My Situation......
 

I have been reading for a couple of months now. Laying in bed last night I decided to just go for it and register so I could get some support or advise from the Wise Ones!

OK, here goes......(it will be kina long though)

I am at a small southern university. I am a freshman. I am not beautiful, but I am not ugly either - most think I am cute, and I am not fat, not skinny, just about right I'd say. I have a good GPA. Senior yr - 3.95, HS cumulative 3.4. I was active in HS, both of my parents were Greek, so was my aunt and several cousins.

I went through formal recruitment - here is what happened....

Day 1 - Met Rho Chi's and got in our groups and met each other. Told us what was what and told us to where to meet and at what time the next day and what to wear (really casual and very comfy shoes)

Day 2 - Open House Day! I wore nece denium shorts and a nice T-shirt with new athletic shoes, hair and make-up done. Visited all the houses. I loved every house!! Everyone was so awesome, I was impressed that they knew me! WOW!!
At the end of the day we had to fill out the scantron and rand the houses 1-5. Liked them all, so this was hard.
Our Rho Chis told us when to meet the next day to get our invites for the next day. We could only go to 4 houses though.

Day 3 - AHHHHH! I only got 3 invites back, I was bummed since my friends all got 4. I felt like a loser! I wonder why I got cut, and why by the ones I put 1 & 2?????
Anyway, my mom, and my Rho Chis told me that this is really ok, and to concentrate on the three I got, and to remember that I really liked them a lot! So I did!
This day was so fun!!!! We made thing for their philanthropy. I really enjoyed this at all of the houses! I talked to several of the sisters at each of the houses. I felt good about all of my visits, they all seemed to like me. I wore a skirt and a cute top, hair and make up done, my Rho Chis thought I looked cute, they told me.

Day 4 - This day we could have 3 houses. I went to get my invites and was so upset!!!! I only got 1. I was so embarrassed, my friends and everyone else in my group all got 3, now, what was wrong with me????
I pulled myself up by the boot straps, got dressed up (a different skirt and top, did my hair and make up), put on a positive attitude since I really liked this house, and off I went. Again it was embarrassing to have to go alone, with out the group since I only had one invite, but I was excited to go!
Again, I loved this house!! This was the best visit yet. I felt so close to this group this time. I could really see myself here. I decided that everyone was right, it did not matter how many houses you went to as long as you found the right one for you!!
I just knew I had found my HOME!!

Day 5 - Pref Day! I was ok with the fact I would only get 1 invitation because I knew it was the right one. I was getting ready to go to meet my Rho Chis to pick it up when there was a knock at my door. I was shocked to see my Rho Chis at my door. They looked really upset too. They told me that I did not have any invitations.
Yep, I was devestated!!!!! The Rho Chis told me they couldn't believe it either. One of the girls said she was so mad at her chapter since she knew I would be a great sister. The other Rho Chi said she was mad at hers too since they cut me and she knew I wanted them too.
Any way, they told me to go through informal recruitment or wait until spring. I was so hurt, what was I going to tell my friends? Good thing they are friends, they love me anyway. Off they all went to Pref.

Day 6 - Bid Day
I went to support my friends and watched them get their bids and the groups they wanted and that wanted them. I couldn't believe I was left out. My heart hurt.

Day 7 - I signed up for informal recruitment.

Day 8 - I was so confused, at my school you sign up for this informal thing and just wait until someone tells you about an activity at a house. It was really quiet......

Day 9 - one of my friends invited me to a gathering at the house she just got in. Luckily it was the one I liked the best, the one I hoped I would get in to. I had a good time and met more of the girls. I spent quite a bit of time with one girl, and got close to her. Again, I knew this was where I wanted to be.

Day 12 - My friend invited me to the house again. I am excited since I really want this. We had a good time again and I met a few more people. My friend said she voted for me and knew a few other girls did too.

Day 13 - I thought I would hear something, yet nothing, my friend does not know anything either.

Day 14 - Nothing yet

Day 15 - Nothing yet

Day 16 - Nothing yet, but I have been told that others have gotten bids. I am really nervous.

Day 17 - Still nothing, but I know that this informal recruitment will end in 4 days.

This is the end of the story. Today is day 17.

sigh!!! sometimes things happen that don't make a lot of sense. don't put your head down for an instant. keep smiling and going on and see what happens in the long run.
we're with you.

Hang in there, hon! And don't sit around waiting. Get out there and have fun, make friends, find your niche! If a bid comes, let it catch you by surprise 'cause you were so busy getting to know your new college home:)

LM

I get frustrated hearing stories like yours. There could be a lot of things going on behind the scenes that you just don't know about. One is always numbers--if houses are at total, they can't take anyone through COB. I really don't know what the deal is in your case though. Just stay positive and if you don't happen to get a bid in the fall, you CAN go thru in the spring. Sometimes houses move a little slow with informal rush if they are not in great need for numbers. It sounds like you would make a great sister for any house--let them see that...right now it is their loss--stay active and positive on campus, be friendly and you will be surprised at what a semester can do. Good luck and if being in a sorority is something you truly want, don't give up.

You know, I love you all!! I was right, I did need to just post this and get it off of my chest. I feel sooooo much better!
You know, I really do want to be part of the greek system. I want it because I LOVE being active and having lots to do. I LOVE being associated with a group that does good things for other people - the philanthropies at each of the sororities were so awesome! I love people! I love being involved! I enjoy being part of a team or group. This is why I want this so bad.
OK, for the good news....I have great friends! Several of them have been chosen to be in the greek system, but several have chosen not to be greek. I know I am "greek material", so I am not worried that I will never get this opportunity. I am having a great weekend, this weekend - I am with my awesome friends and my super supportive boyfriend. I love life!
Yep, I am bummed out a little that the opportunity has not come knocking yet, but, it will.....I know it will, just don't know when!!:)

Until then....I will be FANTASTIC!!

+ Attitude
 

You do have a great attitude going for ya and sooner or later the sororities will see that as well. I know that a friend of mine went thru COB at our school and I was amazed that the girls in my house were not jumping all over the chance to bid her...finally, after a heartfelt speech on my part we extended her a bid. And the house never regretted it--here was a girl that they weren't sure was a good match for DDD and 2 years later, she bacame president of the chapter! Just goes to show you....

;) Suzy,
Wow! I ditto all of the above! You have an awesome attitude!
You are not alone. My daughter is having a similar situation.
I also agree that it is hard to really get to know each other in this "crazy" process.
When you and your new home finally connect, I know it will be a Grand Day!
Good Luck!! :)

SuzyQ...My situation was so much like yours! I just love people. I love being super involved in EVERYTHING! Greek Life didn't open up for me until I became a grad student, but I did find my "home" and I'm so pleased to be a Beta Sigma Phi. Hang in there! Enjoy your first semester.

Erica

so......I have a question.
How would I go about finding out if the sorority I was interested in has completed their COBs? My friend has just pledged so she does not really know. Also, they are doing their pinning tomorrow night, so I assumed that they are more than likely done. Would this be a correct assumption?

It's too hard to know. They could have a pinning ceremony for the several women the have picked up and still have 1 or 2 slots left, or not. The best source is your friend. But she is not an active yet and can't really vote for membership. I'm sure her opinion counts though. Kept this greek stuff in perspective. Lots of us rushed as freshman and then rushed again as sophmores before we joined. Good luck!!!!!!

Keep your head up!

You'll make it! Your attitude on not giving up will be seen by the sorority you are hoping for, if not...don't worry I'm sure others have seen it and will make their move soon. If you stay positive and out there for eveyone to see your potential, the right org will come your way!!

Best of luck to you:)

I agree with what everyone says...you sound like an amazing girl and I hope that a GLO is able to see that soon! I wish you all the best of luck!

AAAHHH HAAAA
 

Ok....Interesting Development!!!!

I got back from dinner tonight and had a message on my answering maching! It was an active member of one of the sororities. She wanted to know if I would be interested in coming to a theme party tomorrow night!
Woooo Hooooo!!!
Of course I called her back and told her I would LOVE to!!!

By the way, this is the one I like THE best at first, but they cut me, so I did not think I had a chance!!! :D :D :D :D

Yeah! Good Luck and have a great time!

Good Luck!!
 

Let us know how it goes...I hope you have a wonderful time!!

ditto to that...
go have a ball and let things fall where they may.

GOOD LUCK
 

Keeping the warm fuzzies heading your way...
Good luck and just be yourself--let your personality shine through.;)

How exciting!!! Good luck! I hope it works out for you!

dont let any of this get you down!
 

One of my best friends rushed this yr at UT and was heavily cut and ended up not being placed in a house...i've spent almost every night since this happened ont he phone with her trying to convince her that there is nothing wrong with her. It hurts me to see such wonderful girls go unplaced...but it HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU! you sound like such a smart young lady with a good head on her shoulders. at the school i went to there were 800 and something girls going through rush, and only 80% were going to get placed. each house had to do some heavy cutting and i know my house had to do some major cutting and said that sometimes girls just slip through the crack in a way. i know if you keep an open mind and an open heart everything will work out for the best! <3 amelie



"dont argue with me! I have Lawyer in me"-Zach (paradise hotel baby!)

I just don't know.....
I went and had a really good time. I talked quite a bit and thought everything went well.
A friend, who after hearing I was going to this house said she would like to go too. I called to see if it was ok, the sister said yes, so she went with me.
This friend did not go through formal recruitment. She had not signed up for informal recruitment either. She just wanted to see what it was all about.
We got back to the dorms about 9:30. At 10, my friend knocks on my door and told me that the NM coordinator just called her and asked her to be a sister!
Great! I am really happy for her!! She goes to sign her papers at 9am.

Me...........:( rejection again. I don't understand. I am really hurt. I can't sleep, I have class in a few hours, I will see all of my beautiful friends in their cute shirts with their letters on......

Awww Sweetie....Im soo sorry that things are just not going well for you. Don't give up. Keep your head up and who knows maybe its just not your time right now. Ive been through alot too and I still haven't found my home yet but hopefully next fall I finally will :) But just concentrate on school and dont stress on the greek thing right now, you never know what could come of it :)


Nichole

my life story in sshort sentences
 

sweetheart, i went through rush my freshman year of college and got dissed by all sororities
i transferred schools and went through rush again, got in a sorority just for the name, and depledged before i even knew what was happening

here i am two schools later. . .and vice president of a sorority i would give my big toe for. . .


TRUST ME, if you're meant to be Greek, you're going to be Greek. . .

I'm really impressed with how optimistic you are!

Have you considered going to other houses' open bidding? Sometimes what looks like a great match initially turns out to be only so-so.... and the house you didn't really want to begin with is a great place for ya.

Not saying that this house isn't "home," just that there are a million stories on here from girls that ended up with their 2nd or 3rd choice of houses and wouldn't trade it now for the world.

Rush is a funny bird; sometimes it's as hard for pnms to get to know a house as it is for a house to get to know pnms.

Some places only do COB for a certain time, some schools, like mine, do open recruitment all the time- at least the chapters not at chapter total, so there are open parties throughout the year. Sometimes a few sisters will take a girl out for lunch- just the one girl, and that can be considered a COB event. It is just different at different schools.

I just have to say dont get discouraged. I know that is hard to say due to the fact that is what everyone told me. I went through rush about 2 weeks ago and i got released early. I didnt make it to pref night (rush being 4 days not including bid day), i was really sad, i cried... Then i got invited to a COB part this past tuesday, about 10 days from the end of recruitment, and they extended me a bid. So hope is not lost! Plus, you always have spring recruitment and next year if it doesnt work out this year.

SLIGHT HIJACK AHEAD:

My chapter would never offer a bid to only one of two girls who were rushing together. I thought this was a bit odd, several times, but I guess this is why.

To all of you that have responded -

Thank you so much for caring.

I just wish I knew what it was about me, or what I am doing that keeps me from getting voted in.

FWIW, we felt the same. No hard & fast rules, just common courtesy, I guess.

Interesting.

My chapter will extend a bid to one of two or three girls rushing together.

We had this problem my first rush on the other side. The girl we offered the bid to declined it, and let it be known that she intended to rush with her friend again the next time around, when her friend's GPA was higher.

It IS the chapter's policy to not give out another bid to a girl who's declined one before. This was COB; she had a chance to join the sisterhood, we extended the invitation to her, and for whatever reason, she declined it.

Now, of course, during formal, if a rushee cuts us, no big deal. We did pick up a girl that cut us during formal, suicided her house of preference, didn't get it, and then came to our COB parties.

I think it's the concept that you really get to know a chapter -- well, at least better than you do during formal -- during COB. So if you got to know us and then turned us down, fine. We'll respect your decision and not repeat the offer. But during rush things are a whirlwind and sometimes you realize, too late, that you've made some hasty decisions.