What would you do if your daughter....
 

Happy Thanksgiving Sorors and Sisterfriends! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif I recently talked to my line sister, and as we relived our pledging experience from six years ago, she told me that her mother had JUST gotten over her pledging AKA (her mom is a Delta). So, my question is, what would you sorors do if, in the future, your daughter wanted to pledge something other than AKA?

I think about this all the time, Sorors. My mother is a Zeta, (active member for 48 years).Growing up all I knew was ZPB,when I told her I wanted to be an AKA she replied that we all had to be what we wanted. She did ask why and we talked about it at length. My mom never tried to convince me to change my mind, if she had perhaps .........

My favorite niece, whom I have groomed for AKA decided to pledge ZPB last year. Lawd, was I hurt. She told me about the AKA chapter on her campus and how she didn't see herself fitting in, well deja vue. I told her we all have to be what we want too. (My Moms words coming back to haunt me)

I'm keeping legacy articles and photos to share with my daughter. I know she'll make her own decision but I'm going to be hoping and praying she chooses AKA. Happy Thanksgiving.

I'd be happy with whatever she chose as long as she has done her research and sincerely feels that's her best choice. That includes AKA. Of course I want her to be my soror, but I don't want her to be an AKA just because "mommy is an AKA" (all of you "As the Sands Burn" fans can relate - the "Mona" syndrome).

But, I do have to throw this out there in jest - I almost fainted when she Ooooped under the influence of a "renegade" DST cousin... whew. But, I still have 13 more years to get over that one.

Happy Thanksgiving Day and take care everyone!!

[This message has been edited by tickledpink (edited November 23, 2000).]

Since I don't have any children, yet; but I do have two nieces. I hope that they, including my daughter, if I am blessed to have one, will CHOOSE THE ONLY WAY! THE ONLY WAY I KNEW AND MY MOTHER KNEW TO GO! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/tongue.gif

But, if they choose to SETTLE, then that will be okay, also. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif

LOL

***shaking my head AND holding my heart while pondering at the notion***


LOL

[This message has been edited by AKA2D '91 (edited November 23, 2000).]

**LOL at Soror AKA2D**

Soror, I feel the same way you do. I don't have any children, but I do have two nieces. I, too, hope they will choose the BEST WAY TO GO! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/tongue.gif

However, I will be honest. If I had a daughter and she said she wanted to pledge something other than AKA, I would be disappointed but I would support her. It wouldn't be the biggest mistake she could make, but it would rank in the top five. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif



[This message has been edited by AKAtude (edited November 24, 2000).]

I like that, too... among THE TOP 5!

Yes ma'am, you are so CORRECT!

My folks said that I can "go" anyway I wanted to, but they are only payin' for "ONE"...

Then, I really wasn't interested in any other organization because there were only 2 at my school, Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. and Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. Although, I had numerous Delta friends, I will always cherish the fact that I chose to go the AKA-way.

Moreover, I'm a huge legacy and during family gatherings, I would've caught HELL if I decided to "go" another way... NO, it's not like I couldn't stand up to the potential "pressure" for makin' my own decisions--It's more like I enjoyed becoming a part of my "PHAMILY'S" traditions... My Great-grand parents, grandparents AND parents worked too hard so I could enjoy the fruits of their labor. It's called HERITAGE... And, why blast it all away for a brief encounter during college when we are suppose to be making a "lifetime" commitment?

Now, it's my turn to help future generations prosper and maintaining the "conservative" sustaining traditions held so dear to my phamily... Why do you think the Rockafellers, Duponts and Kennedys will always be at the top??? It's time that we, black folk start fostering our "phamily" treasure...

(sorry for the length--got alot on my mind)

i would be dissappointed if my daughter didn't see the beauty and splender and downright priviledge of being an AKA woman http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif i would hope that she would have the same high standards as i do and after years of seeing mommy do work and bond in sisterhood with the sorors that she would want to share in that bond, and continue the tradition of excellence. many times children of legacies know they have an interest in one or another organization if they are exposed at a young age, so hopefully my daughter will be impressed by the quality of the women and the amount of service that my sorority has to offer. if not its her loss, but i'll still leave her something in the will, lol.

I GUESS... http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/frown.gif

http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

Wow, your parents paid? *lol* I wish I could be as lucky! If I were to make it, I wouldn't even think of asking my folks. I guess it has something to do with there being NO greeks in our family.

Parent's not paying? lol...
Shoot, my mother gladly paid for me! If i had to do it myself, I would be Me Phi Me...lol

well..."since my money is green, that's all i'm paying for"-Soror Yvonne, my mom! i'm going to expose her to Spelman (that better be the only blue and white she wears http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif hoping she'll go there or another HBCU. and hopefully she'll see the love i have for AKA will love it the way i did growing up. if my child goes another way, i'll try and suck it up. notice i said try...

ttt

Greetings to the beautiful ladies of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. If you don't mind me intruding to gain some knowledge on a subject. My sister is an AKA and has two daughters ages 4 and 6. Last week I had my nieces stay over and I took them out with me and some Greek friends. When they saw two of your sorors they immediately began to skee-wee their hearts out . It happens that my sister taught them that and a cute chant. Your sorors thought it was cute, but my other friends said that it was inappropriate . It's not the first time I've seen this happen, as a matter of fact it's common to see little girls imitating their mothers calls, strolls, etc. Do you think it's wrong to prejudice a child to a particular fraternity/sorority? Or do you believe if you “bring up a child in the right way they will not depart”? I plan to put my sons on line at the age of 3...lol!


Compliments of marquise 1911

I know folks that have their little children (<7 years old) doing all the "cutesy stuff", but once they get into the higher grades, such as 5th+ grade, SOME parents make the kids stop. But then, I have also heard about the little kids arguing over who's better between different GLO's--and it's worse than those in the organization...

So, I do think at some level it's cute, like the little T-shirts and stuff. But at another level, like chants, calls, and all that other stuff, is irrelevant, over the top and uncalled for and may need some "intervention"...

Well now that I have a daughter, I really hope that she understands there is only ONE way to go!! :D

My grandmother and mother are AKAs, I was named after AKA (A-K-A are 3 of the 5 letters in my name and in that order!), and my daughter would be 4th generation AKA!

You know ever since I can remember I was told AKA, so I never had the desire to do anything else. I will train my daughter the same way, a little brainwashing is good for the youth! ;)

Well, we all know your little legacy will be built from ground up before she was born--like right after you got the ultrasound!!! :D ;) :cool:

And I know some folks let they kids do all the "calls", "chants", only wear the "constitutionally dictated colors", have them sit in chapter meetings--so now they know all the secret stuff--and short of an all out MIP for them, these kids goto school and argue and fight over which group is better and why... Forget the fact that it's about community service.

Then when they get into college, the kids think they know something and they really don't and the parents are wondering why?

If anything, if I had a legacy, ('cuz for me it'd be the same way as your family), as soon as my daughter was a teenager, I would make sure (if willing) one of the undergrad chapter sorors would become her mentor--to like, "school her" on "some things"...

To answer the original question, I didn't do anything. :D

*Just thought I'd throw a little joke in there*

I was just thinking about this!
 

Excellent topic! :)

Well, to reiterate what some sorors have already said, I don't have children, but if I did (namely a daughter), I'd *DEFINITELY* want her to be an AKA (and, if I had a boy, I'd want him to be an Alpha). No matter what, though, I'd want her to do her research, not just AKA overall, but for the local chapter as well. And, I'd want her to do it on her own (*not* pledge legacy) if she did decide on AKA. She'd have to choose what she'd feel would be right for her. But, I'm not gonna lie, though; if she chose to "go another way", I'd be disappointed. :(

I've actually already had a taste of this with my little sister (she graduates from high school in May). She said a couple of years ago that if she (and her best friend) would be pledging anything, it'd be Delta. Now, that I'm an AKA, maybe I can persuade her otherwise before it's too late. :p

I also have a teenage cousin who has expressed interest in being a Delta (my aunt enrolled her in a local chapter's "Cinderella" program last year; it seems like a done deal). Our family is an Alpha one (me being the latest addition), so she's gonna be the odd one out, but I'll support her nevertheless. ;)

I also have sorors in my chapter who could've pledged legacy in the other 3 NPHC sororities (including a line sister whose mom is a Delta; she and her sisters are both AKAs; I'm guessing their mom was less than thrilled but supportive). I guess the moral of the story is that people have to decide what's the best fit for them, even if it is the wrong thing (j/k). :p

This is also something *else* I think about frequently. I think it's cute...to a point (i.e. when the child gets to be a certain age when they should "know better"). I plan to do so if and when I ever have kids, but I'll be sure to let them know when "enough is enough". I don't see this being any different than people who raise their kids to like certain sports teams and/or "encourage" them to play certain sports (to live out their parent's {namely father's} dream of being a superstar athlete). It's like I mentioned in my previous reply: it all eventually boils down to what the individual wants, regardless of *STRONG* parental "pressure". Doesn't mean I won't *try*, though. :p

I don't have any children, but I won't intentionally influence their choice to pledge a certain organization. I'll let my daughter know my reasons for joining, but leave the decision up to her.

I'm legacy, but still felt like I had a choice. I know that my family would have been supportive if I went another way.

I love AKA and Spelman so much. Spelman was an invaluable experience that helped to mold me into the person I am today. Alpha Kappa Alpha has proved to be just an AWESOME experience. I don't have a daughter, but if I did, I would want her to have that.

Are there really other options? :confused: J/K.... or am I?

Really, when/if I am blessed with a daugther, I won't let her in on more than she should know before it's time. Some kids don't know the cutoff point. I doubt that I will have my daughter walking around skee-weeing and whatnot, but an occasional pink and green outfit won't hurt. (I mean, the colors are always in season, right? ;) ) I wouldn't want my daughter to have the "Mona" syndrome and be full of herself. That is NOT a good quality. But I do want to set an example for her so see what a wonderful sorority that I am a part of. That way, her choice would be dayum near solidified by age 5. lol!

I want to build a long-lasting legacy of AKA women, as I am the first in my family. I love this sorority SO dearly that I couldn't imagine my daughter, grand-daughter, etc. choosing anything else. I can be honest and say that I don't know how supportive I would be. I mean, after it's done, there is nothing that can be done. However, it might take me a while to accept it.

Re: I was just thinking about this!
 

Naaaaaaaaaawwww Soror! If that's what she wants to do...LET HER DO IT!

That's how folks get caught up! We don't need to persuade and justify why she or any female should become a member of ALLLLLLLPHA KAPPA ALLLLLLLLPHA!

Don't do it! Leave her be! :o

Ditto what she said!!

At 41, my time's sort of running out. But if I do marry and adopt, I plan to give her positive reinforcement towards AKA. That would also include encouragement to support events, whether on the UG or grad level.

Not married and no children. I am THE FIRST Alpha Kappa Alpha woman in my family and I worked really hard to get my letters. It was a personal decision for me and it will be a personal decision for her. I would expose my daughter to the sorority at a young age but let her come to her own conclusion as to what organization she should strive for.

Of course, I would want to keep the "pink and green" legacy alive but all that matters to me is that my daughter is happy. If she chooses to search for the pink and green light, I will support her but she will have to work just as hard as I did to get my letters. Nothing will be handed to her. Legacy or not, she will know the true meaning of sisterhood in her journey to AKAland.

I want my daughter to be proud of Alpha Kappa Alpha and not fight over which sorority is the best. She will know which one is the best by looking at me and my Sorors. She will see what we have endured and overcome in our 100 years of existence. That is all she will need to see to make her decision when she goes to college. She will know that it takes a special type of woman to wear her 20 pearls. She will understand why Mommy gets tears in her eyes everytime she sings the Hymn or hums to trees.
Just my .08 cents.
:)

P.S. Sorry y'all but the neoism is coming out in me and I'm getting amped b/c it will be my first Founders' Day on Sun.!

Ummm this little girl right here-------->http://pic12.picturetrail.com/VOL414.../119691402.jpg...will NOT be pledging any other sorority. And that is the end of that!

:p :p :D

Because we are "connected at the hip" she is exposed to our organization alot. And if she did one day happen to lose her mind and join another organization I would look something like this::mad: . I definitely wouldn't pay for it and I am not going to lie, I would be salty for a LONG time. I would rather her not join a sorority at all than to join one other than AKA. I wouldn't stop talking to her or anything crazy like that, but I would be upset for a minute.

Skee, stop!!! and tell me why is she so cute? She is so supercute!! Awwwww.....

Soror, I have to tell you that Babyperson SKEE is beautiful.:) And I know you'll do a good job laying the framework for her, and she will carry it from there.

Re: Re: I was just thinking about this!
 

Get that said, Soror!

If/when I'm blessed with a daughter, she will know, learn, and grow to love AKA by my actions and involvement. If she decides to go another way, I'll support her in my heart because I would rather she do what was in her heart and not something just to appease me.

But she will KNOW that my $$$ is only salmon pink and apple green :cool: .

Crashing to say that she is adorable! Too precious :D

Now you know what?? She is absolutely TOO DURN PRECIOUS!!!!!

Soror Skee, Your.butt.is. koo-koo!


Cute lil Legacy! :D
she even has on pearl earrings. :o :D

Thanks for the compliments sorors. :D

Re: Re: I was just thinking about this!
 

I know, soror; I'm not (I was semi-joking...thought that was clear...my bad). All I'm saying is that it would be disappointing, that's all. :(

And, Soror SKEEphistAKAte: Cute pic!!! :)

Oh she is precious!!! I have a 3 year old and she throw's up the "ibee" with her head held back and little nose up. The first time she did it I screamed louder and clapped and kissed her harder than when she used the potty on her own.
She steps because she was with me several times at step practice.
I don't expect her to be anything but AKA. I look forward to her being my Soror and shopping for all things pink and green. I didn't have that experience with my mom ( I'm a first generation college graduate).
A daughter is special but a Soror Daughter...now how sweet that would be.
My son likes to bark like his Dad, although it sounds more like a cute puppy.
I don't really have a preference for him, either Alpha, Kappa, or Que.

I have a step-daughter who is my heart; however, I hope my service in Alpha Kappa Alpha will be the foundation that assists her in making her decision when she's in college (her Godmother is a Delta and one of my closest prayer-partners is a Zeta).

She attended the step-show at Regional this past year and had a good time. She really enjoyed seeing Sorors (especially the undergrads) strolling which I think put the pink icing on the green cake for her...but, that comes after seeing the "WORK" our chapter does for the community so she doesn't have it twisted.

As far as her throwing up a pinky, doing our call, or anything that even resembles Alpha Kappa Alpha...she knows not to do them and she respects why it's not appropriate for her to do so until if and when she has been granted membership (she even had to explain to a young lady in ON TRACK with her why membership had its priviledges). Now she does wear a LOT of pink but that's only because she looks pretty in pink (no pun intended) and it's her favorite color.

I just hope and pray that my actions as a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha will serve as a catalyst for my daughter as she grows older. Besides, she has sooo many "aunties" who will also share in steering Lil FeeFee in the right direction. :D :D

AWWWW!! I see our little friend! Trust Sorors- my Ls's little one is a soror in the making . . . LS- I don't think you have anything to worry about. I about died when she said "I like your AKA key chain"

Now, in answer to the question - I ditto what my LS said, but I also would respect my daughter's decision if she made the mistake of wanting anything else. But TRUST I AIN'T (yes, I said ain't) paying for it. My son, however, would be a Kappa (I don't think my fiance would appreciate him being anything else).