually have a ritual like ceramony for it.

when I was in school I was given my boyfriend's letters- he lavaliered me and from then on I was allowed to wear his fraternity letters, like say a hat or a shirt with his fraternity's name. I wasn't allowed to wear or have the crest, however. But that is understandable. So basically at my school being given letters is a big deal- it means that he loves you as much as his fraternity- something he has made a life long commitment to.
Rush shirts and dance shirts aren't the same, anyone could wear those, but when I got my FARMHOUSE (His fraternity) hat, I was excited, especially since it was his pledge house, which was a HUGE DEAL!!! :)
BTW We aren't together now.

At my school, there are steps in inter-fraternity/sorority dating:

1. Lettering

2. Lavaliering

3. Pinning

4. Engagement

Its always been a HUGE deal in my chapter if a sister is lettered/lavaliered/pinned by her greek boyfriend. My boyfriend lettered me last March.

I've been lavaliered and have seen many of my sisters do the same. It is a big deal especially depending on the fraternity. Some of the fraternities at my school make it a huge deal and most of the time it is very surprising when it happens because they have weird superstitions about it.

I was lavaliered by a Sigma Nu my first year....unfortunately we aren't together anymore....They didn't do anything to him because he was an alumni member but when we showed up at a party one night, a bunch of the guys got on their knees and sang to me in one of the rooms. It was great.

I think another thing is that getting a shirt with screenprinted letters or the name of the fraternity is a whole lot different than being given block letters that are sewn on the shirt. I have a bunch of event shirts from FIJI, Sigma Nu, and Lambda Chi, however, the only time I was able to wear the block letters of Sigma Nu was when I had letters around my neck.

But it does vary from campus to campus, fraternity to fraternity...

Ditto what everybody else said :)

I know at some schools no one lavaliers or "shirts" (like mine) it is just pinning..and that's an engagement.

1. dating dating dating
2. dating daing dating
3. dating dating dating
3. pinning= you have the privilage to wear his letters :D Plus, it normally coincides w/ "The ring" or should come shortly thereafter

Is there any kind of girl-to-guy equivalent?

Where I went for my undergrad, I have never seen this practice. I don't think GLOs in my alma mater did this. It wasn't until I went to grad school in a different school that it was more prevalent.

Now here are some terms that I wasn't exposed to until grad school that I don't understand. What is a "Date Dash" and a "Date Derby"?


http://smilies.networkessence.net/s/cwm/cwm/uhoh.gif

We have an unofficial letter ceremony for Sweethearts. I know our east coast and midwest chapters do it a lot more than the westsiders (commmited relationship in college out west? Ha!).

I was....
 

My boyfriend is a Kappa Sigma and on my birthday he "dropped" or as some of you may know it "lavaliered" me. I have heard of it as one of two things. 1)It can mean when a girl means as much to a guy as his fraternity and/or 2) It can mean the next step will be engagement. It was so beautiful the way he did it. I cried. I am one of the Kappa Sig's Sweethearts and I love every single one of them. They were I think just about as excited as I was that he dropped me. My boyfriend is the best guy I know.

-Lindsey
Kappa Sigma Girl Always

letters from your boyfriend
 

when i was in school, getting lavaliered was like going steady-like wearing your high school sweethearts senior class ring. getting pinned was like being "promised", or pre-engaged. we used to do candlelights-the girl would leave an anonymous note on a sisters desk asking her to make a sign saying"candlelight tonite after supper" and then after supper the president would start the candle pass by saying" lavaliered", we would sing a song as the candle was passed and if the girl was lavaliered when the candle came to her she would blow it out, if it was not blown out by the time it got back to the prez she would say "pinned" and around it would go again, if not blown our on that pass, the prez would say"engaged" and around it would go . it was exciting.
if they were pinned or engaged, sometimes the fraternity would come over and serenade her later that same evening.

My boyfriend just pinned me last night (on our two year anniversary). I'm really excited, it means a lot (basically what everyone else already said.) He was really cute...he was like, "Will you be my sweetheart?" All my sorority sisters were really happy for me!

Ive seen a couple of girls lavaliered by the Sigma Chi's here and it was a really sweet thing. Of course after the guy gets like attacked by his brothers, I saw one that got tied up and had like everything in the fridge thrown on him lol it was funny but they are sharing the letters with his gf so he has to pay some kind of price lol :)


Nichole

I got to wear letters since I was a Rose Queen for Pi Kappa Phi. One of the brothers had a special set made for me! It was so sweet, and such an honor!

I'm really happy that all of you are excited and able to get letters from fraternities. Majority of the ones I know would NEVER let someone outside of their brotherhood wear their letters, its like disrespect for the other members.
I personally wouldn't want to wear them only because I didn't earn them like they did during their pledge process and I know I wouldn't let someone besides my sorority sisters wear MY letters, because they didn't experience the things I did earning them, just like I didn't experience what he went through.
I know allot of you are saying getting to wear his letters is like saying he loves you as much as his fraternity, but frankly, I think its best to keep the two separate..you never know what might happen down the line.

CatstarESP4, a 'date dash' or 'date derby' is just a date party. I've been alumna for so long now, but my first date party was when I was still an Alpha. I was set up by one of my fellow Alphas and we all went to the date party together. At the time we didn't have a theme, but most of the time date parties have themes. Like 80's or 50's, some theme and you and your date dress accordingly. Date parties are pretty fun. Hope this helped.

As for letters from a frat. One of my sisters was lavaliered by her boyfriend who if I remember correctly was a Sigma Chi. We did a candle passing for her. What I recollect was that by her recieving the lavaliere, she was now able to wear his letters, in fact she wore the Sigma Chil lavaliere instead of her ADPi one. I'm not sure if this is still practiced anymore since it has been awile.

Brianna

One of my sisters is lavaliered to a Sigma Pi and she always wears his lavalier

I know that up until the early 90's people at my school pinned as well as lavaliered, but I never hear about people from my school getting pinned anymore. Some guys still lavaliere, and my boyfriend gave me his LXA lavaliere at my graduation party on the day I graduated from college (it was very sweet--my whole family and many of my sisters were there watching! All the non-Greeks were confused, and wanted to know if I was engaged). After that, I could wear his letters sweatshirts or anything that had letters on it. I put his letters on a chain with my own lavaliere, and I still wear them sometimes.

I know some houses have to "vote" on the girl, but since he was technically an alum already, he just decided to lavaliere me. I have also heard of some guys getting completely abused by their brothers after giving thier girlfriend letters, but nothing happened to him! One of my sisters had gotten lavaliered by one of my boyfriend's brothers just a few weeks earlier, and we were so excited! It was a very fun time......:D

Everyone else pretty much has it covered.

Adding my experience here - I was lavaliered even though my boyfriend (now husband) wasn't greek. :) He had heard about the whole lavaliering/pinning thing, and asked me for details. A few days later, he presented me with a little heart-shaped pendant as a lavalier. My sorority had a candle pass for me just the same as if I'd gotten a fraternity lavalier. We never quite got to the pinning stage - we got engaged first. ;) So you don't have to miss out if your boyfriend isn't greek.

Oh, a "date dash" (at least at my school) wasn't just a date party... it was a date party where you had very little time to find a date. "It's Thursday... we're going out to dinner this Saturday, bring a date." Usually means the social chair messed up... :p

Most gentleman don't just toss their letters out to any woman they've kissed, and a lot of chapters have very specific rules about when a woman is allowed to be pinned. In on fraternity chapter I know of, a brother who wanted to pin his girlfriend was asked if he was planning on proposing to her, and if so, when?

I think an issue here is the different between NPC/NIC orgs and NPHC/NALFO/MCGLO orgs. Pinning/lettering/lavaliering have been traditions for us since our founding.

I know nothing about this subject (my org, and most lglo's, don't "get lavaliered" or pinned by other orgs) so I have a couple questions:

1) When you get lavaliered by a guy, does he give you a lavalier with his letters, or yours?

2) When you get "pinned", what kind of pin does the guy give you? His official fraternity badge/pin? A non-official pin with his letters on it?

3) If you break up, are you supposed to give the lavalier/pin back? Are you still allowed to wear his letters if you break up?

Just curious cause I don't know anything about these traditions.

1) He gives you a lavalier with his letters. A lot of girls will wear this along with their lavalier, with a spacer bead between them, or one on a longer/shorter chain.

2) Generally most gentleman I've seen give the girl his actual pin. However, many organizations have their own sweetheart pin. In some cases, it's a replica of their pin. In others, it's a sweetheart pin. (AEPi has a gorgeous fleur-de-lis sweetheart pin). Most fraternities have an official "sweetheart" pin.

3) If you break up, common courtesy would be to give the stuff back. I certainly wouldn't wear his letters anymore, and I don't think anyone else would either - it'd be really tacky.

When you get lavaliered, you get a lavalier with his letters.

When you get pinned, it depends on the fraternity. With some fraternities he'll give you his badge, with others there's a special pin, and with others it's just not done.

I'm honestly not sure what happens if you break up. I think you would keep a lavalier, or a pin unless it's his actual badge. I'm not sure if you would still be allowed to wear his letters, but I for one would have felt really strange running around in my ex's letters... The women I knew who were lavaliered to fraternity men and then broke up with them, stopped wearing their letters.

I get it now! Thank you for explaining it!

http://burns.thefinaldimension.org/c...ye/stretch.gif

I know that when my Hunny lavaliered me to Phi Sigma Kappa he had to get permission from his brothers first. He actually asked me at his founder's day celebration which made for a very special night. I think the one person there who was more excited than me was my brother, who is a member of the same chapter.

I also wanted to say that even though I've graduated and am in the 'real world' I wear his letters around my neck. I think part of it is that he's still at college and it's such a tangible reminder of how much we love each other.

~Emily