Older women & younger men
 

Sorors and Sista Friends,

I don't know if this has already been discussed on other threads, but I would like to know how do you feel about older women dating younger men.

------------------
You are the master of your own destiny!

The man that is trying to talk to me is 7 years younger than I am. I wonder when I am 37 and he's 30..............geesh. Will he still.....Oh, I don't know what my problem is. Nothing is for certain with anything or anybody. He is very intelligent and quite charming. He is also sort of playful. Which is not bad...it's-it's. Oh, I... gosh! He said something to me that just left my mouth hanging open. He said that my problem is that I have been dealing with oooooolder men for so long until they have drained all of the fun/youthfulness out of me. I thought,"the nerve of him." I wonder why is it that I can never just enjoy the "right now." I just.............
Am I confusing you?

------------------
You are the master of your own destiny!

There's NOTHING wrong with it!!! (He is legal isn't he?)lol http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif That may be just what you need to add a little spice in your life.

Maybe if you sit down and weigh the pros and cons of the situation you'll find that it's not as bad as it seems. If he's mature enough to handle adult conversation and situations then what's the harm in at least giving it a try? YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE GIRL, GO FOR IT!!!!

I don't see anything wrong with it. A person's age isn't the issue as much as his/her life experiences and maturity. Many times, dating people who are different from you (education, age, social class, etc.) allows you to view things from a totally different perspective, many times pushing you outside of your comfort zone, and forcing you to grow. I think a lot of people's worries about dating men or women who are younger than them stem from the stigmatization (SAT word, yall!!) placed on the situation by society. I say do what's good for you, as long as he/she is legal!! Life is TOO short.

as long as he is mature enough for you and responsible, then it shouldn't be a problem http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

welll..My boyfriend of 3 years is 2 years younger than me..At times YES it can be a problem..As long as u can handle the snikering and stupid remarks(it might be just us) and he is mature then there should be no problem

YEAH, But remember who are the one's who are doing the SNICKERING et.al., those are the ones 9 times out of 10 who DO NOT have a significant other!

Can we say...J-E-A-L-O-U-S-Y? H-A-T-E-R-S?

LOL! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif I agree! Most people that are lonley hate on happy couples anyway. My boyfriend and I are always hearing people saying.."They spend way too much time together", "the does too much this...She does too much that" http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif

We just say that's the true sign of success no matter what it is. People tend to hate on what they're jealous of! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

I think that it is fine, as long as the two of you are compatible. I am usually attracted to guys who are younger than I am. The guy that I "spend time with" http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif is 23 (I'm 25). He's not mature enough (yet?) to be someone that I'd consider marrying, but he'll do for right now http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

he'll do for now! LOL!!!!

When yall get done with that one, let's flip it! LIST YOUR AGE, THEN TELL WHAT IS THE OLDEST AGE FOR A MAN YOU WOULD DATE.

My age: 24
The oldest I would date: 29

It gets scary beyond that point. Think about it, what does an old man want with a tender young thang like me http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/cool.gif . If he's over 30, I feel like he can find someone closer to his age, and if he can't there must be something wrong with him.

[This message has been edited by serenity_24 (edited December 05, 2000).]

I am 32. The oldest man that I have dated was 54. I've never dated anyone younger than me.

------------------
You are the master of your own destiny!

[This message has been edited by Conskeeted19 (edited December 06, 2000).]

I'm 26. I don't think I could date someone older than 40. But who really knows. If he treats me right and sweeps me off my feet, it's all good. As long as he didn't make me feel young, it's cool.

I agree - whatever floats your boat!

I've never dated someone younger than me or within 1-2 year range. I'm 28 and am dating someone that's 34. The greatest age gap for me so far. It's funny because I typically attract men that are about 4+ years older than me. I think the oldest I could date right now would be in his early 40's-any older than that and he'd be older than my parents! (I know we're ghetto fabulous!) http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

I am 28, the oldest I have ever "dated" was 36...

My father was 11 years older than my mother... http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif

The oldest man I have ever dated is 43. I am 26. Typically I don't want younger men, but that is because most younger men that I have come across are still very immature. Now, that's not to say that when I get to be Tina Turner's age, 60 something, that I won't be like her and date a man in his forties. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

If you know in your heart that he's the man for you, then be content in that. It doesn't matter what the world says, but, rather what you know.

I am 24 years old. I have "dated" younger than I (one year). I have gone out with a man 10 years older, but wouldn't be in relationship with someone 7 years older than I.

There's a tremendous gap in years beyond that...our experience will be far different (as if there aren't enough things that need to be learned in a new relationship)...and then to have the years between us...it's just not good.

I think that people should really know a lot about themselves when they enter into relationships with someone else. Before you enter into relationship, you should be complete and not look to someone else (other than the Lord) for completion, for in the Lord we are made perfect.

But I do have a question about this age thing...what are those who actively seek out persons who are many times older/younger looking for? Are they trying to seek out an authority figure or someone to dominate? And if that's the basis (and you would need to examine yourself hard on this one), then why are you seeking that man/woman (since we have brethren on the forum) to make you whole? Please know that you will always come out the "shorty" when you look for wholeness outside of the One who can make you whole?

Okay, I know that I've said a mouthful. I look forward to reading your insightful replies.



[This message has been edited by nikki25 (edited December 06, 2000).]

20 years older? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif
That would be like dating my father! Shoot, he would be old enough to be my dad. I don't think I could/would do that. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif

I think that would be more of an "authoritative" thing, especially for those who did not have a male authoritative person in their life growing up...

That's just MHO!

My points aren't directed at any specific sista here, but I would like to know how all yall feel about these next points. Has anyone else noticed that it's generally accepted by women to date men much younger, but it's frowned upon today by our society when a non-celebrity man does it. He is often viewed upon as having something wrong with him. Suppose he encounters one of yall; and you offer him new ideas, and convince him to explore other things in life-instead of putting all of his time and attention to his job. He may find you intriguing. Is that wrong? Maybe yall just "have it like that" :-D; and he(like all of us) wants a "fresh perspective".

AKA2D,

That's kind of what I was getting at.."like dating my father". I love my dad, but I don't need to date a man who has more in common with my parents than me.

But, I am still anxious to hear from others on the comments we've made, though.

Original...
How old are you, if you don't mind answering?

just curious?
I will date someone older, BUT I would not be into dating someone THAT MUCH OLDER than I am! Nor would I date someone 20 YEARS YOUNGER, either! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/tongue.gif lol

IN RESPONSE to the Original Ape's "questionnaire" http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif...

In MY OPINION, a man or woman dating someone who is nearly a lifetime older/younger than them speaks of some sort of incompletion/"shorty" ness in them. I think that you're referring to the public outcry of the Douglass-Zeta-Jones union.

Again, this "shorty" ness will come into play....he's looking for something in this younger woman...something that he just wasn't complete with on his own...and that's just not healthy...but I think this incompleteness that has manifested itself here is really something that's common in relationships these days and bespeaks of another phenomenon that is troubling... co-dependency.

I'd love to hear comments on that one.



[This message has been edited by nikki25 (edited December 06, 2000).]

I just e-mailed you. :-D

I've always thought that society accepts older men and younger women and not older women and younger men. For some reason I've always been attracted to older men and my father was living with me. We also had a good relationship.

------------------
You are the master of your own destiny!

Just yesterday while I was in the GAP trying on clothes, there was a woman in with her boyfriend. She came out in each outfit to get approval. He came out in an outfit he looked great in and she blurted out "I used to look good in everything too when I was 23" Everyone in the fitting room had to ask how old she was. She was 43 http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif She seemed to have her "groove back" and couldn't have been happier from what I could tell. The down side of that is they seemed to walk out wih two arm loads of clothes and SHE footed the bill. That automaticly made everyone else whisper that the only reason they were together was because she was taking care of him."His Sugar mama"

That's what's wrong these days though, everyone stirring in other people's pot's and haven't really paid any attention to their own! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif

Nothing Wrong with Dating a younger man the women I have dated on the average have been 5 - 8 years older than me. That is because women tell me I intmidate women my age! *Yeah Right* but that is what they tell me so by chance or will of God I am always hooking up with older women. They seem to be on my level as well as far as it goes to settling down. The oldest I have dated is 35 and that was by 11 years. It was Like Whoa!

Finally The Sphinxpoet has come Back to the Alpha Kappa Alpha Message Board!!!!

-Sphinxpoet

For me, in both cases it would depend on the fella.

If he's younger, but the conversation didn't have an immature vibe, then cool.

The oldest guy I could see myself dating would be about 40, maybe 43, if he was really special. If he's older than 40 and still trying to pretend that he's my age, there's a problem.

Original Ape, don't be keepin' us in suspense. Just because AKA2D was the one to ask the question doesn't mean she's the only one that wants to know the answer.

Miss. Mocha

equizit,

I'm feelin you! We pay too much attention to whats in otha folks pots and don't sniff and smell that ours burnin up!

and yes

ORIGINAL APE we won't to know yo age. What's up wit dat? Why you in avoidance?

HE HE HE http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif

If we can list our ages, you can list yours. Bump this emailing crap!!!
http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

I am soooooo glad that I'm not the only 30-something in here!!! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

It was put to me this way by a man at least 7 years my junior:

"Don't hate me 'cuz I'm soooo young. See, when you're 50, I'll be 43... And my back will still be good..."

Addendum:

"...and I probably won't need Vitamin "V"..."

Soror AKA_ Monet,


OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good point girl. Now I am really feeling you. 911,911 I have just received helped! Ha Ha, He He,

------------------
You are the master of your own destiny!

I'm 35. I'll be 36 in April.

I aint tryin' to avoid, boo; I just don't like to give dat kind of info 'bout maself. People are so judgemental; and it they gone be dat way, I say makem' work for day info!!

Hehehehehehehehe http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

What's all that about? :-D Why yall wanna know MY age? Everybody didn't list theirs!

I have a crush on this guy. He's 2 and a half years younger than me. We're in our early twenties I feel unconfortable about it though. He's younger than me. Gross!:p